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mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

ostrich
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Oh Lainey, poor you, xxx

As Dot says you will heal you must just take it easy. So sorry things keep going wrong for you. Have they got the infection under control now? Just try to roll with it. The Manuka Honey is really good for keeping your immune system up and helping to fight infection - the higher the grade (eg +25)the better. Protein is also a good immunity food as are green things like spinach and so are nuts and pulses.

I don't know if this will make you feel better or worse but my hole is now the size of your baby fingernail so hopefully in 2 weeks it should be healed! Not quite the birthday bath but hopefully a Mother's Day bath!

Just a brief visit from me, had large party on Friday night for my birthday which is on Weds coming, out for dinner for another friend's birthday last night and first day back at work today so am a bit pooped.

Love to you both and healing hugs to you Lainey, xxx

dotchas
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Oh Lainey,its so nice to hear from you.I was getting so worried!
Sorry to hear about another infection,you must be totally scunnered with it all.You must be exhausted too.Get lots of rest and you will heal eventually.The human body is really amazing (But i guess you don't think yours is amazing at the moment!)
We are all rooting for you here ,feel free to rant and moan and cry.
Love n hugs
Dot

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi ladies im so fed up, i spent the full weekend in hospital again due to another infection. i want this over with now
love lainey xx

dotchas
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Oh Lainey,HUGE HEALING HUGS for you (very gentle ones)
((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))
I feel so much for you as you have come so far for things to go so wrong now.You must be devastated and so down.That is understandable so don't be hard on yourself.Remember you WILL heal its just going to take you a bit longer than expected.Its not quite the same but one part of my wound looked really gross for ages and took ages to heal but now it looks the same as the rest of the scar.The human body is amazing so try and trust your body to heal.
Have you tried Ostrichs Magic Manuka Honey? Its worth a bash to aid the healing process.
Get lots of rest and get everyone running after you.You will soon be an expert on daytime telly!!!
Feel free to have a moan on here,we are here for you,
Lots of love and hugs,
Dot
xxxx

ostrich
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Oh Lainey,

Big gentle hugs (((((((((())))))))))))

So sorry to hear that you are having these complications.

The seroma will settle although its an odd feeling I remember when my back kept filling up - you feel like you'll pop.

Re your abcesses - I truly hope and pray that they settle and that you are left with good boobs. Whilst I didn't have abcesses I can empathise with feeling piffed off re complications - my back still isn't healed and it will be 6 months on the 22nd this month (hoping it will be healed by then though as its nearly done) and my boob is lumpy in places and saggy in others.

Once things settle any tweaks that need doing can be done so they should end up making you look and feel good its just a long road honey and pretty cr*p to have to have more surgery. I want my boob sorted but given the complications with the last op can't say I am rushing for it.

97% success? Maybe its just the ones who it didn't work so well for that post on here but quite a large number seem to have complications and end up unhappy. Makes you think - why? I told my surgeon that I wanted a better cosmetic result because if the boob is going to be useless as a sexual object then I darn well want it to look good, I can't help feeling that if I had thousands to pay for a hollywood boob job I'd have been happier with the outcome. Cynical me.

Try to take each day as it comes. It will get you down but you will heal and adjust to the new you.

Feel free to moan, rage etc. Thats what we are here for (as you were for me).

xxxxxx

lisaf
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Your poor thing, sounds sooooo painful for your and so unfair that you are in the small minority. Take care and fingers crossed it stops doing what its doing fast!!! xx

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi ladies thought i would post an update... at hosp on mon i was told nurses would come in wed and fri to change dressings and to leave my tummy wound without bandages... nurse came in yesterday and said their is an infection in my stomach also i have seroma in tummy and breasts are leaking too much poison to dress every 2 days.. so she is calling in daily,dressed my tummy...my liver results from fri came back elavated still they wont reduce for some reason so more tests on 19th march... breasts are much the same and to be honest im truly fed up with it all, my genetics doctor yesterday said in 15 years she has never seen anything like it, its getting me quite down to be honest as i thought 1 major op and i would be ok .. now i look down and hate what i have no-one wants to see blood and poison seeping from breasts.. again sorry for moaning ladies but it's how i feel .. the thing is that type of op has a 97% success rate im in the 3% complication range...

