how do u get thru this?

[Guest user]

Hi Sue

Last year at this time I was looking forward to a few planned holidays, early retirement and more time with my 16 grandchildren. I was diagnosed in May and someone pressed the pause button! Like you I was in shock and spent days and weeks crying. It seemed like a long dark road.

Since then I've had surgery, undergone 8 chemos and now only 3 rads to go before I finish. I already have 3 trips booked this year and am looking forward to spending more time with the grandchildren who I've not had the energy for the past year. As the treatment goes on I've learned to take one step at a time and I've not cried for months.

You will get your life back, although it does seem a long road at the beginning.

And Canada - we did the coast to coast on Via Rail a few years ago, with a couple of weeks in Jasper, Banff & Lake Louise. What a wonderful country. We plan to to do it again very soon.

Takre care and let us know how you get on.

Mal

[Guest user]

Hi Sue
God 20 below now that's cold, we panicked when the temp went down to 1 below last week!!! I am worried about telling my aunt she is 79 & the only relative of that generation left we are very close.. It looks like we will be having our ops about the same time, I have blood tests nex wed & then hopefully I will have a date shortly after that. So scary as until you go under the knife you don't really know, hopefully mine will be a little lump just needing to get out in the fresh air!!! & not have let any nasty little bits behind!!! Let me know how it goes. x

[Guest user]

Thanks so much to you all. I can't believe the caring and support I have received from so many fantastic women who are busy with their own lives but are willing to reach out and offer help and support to a stranger. I had to let my brother know today (he lives in Leicester) but I e-mailed his sons first to find out if he was up to knowing that his sister in Canada was going to have surgery...he phoned me within the hour & even though he is 75 & doesn't really know that much about it, he told me he would be there for me & we would stay in touch weekly.

[Guest user]

On my latest trip to India (Nov-Dec 08) I went with a friend who is 75 years young, and she and I went on sleepers from Calcutta (also known as Kolkata) up to Darjeeling. shouldn't be called sleepers as I got no sleep at all. while we were in India, we found out Mumbai was under seige from gunmen, but being in Calcutta we were away from it.

Although I have made more effort to seize the day, I was pretty glad to get home and not have to worry about making my way in a foreign place, also I was glad when i'd finished the antimalarials

Mole

[Guest user]

Hi Susan

I would just like to echo all the positive thoughts that everyone else is sending you. I'm post op and half way through my chemo now and have found really wonderful support on this site.

Wishing you all the very best, we are all rooting for you.

[Guest user]

Hi Susan

Wishing you a good sleep tonight. It's nerve wracking going in for the results, but take a book (one you actually think you'll enjoy - so far I've started and given away 3 of them! Must choose better.....), a packet of sweeties, and a bottle of water, just in case there's a wee bit of wait. Breathe away the worries, breathe in the good. That sounds as silly as I thought it would! 😄 Doesn't mean it won't work. 🙂

[Guest user]

Susan, Welcome to the club with the crap joining qualifications.You'll find loads of help and support on this site (as well as laughter and fun).You've obviously come through a lot already,so will probably deal with BC too.My mum has had everything but ber-beri and still travels abroad with her friends and goes to local dances.She's 72 and still acts like she's a youngster.Being ill isn't easy,but most of us manage to deal with it in our own specia way.Good Luck!

[GrannyScouse]

Hi, Susan

So sorry you've had to join the club nobody wants to join. Somebody said that to me on here when I joined and I've used it a few times since - and how right it is!

Well, it's no walk in the park having cancer but do you know what, I had a COMMON COLD before Christmas, phoned my GP, whinged and said it was 10 times worse than having cancer!!

Your treatment will be starting soon and then you'll feel much better. And as for having a mastectomy, well, I'm so glad I had mine because I met some fantastic ladies in hospital and three of us meet up regularly for lunch and laughs. One was in for lymph node removal, the other for investigation re kidneys.

Carry on enjoying life and your grandchildren - they're priceless.

Lived in Calgary, Alberta, so know where you're coming from with the temperature! Fabulous country.

Good luck to us all.
Maureen xx

[Guest user]

Thanks for your support Val, I have 4 grandchildren (2 of each) they are all wonderful little people & I enjoy them so much. I guess everyone is right by saying that once the treatment starts it is easier to cope, right now its just so scary, but I should find out tomorrow when they will do the surgery & I will try & look ahead to when I will be better & can get on with my life again! Enjoy your 8, almost 9, grandchildren Val
Love Susanxx

[horace]

Hi Susan I too was diagnosed at 62 in 2006 and thought it was the end of the world I had op,chemo,rads but since then I have been to Turkey twice,had a wonderful holiday in Ireland and enjoyed my 8[soon 9]grandchildren.I have check up with oncologist on 27th and had 2 year mammo in November[NED].It feels so desperate at the beginning but once treatment starts you feel you are going forward and it is easier to cope.Your other health problems must make it all so much worse but try to gather up your strength and you will soon be on your travels:)
Love Valxx

[Anthi]

Hello Suecooe

Sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I just wanted to echo what others have said - once treatment starts you will feel better - it's the waiting which is the worst.

