I was told last Tues that I have Breast Cancer with Lymph node involvement and due for surgery middle of Jan. They say the tumour is 17mm in size. I have not told a lot of people yet as feeling really tearful! I am normally very positive person but this has floored me.
The doctor says they will remove all of my lymph nodes which worries me and lumpectomy. I am told I will need radiotherapy and possibly chemo depending on the histology of the cancer post surgery.
My partner is very positive and supportive but just cant stop crying and now every ache i have in my body feels a threat.
In some ways its comforting to know I am not alone in how I feel when i read previous posts.
Dear peanut1955
I am pleased you have already found support through the forum during this difficult time. Please also consider giving our Helpline a call for information and support. They are open till 2.00pm today and from 9-5 on weekdays. 0808 800 6000. Calls are free and confidential
Very best wishes
Janet
BCC Facilitator
Hi peanut, im so very sorry about your diagnosis but you have come to the right place for info and support, you are not alone in this. It is a very scarey time and emotions will run riot but just go with it. Once u have a plan of action and treatment starts u will find the strenghth to deal with it and it will get easier to handle. Take care of urself and keep posting
Big hugs xx
dear peanut…i’m due for surgery middle of Jan (no date yet) and am also pretty nervous …as far as they can tell I have no problem with the lymph nodes but am told that wont be certain til they see what’s what when they do the surgery…
so let us know when your op will be …we can hold virtual hands.
Mary
Thanks Clare37
I go back to the hospital next Weds 21st so will know more then.I feel like I am standing on the outside watching a play, so hard to take in.
Thanks for your thoughts xxxxx
Thanks Mary see the surgeon on weds so will know more then. What a lovely thought, holding virtual hands, I like that xxxxxxxx
Hi peanut1955,
It is a very scary time and unfortunately your mind goes into overdrive!!! It is definitely a shock to the system, that is why the forum is so good someone will always answer your questions and it does put your mind at ease, so keep posting and the very best of luck to you for Wed, take care and lots of hugs xx
hi peanut
sorry you find yourself on this site, but you have done the right thing joining and you will get great advice and support on here to help you deal with this. the helpline on this site is excellent, i have used it a few times - you can ask anything you want and they really do help. your bcn will be a great support and dont be afraid to let her support you through it and let her know your concerns or thoughts.
hope all goes well next week and once you get your treatment up and running you will feel a little better.
keeping posting - anything at all you need to get off your chest and we are here.
big hugs TTM xxx
I am trying so hard to be positive but randomly burst in to tears and my partner is finding it really difficult, if he asks me once more if I am ok I think I will scream!!! No I am not ok! It is so difficult because you want to be upbeat for everyone else but it really is frightening. The only thing keeping me sane is reading this forum knowing I am not on my own so thank you everyone for your thoughts best wishes xxx and big hug to everyone.
Hi Peanut1955
Sorry to hear that you are feeling very frightened, but try and look on the positives in your situation as they are there if you think about it. OK, so we have been diagonosed with breast cancer but it is one of the most common, most researched and most funded cancers there is. We are not alone as 50,000 other women in the UK have also been diagnosed this year too. Every one of them has shed plenty of tears, but they will ease off once you have your treatment plan. Your partner is probably just as frightened as you are so be thankful that you do have someone to help support you through this and who is there for you, so try hugging instead of screaming.
You will have your cancer removed and the rest of your treatment will be your insurance policy against a re-occurence. You will be receiving the best possible treatment there is so take it and be pleased that it is available.
Try to be positive as it really, really will help you overcome your treatment. I found my lump on March 11th and had mx with reconstruction on April 18th, followed by chemo of 3 FEC and 3 docetaxel, and then 15 radiotherapy sessions which finished about 10 days ago. I am also on herceptin every 3 weeks until late next summer. A long old haul, but doable, and I am now on the homeward straight and coming out of the long, dark tunnel at long last.
I know that things are tough at the mo, but they won’t always be so try and smile your way through life and you will feel a lot better.
I hope that this helps you and let us know how you are getting on.
Take care and keep smiling
Mazzalou
Hi Peanut
I don’t come onto this site as often as I used to as I’m nearly 4 years since dx, but it is the best place to come for support and friendship.
It’s been said before but you really are in the worst possible place at the moment.
I was dx with a 3cm lump in May 2008. After a lumpectomy and node clearance the pathology showed that it was grade 3 and 3 out of 24 nodes were affected. Someone then pressed the pause button on my life!! I planned my funeral and really thought that I wouldn’t see another summer. Chemo and rads followed. Chemo wasn’t anywhere near what my brain was expecting. It wasn’t pleasant, but I marked the dates off on the calendar, made sure I had something to look forward to for my good week, and before I knew it …it was over. Rads were no problem.
You will get over this, just don’t look too far into the future. Just take one day at a time and cross one bridge at a time.