hope you's are well

love lainey xx

lisaf
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Lainey, hope you are doing okay, and not in too much pain and thngs improving xxx

dotchas
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Lainey,
I hope everything goes OK today,my fingers are crossed!
Hugs,
Dot
x

lisaf
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Lainey, so sorry about your extra op and hope it doestnt change what youve got. Hope Monday is okay. Its a set back but hopefully will all turn out fine xx

ostrich
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Oh Lainey, poor you! I really hope that you heal fast and that your boobs end up looking as good as they did before this set back. Eat lots of protein for healing and try eating manuka honey as it will keep your immune system in tip top condition to fight off any infections.

Fingers crossed that Monday brings good news re your wounds. Take it very easy on yourself and rest lots to give your body strength to fight.

Big gentle hugs (((((((((((((()))))))))))))))

Ostrich, x

dotchas
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Oh Lainey,I am so sorry to hear that! And we all told you after the op would be easier than before! What a nightmare for you it must be so scarey!
I will keep my fingers crossed that you heal up soon,you can always compare wounds with ostrich.
Take it easy,let us know how you get on,
Hugs (gentle ones)
((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))
Dot
x

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

hi ladies, i went for check yesterday and ended up being admitted again and underwent a 3 hr op yest. i have an abcess in each breast eating the tissue,huge chunks of tissue has been cut out. i have a gaping wound in each breast.. nurses in over weekend then hosp on mon. 2 more antibiotics added to pill list.. oh dear onwards and upwards.. hope yous are well

love lainey xx

lisaf
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

sorry to but in again, lainey, tramadol make you feel woozy at first but soon get used to them, I had them after masectomy and love them for easing a bit of pain - hope it works soon xx

dotchas
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Lainey,sorry to hear you are needing such strong painkillers.But take all you are given to keep the pain at bay.There are no prizes for being brave where pain is concerned.
If you are not sleeping your Gp will give you something at least on a temp basis.Sleep is so important when healing,physically and mentally)
Take it easy,
Hugs,
Dot
xxx

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

dot thats understandable as i think we set little goals to and aware at one point life will get back to normal then it all seems delayed. you are right to feel annoyed and i know he removed your cancer but he still needs to ensure he is also helping you get back to normal.my birthday is 30th june and that is a bit away.your right we all need a hug right now.i called hospital today to see what pain relief i can buy on top of what i have and they said to see gp as nothing over the counter will touch it.so gp left a prescription for hubby to collect for tramadole (not sure spelling is right) they are so strong im so drowsy which is good as i have hardly slept since home...

hang on in there lovely ladies we will get there xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

dotchas
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Girls,

It sounds like we all need a big hug,
((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))
Ostrich,I am sorry you are emotionally "fragile" I know all about that!
You have reached the end of treatment and it is one of the triggers for depression.I also understand about only being able to cope with things a step at a time.I DO think its too soon for you to go back to work,especially in your job.Do you get a phased return ,light duties etc?
As for your OH ,maybe he is trying to deal with it by not accepting theres still a problem.As Lainey says people think after the op etc we should be back to normal (whatever the h*ll that is)
Lainey,hope you are doing OK ,sorry to hear about your Dads Partner,it must be very hard on you at the moment.

I had an appt today to discuss a new nipple and getting my back scar sorted (or so I thought!)
I was prodded poked and pummelled then he says "well I will see you again in 6 months!"
I said but you said I could have it done at 6 months and I am now 7 months down the line.He said it still needs time to settle!!!!
I burst into tears and said you keep moving the goalposts.He said he'd get me an appt with a PS .The next available appt was 30 June!!!! ( The 1 year anniversary of my diagnosis)
So I am gutted,I am beginning to feel like I should be grateful that he took away my cancer and not moan about plum sized lumps on my back and a missing nipple.:(
He knows I have been seeing a pyschologist for depression and misleading me is not going to help is it?
I know its not life threatening or anything but it was another step forward in this cancer journey.It just now further away again.I am bitterly disappointed.
Hugs to all
(((((((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))
Dot
xxx

ostrich
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Thanks Lainey,

I don't think its cos he is scared. He didn't know about the lump until I told him and there was no emotional reaction whatsoever. He's never been able to hug me and just listen as a friend so that confirms its not because he is scared. Graeme sounds nice and seemed like a caring bloke in his emails about you.

