just diagnosed

[Anna_BCC]

Dear All

We have taken the decision to lock this topic.

Best Wishes
Annabel
Moderator

[Guest user]

Hi all,

I think we need to take a breath here and find some common ground? Everyone deals with breast cancer in a different way, physically and mentally, isn't that the point? and isn't the point of this forum to share experiences? good, bad, positive, whatever. That is surely the strength of this website, speaking to women that are going through it. I think you can only explain what you have experienced and I also don't think that Karen will assume that her experience will be exactly the same as Jacq's?

Take care

Veggie

[notyetinthebox]

I'm sorry I'm bored with it too!

[Guest user]

I'm sorry you are bored by it but I think on a large forum like this it is important that myths and twaddle and exposed as such. And it is utter twaddle to assert that positive thinking works as some kind of anti-emetic. Because women start to feel inadequate if they feel unwell.

[wills1]

Thank you for trying to cheer me up I do appreciate it.I hope you all have a good weekend and we all get to see some sunshine! Thank you again. Wills1

[notyetinthebox]

Why do I have to keep repeating myself? I was merely attempting to cheer up wills1 - and saying that not everybody gets sick with chemo. It was obviously not relevant to you. Bloody hell, this is now soooooo boring.

[Guest user]

You claimed that through positive thinking you were able to fend off the nausea associated with chemotherapy.
That is just ridiculous and deeply offensive to women like myself who were desperately ill during chemo through no fault of their own.
In my earlier post I challenged you on this claim but you have chosen to ignore it and started lashing out at others as hypocrites.

[notyetinthebox]

You too - lol!x

[belinda]

Goodness knows..have a good weekend..and I mean that sincerely.
Take Care.

[notyetinthebox]

So .... we've all offended each other!

[belinda]

Jacqnotyetinthebox I'm a hypocrite because I'm hopeful I may have a few more years left?
My posting was in no way personal and I find your response offensive.

[notyetinthebox]

As stated previously - where did I say that it would cure cancer?

[scottishlass]

I think there is a bit of a difference between stayting positive abd thinking that staying positive will cure you or get you through Cancer. Scottishlass ( not a hypocrit at all),

[notyetinthebox]

Well now, would you believe it? There's me getting a rollicking for trying to give somebody (i.e. wills 1) some hope who was dreading their impending chemo., and - lo and behold - on another thread (Living with Secondary Cancer -"Warning ... a bit of a rant") we have Belinda describing herself as an optimist since being diagnosed, and Scottish Lass saying that she continues to be positive. Both posts dated today!!!! Hypocrites or what?

[belinda]

Hi..I'm on my first chemo after many years of hormonal treatments..I'm on chemo for life now and so far, this particular chemo has been ok, it's been do-able. But of course it's all down to pure luck and I know some on the same chemo who have had one hell of a horrible time. I could have had a 'positive' approach or a 'negative' approach to starting this chemo. I don't believe either would have had any bearing on the outcome. Good Luck to all going through chemotherapy.

[notyetinthebox]

Hmmm, can't quite remember saying that positivity would equal a cure for cancer. What tosh, what ill-informed reading. It was obvious I was only referring to positive thinking re: not wanting the nausea side of the chemo to affect me.

[scottishlass]

I am afraid I agree with Jane on the myth of positive thinking. I have lost several friends to the dreaded disease who really wanted to live, to see there children grow up etc. One friend whose husband was a GP had four children under the age of nine when she died of BC. She put up a fight, wanted to be there for her kids, but her time ran out, and nomatter how much positive thinking she had she died prematurely. This was the year before I was diagnosed, and a close friend of ours couldn't cope when she discovered I had the dreaded disease too. I was in my late 30's and my kids were 7 and 14. However I appreciate every day now. I know this illness will probablyt kill me but my spirit is good and I love life.I am not religous at all so cannot thank God but I keep taking the tablets and hope that each new regime will keep me going for a bit longer. best wishes from Scottich lass

[Guest user]

I was so ill with chemo I was pulled off of it after 4 doses.
It has NOTHING to do with positivity - you are just lucky to have a metabolism that works in a certain way.

