So sorry to hear your news, you'll get lots of help and support on this site, it's been my lifeline. I was diagnosed in January and had a lumpectomy and lymph node clearance, am currently undergoing chemotherapy, only 2 more to go thank goodness. I too was terrified of surgery as like you hadn't had anything since my tonsils were taken out at the age of 7. My surgeon and anaesthetist were brilliant but I didn't really feel reassured, however they were both right! I found it hard being prepared for surgery and being surrounded by people who had taken my control away, I sobbed all the way to theatre, but it was like i'd blinked - literally, it wasn't like sleeping, it was like blinking and I was in recovery. My anaesthetist said he could give me a sedative once i'd signed my consent form for surgery but unfortunately my surgeon was late doing it so there wasn't time for me but it might help you to discuss that option with both your surgeon and anaesthetist. Post op I was fine and in no pain at all but appreciate your operation is different to mine. You'll probably be better posting in this thread for newly diagnosed, they'll be lots of people around to give you support there.