So sorry to hear about your Dad's partner, (((()))

I can't face getting the lump looked at because I'll either feel a plank if its nothing or have to face dying if it isn't. I am not up for either right now. I need/want to get the last 6 months behind me first - ie have my back healed, go back to work. Sounds silly I know but I couldn't bear to have my plans for the next few months thrown out the window and have to face cancer again right now. I'm going to wait until I see the Oncologist in May. If it does get bigger I will go back sooner but I am sure its just me being scared of everything right now.

Hope everything goes well with your appointments, let us know how you get on.

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

ostrich i dont understand that attitude thankfully as graeme is not like that..is it though that he is so terrified also? i think men try and hold it together to be the strong one and at times can end up vey clinical.. here is an example my dad's partner of 10years has months to live due to cancer spreading everywhere she is 42 what does dad do sit on the phone or internet to friends 80% of the time. now he loves her to pieces but is so scared and terrified of failing as he cant take it away.i also have dents in boobs but will see if i want them altered i know thats not the same as what you and dot have described but there is so much that can be done now. thankfully surgeons accept body image is massive and will normally do whats needed to give back a lady her confidence.you really need that other lump looked at though. it must be terrifying i know but think if it was one of us ladies on here you would tell us to get it checked out.work may not be a bad thing but as long as its at your pace and see how you feel.i dont have my appt yet for pathology mr hart will see me on thurs to look at wounds then i have gp on fri for liver tests then i see mr hart again in 2 weeks im sure it wont be long after that. they said if cancerous cells were found i would need an op in both armpits but if a tumour was found it would be rads or chemo needed. fingers crossed all is clear. i do worry about that.

ostrich we will always be here for you

lots of love and hugs lainey xx

ostrich
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Ladies,

Glad to hear you are taking a good break from work Lainey. Hope your tests on Friday are nothing to worry about. Do you have an appt re the pathology on your breast tissue?

I fainted two days after my op too but that was due to my blood pressure hitting the floor after trying to go for a poo!

Dot, I hope your boob appt goes well and they arrange to sort out the bits. I too am not happy with my new boob. Its shrunk considerably since the op and is now noticeably smaller than my droopy one,even in a bra. I too have a dent and lumpiness on the side of my boob from the drain. I also have a floppy bit at the bottom which they say they can sort with a bigger implant however the thought of more surgery scares me given how long my back has taken.

Re rushing back to work I have had two minor panicks when thinking about it recently. Once on the way to the station just to do some paperwork and yesterday when told I can go and do my PPE requalification tomorrow (thats where I have to show that I can still cuff and hit with my asp to their satisfaction and has to be done every year). My heart and pit of my stomach did a major flip both times.

What with that and my back and I have been getting myself into a stew about a lump under my arm, (which I think is probably just scar tissue from the lymph node removal but in my paranoia I think its growing) I am a bit of an emotional mess.

I am still going to go for it re work though cos I think if I cancel returning on the 8th I may never go back.

Tried to get some support from my husband last night and in a snivelly mess of tears told him how scared I was by it all and that I was too scared to get the lump checked (in case it is something bad) and got an unemotional response full of practicalities and "maybe I was dreaming it up because I didn't want to go back to work" and "if you want sympathy go and talk to your friends on the internet".