It does take a while to take the finger off the pause button after a BC dx, and to get on with your life, but it will happen.
If I can do it, anyone can. I’m over it and enjoying life again. Although it’s difficult to believe, you will get your life back.
All the best
Mal
Thank you Mal you have just verbalised my feelings totally!! I do feel I have hit the pause button and yes I have been planning things life my funeral and looking at life insurance policies!! Thank you for understanding, it helps to know there is a future.
Thank you also Mazzalou I promise I will keep smiling and hugging. You are right my partner is very frightened, we had a long talk and I didnt realise how upset he was, I was being a bit insular about my own feelings but feeling ok.Hopefully get to the end of that tunnel too.
Best wishes xx
I (we) do understand what you are going through - it’s horrendous. But I mean it, when I say, that you will get through this.
Just remember that most of the people on this forum are going thro’ treatment etc and are looking for support (like you), but also remember that the vast majority of people dx a few years ago, don’t come onto this site anymore, they are out enjoying their lives. I only come here to support a couple of cancer buddies.
When do you get your results?
It’s scary for our partners but unfortunately we don’t have the time or energy to support them, as we need all that support for us. Their needs can get overlooked, and believe me, they suffer too. But for now, focus on you. Everything else will follow.
You’re welcome to message me if I can help.
Mal x
Peanut
Sending hugs! I was dx 22nd Dec last year with a 5.5cm grade 3 lobular tumour. Since then I’ve had an mx, recon, chemo and rads. None of it was pleasant, but I’m still here and have been back at work full-time for over a month.
You will get through this and it’s far too soon to start planning your funeral! Looking outcritcal illness policies that may pay off your mortgage I’ll forgive.
Plan instead for feeling a bit bit rough after your op - put easy meals in the freezer, etc, etc. Take everything day by day. It will all be a bit scary at the moment, but once you know what you are dealing with (however good/bad) and have a full treatment plan you will feel better.
Good luck
Dx
Hello Peanut,
How are you doing? Probably the same as me. I was dx on the 6th but confirmed dx on the 13th. Now waiting to go back on the 21st for the preop and the confirmation of the biospy and lymph node test.
I’m petrified but keeping a very smiley face. My OH and I have decided to write down all the cliches we keep hearing, and trying to joke about it as its so surreal. I dont feel ill and although everyone i see knows and my children know its still not sunk in.
I just wanted to say hi and let you know i’m here with you girly…so pm me if you want.
love Fran
xxx
Do you know Leeds39 I really don’t think that it ever does sink in and I still seem to say to myself ‘has this really happened to me?’ You are correct in saying that it is so surreal, especially if you don’t feel ill. My consultant said that so many women say this, and I think that this is what makes the reality of it all difficult to comprehend.
Take comfort from Mal, Peanut and Leeds39, when she says that in time you will have no need for this website as you will be too busy out enjoying yourself and getting on with life, but be glad that you are here at a time when you need all the support that you can get.
Remember that you are not alone as we are all in this together. It is fear of the unknown that is the hardest, but trust those of us who have come out the other side for you will too in time.
Keep smiling and thinking positive thoughts
Mazzalou x
Thank you all so much your kind thoughts and experiences have helped me so much, I feel so much calmer. I have a grade 2 invasive ductal carcinoma with metastatic ductal carcinoma of the lymph nodes, not really sure what it all means but see the consultant tomorrow so hopefully will understand a bit more.The thing is I feel really well as you do Leeds39 so good luck for the 21st, let me know how you get on. I have decided following major wobbles over the last 2 weeks that I am going to get through this, damn it I will.
Thank you so much Mal,DJ007,leeds39 and mazzalou, will let you know tomorrow.
Reality group hugxxxxxxxxxxxx
hi peanut
metastatic cancer in the lymph nodes just means there is cancer in the lymph nodes… that the cancer in the breast has travelled to the lymphs but its not normally referred to as metastatic disease its just a term used by pathologists… metastatic cancer is sometimes called secondaries or stage 4 disease and this means its travelled to other parts of the body like the bones or the liver and they may do scans if you have positive nodes to see if has spread or not… its quite uncommon to have metastatic spread at your initial diagnosis, but its not uncommon to have positive nodes… good luck with your appt today and Fran good luck with your appt too.
Lulu xx
Hi Peanut, I was diagnosed last Monday 12th Dec and I had my lump removed and one lymph node on Thursday. I know exactly what you going through, I feel like I am in a bubble and its happening to someone else. But I am feeling positive too and determined to be strong for myself and my family. I am 44. Wishing you lots of luck, take care. x
Hi Croyde
I know exactly what you mean about the bubble! I am still partially in one but getting there. How great is that to have your operation so quick, hope you feeling ok? We all try to be positive but dont be afraid to let your family know when you are feeling down.Let them be strong for you also. I am going for my op on the 19th Jan to have lumpectomy and all nodes removed.
Keep in touch, big hug xxx