Response to chemo is similar to pregnancy. Some women barely know they are pregnant - others are hospitalised with hyperemesis gravidarum. Are the ones who end up perilously ill and vomiting blood there because they weren't positive enough?

Bully for you if you sailed through chemo - thousands don't. And it has nothing to do with positivity or courage or any of that stuff. It is just sheer luck. I am sick to death of women being made to feel like they are not trying hard enough if they should feel desperately ill during treatment or actually die of this disease.

[Guest user]

Hello Jacq

Oh wouldn't it be wonderful if living with cancer meant nothing other than bringing on a fighting spoirit, wishing the cancer away and bingo...cancer gone.

Nobody's cancer is like that. Cancer is a serious business, a life threatening illness which will kill many of us reading these threads tonight. It will kill me but I can still manage a cheery smile....the smile won't cure my cancer sadly. Myths unfortnately still run amok as people like you claim that nothing more than a fighting spirit will bring the cure you want of breast cancer. What tosh. What uninformed rubbish, and how much your simply wrong assertions about cancer contribute to the slowness in really getting a cure for cancer.

I didn't get sickness on chemotherapy either...thanks to anti emetic drugs, but I don't think this because of my superior outlook to having cancer...its because the drugs helped my particular metabolic reaction reject the sicky components of the drug. (I have had 8 different chmotherapy drugs, and 40 or 50 sessions.)

Your post is extremely unhelpful. Positive thinking may help some people feel better about how they cope with cancer, but it will NOT cure cancer. Its also a pretty meaningless thing to say. Who or what are you supposed to be thinking positive about.?

Jane

[notyetinthebox]

Hi ladies! Just a note from another who also sailed through chemo!

Had 3 FEC and 3 Tax. I told myself at the beginning I was determined that I wasn't going to get ill, and I didn't. So I'm a good case for positive thinking! I seriously believe in it working more than people realise.

Before I started chemo., my oncologist said that I would be very ill with sickness. I told him that I wasn't a 'sicky' person. That's got nothing to do with it, said he - you WILL be sick with these drugs.

Da dah! Didn't get one bit of sickness or nausea, and had no need for the anti-sickness meds either. In fact - with the steroid injections - I couldn't bloody stop eating!

Had a few shivers and shakes with the first dose of Tax, but went to bed - when I could - and slept it off. Had to have one night in hospital with a high temperature, but it turned out to be an ordinary throat virus that had given it to me - nothing to do with the chemo.

So be strong - and fight it! I was initially worried that it wasn't doing its stuff, as I had hardly any side effects, but then I looked in the mirror and noticed my shiny bonce!

Good luck! Prove them wrong!

xxJacqxx

[Guest user]

Hi Karen and Katie,

Just wanted to say that in my experience the anticipation of chemo was far worse than the reality. Everyone is an individual and SE's vary enormously. I was fine throughout it all (3 X FEC 3 X Taxotere), I had a couple of wobbles but I managed to look after my daughter fine. The chemo team will do everything to help make it as easy and straightforward as possible for you, you can do it!

Karen I hope the discomfort goes soon and I would echo Katie's advice to contact your BCN if you're at all worried.

Take care

Veggie

[Guest user]

Hi Karen
sounds very similar to me, big plus (and I have to find a plus!) we can compare notes.. My burning sensation has really calmed down this week so 2 and a bit weeks after re excision you should feel a bit better, don't suffer though - tell your BC nurse if you're worried at all and have pain relief. The "golf ball" feeling under my arm has gone down and whilst I have some puffiness around my back and side my BC nurse seems pleased and expects this to go down soon too. Still have blue nipple but bruises just about gone. I know how bad I felt so sending big but gentle(((hug))), just to say I also felt really weepy after 2nd op on and off.
Re the side effects of chemo- really not looking forward to but my Onc said they will help all they can and that they have made great strides in recent years and that it is possible to work through (not with standing catching bugs from youngsters etc!) I'm going to see if diet can help, will let you know.

