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mum of two young children

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Re: mum of two young children

Hi Tarradiddle1,
your feelings are absolutely normal, I felt the same, and i know lots of mums owiller will have felt the same at some point. Feel free to offload on here, it will make you feel much better knowing that there are others who really understand, as much as my family/friends try to they can't possibly. Once you get a treatment plan you will feel better, you will still have down days but you will be on the road to recovery. I make the most of my good days, planning nice things to do with the kids, I often feel angry because of what my kids are having to go through at such a young age, however I know there's nothing I can do about it other than get through it, although it doesn't stop me feeling sad at times but that's fine and it is important you know it's ok to have down days.
Good luck for your op, I will be thinking of you, felt us know how you get on & feel free to PM me any time xx
Sarah x
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Re: mum of two young children

Hi tarradiddle1

I have put for you below the link to BCC's publication 'Mummy's lump' a book that has been specially written to help younger children understand what is happening. As with all BCC's publication this one is free, just follow the links to order your copy. I hope you find it helpful.

http://www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/diagnosed-breast-cancer/mummys-lump-bcc164

Take care,

Jo, Facilitator

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Re: mum of two young children

hiya, thank you lydia and sarah, that is exactly how i am feeling, i feel scared and angry, we talked to them both about it the day i got diagnosed, i also told my daughters school and they have been awsome - my 3 year old boy hasnt asked any questions, but goes quiet when it gets talked about and hes crying more so i know he is taking it in, my 6 year old is very mature for her age and has asked lots of really good questions, i just feel like I have barely had time to start getting to know them yet, and who will be me if i am not there, because they need me, and if im not there then i will have failed them. sorry i know thats a bit deep, but i am going to explode if i dont get it out of me, people keep saying how am i? but they dont want to hear that i am scared of leaving my children without a mother, then they tell me they know that i am going to be ok and i just want to shout at them 'who made you god?, who are you to give me reassurances?!!!!' and in my heart all i want is for it to be alright, but in my heart i never wanted it in the first place so i'm not relying on what i want to get me through... Clare, i totally get you, i feel like i am surrounded by information but i havent got a clue!!!
deep sigh, shoulders down, thankful that i found this site!
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Re: mum of two young children

Hi tarradiddle 1
I am a mum of two young children aged 5 and 15 mths, my heart went out to you when i read your post as i remember those feelings well. The first thing i said when i was diagnosed was "my kids", i constantly wondered if I was going to be around to watch them grow up, I was so terrified that I wouldn't be, however I had surgery in December and am now approaching my second round of chemo and has got easier. My youngest is oblivious to it, my 5 year old isn't as much, my biggest worry with her was how she would feel when my hair fell out so i involved her in cutting it off- the only time she is ever allowed to give me a haircut ha ha and then did a sponsored head shave. When it started falling out I explained it was the medicine working. I talk to her regularly about how she is feeling and any worries she has, she counts down with me how many chemos iv got left and is looking forward to the biggest t-party were going to have when finished. You get through it, it's hard don't get me wrong and some of the things she has said to me is heartbreaking but as i have, you will feel emmense pride for your children as they go through this journey with you.
There are loads of women on this forum with children, some lovely poems aswell - good luck!
love, Sarah xxx
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Re: mum of two young children

I am newly diagnosed too and have 2 boys age 7 and 11. I am going in for surgery on thursday and really nervous.
I feel I have no idea whats ahead of me so will be glad to get the ball rolling and get things moving.
It will be have some support from people experiencing similar.
Clare
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Re: mum of two young children

I am newly diagnosed too and have 2 boys age 7 and 11. I am going in for surgery on thursday and really nervous.
I feel I have no idea whats ahead of me so will be glad to get the ball rolling and get things moving.
It will be have some support from people experiencing similar.
Clare
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Re: mum of two young children

Hi tarradiddle1,
im so sorry you find yourself here, you will though, get lots of support. I was diagnosed January 2012, my daughter was 4 at the time, terrified doesn't come close. My every waking moment was consumed with the "what if's", every ache or pain meant it had spread, all i could think about was my daughter growing up without her mummy, my mind just wouldn't let it rest. Fast forward 15 months and following surgery, chemo and radio, life is much easier. The hardest part is where you are now, the uncertainty, once you've had your treatment plan and you know what you're dealing with you will begin to feel that you've taken some control back. As Anna says, there's also a Facebook group for younger women diagnosed with BC, one of the forum members from this site set it up, it's a lovely group of ladies.
Please feel free too PM me if you have any questions.
take care
Lydia x

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Re: mum of two young children

just found it and sent a message thank you, and thank you for your replies, the first information i tried to find was about coping with cancer as a mum of young kids, and i cant find any. the whole thing feels like i am having to do everything from scratch with just my instincts to rely on and tbh they feel completely shot! tonight i am wondering how i am going to get through the next week without falling apart, i feel so scared, i just want to know how bad it is x
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Re: mum of two young children

Here is a link to a thread with more information about the younger women's network as mentioned above by Deb:

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/community/forums/younger-women/facebook-network-younger-women-diagnosed-breast-cancer

Best wishes,

Anna, BCC Moderator

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Re: mum of two young children

Hi
li am sure you will gets lots of support on here, but if you are on facebook too there is a younger women's network which is a private place to chat. We have over 330 members now all younger women, many with v young children. Please feel free to message us. I was dx when my children were 2 and 4 and I couldn't bare the idea that I could be the worst thing that had happened to them. They are now 8 next month and 6 in July And so far we are all fine.
I will post the link to the grp. Just in case.
debx


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Re: mum of two young children

hi tarradiddle 1
just to say hi, im an older mum, my kids have their own kids, but welcome and good luck
angie x
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mum of two young children

hiya, i was diagnosed last week, am booked in for opp on 3rd april and from that i will know if cancer is confined to lump or has spread, feeling ok about stuff so far, biggest fear is that cancer will blight my childrens childhood i guess that i am mainly looking for other mums to share feelings and worries with, but also it would be nice to be part of a community who i can come to when my brain is on over time and trying to convince me that i have cancer everywhere and that im doomed!!!