I'm 62 and was diagnosed just over 2 years ago. I had to cancel a couple of things while I had treatment but once it was finished I decided I to do all the things I'd been planning before diagnosis and last year I had several wonderful trips abroad.

Good luck with your treatment. You'll get through it - we all do.
Take care
Love Anthi x

[Guest user]

Hi suecooe

Stick with it! You have strength beyond your imagining. You're a girl after all. What are we but strong?! lol

[Marge]

Sorry to see you have joined this club Susan, none of us would be here by our own choice ! Believe me you will get through this,it just puts a hold on your life for a few months, Make your travel plans for later in the year. Life wont be quite the same as it was, but you will gradually get better. I am nearly 3 years post dx, I too was 62 at the time, I have travelled widely since my treatment finished, somehow you seem to want to rush and do everything you ever wanted to
Good luck for your surgery and treatments, you will get oodles of support on this forum and make very good friends

Marge

[Guest user]

well Mole it seems there is life after bc, 5 years wow! you have travelled to a lot of places, I envy you..but I'm going to do it too. My partner & I had planned on going to Scotland in April (his son is getting married) then travelling to the Lake District to see an old school friend of ours, then to Leicester (actually Sapcote) to see my Brother & family, followed by a trip to Spain (somewhere warm please), but I think those plans are probably going down the drain for me, I told my partner, Dave, that he has to go, but he really doesn't have to go to Spain!

[Guest user]

Hi Angie
Hey congrats on getting to your 1 year anniversary..I bet it was rough on you but you made it! Hope I can be as brave & strong as you, good luck kiddo you deserve it

Just phoned my surgeon to see if he had come up with a date for my masectomy yet....office closed until Monday, but it's only 11:45am here... oh well just have to take out my frustrations on my family for the whole weekend....

[Guest user]

I was diagnosed aged 48 and thought I wouldn't travel again. Since then I've been to New Zealand, Venice, Ireland, twice to India (once on my own) and to America. Got quite near Niagara as visited New York and North Philadelphia (Williamsport)

I found breast cancer was a spur to my wanderlust but when first diagnosed I didn't think I'd live a week - I was five years post diagnosis on 5 Dec 2008

Mole

[Guest user]

I thought I had bad luck. That's just mean.

But RoadRunner's right, hold onto that thought, you should still get to travel. Today's the 1 year anniversary of my own diagnosis, I'll be honest it was a rough year in places. I had a bilateral Mastectomy back in Feb and it wasn't too bad at all, hardly any pain and I was out walking the dog as soon as I got home. My other half and I bought an old camper van and did it up and went away a few times during my chemo (which was also not as bad as I thought), all in all somehow we got through the treatment and I'm taking my old life back with renewed vigor (or stubbornness possibly).

Best of luck, waiting at the start is by far the hardest bit and you've already done that.

Angie

[Guest user]

SuzanneP thanks for the info on the American site ..I have been on the Canadian site but although lots of good info I didn't find any forums like yours with such a huge lot of information & support from fantastic women

Annieo...So sorry to hear about your cancers & the loss of your Mum, as you say one day at a time...love your fridge magnet..mine just says "a day without wine is like a day without sunshine" (I do live in the wine belt of Niagara Falls, so have to enjoy the occasional? red!)

Thanks again, all of you, for your wonderful messages of support
Susan x

[Guest user]

Hi Susan
Just wanted to say welcome to this site where you can shout, cry, moan and get all your fears out in the open, it sure has helped me. All i can say is you will get through this, you sound like you are a tough cookie having gone through the mill. I too at some point felt the same as you. Had breast cancer in 2005 then last year was dx with kidney cancer and lost my mum suddenly just before xmas. With the support of good friends, family and the wonderful, knowledgable women on this site you will cope, just like i have, albeit one day at a time!
I love the saying I have on a fridge magnet "just like a teabag you never know how strong a woman is till she is in hot water" God willing you will find that strength.
Take care
Ann x

[Guest user]

HI Susan,

Sorry to hear of your BC diagnosis on top of everything else you have. Some folks are so greedy - ha ha. As others have said, you will probably start to feel better (for want of a better word) when you start to receive treatment so you are able to feel something is being done to get rid of it.

Just to let you know that as well as getting support on here you might also like to sign up to the forums at www.BreastCancer.org which I believe is an American site but essentially the same as this. That way you can have the best of both worlds as it may be that some of the treatment protocols you can receive in Canada are more in keeping with those of the American ones. (We seem to have differing regimes for some things here in the UK, especially if treated free on the National Health Service).