All the best take care

love Katie
xxx

[wills1]

Hi Katie

They havent told me what chemo I will be having yet. I suppose they will wait and see what the next lot of results show.After chemo I will have radiotherapy then drugs for 5 years. I really hope they have got it all now as I really dont want another operation. I am in so much discomfort with this 2nd op. I am still getting that awful burning sensation in my armpit so feeling pretty yucky at the moment.
Im dreading chemo when you read about the side effects it sounds like hell on earth. I suppose its a necessary evil. Hope you are keeping well at the moment. Take care. Love Karen xx

[Guest user]

Sorry Karen I had to dash off before! - I have gone back to work, went after 3 days, but it's my shop so I can take it easy and go if I'm too tired. Felt better at work as when I'm at home I tend to think too much... I'm going to work 2 1/2 days from September when I have cover in the shop - thurs pm, fri and sat. I have to have one week in 3 off work because of the chemo (s/e and low blood count etc) will take each day as it comes.

Take it easy over the next few weeks to get your strength up before chemo, do you know what sort you're having yet? and again I agree with veggie, keep exercising but very gently..

take care

katie

[Guest user]

Hi Karen, glad you got through the op ok. I agree with Veggie - waiting is the pitts.

Take care of yourself and make the most of the recovery time between your op and chemo. My surgeon said the same to me about the mx and luckily I had clear margins the 2 nd time so I have everything crossed that you're the same too.

I'm supposed to start chemo next week on Thursday but written conf hasn't arrived yet so I guess it could change. I having E-CMF chemotherapy. Chemo then hormone therapy then radiotherapy then,depending on periods, ovaries out. Onc said expect next 12 months taking up.

[Guest user]

Hey Karen,

Glad you're home and that things went well. Sorry you're having to wait again for results, it's the pits isn't it? Hopefully they've got everything this time.

I would just do a wee bit on the exercise front, just rolling your shoulders round but gently does it, I think it's important to keep things moving.

Take care

Veggie

[wills1]

Hi All
Home agin after another op. Thought I was never going to come round from the anesthetic. Consultant has took a substantial amount of tissue ( his words) to ensure he has the remaining pre cancerous cells, BUT he said should cancer cells still be in the tissue he has removed then its mastectomy! results in 10 days, waiting again. Boob very swollen, looks like a big cut again. Should I leave my exercises for a day or 2 or should I carry on with them? Dont want to undo the good work I had done since previous op. Hope everyone is ok. Karen

Katie
Hope you are keeping well and have recovered from your op now. Have you managed to go back to work yet? I work in a school so fortunatly on the summer hols, but must say this has been the worst summer hols I have had! Not sure when I will be able to go back to work, BCN said whilst I was having chemo they didnt advise me going in to school due to getting infections from the children so have got to sort that one out. Have you had a date for starting chemo? do you have to have radiotherapy as well? Keep smiling, take care of yourself. Love Karen xx

[Guest user]

Hi Karen

just checking in to see if you're ok.
Love to everyone else aswell.

take care

Katie

xxxxx

[Guest user]

Karen, I don't think you'll have a drain this time. They said I might for the first op but wasn't even discussed for the 2nd, it should be avery quick procedure.
I did have that horrible feeling where I couldn't even stand my arm touching material before it started to get better - poor you - but again if it's not improved after tomorrow again ring a BCN.

Please take care, wish I could take the hurt away for you, (((hugs)))

Katie

[Guest user]

Hi Gocat - welcome to the club none of us wanted to join. I think the thing with margins is that some tumours are more compact than others. (I (most of us?) used to think of "breast cancer" as just one thing - wrong!) They have kinda tendrils growing out of them, and some have more than others (if you want nightmares, go to Google Image.) When they take it out they have to have clear margins of 2mm all round to be sure it's clear, which in about 80% of cases they get first time, but sometimes they have to go back in. Sounds bad, but people who've had it all seem to say it isn't nearly so bad the second time.

[Guest user]

Practice varies but most people do not have drains for WLe, though you do for the M-op.

Wishing you lots of luck and the best possible result.

jane x

[wills1]

Hi All

Thank you for your posts. The breast cancer nurse rang me this morning to say my op is next Wednesday on the day surgery ward, I'm pleased because it means I dont have wait and can get it over with. Couple of questions - will I have to have a drain in this time? also all day today in my armpit and the top of my arm has been super sensitive, I cant even bear material against it, I am wearing my husbands tshirt. I realise the nerves are settling down but today has been particularly bad even the pain killers dont seem to take the edge off it. It almost feels like there should be a rash there but there isnt. Any ideas? hope you all have a good weekend and see some sunshine (we live in hope!)

