hitting an all time low
hitting an all time low Anyone got any ideas of how to find the positives in all this s**t? I’m 28 & was diagnosed last year. I’ve had a mastectomy and am on my second cycle of chemo (e-cmf). Hate the way I look after surgery, and have lost all my hair and generally not in a good place right now. I’ve been trying to put on a brave face as I feel guilty off-loading on friends all the time, but it’s getting harder to do so I kind of avoid seeing them now 'cos I’m not much fun to be around. I know I’m stuck in some horrible downward spiral but don’t know how to get out of it. Please help - if only for the sanity of my poor dog who seems to spend most of the time listening to me wittering on at her! Yvonne
Helpline and Peer Support Hi Yvonne
I am sorry to hear that things aren’t too good for you at the moment, but am sure you will receive support and reassurance from other users.
In the meantime, for some extra support you may wish to contact the Breast Cancer Care helpline where the team are either breast care nurses or have experience of breast cancer. The team comes from a variety of backgrounds, so callers get to talk to someone who has an understanding of the issues they’re facing and they can talk to you about both technical and emotional issues surrounding breast cancer.
The number for the help line is 0808 800 6000 and is open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm, Saturdays 9am - 2pm.
Alternatively you may also find of interest Breast Cancer Care’s peer support service. This puts you in touch with someone who has personal experience of breast cancer and has been trained to listen and offer emotional support. We do our best to match you with someone who has experienced the issues that are most important to you, for example, you may want to discuss your options for treatment, the effects on your family life or simply share your feelings with someone who understands.
you will find the link below.
breastcancercare.org.uk/content.php?page_id=4438
I do hope you find this information of interest.
Kind regards.
Forum Host
Breast Cancer Care
Same here Ahhhhhh!! Your post rang so true I just had to reply to you! I am 31 and was diagnosed just over 18 months ago, so I know how it feels to be a young breast cancer sufferer.
Firstly I have to say that I don’t think there are too many positives to be found with this. You can certainly try and think positively, but I for one am pretty certain that it’s a rubbish experience, not made any easier by the common myth that at the end of it we all emerge as angelic / virgin Mary figures.
Talking about what’s going on in your mind is one really good way of making yourself feel better. It may be that your friends are happy to listen, but don’t really know how to say so? If not, then you could try writing what you’re thinking down or going to see a counsellor. I had about 6 months of counselling last year (would never have considered it before all this) and actually found it a massive help. It’s astonishing how easy it can be to sit and talk about yourself for an hour when you’re encouraged to do so. If you live in London you could go to the Cancer Counselling Trust, or otherwise contact your Breast Care nurse to find out where counselling is offered in your area. I am pretty sure that Macmillan offer it at all hospitals.
Hope this helps.
X
It sucks… Hi Yvonne
despite all the tremendous support you get on a site like this, I’ve found dealing with BC is a very lonely and isolating business. Friends are well meaning but dont always truly understand what’s happening to you physically and emotionally and the fear and sadness we all feel at some point in time .You cant “off load” on your family as (I’ve found) their emotions are harder to deal with than my own.I can imagine it’s even more isolating if your’re very young. I was lucky in that I struck up a friendship with a lady who started treatment at the same time and we cajoled, laughed, grumbled,sulked and complained our way through treatment.I think counselling is probably a good option if you have access to it because you can safely off-load onto a stranger though I know it dosent suit everyone .
It’s hard to believe, but you will find a way through and your mood will lift -but dont battle on with it if it dosen’t -talk to your BC nurse , she’s there to help–as we are if we can!
Cherryx
Hi Yvonne,
I’m 27 and was DX last year. I have had a masectomy and am due my last chemo next week (Horrah!!). You’re certainly not alone in your feelings. I find it difficult telling friends, boyfriend and family all of my feelings as I don’t want to worry or upset them, things came to a head about 2 months after my Dx and I felt really low, I started councelling with the Tenovus charity, and have found it really heplfull to just have someone there, where I can take off the brave face and offload all of these built up feelings. I’ve never had concelling before, but can really recommend it. I’m stil s**t scared for the future and do still get down days, but I definetly don’t feel as low. One thing i’ve realised through all this, is that as supportive friends and family are, the people who “truly” understand are the people who’ve being through it, but please don’t cast aside your friends for fear of bringing them down, if there true friends they’ll be there for you, no matter what, and at the moment we all need all the support we can to help us get through this.
Take care, Lisa x
I LOVE LIFE HI
I am 32 years old and was diagnosed in May 2006.
My only positive I say to people is thank god that I have it now and not 10 years or more ago. At least there are all these trials now, Herceptin is available and they use chemo more.
Thats the only positive I can think of plus if we can get through this, we can get through anything. It also makes us appreciate life much more than other people and I plan to enjoy mine. Want to do a parachute jump this year.
Mandyxx
I am older than you 47-45 at diagnosis-but can still identify your feelings with those l experienced.Counselling really helped me-could talk about how l really felt without upetting anyone.Certainly not come out of this as a saint or superwomen but made me realise life is for living and dont suffer fools any more!
just wanted to say your not alone and hang in there
love sharon
Hi Yvonne You are not alone. I too am feeing low today and yesterday and since my diagnosis in Nov had been positive and “strong” but feel I am running out of steam. I guess we all get bad days and good. On the odd day I feel very positive and almost as if this happened for a reason and I will come out of it stronger and more determined to make something of my life. But today and yesterday I feel very alone and desperately sad. My partner has been great but I think he is also running out of steam - I think he doesn’t like to talk about the illness anymore so I avoid talking to him about it and that may be creating distance between us? I have my mastectomy next week and although I am ten years older than you I will be feeling the loss of my breast very greatly.
I am one of those people who like to explain things and I can’t explain why I or many women like me, who have healthy lifestyles and diet etc and are young get a disease like this. It feels like a lottery and it is not fair.
I’m using the forum more often as I feel family may be either needing a bit of respite from supporting me or becoming used to me having cancer - which may sound a bit weird - as I do feel no one understands unless you are going through it or have gone through it. Good luck Yvonne - there are lots of positive outcomes on this site alone. What I cling on to is the fact that breast cancer is a treatable disease - not curable yet - but it is treatable and there is life beyond diagnosis which is something I did not comprehend when they told me the diagnosis. When they first told me I thought I was going to die but now I realize I am just going to have a s****y time and then come to terms with it but still live on hopefully to a grand old age.
All the best, Chloe
counselling hi there
can recommend cognitive therapy - was able to book this through my GP so maybe worth trying this avenue. The peer support really helped as well, you can really let it all out. I’ve been diagnosed at 37 and on the 4th cycle of fec with mastectomy afterwards. I find just getting out in the fresh air helps - lifts the spirits. Hang in there - i know there are highs and lows with this game, but when there is a high make the absolute most of it and savour the memory for when we hit the lows.
Have agreat bank holiday
It sucks I know Hi Yvonne,
Yep it sucks and but fortunately you are in excellent company.
Counselling did nothing for me, but I have met Apple and she struck me as a super cool chick, so if it helped her, I would say that it’s definitely worth a punt.
If you are London based how about joining us for the pre-menopausal support group picnic in Kensington Gardens on the 26th? You will get to meet a whole bunch who know exactly where you are coming from.
On the positive side there is a lot to be said for facing your mortality.
Your hair will grow back, thank god that you were dx and on the other side of the treatment, you will appreciate every breath that you take, which most of your peers will never comprehend in the same way that you will.
Stick with it, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
All the best Mrs S xxx