I have realised that in 15 years he has never been able to give me emotional support in the way that I need it. Why is it men only want to deal with the practicalities and rush your emotions out of the way as quick as possible?

xxx

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

dot the problem is a lot of people cant see beyond a lump or operation. they think after an op everything will be as was before. you need to give yourself time tell you what next time she says that tell her you can slap her for asking all the time lol her face would soon change then.i cried yesterday as i think i was scared that something went wrong and no nurses here to help. no tears today though (yet)..i possibly needed that time in hospital as i had soooooo much time to think and decided im taking no-one's rubbish as im fed up holding my tongue when im not happy.. as we all know ladies life is too short and snatched away in an instant we need to look after ourselves xx

dotchas
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Lainey,I hope you are well and getting lots of rest! I was bit weepy when I got home and that is to be expected ,you have been through so much.I hope the bruising etc settles down soon on your new pert little boobs! At least yours are a pair ,I have one perky and one droopy!
And I have only one nipple so have the lopsided nipple look in the freezer section in Tescos! Even when I get a new one made ,it will be "chilly" all the time even in hot weather.Still I have a pair of boobs ,albeit a bit wonky but I still have a cleavage!
I bet you will feel lighter with the new boobs ,bit drastic way to lose weight though.
I have appt tomorrow to discuss nips and tucks and my new nipple.I am so worked up that they won't sort the wee bits that I am not happy about.I have a swelling at the arm end of my back scar about the size of a plum and it drives me nuts as it just where my bra strap goes round so the strap ends up sitting wrinkled above the lump.I also have a kinda dent in my new boob so ideally I need the back lump removed and stuffed into my boob but I guess it doesn't work like that!LOL!
Ostrich,sorry the backs misbehaving,maybe it liked being on chemo!
Don't go rushing back to work if its not healed as it will only delay things.I am still struggling a bit at work,I feel alien,and my memory is sh*t.I am taking everything personally and hate comments about me being on light duties etc.One girl just keeps asking "so what can you do now?" I have my first full day on Wednesday (thankfully I have Thursday off to recover)
Hugs,(((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Dot
xxxx

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

ostrich i got home yesterday thank goodness, that was debateable as i fainted last wed and hit the floor. it was caused by a uti, i also have increased liver levels so need tests on fri at doc. maybe due to all the anestetic( sorry about spelling) as im practically t- total. im so glad thats chemo finished. there is so much you can do though if the breast breaks down. enjoy the next few weeks work free. work will wait on my return when im 100% better xx

lisa mine was done at glasgow royal infirmary by mr hart ( thank goodness) as soon as the loose the swelling and bruising i will send you pics. xx

lisaf
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Lainey, glad you are happy with them, perfect size c sounds fab and would love to see pics if you didnt mind.

Awaiting consultation with Plastic Surgeon as both my nurse and Breast Surgeon told me last week that it wasnt possible to use tummy fat more than once so could only use one side to to this. Ive already had masectomy on right side and because of gene want it other side so with see what plastics say, at least I can say it is possible as a few people on here had it done! Bet it's really sore, hope you are back standing upright soon, ooouuucchh, not sure if I am brave enought to do it!! Can I ask where you had it done at?

Have a fab time at M&S bra shopping in normal sizes!!
x

ostrich
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Lainey,

So good to hear from you! Thanks to Mr Lainey for letting us know how you were!

Are you still in the hossy?

Glad to hear you survived (literally) and are happy with your new boobs and nipples!

Please please take it easy so that you and the boobs recover so that you end up happy in yourself and with your boobs.

Don't let yourself be pressured into going back to work, let Mr Lainey and kids take care of you.

I have had my last chemo!!!! Hooray! Back still not healed and looks like it is breaking down a bit. :-(. Am going back to work on the 8th March - eeek!!

xxxxx

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

lisa, i was a 36jj and went to a 36c cant believe how small my bras look. i was told also skin was being used from my tummy but they changed there mind last minute. however i think if you use tummy skin there is less chance of the skin dying. if you wish when mine have calmed down i will e-mail you a pic. i admit its nice to be a perfect size c.i wear sports bra for another 3 weeks then im off to get measured in m&s for some lovely underwear ( if i can walk better). lisa it is very painful but it is worth it. cant believe im saying that..when do u see your surgeon ? xx

ostrich- i hope you are well have you had your last chemo? xx

dot i know im looking forward to being me again and cant wait for the hrt to start. hope you are well. how is work going? xx

jenny, 2 words your right the fear b4 is so much worse than after its over. thank goodness thats me. have you completed your rads? xx

lisaf
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

God, lainey it sounds sooooo scary. Glad you are 80% happy so far think how good they will look when all brusing gone. Sounds like you had a fab surgeon, very scary!!!

