well i had my chemo today. 5 hours in craigavon. i seen the doc for about 15 minutes and the chemo itself took about 45 mins. its now 6 o clock and i feel ok but very uneasy. cos of marieanne thought i would have been straight home and into bed but im not tired, well not yet.
note to self : never say that out loud you'll never get people to wait on you hand and foot with that statement. 😆
see how i feel later.
well I so do hate to miss out girls....think I've got it too!! Its worse in the morning as I think I must sleep with my arm bend - suppose you do naturally....and when I reach out or rotate my lower arm....oh what fun....;0)
gen i hope mines the same. its not a big thing but i gotta have a strong arm for riding and i mean that in the real world not just as a storm rider. will see the physio and see what she does.
you really do have the patience of a saint. forms, letters and faxes so much hassle but hopefully it will be worth the wait so you can get the treatment at home. it takes me bout i hour and a quarter to get to the hosp on a shitty road. going to the chemo prob wont be so bad but travelling home may not be. hope you hear some news soon.
I was diagnosed on 16th of jan and had lump removed on 20th. I only found the lump about 4 weeks before that!!It was all very quickly but thank god it was or it could have been much worse. Got my results a week later and they were brilliant the lump was 8mm, the margins were clear as were my lymph nodes!! Have to have 15 sessions of radiotherapy which start on the 4th. The recovery from the surgery wasnt too bad nothing compared to my C section haha. The worst thing was not driving for a couple of weeks. I have had some really bad days where just sat crying but i think thats to be expected as its early days and it still feels a bit surreal at times. I am 39 and have a 6yrold daughter so have to pull myself together for her. She has been brilliant i told her i was having a lump taken out but that was it she is too young to talk about cancer i think. She thought it was great helping me out with hoovering etc haha. I wish you all the luck for your surgery and results xx sharon
Martina - I had that cording thing, it started off being armpit to elbow for about 2 weeks. Then that got better and it moved to be elbow to thumb for about another 3 weeks. Now it's pretty much sorted - I wasn't offered physio for it, it just.........got better.
so now i have cording. great. feels like i have a piece of rope from my armpit running down towards elbow and it tightens up when i try to stretch. its only painful when i try to reach etc. gonna got physical therapy for it but read somewhere that you should make sure the physiotherapist is qualified in this area, as doing the wrong massage can make it worse. if i ask and the physio says they are not do i leave or what. only physio will help it so i need to have it but dont want it to get any worse. things can only get better.
on the up side bc nurse says im ok for chemo tomorrow. watch this space.
IVE BEEN TO THE MOUNTAIN
LEFT MY TRACKS IN THE SNOW.
WHERE SOULS HAVE BEEN LOST
AND THE WALKING WOUNDED GO.
I'VE TAKEN THE PAIN
NO GIRL SHOULD ENDURE.
BUT FAITH CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS
OF THAT I AM SURE.
OH i ate too much, went out for dinner with family and food so good ate far too much. gonna have to lie down. nobody mention the word food for the next week. lol
thanks mary. glad you have had all your results and now know what treatment you are going to have. one more hurdle passed.
not much happening here, have app in the morning with bc nurse to check breast again. doesnt really look much better to me despite anbios. doing a bit of driving, just small trips for now.
was talking to a woman today who had bc last year, she decided to get both breasts removed and then had reconstruction about 6 weeks ago but she was saying that she has already had to have one of the implants removed as she got an infection. dont know if i could be bothered with that hassle after all the treatment was finished, but i suppose until you are in that position you never really know what you would do.
hoping to start the chemo next tuesday all being well, if they say i have to wait again, i dont know what i will do. i just want to get started. will have to wait and see.
thats it for now.
for anyone who doesnt know yet i didnt have chemo today. i could tell by their reaction yesterday that it wasnt gonna happen but i had to sit for 4 hours to be told that because my breast was so swollen and red they were putting it off for a week. i just gotta go with the flow.
going to see the doc on friday so hopefully it will have improved by then.
while i was at the hospital, the "Wig woman" asked me if i wanted to try on some wigs to get an idea of what i would like. i declined but as she is located in the town near us told her i would call in some other day. she says the wig is free but i believe the "better" looking ones will prob come with a price. at the minute i dont really want a wig. but that may change when the hair waves bye bye.
well thats all for now.
what a *********** day. had app to see nurse for bloods etc today in prep for chemo tomorrow. then i went to see bc nurse for her to look at my red swollen breast, sent me other hosp for my cons to have a look. drained it a bit and gave me antib, have to see him in the morning for decision on whether i get the chemo tomorrow or not. came home cried myself to sleep. still pissed off but hey what you gonna do. just gonna pick myself up dust myself down and get right back on my horse.
gotta face the fact that theres gonna be ups and downs. back up now after havin a chat with my mate Mary, thanks you Mary.
my kids were off all last week for mid term, their back tomorrow which is good as a i have appointment in Craigavon with nurse tomorrow and then chemo tues so dont have to worry about someone to keep an eye on them.
