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mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

731 REPLIES 731
moorcow
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

well done you - i am just three years on but fighting fit too...inshallah!

Jennyg
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

nearly 5 years on ... still here... still fighting fit! 🙂 

Jennyg
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Its all done now. Had my final tattoo on Tuesday - and was discharged from their care afterwards.
So I hope my post and all the ladies that added to it over the last few years has given some hope - I am at the end of my long tunnel and out the other side into the sunshine.
I'm down to one mastectomy a year now too.
So no longer terrified and no longer 38... I'm 40 and fighting fit again!!
Thank you to all my lovely friends I made via this site - which at times was an utter godsend.
Be strong - I never thought I'd get through it and yet here I am a few years later and all is well.
Love & best wishes for a happy Christmas
Jenny xx

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Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Jenny and Dot - thank you - so much - for your positive posts. I am right at the beginning, had mx on Friday, so sitting at home gingerly trying not to pull my stitches!! Hearing the 'end in sight' stories is so encouraging and inspiring - it's sometimes too easy to lose sight of the future and get caught up in the uncertainty of the here and now - but we all need to remember that there is hope, and pray that, please god, ALL the women on this site will be in your position a couple of years down the line.

xxxxxxxxxxx Sophie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

dotchas
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hey Jenny ,nice to hear from you!
I too am a bit further along,I have just had my nipple done (origami style)and some fat transfer to fill in the bit above my implant on Thursday.
Next step is the tattoo.Hopefully that will be the end of a long journey.
You are so right in that BC changes us,hopefully for the better.I certainly feel I'm a better healthcare professional for it!
I am not sure how I would have managed without this site and those I have met through this site.Some sadly no longer with us.
Thanks to everyone on here (inc Jenny) who has provided support,a shoulder to cry on and also some good laughs.
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.........I am lucky

Dot
xxx

Jennyg
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

and so we come to the end of my long journey - am pleased to report it's a happy ending .... the nipple was tattooed on Wednesday and I am now looking not TOO different to 2 and a bit years ago. Of course I have changed as a person - it knocks the stuffing out of you... but I am alive, I have survived and I got through it.
Life for me will re-start in 2011.

I wish every one on here a happy ending. Far too many of those I have chatted to on here and via face book have been lost to this horrible cancer over the past few years and I count myself extremely lucky.

This site provided me with vital support when I was at my lowest and I hope some find my post and get some comfort and help from it as I did from others when I was diagnosed.

Jenny xxx

Jennyg
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

now waiting for nippled to be tattooed... its a long journey isnt it

dotchas
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Jenny,How are you,hope everything is going well?
I will have a look at your blog.
Off to work now,last day till after Easter.
Love n hugs
Dot
xxx

Jennyg
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

deleted - was going to write a blog , but couldnt figure it out!!!

Jennyg
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

just been watching the news re Cumbrian floods - what an utter nightmare it must be for everyone. Was your house OK ? are you getting help ?

Well i now have my rescheduled date for recon - 15th Feb ! still got the cold, so am quite glad they didnt operate as I would be feeling really rough!

glad you are all ok. Hope Ostrich is alright - will check in from time to time and see how you are all doing

take care xxxx

lisaf
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

hiya all, nice to see you all back posting, hope you as well as can be. Im okay here not much further forward with recon options but looking likely to be tummy option (ouch) but cant meet consultnat now unitl 5th January then waiting lists - long process with a couple of ops.

Glad everyone doing as well as can be and all safe, Im back on line today as unfortnately i like in the lovely flooded out Cumbria.

Take care xxx

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Ladies,

it was nice to see you's back on the forum. i check in sometimes to see how everyone is and was delighted your back however it has been a long haul for you and i do feel for you. how is your daughter and work?xx

dot you know you are in my thoughts as i e-mail you from time to time however it's few and far between due to 1 thing or another. i pray this nightmare all ends very soon for you. you have totally been through the mill.take lots of rest and look after yourself.xx

jenny ostrich is doing ok as i still contact her now and again. hopefully she will join us soon..