Suze

[dotchas]

Hi Susan,

You are never alone on here there is always a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on.Its very hard when you have had other problems, to come to terms with life chucking more sh*t at you.Just take it one stage at a time and you will get there,the waiting is always the worst.

Take care,
Dot
x

[Guest user]

Thanks Roadrunner you deserve to be able to get on with your life after 2 years I sincerely hope you are enjoying every minute of it

Magel - you are so lucky to live in a warm country, I live near Niagara Falls Canada & today our temp is minus 20C with lots of snow guess it doesn't matter where we live though, this awful thing inside seems to find us anyway

Thanks to you all for replying to me I don't feel as quite alone as I did earlier

Susan xxx

[Sam_BCC]

Hi Susan

Welcome to the Breast Cancer Care forums. I am sorry to read of your recent diagnosis. As well as the help and advice you are receiving from the other users you may find BCC's resource pack helpful, it has been designed for those newly diagnosed and contains a lot of helpful information. If you would like a copy just follow this link:-

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk//content.php?page_id=7514

If you feel you need to talk to someone in confidence then please give the helpline a call, the staff here are all either breast care nurses or people who have personal experience of breast care issues. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 the lines open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm and Saturdays 9am - 2pm.

I hope this is of some help to you.

Kind regards
Sam (BCC Facilitator)

[kittenkat]

I found it soooo hard to be brave early on and felt I had to to a certain extent as the kids were shell shocked, I found I was just looking forward to getting to bed to be on my own but didn't want to go too early as it would have been different to usual and I wanted to try and reinforce normality - whatever that is! When I got to bed I couldn't sleep......

[Guest user]

Thanks Kittenkat for replying to me...just wish I could stop crying, have to put on a brave front in front of partner, kids & grandkids, but when alone tears flow freely.. hopefully I can get to the "I can take whatever you throw at me" stage ASAP
susan

[Guest user]

Hi Sue

Really sorry to hear bout all your probs. Life is not fair but at least we can walk & talk see & hear (for now anyway!!!!!) I've just been diagnosed grade 2 tumour I live in Spain so lucky that the medical is so good here but I'm not fluent yet so a bit difficult understanding everything. I cry at the drop of a hat, i think most of us do. i think that is one of the worst things i hate being vunerable. Take care & there is always someone on this site that is going through or has been there.Big hug!!

[RoadRunner]

Hi Sue,

You'll still be able to do your travelling, but you will just need to put your plans on hold for a while. Hang on to that thought.

You will probably feel a bit better once you get your treatment started. It's always better when you feel you are doing something about it. After you have had your surgery you will probably have a follow up appointment with your surgeon when he will give you the pathology results etc, and therefore what other treatment you may need (eg chemo/rads etc). This will then give you a timescale to work to.

I was dx two year ago next month. I had a mastectomy/chemo/rads/herceptin and finally finished it all last December. At the time it feels like it will never end, but believe me it does, and then you can get on with your life again.

Best wishes
xx

[kittenkat]

hi sue....I'm so sorry you're having to join us - this site can be a big help - and with all your other medical probs you're right, its just not bl**dy fair!! Its all so raw and shocking at the moment that I think our bodies just go into panic mode - mine did - I was diagnosed last wed (7th) and had awful panic and anxiety till the monday when something changed - don't know what or how, but you too will get there I think you sound so brave and strong to have battled the other things so far and you will do this one too - I have heard so many positive stories and heard of so many people who have been down this road that it has really shocked me and I feel so awful for not even thinking about it before etc - you don't really understand till you 're in the awful position....cry when you want to and call on here - there is always someone about xx

[kittenkat]

can't see your message yet (mods have to ok it first one I think) but will check back soon xx

[Guest user]

I feel so down & desperate, had to take early retirement last year as I had a stroke, followed by being diagnosed with diabetes type 2, followed by being diagnosed with an herederity blood disorder which makes me highly suspectible for blood clots (who passed this on to me!) Felt a lump in my left breast last October, family doc says he would send me to see someone as he didn't think I could have a mammogram as my pacemaker (yeah got one of those too) was too close...wrong! had mammograms (ouch), ultrasound last week & was phoned on Monday (home alone) to say I had breast cancer & to go into surgeons office wednesday with a list of any questions I may have!!! I broke down & sobbed & thought why me? I've just got on track with all my other sicko stuff & was looking to maybe do some travelling & enjoying whats left (I'm 62). I found this forum yesterday & have been reading almost everything I can find. I have to have a masectomy in the next 2-3 weeks & after reading what all you fantastic women are going thru and how you are coping/living with this horrid disease then maybe there's hope for me too!