Hope you recover fast and the pain eases.

My surgeon told me it wasnt possible to do both sides with my tummy so waiting to see plastic surgeon as he said skin sparing wouldnt work as im wanting to go smaller and can only do one side but think I need to look into it further.

Take care with the recovery and take it easy
xxx

dotchas
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Lainey,
Sooooo good to hear from you ,glad to hear you are OK ,sorry it was a scarey ride (for your surgeon anyway as you didn't know at the time!)
Just take it easy,let everyone look after you,relax and enjoy the fact the big op is over now.Your nasty genes are in the bin! LOL,
Take care,
Love n hugs
Dot
xxxx

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

hi ladies well thank the lord im alive. seriously mr surgeon said a 2nd surgeon cut a massive vessel the one being used to connect new breast. causing me to have a transfusion in theatre. he told hubby a few days later he nearly lost me. 1 surgeon believed that was it but the amazing mr hart kept it together and im here.

anyway new boobs i cant yet say they are great as they are still bruised and blistered and swollen but im about 80% happy with them apparently they will look even better. i had skin sparing op so i have scars from my nipples down and the whole breast cup is stiched. he used my skin to make nipples but said if i wasnt happy they will come off.. no way thet look great they stick out but not too much.. im in terrible pain cant walk to well and am very sore up top. however came out so much lighter than i went in even after all the chocs,mcdonalds i ate. i have a very flat tummy indeed. overall ladies im good. just need to relax and recover..hope yous are all well

ostrich
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Dot,

Know what you mean re OH, its the same for me and worse now as two kids home on half term, one with a birthday yesterday!

Take it easy on yourself re fitting back in at work, you will honey. Re the holiday you just need to plan another one now to keep you looking forward!

Haven't heard anymore from Lainey's husband since the last post but will let you know as soon as I hear.

Haven't had bath yet, wound is about the size of a penny and almost like when you fall and graze a knee so shouldn't be long - hopefully about 2 weeks. Don't worry - you'll hear the splash from there so you'll know when I'm in!!

Must go as pooped from 11 year old's swimming/cinema/sleepover yesterday and last night and family visiting for cakes today!

xxx

dotchas
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Girls,

Sorry I haven't been on much ,don't get much chance when OH is around!

Well the holiday seems a distant memory now.I have done 2 mornings at work so far and its going OK.I just don't feel like I belong there anymore.I suppose it will just take time.

Lainey ,I hope you are home or will be soon,I hope you are coping OK,just take it one day at a time and don't be hard on yourself.You have had major surgery so rest loads!

Jenny,hope you are OK too,I would be p*ssed off with those birthday pressies too!

Ostrich,great news that you have had last chemo! Have you managed a bath yet!

Hugs,
Dot
xxx

ostrich
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Will do Lisa, thanks, x

lisaf
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

hi, hope you dont mind me popping in but was posting to lainey few time over ovaries stuff and recon. pass on all my best to her and hope her rocovering is fast xxx

ostrich
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Ladies, here's the latest email from Lainey's husband - Graeme

"Hi all, sorry I've not been on but my head has been up my ass.
Lorraine has been doing AMAZING,she is in a hell of a lot of pain but
still smiling.The physio was really surprised that she could do all her
excersises and more-oh and the best bit her op has been a great success
so far.over the next couple of 3 or 4 day's are crusual for the blood
supply to stay strong but alls well just now (touch wood).
When i went in this evening Lorraine showed me her scar on her new flat
tummy which she is chuffed about AND her new breasts which we both agree
look AMAZING.I am so proud of her i cant put it into words. Going to
take kids in tomorrow and Lorraine cant wait to see them. I'll try and
keep you up to date as much as possible but i must get these bathroom
floor tyles done for Lorraine coming out,(or i'm in the sh*t).
speak to you's soon
Graeme"

I have emailed back again with our best wishes and to tell her to take it easy and allow herself to be taken care of.