lisa how are you? whats been happening with you? xx

dotchas
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Oh Jenny,what a b*mmer.I would be absolutely gutted to get that far then cancelled! I would be bubbling for Britain.
Go and do some retail therapy or treat yourself to a lazy day in front of the telly or a good DVD.
I had a dog ear on my back from my LD recon so the surgeon fixed that at the same time as my WLE.The dog ear was quite big and could be seen through my clothes so I am much happier now its gone but am still looking forward to a new nipple next year sometime.
I too was absent from the forum for a while when I was getting back to work,but was so glad I could come straight back when the lump was found.
Hi Cathy,thanks for your comments.This really has been a rollercoaster.
At the moment I am struggling with believing that all will be OK.I can't help but think another problem will rear its ugly head.
Love n hugs to all
Dot
xxx

Jennyg
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

went up to the hospital today... got the wrist band put on... the aneathatist decided that due to bad cold that I should not be operated on... so I am back home again feeling very fed up. Nipple will not be in place til next year now I guess.

Jennyg
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Am glad my frank and candid descriptions have helped - it was good to get it all 'off my chest' at the time... and time is certainly a great healer ... reading back ( as I have done tonight) makes me realise how far Ive come since then - never been so frightened in my life and hope I never have to go back to that dark place again. Apart from the odd wobble I have when I talk about it to the medical people when i go for check ups, it all feels like a very distant nightmare now.
As for the procedure Im having done on Monday - Its nipple recon using the skin I have on the breast - apparently they will make 4 little petal shaped cuts and then sew them together to form a nodule.. friends have helpfully suggested I take in a rivet from my jeans to use... or a small button... but I'll trust the surgeon to use his own method! Am also having some lypo done on the new boob as its a little too large and needs balancing a bit to match the other one, also some lypo on my tummy tuck; the 'dog ears' that were left over, like small fleshy corners will be flattened out. Its all just cosmetic really and Im not keen on operations ... but have been persuaded to have this last bit of surgery done to complete the work... next step will be tattooing and am seriously considering something a bit different for that. maybe a star shape in nipple colours!!! Feel I ought to mark it with something a bit different!
Wish I could persuade him to lypo my thighs & bingo wings too ... but doubt he will.

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Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Jenny

Wow, great to hear from you - your's was the first thread I started reading just before mast + immediate reconstruction in May and I can't tell you how much it helped me - yes, wart's & all - I needed to hear all of it so thank you for being so frank and candid about your experience.

Dotchas - blimey, you've been through it & all haven't you?! I remember reading your posts too - once again, thanks for writing so honestly, whether good or bad. I truly believe that as a newbie, if you can stand it, it's best to learn as much as you can from those who've already been there.

Here's to nipples! - I'm absolutely DESPERATE to get one but have to wait until July '10 (may have to bring that one forward though). Thanks Jenny in advance(!) for saying you'll write about this too (are they doing your nip from the actual flap itself of from donor site).

Lots of love to all. Cathy x

Jennyg
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Oh Dot... how awfull for you ... poor thing... :o( Hope you are ok and had lots of support - only sorry I wasnt here for you on the forum - I do feel very selfish for just abandoning... but I just wanted to forget everything . I have re-read our thread - and it brings it all back just reading through it all . I still check for lumps and bumps all the time - dont think the fear will ever go! How are the other girls ? have you heard from any of them lately?

dotchas
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hey Jenny,
Nice to hear from you.Glad to hear you are doing well.
I had a hiccup at my annual check up where they found a lump on MRI.Turns out they think it was missed at my surgery last year!!! So I have had a WLE and 25 rads. I am just recovering and hope to get my nipple done next year sometime.I will be interested to hear how you get on.
Its been a long haul but I am getting there.
We have all come a long way since you first started this thread.
Good luck with the nipple!
Love
Dot
xx

Jennyg
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hello girlies... it's been AGES since I came on the site and added to my post... how are you all? I have to return to the hospital in East Grinsted for nipple reconstruction on Monday - hopefully this will be an end to my nightmare... for now. This time last year I had just had the mastectomy and was feeling rather fragile. How much has changed in a year - hopefully some of the newly diagnosed will find some comfort from our posts... and I really hope all our 'totally terrified' postings are well and ok. If you still log in, please post and let me know. I am expecting to take a week off to recover, so will be checking in to see if you have posted. To anyone else who reads this post... I will add my experience of nipple recon after the op to update the post x

