I’ve just been diagnosed and told that the course of tretment is likley to be Removal of lump and then chemo, will see surgen on friday to get date for surgery. I think I am still in shock, trying to be brave for partner and kids but keeping feeling like I’ve been given a death sentence I know this is stupid because they have caught it early so know all being well should hopefully be treatable. am i being daft for feeling like this!!!
Hi Nadine,
Welcome to the BCC discussion forums, you’ve come to the right place for some good, honest support from the many informed users of this site, who I am sure will be along shortly to help you along.
In the meantime I have put for you below links to some of BCC’s publications you might find helpful. There’s also our freefone helpline available if you need to talk to someone in confidence which is facilitated by breast care nurses and people who have person experience of breast care issues. Don’t be afraid to give them a call, 0808 800 6000, open Mon-Fri 9-5 and Sat 10-2.
BC and You:
Resource pack:
Take care,
Jo, Facilitator
Hi
no you’e not daft…your fears are perfectly natural…I was diagnosed this time last year and felt just the same…just take one day at a time and you’ll get there… I was scared of everything…surgery…treatment…everything…whilst it is no picnic it’s doable. Keep posting and there will be ladies along I am sure…there is a lot of support on this site …no question is silly…try to focus on the positive…it’s been found early…I have an aunt in her seventies who has had breast cancer twice and she’s still bobbing around…also I have met lots of ladies on my journey who have survived BC and are still around years later…best wishes M
Hi Nadine
I was told I have cancer on Thursday so I know just how you feel. I will go on thurs this week to get the date to have my lump removed. So it looks like we will be going through it at the same time. I’m trying to be strong but just get this overwelming feeling to cry in the most unusual places, people must think I’m weird. I’v just started telling people and this seems to have started me feeling a little better, it’s good to talk. I found it so hard writing my first post on here yesterday. I just couldn’t press the post button. I just thought I was wasting everyone’s time!! But everyone’s so nice and they know what their talking about and are proof that things are going to get better. We have a long journey a head of us but fingers crossed we’ll get through it with not too much worry or pain. The Ladies on here I’m sure will help us through the worst times.
Good luck
Nadine20 - Of course your scared it is very natural and we have all been there, wating for results and start of treatment are the worst part of this journey. I was first diagnosed on 31 January this year and yesterday (Saturday) I had my final radiotherapy treatment. I had the lump removed on 13 March, started chemo on 19 April and then had Radiotherapy beginning of August and as I said above - I am now finished. This is doable Nadine, yes you may well feel unwell with the different side effects of chemo and you will feel tired, so once you know what your treatment is to be start thinking about how you can make your life easier and get help with the children. There are I know lots of other Mums on this Forum who can give you a lot more practical advice than I can! Good luck, your medical team will take very good care of you. They and this Forum will be with you every step of the way. Love Hilary xxx
Nadine, It took me a year to post (first was yesterday), so you’re way ahead. Support from all sources will ease the journey. What to do–allow yourself all feelings. They’ll hit in waves. Grief, shock, fear. And then joy and giddiness that it’s caught early and can be conquered. What not to do–please don’t over-analyze. I spent too much time on research and online reading, and it was unnecessarily frightening and depressing. A waste of time. I learned through trial and error that each of our paths is unique and we must do what is best for our diagnosis/family/personality/job/etc.
When you see your dr, ask if there is an OncotypeDX test available for you. A sample of the tumor tissue is sent to a lab (mine to California) to result in a “score” that can break down your risk of any cancer coming back. It’s a tool to educate you when options are given. It helps thousands decide if chemo is right for them. (Lower the score, better your chances of being cancer free in the future, and not having traditional chemo.)
Best wishes to you for comfort and peace. Let people help.
Thank you all for your comments having read your posts and others I am feeling a bit better about things. Jeb12 I think we may be able to help each other throgh the highs and lows to come.
Good luck for today. I went yesterday for my date only to be told their hoping to get me in on 25th Sept. I have now got to wait for letter confirmation. So I hope you get your date confirmed. I’ll have my fingers crossed for you. Let us know what date you get.
Jeb12
Hi Jeb and Nadine, I’mawake not sleeping at this silly hour having just had my second dose of chemo Weds… Steroids keeping me awake!
Im glad you found this site as you’ll get lots of help and support, so ou can ask all the questions you have as you go through your treatment.
You will find that when you get your results from surgery and your treatment plan you’ll feel better, but just be prepared for things to alter along the way as the ‘experts’ help you discover the best treatments for you in your specific circumstances.
Good luck with your next stages, and let us know how you get on.
S xx
hi jeb and nadine i say the stupidest things on here i cry rant im nerous all the time and yes all the way thro things change as it did for me every appt they told me some thing different i go 4 my 4th chemo today and very scared have been awake as had to take 8 steriods yesterday as im goin on taxtere u will get there i never fort i would i said no to everything but i did do it in end …good luck with your journey u will b fine it is all do-able in the end if u want to pm anytime feel free im 42 with 8 children love and hugs both xxxx donna xxx
Thanks for all your wishes. Jeb got my date today 27th Sept. so now have something to focus on,and I think your right we will be doing this journey together so hopefully we can give each other support.
