I admire all you ladies who’ve managed to return to a “proper” job.I’m managing to do a few hours…about 5 or 6 in the afternoons in my special needs job but that’s been basically a visit to the museum or sitting in sensory room.My morning cleaning job I had no longer exists as the shop closed so I would have to start from scratch, looking for work, explaining, no one helping me out because they know me there etc.I’m looking online but know inside I’m really not fit enough yet.Still have some cording and pain in affected side and fatigue is bad some days.Muscle aches and pains and still tender inside as I had my kidney removed for cancer too.I’m reluctant to try a completely different job as with chemo brain I don’t want the stress of learning something new.I have savings but as I’m single and haven’t paid enough for a full pension, will need that for retirement.Wish I could afford to retire and I’d do it like a shot…would be a weight off my mind!
Treeze I didn’t want to scoot by your post. It’s rotten and probably no consolation to know going back to work has been hard with fatigue for me too. I’m lucky to have a job with policies to support me back to work. You’ve had such a lot going on with two cancers at once. Not sure if I’m repeating advice you’ve already had, but I’d strongly suggest contacting Macmillan for support with possible benefits to tide you over at least in the short term ESA/tax credits or something similar. You need to be able to focus on something to support your recovery like your passion for drama. Hugs xx
Treeze
Oh mate I really do not know what to say that will help, but it is difficult to get back to working normal hours and it does very much depend on what job you do as to how easy that is or not. I am lucky because I work in an office pretty much on my own with no stress so it has been easier for me, however, yours is a very different scenario.
I think Janey’s suggestion of contacting MacMillan to see how they can help, also if you have a CAB by you it might be worth having a word with them as they may be able to look what benefits you might be entitled to.
Sending you a hug
Helena xxx
Oh Leigh! Was reading your reply at 5 this morning after a bad night…wish I could give you a hug too! You said all the right things that I needed to hear, thank.Did the free exercise DVD from breast cancer care the other day and spent the fast part of it crying while doing it, thinking of all the fun energy jazzercise classes I did in the past with my daughter.I thought I was tired then…little did I know! I always get very uptight about money and kept it at a certain level in the bank, putting my wage in fastidiously and keeping to a tight budget.Its my way of staying in control and I’ve lost that.I always thought"I"ll be ok as long as I can keep working".well, I’m still here anyway 
Its just being me, on my own, that gets scared but I know my daughter wouldn’t see me homeless or anything.Sorry, it’s early and I’m rambling! I felt safe in my bubble during treatment as I knew I couldn’t work and everyone else knew that and expected nothing of me.Now some people ask if I’m back working and think end of treatment means you’re normal again.You’re completely right, I get around when I’m on my own but if anyone observed me I’m slow, clumsy and stagger to my feet with my bones creaking sometimes like an old lady:)I do need longer.You really cheered me up- let’s win that lottery and in the meantime a massive thank you hug from me.You’ve already made a difference to someone’s day and it’s only 6.45! Xx
Thanks Cath…yes that’s right, even those who were most supportive like in my afternoon job now I’m back for a few hours it’s just get on with it.I mentioned my arm was stiff and aching today and I got a sort of"oh?..oh yeah right" response like it’s all forgotten about and surprising I should think of it.Just so reasurring to talk to you all.x
Leigh…thank you…started the new job you sent me today- best job I ever had, I’m loving! With the money I’ll make I can have those massages, holidays and other luxury items like good and warmth I’ve been craving :)Seriously I’ve decided to give myself a day off today from fretting and stressing.Done nothing but since my dad went downhill after his fall.I’ve started with a lay in and a good book, breakfast in bed and will carry on like that today.if I start worrying, going to remind myself it’s my day off! xx
Hi Leigh…dad is being treated for pneumonia and chest infection but we’ve been told it’s been discovered he had cancer in the lungs which has metastasized in his liver.He’s not aware of this yet but in his younger days he worked with asbestos and lots of men he worked with developed cancer.He won’t be able to go home again and depending on what tests reveal and doctors decide it will be nursing or residential care.We don’t yet know how long he has.He looks better today and isn’t confused any more although gets muddled about where he is and what day it is which is understandable.xx
Thank you Leigh.They’ve told us today that he has about 6 weeks left.
Just to let people know, my dad passed away peacefully yesterday afternoon.
Treeze thank you for letting us know. Such a difficult time for you and holding you in my thoughts. Lots of love xx