[Guest user]

Hi Gocat

At my hospital (Basingstoke) they book you in for an appointment for results 8 days after surgery, after my re-excision they told me 7 days after. I have spoken with a few people from different areas and they all seem to get results 2 to 3 weeks later so I guess we're very lucky here.

Sorry I'm not clear on "poorly defined margins" ask your BC Nurse, hopefully they gave you a contact number.

The waiting is the worst, I'll be thinking of you and have my fingers crossed the results are good.

Take care

Katie

[gocat]

Sounds like similar waiting times then Kazza.
Good luck with your results.

[Kazzad]

Hi Gocat

Not sure what normal waiting time is, but I had WLE & SNB on 31 July and don't get results until 20 August - so just under three weeks. The waiting is awful - the first week post op was okay as I think I was still under the effects of the anasthetic but this week has not been good. Still less than a week to go now!

Kazzad

[gocat]

Haven't read all this thread but wanted to ask how long you normally have to wait for results after a lumpedectomy. Had lump removed Monday 10th and 4 nodes removed. Been told will get results on 27th August. Seems a long time to wait. Looks like some of you got your results much earlier.
Also when I was in the breast clinic pre-op having ultrasound so could be marked so the surgeon knew where to op I noticed someone had put on my notes lump found with "poorly defined margins". What does that mean. Was too scared to ask at the time.

[Guest user]

Hey Karen,

Sorry you've not had the news you want but it's fantastic that there's no involvement anywhere else. I know it's frustrating having a delay in your chemo but you will get there.

Take care

Veggie

[Guest user]

Hi Karen keep your chin up,and I know its hard at times,I remember being very negative and if it wasnt for my OH and family I dont know what I would have done.

I wish I had found this site at the start of treatment as everyone is so supportive,kind and understanding.
I am now 2 years since dx and still use this site and feel I have made some new friends even though I have never met anyone.

You will be fine and Take each day at a time.

Love and Hugs

Jackie xx

[Guest user]

Hello Ladies

Bummer Karen! But I'm really pleased no further lymph node involvment or spread. Hopefully the operation will be soon. If you don't get a date in the next couple of days I would ring and ask/chase them. Don't worry by yourself, we're here and know just where you're coming from.

I was really peed off that I had to go back and was more spaced out after the re-excision for a day but general recovery was a lot faster. Less than a week and 1/2 on and my scar has rehealed and isn't bad at all. I went in to work Fri and Sat after the Tuesday op, probably a bit early as I was tired at the end of the day but my head was happier being distracted! ( I'm self employed so it's my "baby").

The Surgeon reopened the previous scar by just under a cm (going by what it looked like and they had said it would be tiny this time)to remove the extra tissue. No stitches were used or glue just had the dressing on. I think the op was only 10/15 minutes. Try not to worry Karen (ha, ha - easier said hey!)

I know what you mean about the delay in chemo, don't want it but lets not mess about and get it done now! Do like me and try and take advantage of the delay, eat well to build up your immune system and exercise for endorphines and strength - not sure if the chinese and 1/2 bottle of wine with walk round the shops that I did yesterday covers this but hey it was happy therapy!

Susanne - men! LOL, love them..

Lovelife - have a lovely holiday, let us know how you get on when you get back.

Take care all of you

Katie

[Guest user]

Oh bugger Karen, but the positives are no spread elsewhere and no lymph node involement and hey another op you will handle, you sound a lot calmer in your posts than at the start of all this. Delaying chemo is a bum because at least with chemo you feel you are 'getting treatment' in an odd way but make the most of the pre chemo time to get yourself healed and get your body stronger

sending you a BIG hug

Rhian xx

[Guest user]

What a crock, Karen. I know what you mean about delaying the chemo - I was in a dead panic in case anything interfered with my start date. On the Big Day, OH was driving me, and we stopped off at the local shopping centre so I could pop into Boots to get a thermometer. I came out - and he'd vanished! I was racing up and down the car park like a lunatic - didn't have a watch, which made it worse. Suddenly there he was, calm as you like - had gone to get the paper (which we could have got at the hospital anyway!) Sometimes...!