lisaf
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

hi all, sorry havent been in touch - hope everyone okay xxx

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

hi dot im so glad to read your post as it felt like you were away forever. im so happy you had a great time and are feeling stronger thanks to the ad's.you too have been through so much. thats strange my birthday is 30th june and thats the anniversary date for you. i am def considering ad's. i have asked for them but was refused on the grounds of how im feeling being normal?????? im going to ask my surgeon for a letter to the gp requesting them. my op is on the 23rd so i will keep everything crossed all goes well. i hate to think if it doesnt they will be removed. my hubby took pics last night as i wanted to e-mail them to friends to give them a better understanding of why i feel so bad to say they are horrified is an understatement however i think now they will think twice before reminding me im lucky. i have looked at them a few times and they are bad.

the weather here was ok most days but a bit too hot a few days which isnt always welcome the flushes play up lol. dot its edinburgh you stay is that correct?

lots of love lainey xx

dotchas
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Girls,

I am back from my holidays ,well I have been back a week but I was shattered and I am still recovering. We drove nearly 2400 miles round Europe.It was a great time but quite hectic,I am used to holidays lazing by the pool with just a little "exploring".
I am now on ADs and WOW what a difference,I began to feel better almost immediately.I now feel mentally/emotionally stable and much stronger.Although I am still tired I am much more able to cope at work.
I tried hard to do it on my own but I needed the boost they give me,wish I had done it sooner!
It was the anniversary of my clinic appt on 30 June so I have survived the first year.I am glad that the ADs have made me stronger as I feel more able to move on now.
My follow-up is 21 July ,I don't know what happens as my appt is 4pm so I cannot see me getting mammos etc the same day?

Lainey,I so feel for you and where you are now.You have been so brave getting this far and it must be so hard knowing that the sugery was your choice.But you made that decision to ensure your future with your lovely hubby and kids.You must not lose sight of how important you are to them (boobs or no boobs).
Hope you enjoyed the sunshine ,or did you get the terrible rain?

Ostrich,glad you hear you survived your nights,I am not looking forward to doing on-call again.I still need some refresher training ( after all my sick leave)so will put it off as long as possible!

Hugs to everyone ((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))

Off to have a glass or two!

Love
Dot
x

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

ostrich we really enjoyed last night, we got a lot of things off our chest ( no pun intended). it is difficult however hubby reinforced he is with me for me not my breasts and were thinngs to fail it wouldnt help neither of us which i agree with. i know we just needed time alone to chat and i needed to hear certain things from him not purely for lip service but i needed to know i wasnt the freak i see in the mirror. so hopefully onwards & upwards now.the next month or 2 will be hard but hopefully it will go well.

im glad you had a nice day yesterday and enjoyed the wine. ive tried so hard not to have wine as if i have a glass i will want 2 bottles and will end up a crying wreck so am avoiding it at all costs..

going to have a relaxing day today and maybe get out in that sunshine xx

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Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Ladies,

Lainey glad you are having some time with your hubby and no kids. He sounds like a wonderful chap and you are a lovely lady so I really hope you two find a way to renew/revive your bonds over the next couple of days.

Just finished nights last night and slept today, got up went shopping and have spent the evening on my ar*e enjoying a glass of vino.

Am truly hoping for you Lainey that things heal soon. I do so remember the state I was in waiting those 6 months for my wounds and particularly the mess I was in just before xmas. Yes, I still have issues with how I look and need further surgery but I really am begining to feel like the old me (except when naked) so I know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Take it easy honey, xxxx

Dot, how are you?

Cathy, glad to hear things are still healing well. Be patient, taking it easy now and healing well is so worth it - having long term icky wounds is the pits! xxx

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

hi cathy the only thing i can do is try the grafts and pray they work or they will be off. i have resigned myself to thinking even tough cookies crumble. i do think its unfair . 1 thing that i am proud of is the fact i coped so well for 2 years prior to op then for those few weeks after and this depression has only set in since things went wrong. i keep reminding myself that i will get there and i strongly believe i will with or without breasts as i can cope with things well but i know this is taking its toll on me. my sister has taken the kids today until sat as hubby and i are arguing quite a bit and i think we need us time. he is amazing he is the best husband ever but i find im moaning constantly and there is a strange feeling at home. so we will chill out and enjoy it he works of course so i have the best of both worlds the few days to myself without the constant echo of mum mum lol then us time when hubby is home..we are also going for a meal on sat night with the kids. so looking forward to that..thanks for asking how i was cathy and im glad things went well for you xx

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Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi everyone

Lainey - Hope you don't mind me asking but have you been given any idea if anything at all can be done. Just read your post on another thread I was reading and just feel so terribly sad, especially as you were so pleased with the results initially, it's just so unfair. My recon's going reasonably OK and tummy is getting there (still have to be really careful with wounds both on tummy & boob after 8 weeks - getting impatient!)

