Hi Jill, hope you don't mind me joining in. I was diagnosed in April and was offered removal of lump but Consultant said she was concerned about the inverted nipple so I might have to have surgery again. Everything seemed unreal but I opted to have a mastectomy as did not want to go in twice. They also took 4 lymph nodes. I had the mastectomy on May 1st. Waiting for the results was really hard and the 2 weeks went by very slowly. I coped by keeping busy and in some ways convincing myself it wasn't happening. I did have some dark times but had support from my hubby and some very good friends. When I got my results I asked for a copy and did some research mainly on this site so I was sort of prepared for the next stage. I then went from the surgery consultant to the oncology consultant. It was shown that I had 2 types of cancer and was HER2 Positive which is rare with the types of cancer I had. I told him I liked to be different. Really I was petrified and scared but couldn't say that. My lymph nodes were clear. The Consultant told me it was more aggressive than they thought. I start chemo on 15th June followed by injections and then 5 years of tablets. Trying a cold cap as my hair is really long but not that confident it will work. It seems petty but losing my hair scares the daylight out of me. I think it is because everyone will know and have the label cancer patient. The same consultant treated my friend's mum and her cancer was very aggressive and she is now better. He outlined what he was going to do to make me better and I have every faith in him. There is always a doubt will it come back though but I dare not ask that question but from what I have read it could. I have just been leaping round the computer as I have a bad back and it just went into spasm. Running round hurt my non boob as still not healed yet. Things come in threes and I have just tripped over the chair my hubby used when he couldn't get in the shower. Had to laugh as it hurt so much and didn't want to cry but felt like it. I hope I don't go into spasm when having chemo or they will be chasing me around the room. It is so very hard to get your head round all that is happening but really we have no choice. We want to get better so do everything and anything that helps. Friends think I am really brave and strong because that is how I come across. I do have a fantastic hubby who understands. He broke his hip the day I was diagnosed. I now call him Pingu. I also have a very good friend whose mother and sister have both had breast cancer and she is with me every step of the way. We have also had two friends die during the past fortnight. Not from cancer but one was only 49. I did have a saying nothing else can happen but I never say it now as so,ething always used to happen. I may sound very calm, cool and collected but I assure you I am not. I understand everything you are going through and it is a total nightmare. I am here for you. When you are on your own or at night are the worst times. I was convinced on the day of my surgery I would not wake up but I did and I was having a cup of tea very soon after. I went in, in the morning and was home by 7.30 at night. I did not have a drain as consultant said fluid would disperse in my body. I am still swollen but no infection so all okay. I sound so cool but believe you me I am not. I understand how you are feeling and will talk to you anytime. I find the forum really helps keep me going as we all understand each other and don't have to pretend. Sending you hugs galore and positive vibes. Always here for you.
traci ,the waiting is the worse im having a lumpectomy thursday followed by chemo and rads everyone on here is ready to help we are all in the same boat hang on in there, i know its hard my emotions are all over the place,phone the helpline on moday the nurses are very good,when i was first diagnosed last month i was numb but talking to one of the nurses really helped,they explain ,good luck xxhugs
i went to the hospital yesterday consultant felt my breast and said he was sorry he new it was cancer sent for scan biopsy and mamogram he said my lymph modes felt clear i feel like ending it all what if theres nothing they can do cant sleep or eat making myself ill