[wills1]

Hi all

Another op for me! Results showed pre cancerous cells still in breast so consultant wants to remove further tissue. No spread elsewhere in the body and no further lymph node involement. Grade 3 aggresive. They are going to send me the date for my op so not sure when it will be, sooner rather than later I hope. Disapointed I have to have another op as it means delaying the start of chemo (not that I want it). Hope everyone is ok and coping with whatever process you are going through.
Take care. Karen xx

[Guest user]

Hi all,

All the very best for today Karen, will be thinking of you.

Lovelife, totally understand your thinking about the chemo, that's what I told myself as well and it helps. It is a friend not an enemy and it is do-able, for every side effect there is usually a solution.

Take care

Veggie

[Guest user]

Hi,
My sympathies! I am 65 now and 7 weeks ago found a lump the size of an egg in my left armpit. They thought it was Lymphoma but after a dissection it apparantly is secondary cancer and they can't find the primary! All tests were clear but have just had a breast MRI, bone scan and am having a vaginal ultrasound scan on Frid.
So....do understand how you feel!!!! Am going on holiday for two weeks on Sat and then will return to final results, chemo and then total removal of lymph nodes on 6 months.
It is a frightening prospect but I am trying to look apon the chemo as a friend who will make me well at the moment. Realise though that is easy to say at the moment whilst feeling well.
Let me know how you get on please.
Good luck and chin up

[wills1]

Thank you Rhian. I tend to do stretching arm movements throughout the day as my arm tends to seize up. I then find it hard to raise my arm above my head. I was out yesterday with my husband just generally looking around the shops. I kept stretching my arm above my head as I could feel the tightness coming back. The amount of strange looks I received Im not sure if people thought I was waving at them or I was just a bit weird! Keep fingers crossed for me for tomorrow, really dont want another operation. Take care. Karen xx

[Guest user]

Katie - no worries re name, been called worse ha ha , make the most of the next 4 weeks relax, eat healthy food and prepare your bod for the chemo etc. one chunk of the journey over and remember keep smiling...........if only because it confuses people :0)xx

Karen , you keep smiling too you hear me ,I will be thinking of you tomorrow. the tightening goes on for a while, don't forget your body is healing and tissue mending, keep doing those exercises, little and often more important than one big session once a day. I had my boob reduction 3 weeks ago and my scar is still healing and sore and that was just taking away healthy tissue (the path lab results came through on the tissue they sent after doing it because i had two lumps in there just cyst but they thought it best to check and thats come back ok woop woop)

rhian xx

[wills1]

Hi Katie

So pleased that you dont have to go through any more surgery. Hoping for the same result myself. Will let you know.

Take care
Karen xx

[Guest user]

sorry about name spellings Rhian and Susanne - brain still not working, over tired but can't sleep all night and keep waking at 4.30

Katie

xx

[Guest user]

Hi Karen

I got my results and this time my margins were clear so no need to go back for MX- hurray! HER2 negative. Signs of lymphovascular invasion. Definately chemo and then radiotherapy but I have a 4 week break, (Oncologist will confirm tuesday with details of what chemo and %s), for my body to get over the recent ops. I am still a bit swollen under my arm and have newly bruised boob but as long as I don't touch my arm the burning feeling is not there so I guess must be getting better. I have my fingers crossed for you for tomorrow.

Rhianne I've taken up Suzanna's suggestion too and squeeze with my arm in the air, thanks Suzanna I think it's helped.

Take care

Katie

[wills1]

Hi Katie

How did the results go on Tuesday, hope everything was ok. I go for mine tomorrow (13th) so Im hoping they will be ok. Had to see the breast cancer nurse yesterday as I had a build up of fluid from my op,had it removed, felt better after that. Have still got a tight feeling all down my arm and feel a bit battered in that area. Any idea how long this will continue? I am doing my exercises 3 times a day and keep stretching my arm above my head (or try to!). Take care. karen xx