Lainey, all I can do is add support and wish and keep everything crossed that you will eventually get a decent result. It seems to unadequate to say that. You must be one strong cookie that's all I can say xx

Lots of love to everyone. Cathy x

lisaf
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Lainey, hope you get a date sorted xx

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Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Lainey,

Just saw your post, hope your date isn't too far off so you can get on with it and on with healing, xxx

Just enjoying my last day off before back to work for a set of 7 shifts so possibly won't surface again until next week,

Take care all, xx

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

hi cathy sorry im a nightmare at not explaining what i meant was he was supposed to use the skin from my tummy but decided last minute to keep my breast skin in a skin sparing op..

everyone on here is lovely especially on this thread which was started back in aug and we always check in to make sure we are all ok. if someone hasnt been on for a while i send an e-mail to check things are ok. i think its so important that we all know we are here for each other to share the good and the bad parts.

surgeon is calling today with a date for surgery. so i will know better whats happening then.

love lainey xxxxxxx

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Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi everyone

Oops Lainey, sorry got my wires x'd. You'd said a few pages back that they were going to use skin from tummy but changed their mind during the op so I'd assumed they'd sneaked round to your back & done LD as well! I'm so desperate (like everyone here) to see you end up with a good - no excellent - result, god knows you deserve it. I don't think anyone would blame you for thinking you'd be better off without them but would be such a shame after all you've gone through.

I can't get over the incredible warm and genuine support here and the determination by everyone to heal and keep going. Hope I'll be as strong, going well so far.

Lots of love to all. Cathy x

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

hi cathy no i never had the back done that was ostrich. they had suggested though at 1 point removing my breasts and using my back but at that point i thought if they were coming off they were staying off..my tummy is amazing i was slightly sore for about 6/8 weeks with my tummy now its perfect just slightly itchy.its also really tight which is a good thing lol..
i spoke to my gp today about the long term antibiotics and he called the microbiologist who said that was a bad idea as it builds up resistance in the future and the best was is by using a nasal spray and a lotion to wash with so i will give that a go.
just waiting on hospital calling with a date now.i have had an awful day today as i have been really stressing about things. hubby was trying to arrange something for my birthday next week but i have refused as my birthday doesnt seem important just now ( not much does)..i must admit i would be happy to have these breasts removed im not saying it must be easy having no breasts and i know my opinion may differ from others so im sorry if it sounds as though im ungrateful for having shape under a top but i hate how this is making me feel...xxxx

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Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Lainey and Lisa and everyone else here.

Lisa - remembered the agony of waiting for results, but to find you've got a message, especially when you discover it at 4am ...!! Just so pleased for you that it was OK.

Lainey - have to admit I had some tears for you yesterday, I felt so angry. You've been so strong and hopeful during all the cr*p so to see you going through this .. too right they should be worried about long term mental/health effects! Really hope your OH is managing to hang on in there for you.

Hope you don't mind me asking but did you have tummy and back used for recon (you'd mentioned back earlier in post)? Does this mean that tissue from tum wasn't used after all & LD done instead? Was interested as you said that your tummy had been quick to heal, just the horendous situation with the breasts (which is totally unacceptable). For me, tummy's slower to heal (going to check my infection on the way out today) but lots of tightness & some discomfort inside but don't need painkillers. Boob seems OK but have to keep bra on 24/7 still as slightly sore otherwise but certainly nothing to complan about - I wouldn't dare!) I (like everyone else here) just want this to be sorted for you).

Lots of love to all.

Cathy x

lisaf
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Thanks Lainey, dont care how much weight Ive put on - I have hair lol!!! Hope you are bearing up, still waiting for PS appointment, gutted they lost it but scared stiff too.