Dot, its good to have you back and to hear that you have had a fab time on holiday and got some sun on wonky boobs! Good to hear that you are relaxed as well. Its been a tough old run and a holiday is just what you needed!

I have finished my chemo now (last one was Tuesday!) - hooray! Haven't been on much as have been hit hard by this one and was completely pooped and chemo headed for the last few days but coming out the other side now - never to return! I am going back to work 3 weeks tomorrow - eek! So now have to focus on getting strong from the chemo and working out what on earth to wear on my head!

Happy Valentines, hope we all, Dot, Lainey and Jenny have a good day.

Jenny, how you doing?

xxx

dotchas
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Again,

Back now in sunny Scotland,or rather snowy Scotland!

What a nightmare before we left ,I couldn't get on here for love nor money.It kept saying my password was wrong but when I requested a new one it never arrived.I even tried reregistering but that didn't work either.I so wanted to wish lainey luck so popped into an internet cafe on my hols.
We had a wonderful time,so relaxing.I even managed to feel confident in my strappy secret support tops (no bra) and my tankinis/bikinis.To be honest my wonky boobs are in better shape than the rest of me ! LOL!

Mr Lainey,please tell her we are all thinking of her and are so pleased that she is through the op safely and able to smile.She is very brave and we look forward to hearing her tales when she gets home.

ostrich,hope you are OK,

Love,
Dot
xxx

ostrich
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Ladies, just had an email from Lainey's husband so wanted to share it with you, seems she is doing well!

Hi ladies, just got back from hospital and lorraine is doing AMAZING. She
is propped up in bed with that GORGEOUS smile of hers,laughing and talking
away quite the thing. She even managed to sneak out and call the kids just
before they went to bed, which cheered them up no end.
I'll let you all know how she is doing as soon as i possibly can.(as
i've been ordered to do so).

P.S.
THANKS for all your help and support you've been brilliant xx

ostrich
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Lainey, I know you were going into hossy today for op tomorrow so sorry I didn't get on yesterday, was feeling rough from chemo. Will be thinking of you and will pass on to the girls how you are doing, love and massive hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx(((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jenny - how did the birthday go in the end?

Dot - hope you are enjoying the sunshine, x

Jennyg
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Lainey ... thinking about you lots ... hang in there - please feel free to email me if you want to - or email me your phone number and I'll call you xxx

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

hi dot, thats so nice of you taking the time to wish me well. i must admit i have never been so scared. i hope you are having a lovely time abroad while we are getting awful snow here. you are so lucky. cant wait till im home recovering. hubby will e-mail ostrich with an update and hopefully she can let you know im ok..
lots of love and hugs lainey xx

dotchas
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Girls!

I am sorry I havent been on but coud not get into new site!
Eventually got new password but it was too late for my holidays so I am in internet cafe!
Want to wish Lainey all the luck in the world for Thursday! Keep your chin up ,it will soon be over .Remember afterwards will be easier than now.You are in a living nightmare just now.
Will be thinkng of you
Hugs to all,
Dot
xxx
PS this keyboard is a nightmare
xx

ostrich
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Jenny,

Happy Birthday and hugs for your tears ((((((((())))))))))))

I truly feel for what you are saying. You are bound to reflect at times like your birthday - where I am, who I am, where am I going etc - and with the disappointment of your pressies (I would be disappointed too!) and the worries over your job and loneliness you are understandably upset.

You have been through a heck of a lot in the last 6 months and its hard to look forward when BC has made you stop and take stock.

You are so gorgeous that I would be astonished if you are on your own for long. It must be hard watching other people attend appointments with their partners etc - I felt the same when I went for my 5th chemo on my own. That said partners can be more trouble than they are worth (I have many a time felt angry at my husband for carrying on as if nothing was happening and not attending appointments with me because he has to work or is away on a course).

I hope that your friends buy you some lovely pressies and that you have a fab night tonight - who knows - you may meet a wonderful man.

