didnt realise that stage 3 cancers can have 40% chance of recurrance. having just started my journey (stage 3 wle, 6 lots of fec 75), I wish i hadnt seen this, i dont even mind if the moderator takes this post off, its just too scary to go through this and then have that thought hanging over us, it was an article to do with bernie nolan.
sorry everyone, just boost me up
damn.
anne x
Try not to worry too much, Anne. Statistics say nothing about how well you will respond to treatment, just what the average is. And I also found some comfort in what another person posted on a different thread (can’t remember which one) - the statistics are based on the outcomes for patients who had their treatment some time ago, so you will probably do better because treatments have improved in the meantime.
cyberhugs!
Margaret
Agree with sdfmeg…and remember the accountants’ mantra…lies, da** lies and statistics! You say stage 3, WLE etc., don’t mean to question you, but do you mean grade 3, which is different to the ‘stage’…mine was grade 3, WLE, SNB, FEC-T x 6, Stage 2a…have a look at nhs predict for perhaps some reassurance? xo
Yes, that’s how I like to look at it - 60% are doing well and that’s based on outcomes for people who had their treatment some time ago, and treatments are improving at a really fast rate.
xx
Try not to dwell on it too much hun , I was DX grade 3 in feb with lymph involvment, I asked my Onc what the percentage of a recurrance was afetr treatment ( WLE , ANC CHEMO, RADS X 20 ) and he said now had 70% chance of it NOT returning , focus on the treatment first and foremost as other ladies said, statistics are just that and treatments are getting better all the time,
Good luck with your treatment x
I don’t know where the 40% came from. I was grade 3 stage 3a at diagnosis and my ONC said I had an 83% chance of getting through the next 5 years without it coming back (after 5 years the % increases)
Stay away from reading negative stuff and statistics about BC - we are ALL different and just because it has come back for Bernie Nolan, it doesn’t mean that we have to live the rest of our lives in fear.
I put my trust in my Oncology team and accepted every single treatment. There is no reason why I shouldn’t be one of the survivors who can live to a good old age and wear a purple hat and drink gin out of the bottle.
supertrouper,lottie 63,maryland likeslilac lottie, margaret etc
thanks so much, you are all so knowledgable, and so wonderful to know that yes, statistics are just that, and we are putting our faith in the current treatments which may not relate to any of this.
it was grade 3 maryland, wasnt thinking straight. forgot that.
you wrote just what i needed.
time to watch some telly and leave cancer talk for now.
thanks for your support and messages
anne xx
I also read this and wish I’d never read it. I didn’t realise this either. Yesterday was the worst day I have had since being diagnosed (9th October) and I put it down to reading it. Today, however was much better as have seen my consultant and breast care nurse who both made me feel much more positive.
None of us intends to upset other, I’m sure, but I have found some of the comments on this thread and on the Bernie Nolan one very upsetting.
We are all different. Some of us have primary bc, some have secondaries. Within the secondaries group there are those, such as myself, who have had a primary diagnosis and that, or very soon afterwards (3 weeks in my case), been told that the cancer had already spread and is incurable.
I am doing well on treatment more than 6 years after my primary diagnosis - well enough to keep an eye on these forums - but I can remember my secondary diagnosis day as if it were yesterday. I choose not to dwell on that, but to encourage others who have been recently diagnosed.
Yes, me too, Mrs Blue. It is hard to find one’s way through this thicket that is bc, and I am hearing that fear can make us mean as well as a support to each other. And of course, the difficulty of being on the forum is that the quick smile, or squeeze of the hand just doesn’t come through–only the hard harsh words: the first one being “cancer”. We’ve had several conversations over in the “Benchland” thread about “survivor guilt” and the dis-comfort of the “my cancer’s worse than yours” zone for all the participants. I get a pang when I read one of the “Oh thank goodness, I didn’t realise she had lymph involvement” comments, that flicker of fear that has become all too common. (My lymph involvement trumps your “silly little lump”, oh yes, I’ve had those thoughts.) None of my docs has commented on my chances, and I’m too scared to ask, but I’ll never forget my hatchet-faced surgeon saying “ER negative, yes that worsens your prognosis. HER negative, that slightly worsens your prognosis, too…” Never realised till that day that “prognosis” was a four-letter word.
Turns out life is hard, isn’t it? But it also turns out that I’d rather fight with you guys AND get the love and support that I also feel flowing from these boards (boy that sounded sappy). Hang in there, please. Speaking for myself, I need all of you.
mrsblue and quail, I want to say something but not quite sure what, Yes everyone is having a different journey, bit naff i know but the support and being able to sound off, or laugh is just so good at the moment. and I need all of you too,
hope today has been a good day for all of us, if not tomorrow might be. I am learning just to go with it, and my brother’s analogy from Finding Nemo, ‘is just keep swimming sis’. saus enough for me for now.
big hugs
xxx
last year my onc gave me sats b4 my chemo… well after a recorrance when i see him tomorrow i will tell him i dont want to hear sats… knowing the numbers wont change anything… my husband and children are my focus.
Hooray, Charlotte! That seems to be another way of saying “keep swimming, Sis” doesn’t it? You just have to focus on the good things, try to not obsess over the bad things and get on with it as long as you can. For me that is sometimes easier said than done, but it turns out it is a good mantra for life, not just for living with bc.
Thanks for your reply AMD. I appreciate the sense of solidarity I find here. Even when we’re quarrelling, you all ‘get it’ in a way most of the rest of my world doesn’t.
xx
Hi amd66,
I’m also stage 3… well, stage 3a to be precise, so i SO SO know how you feel. However I don’t worry about the statistics side of it anymore, i just get on with my life and go with the flow. No point worrying about it.We are all human and it’s perfectly normal to worry. I used to be a worrier but i realised it wasn’t getting me anywhere. At the end of the day no matter what stage we are, cancer is cancer. I am happy enough to know that at present there is no evidence of cancer in my body because i have had scans to show that, so i just keep that in my mind. I say to people i HAD cancer because as far as imconcerned they cut the bugger out and im having all the treatments to reduce the chances if it coming back and its killing any mocroscopic cells that may have been left. I put trust in to my cancer team, they are giving us the best chances of survival and are doing all they can to give us the best possible outcome. Yes, there is a higher risk that it might come back because we are stage 3, but there is aslo a very good damn chance of it not coming back as well. It’s swings and roundabouts. You could get somoeone who has stage 1 cancer and they still get recurrences. It is a crafty,horrible disease.
My view is take one day as it comes and keep telling yourself you are doing well and this is not going to beat you. Just cross any hurdles when you get to them ,no point worrying about something that hasn’t happened… 
As for Bernie Nolan, well, firstly the press blow everything out of proportion and they make money out of the bad stories. We don’t know the facts about Bernie. We don’t know what type of cancer she had etc etc.We don’t know her circumstamces. What about the millions of people who have survived BC?? why dont they post stories like that?? It gets me really angry tbh. They scaremonger us. When i heard about Bernie it scared the living daylights out of me and i couldn’t get her out of my head for days. I was thinking that could be me. Then i told myself that i was being stupid and i pulled myself together…LOL. we are all different.
Also stage 3 cancer is still curable. Even stage 4 is treatable, it may not be curable but the survival rates for it are still good and are getting better all the time and they treat it as a chronic disease these days.
Keep being positive and keep smiling because that’s what i do…
Karen xx