Hi Nadine
I think just having the date helps. I now mines moved to the 14th, so it’s now sooner than yours but now I can let you now how things went. Good Luck for the 27th anyway… It will soon be here. Xx
Me too, and I’m a bloke, which is odd. Been told the same things as you, had it confirmed yesterday and I’m in for the surgery next Friday (28th), had to tell the kids last night but they were good about it. More worried about my wife in a way, her mum died in her arms of BC when she was only 17 so she could do without it to be honest. Anyway just wanted to let you know that there’s others out there feeling what you are.
Hugs,
Phil.
hello nadine and jeb12 i hope you dont mind me getting intouch only im a bit infront of you i start my radiotherapy on the 20th sept for 3 wks, and im looking to make friends who are all going through the same so we can help each other big hugs xxxx
Hi
Just wanted to say I feel for you all, but you will get through it. It seems daunting at first, there is a lot to think about and it’s frightening, but I found dealing with one thing at a time worked as looking too far ahead was overwhelming. Each time I got over a hurdle I told myself that’s one less. I had mx, then lymph node clearance, chemo, then radiotherapy and a years Herceptin at 3 weekly intravenous sessions. That was 2 and a half years ago and I’m doing OK and so will you once you get into a pattern of things. I’m sending big hugs and positive thoughts….you’ll get there!!
Love Ami xx
Hi Nadine
I rarely look in on the forums anymore, never mind post, but there was a time I was on here several times a day because it was the support I got on here that kept me sane. I was diagnosed in May 2010, had lumpectomy, chemo, radiotherapy, Herceptin and am still on Tamoxifen. The Herceptin finished in March of this year and I have been getting stuck back into life since then. The journey was scary - I must have gone through every emotion under the sun and definitely lost the plot a time or two!- but I did it, and so can you. I can tell you that I’m feeling really well now, probably fitter than I’ve ever been in my life because I’ve been going to the gym since Herceptin finished. Hope this helps a little!
Lilac
Thank you very much indeed, very new to this, almost daren’t google all that stuff, every time I look at anything on the web I get freaked out but I appreciate the thought very much.
Hi Phil,
You’ve come to the right place for some good honest support, even though the majority of the forum users are female there are a few men who are going through/gone through what you are now experiencing. I have put for you below the link to BCC’s publication regarding BC in men, and would also suggest that you give the helpline here a ring and have a chat, they’ll be able to direct you to other services that BCC can offer you to help you through this. You mention ‘you almost daren’t google’, I’m sure you’re fellow forum users will tell you not to google as much of the information you may come across this way is either out of date or just wrong. Use these forums and the helpline and I’m sure you’ll get all the support you need, all you need to do is ask.
The helpline is free, 0808 800 6000, lines open Mon-Fri 9-5 and Sat 10-2
www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/diagnosed-breast-cancer/men-breast-cancer-bcc14
Take care,
Jo, Facilitator
Thank you Jo, you’re very kind, I’ll make sure to keep that number very close to hand.
I’m trying really hard not to think of my situation as male breast cancer, I know there are some differences between it and how it affects women but I’m hoping I can offer (and I’m sure receive) help and advice to and from all as time goes on.
Is it common to be super-upbeat about it at this stage or am I likely to be in massive denial right now do you think? I’ve had a few ‘teary’ moments but on the whole I know how lucky I am and that I’m about to be surrounded by people in much worse situations than myself, so I’m feeling quite fiesty about the situation. I know that right now will be the best part of the process for months/years, it’s pretty much all downhill from next week for a long time, but I think if I start out convinced that the rollercoaster I’ve just buckled into has an end point where I get off then at least the lows should be very slightly less low than if I start feeling sorry for myself. Does that make any sense?
Sorry if I sound a bit overly positive, but I have family, security, friends and motivation to not be beaten. I dare say things will be different moments before surgery but if I start worrying too much it’ll be that that kills me.
Thanks again, sorry to rant 
Phil.
I have quite recently started my journey, diagnosed, had surgery (WLE and SNB), started on hormone treatment and awaiting radiotherapy all since start of August this year.
The support I have had from the forum (on the whole reading threads) has been brilliant. I have laughed and cried at the threads but mainly just felt that I was not alone in this. Family and friends, mine have all been brilliant, can support and sympathise but they are not going through it themselves and that is the support I think the forum provides. The people are here are going through/have been through what you are going through now which helps and they say it as it is, which is brilliant. We all have our highs and lows in every day life and mainly get on with it, for me BC just seems to make the highs higher and the low lower if that makes sense.
If I can help anyone about anything specific then just let me know.
Good Luck to you all on the journey that noone wants to take!
Karen