Take care of yourself x

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

lisa that is amazing, but i would have been terrified too..it's such a worrying time and our emotions are everywhere when it comes to screening..
im so happy you got the all clear

ps i love your pic xx

lisaf
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Lainey you poor thing, been suck a hard journey for you, hope you get something sorted soon.

Well, I went to see take that too - boy they were fab, dont think Ive ever seen a concert where so much effort was put into how it looked and entertained people.

Breast MRI last week, finally after not getting vien last time. Said would only contact if found something and wanted further tests - well, got home at 4am after Take that and was missed call from them, soooo spent all weekend in floods - but this morning told me were jsut letting me know all clear on other side!!!!

Love to all x

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

hi ladies,

ostrich i havent considered legal action as i always vowed never to take money out the nhs as its short enough but at the same time i feel if i dont then my surgeon has got away with it an may do this to someone else, i wish i saw take that as i so loved them 1st time around and they are still as good now. how is the shifts coming on? xx

cathy you dont sound pathetic at all its never nice when things dont go to plan, you really do make me laugh and i also looked like a banana for a while.it gets easier pretty quickly though. i can remember dreading the tummy pain more than the breasts gosh i was so wrong. my tummy was amazing in a short period of time. xx

i was sent to a professor on fri as surgeon wondered if i was nt healing due to lack of hormones ( it turns out its not that) she was amazing but said i def need grafts. she suggested i go on antibiotics long term for at least 1 month perhaps more to rid this staph aureus as swabs taken last week shown i still have it. waiting on surgeon calling today with a date for surgery. when she looked at breasts she said you poor soul which sent me into tears, she also said mr hart was concerned that if the grafts dont work and its chronic how that will affect me mentally and physically. i feel its a risk i need to take as 5 months post op and i still have no skin isnt good... im getting really angry about it now though as they arent pretty to look at and hurt like mad. xx

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Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi everyone

Ostrich - Take That - you LUCKY LUCKY lady!! (I've developed a bit of a crush on Howard!) Wish I could go but even if I did, I'd be jumping & wiggling about all over the place and then I definately wouldn't be able to keep this damn tummy scar closed! 🙂 My small infection seems to be clearing.

Lainey - I really feel for you (I feel so pathetic worrying about my silly little infection and there's you with god knows what going on). It's not good enough for them to say they 'dont know' why things aren't healing - where the hell is that supposed to leave you? God Lainey, I wish (like I'm sure everyone else does) that I could come with you and have a chat to your surgeon (I'm sure there's a little operation on him we could try (OK, kidding!!)) but my angry little viper tongue would probably get me into trouble, just hate the emotional crap this is giving you and it feels to inadequate to say 'I understand' etc but thank god you've got some decent friends on here. Can only wish you all the best - and sue the knickers off 'them'!!

Quick giggle - I had to walk (very slowly) past 3 really cute guys in hospital the other day. Normally that wouldn't be a problem but when you're face is full of concentration (taking slow small steps to avoid staining tummy scar) & your ass is sticking out half a mile in order to keep the 'banana' shape intact, it must've looked like I'd had a toilet accident - very sexy!!!! "I'm too sexy for this scar ........!!!!"

Lots of love everyone, hope your days go well xxxx

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Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Diepcat and hello ladies,

Just popped on as never seem to have much time these days.

Went to see Take That on Tuesday night - Wow!!! Just come down off my high! Off to work later but just wanted to stop in and see how everyone was.

Diepcat, welcome. Your banana comment made me smile! 6 weeks is still early days and whilst I had LD it took quite a while to settle. I am sure Lainey can share some diep experiences.

Glad we could help with our experiences. Hope your wounds stay closed and continue to heal, wound issues can really get you down - I don't think the professionals really understand that.

I am on tamoxifen and to be honest apart from really bad night sweats to start with (which are now intermittent) I haven't had any that I've particularly noticed so you might be okay.

Dot - are you back from your trip yet? How was it?

Lainey - how are your wounds? Really hoping that you have some good news soon and that things heal quickly. I know its early days but have you considered taking legal advice? I don't really hold with suing for suing's sake but in your case the hospital messed up in surgery and if you are likely to end up with scars you wouldn't have done and suffering psychological problems as a result of what they have done (as would any of us) maybe you should think about some financial compensation....?