Sending you my love, xxxxx Ostrich

Jennyg
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Girls
Its my birthday today.... and I am in the middle of the rad - finding it all fine so far - its the hour round trip that bores the sheer hell out of me.
So here I am at home... due to go out ofr dinner with friends later ... and Im sat at my pc SOBBING...
what sparked this off ? well this will sound silly, probably... my mum and dad have just been over to pick up daughter for the night so I can go out and brought me birthday presents.... but the presents were; a jigsaw puzzel, highlighter pens, biros, stick it notes, chocs and an argos voucher ( which I said might be a good idea!) I just feel... well.. I dont mean to be ungratefull .. and Im crying because I feel so guilty for feeling disappointed... its like they dont know me at all. Do you know what I mean? They dont seem to know me - and dont seem to know what I would like... Id like things from Next , perfumes, cd's,makeup, scented candles, funky keyrings, cute socks.. etc etc. conversation is stilted... oh! I dont know. I think its a very reflective birthday for me. I havent had a proper boyfiend for god knows how long - because.. ?? I dont know! probably because I never go out and meet new people... and when I go for the rads all the women are sat there with partners supporting them... and Im trecking back and forth on my own - rushing back to get in for work ( only to be told last week that the company I work for are going to make half the workforxe redundant in 3 months and which almost definately include me... which will REALLY be a nightmare)
I miss having a loving partner... I hate not knowing if I will have a good job in three months.. I DONT need highlighter pens... and Im 39 and the only good thing in my life is my little girl... sorry - just need to offload this into the ether!!!

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

hi sands thats so amazing to know as my work are causing me terrible stress at a very stressful time. i cant win with them. my op is less than 2 weeks away ii dont have cancer but faulty brca2 so having bi lateral preventative mastectomy. my work cant accept im having the op when i dont have cancer and to say i have been the laughing stock for my manager is an under statement. i could write a book about all the jokes i have had aimed at me. maybe 1 day i will. xxx

ostrich thats exactly how i feel im so scared i cant put it into words. how are you? xxx

jenny are you ok?xxx

welcome moocow how are you?xxx

ostrich
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Lainey and welcome to Sands and Moocow.

Nice to hear from you Lainey, better out than in with the tears (not good for the eyes/face I know but good for the soul). Bet you are looking forward to being able to stop work next week but also bet you are dreading all the thinking.

I am here if you need me.

Sands, most of us on this thread are post surgery but Lainey is due very soon. I am sure she wont mind me telling you, and its in pink and white on the thread, that she is having a horrid time with her employers so you could be a useful person to know!

Moocow, are you waiting for surgery?

Take care,

Hope Jenny is okay and Dot is enjoying her hols, xxx

Sands
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi all! Am new to thread. Had my mastecotmy in nov 2007...finished chemo april 2008...started new job august 2008. Piece of cake!!! :)))) still have a few times when i get very tired etc but am coping ok. stay strong all of you that have ops on the horizon. i didn't even have a partner for support - having lost him 5 years ago. Very suddenly! Have good friends but it's never the same. He was my soul mate! Lesson is...stay positive & take all the help you can get. Ask lots of questions of the health professionals - write them down when you think of them. as for the person whose employer is being a pain...sounds very unreasonable. i'm a human resource consultant.let me know if you need any advice. hugs all round!! Sands xx

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

hi sweetheart im fine thanks how about you? FINE ha ha what i mean is coping just. op date is so close i cant believe,crying loads but hey thats normal.working a lot this week to get next week off xxx

hi moocow its nice to see a new name on this old thread how are you? xx

moocow
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

anyone out there to talk too

ostrich
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hello! Anyone out there?

Lainey, you ok?

Dot, assuming you are on hols.

Jenny, hows rads going?

ostrich
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Jenny - wow! Is that you on you avatar? You look fab! Are you ok?

I can't decide if I'm the one doing the poking or being poked on my avtar! LOL!

ostrich
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Ladies,

Gosh this new site is hard to navigate!

Like your avatar Lainey!

Dot, hope you have a lovely time away and that you can find us when you get back!

Lainey, hugs, haven't looked at my emails much this arvo but will later or tomo, xx