Sorry to hear about your referral going astray Lisa, have you had your appointment through yet?

Love to you all (ps if you get a chance to see Take That do!!!)

xxx

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Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi to everyone

Hope you don't mind me joining you all but this is the thread I've read most during my experience.

Quick intoduction: I had diep op with immed recon on 11 May 09. Diagnosed with DCIS med grade ER pos which, it turned out, had started to become invasive from diagnosis to op. Curently during week 6 post op and v tight tummy. Still walking like a banana!!

I was touched by everyone's story and everyone here gave me such comfort and confidence to go through with my op - I was as terrified (and them some!) as Jenny had been (especially as it was my first op ever and I am also single), and even told the anaesthetist that he was the 'man I most feared in all the world' - honestly!

My only 'issue' at the moment apart from fear of tamoxifen side effects(?!) is that I have 2 small (1cm each) areas on my tummy which have oozed slight straw colour discharge and currently am taking antibiotics and have iodine dressing - hope this works!

Won't take up any more space (starting to waffle now!) but just wanted to add some support. Lots of love to everyone and thank you all so much for sharing your experiences - I hope you all realise just how valuable these have been.

Cathy x

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

ostrich how was your shift? i must admit i used to hate nightshiifts i found it too hard..

dot i hope you have an amazing time you deserve it and im delighted you have the tablets sorted out.

lisa thats rubbish, 4 months of waiting for nothing fingers crossed they now rush it through for you..

well i said exactly what was on my mind yesterday even how much i hated them which needed ot be said but its not easy saying that to a surgeon. anyway the bottom line is they are not healing after 4 months and surgeon does not know why????????? he has now said i should try grafting which may or may not work but feels its worth a go. they get so far then break down and skin comes back off. they are very sore and swollen. i had a pre op and grafting will be in 2/3 weeks max unless he can get someone elses theatre time. ladies i dont know how i feel about this. im desperate to get better but scared of another op and scared of it not working .. i feel as though my head isnt my own just now. im so stressed and confused i cant think straight.if i go for it this will be my 4th op ince aug as thats when i had the ovaries out. i would then need another to do scar reversal and fillers.oh i ould scream but whats the point it wont change anything

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxhugs to all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Ladies,

Hope you have a fantastic time on your trip Dot and that the AD's help.

Lainey, how did it go with Surgeon and BCN? They so should be doing all they can for you, particularly as its their mess up that's left you in the state you are!

Lisa, thats cr*p!

I'm doing fine. Back to full hours at work so not much time to myself at the mo. Doing my first set of full nights since last year starting tonight so hope I can manage to stay up until 7 tomorrow morning!

xxx

lisaf
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Dot glad you didnt back down over tablets, it bloody comes down to money which is crap.

Lainey, course you aint coping too well, what do they expect after everything you have been through.

Well Ive now waited 4 months for even an appointment with consultant at Newcastle, found out last week referral never go there so got to wait again for appointment before even deciding and then waiting list - albeit not keen on doing it but needs must x

dotchas
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi Gang,

Nice to hear from you lainey,please tell them exactly how you feel.Maybe they can give you something?
Good luck re the infection,remember your poor body is busy fighting it so it won't leave much energy for anything else.
My GP phoned to say the Breast clinic said it was OK to take the AD I was originally prescribed (but never took).This was the one that has been shown in trials to reduce the effectiveness of Tamoxifen!!!!
I was NOT happy,unless further research shows this not to be the case then I am not prepared to take the risk.Eventually she let me have the one that does not affect tamoxifen............funnily enough its twice the price of the first one!
So since starting the tabs I feel I am coping a wee bit better and certainly much less weepy.
We are off on holiday tomorrow,driving round Europe,I am excited and panicking at the same time.
Hope you are well Ostrich?
Hugs to all
Fingers crossed for Lainey today xxx
Dot
xxx

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

HI LADIES,

HOW ARE WE ALL?

IM GOING INTO SEE SURGEON AND BCN TODAY, INFECTION ISN'T CLEARING UP AND BCN IS CONCERNED IM NOT COPING ALTHOUGH I COULD HAVE TOLD THEM THAT MONTHS AGO

DOT ARE THINGS STILL AS BAD AT WORK?
OSTRICH IS THAT YOU BACK FULL TIME NOW? HOW IS IT GOING?
LISA WHATS BEEN HAPPENING WITH YOU?

THIS THREAD HAS WENT VERY QUIET RECENTLY I HOPE ALL IS OK

LOVE LAINEY XX

dotchas
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Hi girls,
Sorry,again for not posting,I just feel like hiding away!
I am OK but finding work a real drag.Its really getting me down.I am having counselling and she agrees that I am using up all my emotional energy to get through a day at work.I am much better when not at work! Wish I could pack it in!
I had physio on Tues and broke down as she is so lovely,she told me to tell my boss how hard I was finding work.So I did,she listened and said all the right things then 2 days later shoves me in at the deep end with something I haven't done for years (what with my foot ops and then BC).Hell ,she just doesn't get it!
I had a real bad day on Wed and went to see GP on Thursday to discuss starting anti-depressants but she was really unsympathetic and kept telling me to be positive.I could have hit her.She is checking with the breast unit re which ADs are best with tamoxifen as the ones I was originally prescribed are thought to reduce the effectiveness of tamoxifen.
The good news is I am off on holiday a week on Wednesday to the south of France.There are 11 of us going and we are driving there,well my OH and 5 other blokes are driving!
Lainey,Thanks for the message.How are you ,have they got your infections under control yet?
Everything seems such a long haul doesn't it?
I hope you can make the most of the nice weather and not being at work!
Ostrich,hows work? Hope you are doing better than me!
I hope the sun is shining where you are and it is brightening your lives!
Love n hugs to all
Dot
xxx

lisaf
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

Im still waiting for an appointment, Im going to chase it up as a letter requesting was sent at end feb by my surgeon.

take care

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

lisa that's great you had a good time away it always helps doesn't it?

no wonder you felt like that on thursday though i think it's only natural. you will feel so different when you get the other breast off. have you had a word with your ps?

love lainey xx

lisaf
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

back to see your post Lainey, god that's awful, taken them a while to get to that, however, if they can get that under control you might heal faster - just think of those nice bra's.

Well, my hols was fab, my mam and dad were so shocked when I knocked n their door in Florida - lovely but god do I hate my false boob, no matter how scared I am now want the other off and recon on both sides at same time if I can find someone to do it.

I cant believe this time on thursday past I literaly had to be dragged into hospital shaking and teary to the chemo ward for session number 1 - seems like yesterday but at the same time a long time ago!

Love to everyone x

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

hi ladies

just wanted to let you's know we have got to the bottom of why i have taken infection after infection i found out today i have mrsa. waiting on surgeon calling as my gp gave me my results and i had to call my surgeon. his receptionist thinks i will be taken in for a week or so to he keeps an eye on me.

hope you's are all well xx

lainey32
Member

Re: mastectomy & recon on 22nds Sept - totally Terrified aged 38

hi ladies
dot im so sorry to read about your friend she must be devastated. and yes ostrich that's the problem there is no guarantees.it's so reassuring that your ps will fix all the parts that you aren't happy with as it's such a big deal i know that only too well. how is it being back at work? xx
ostrich your weekend sounds bliss, did you have a nice time? when is it you go to turkey? xx
im doing so so, 1 day at a time ladies eh what i have learnt is there will be good and bad days and i cant beat myself up for them. the bad days are awful and i enjoy all the easier 1's.i have another infection and i saw mr hart yesterday who again has changed my dressings as the skin is growing on them slightly then breaking off. they look red and raw just now but as i say 1 day at a time.
hubby is trying to decorate the house and i will be happy when it's done and i bet he will too. i got very very emotional earlier as i thought about him as i started wondering how he is really feeling i have often wondered this but tried not to think about it too much but today it all got to me. he keeps telling me he is fine but i cant imagine what goes through his head at times. i thought perhaps i should always tell him im fine and stop getting so upset at times and i thought that may help him and im sorry if this is going to sound bad but i feel i cant be bothered putting on a show. he is my life along with my kids and i would do anything for them as i love them sooooooooo much but i feel things at times can look scary and i do get frightened but i cant get him and his feelings out my head right now. im thinking about booking a hotel as we both have a birthday 4 days apart at the end of next month. just to get a little break away from it all.

hugs to all xx