all i can say about thurs is think about it as another step forward. you have had results from surgery so what they are going to be telling you is what they think is the best treatment to give you back your life. i wish i had the words to make you feel better about it but you have to take charge of your mind and keep telling yourself this is just another step on the journey. we can all put a brave face on for others but if you can just get your mind to be brave too then the battle is won. if it helps you can talk to me anytime, and if it helps not to talk about it then thats what you do. we all deal with it in our own way, mine is to waffle on about anything that comes into my head sometimes and mary it really does help me. im not hiding from it, but by talking about other silly things i feel that my life does not revolve around the cancer.
anyway thats the pep talk over. as usual i have waffled on a bit, but i mean every word of it. hugs to you mary.
hi martina - yes - good fun def!! I had a drive into town to go to the library on tues and then again yesterday to go and see my friend for a coffee but another short one oh and to collect my antibiotics too on friday and its fine as I have full movement of my arm and wanted to be free again....we have half term here this week now - do you? Bit mithered about thursday but want it here too....mary x
but think of all the fun we would have before that, anyway if it was against the law to wear a iffy wig there would be a lot of people in jail at the minute :-).
have you started driving yet mary. im gonna give it one more week and then thats it. hate havin to rely on other people to drive me around. its the simple things like leaving the youngest to school and collecting her, or just running to the shop for the papers or some groceries.
i think this bloody boob is gonna need drainin again, seems like as soon as they drain it, it just fills right back up and its not sore just uncomfortable.
i will put on my daughters wig and send you a pic, for you to have a laugh at. havent been able to get to my sisters to see my pics yet hope to get tomorrow. give me your email address.
how are you feeling about thurs, when i had my meeting with the oncologist he asked me if i wanted to know everthing and i said yes, so just in case he asks you that, decide before you go if you do or not. when they say everything i think it means about the percentages but hey we have surgery results what is there thats any worse that they can tell us.
so keep in touch
thanks for the offer, may take you up on it anyway and come and live in your backyard for a couple of months :-). would like to see shrewsbury, me and you could put on our wild wigs and go out shopping jus to see other peoples reaction, now that would be funny. they would have to look really daft on us and obvious that they were wigs but we would pretend that we thought we were gorgeous and ask the shop assistants "does this go with my hair colour" im laughing jus thinking bout it. boy the fun we could have with strangers would be endless, we could sit in a cafe and discretely but not discretely swop wigs pretending not to notice other people watching. oh it could be hours of fun.
renee thankyou for your support. how are you doing. dont know if i met you before. but hi anyway. keep in touch.
thats it for now
they done the test for HER but i have no results yet. the nurse was explaining how it takes a year for the treatment, i think that means if i need it i will get it. why do the test if they are not going to give you the drug thats unbelievable. i am attending Craigavon and if what your doctor is right where does that leave me. my postcode wouldnt be a craigavon postcode so does that mean because i live elsewhere maybe i can get it but someone who lives in craigavon cant, thats seems absurd. i thought that things had changed and that every woman was entitled now to herceptin. if thats not right then i think it is an outrage. playing a lottery with womens lives. will be in seeing nurse on Monday in Craigavon and will ask her.
anyway thanks for the info. hope you are doing ok
hi pollysue - me too, I was from Craigavon with my family originally being from Dungannon until we moved to the new town but then they moved over here when I was 10!
Martina - I'm sure the pics are lovely!! Mary x
Hello ardmhuire..I am from Craigavon originally but living in England at the moment. We were actually on the verge of returning to Northern Ireland when I was diagnosed in April 0f 2008 with invasive breast cancer. I decided to have the surgery here and then think of returning to N.I. Then came the bad news.. I was diagnosed as HER2 positive and would need Herceptin for a year after chemo and rads. When my oncologist made enquiries as to the availability of Herceptin in Northern Ireland at both the Belfast City hospital and Craigavon it transpired it was not automatically available to all cancer patients with positive HER2.. a bit of a post code lottery as to who actually received this treatment. So as you can appreciate I have decided to stay put. Best wishes with your treatment.
well 5 days until "C" day. my sis is photographer and she took some photos of me last nite just so i can look at them when i have no hair i remind myself i will look as "gorgeous" again one day.:-).
was asking my daughter today about how she felt going through her treatment, she thought for a minute and then said to me "mom, to tell you the truth even though it wasnt easy i dont really remember that much" so although she couldnt give me any hints or tips it made me happy for two reasons. one, that it cant have been so bad for her because she has been able to move on so easily and other things have been more important in her life. Two that if she could get through it and move on so quickly hopefully i will be able to do the same. i know it seems strange but for some people even when they have been told they are in "remission" they still live with the fear every day of their life, and find the fact that they dont have appointments or meetings leaves a big whole in their life that they have no idea how to get back to "normality".
well thats all for now.
ps i may have said this before but i post on here just to keep a diary of my journey and i save all my posts in a word doc. sometimes i read them just to see how far i have come and to read the kind words from my fellow travellers. however anyone who wants to is free to tell me im a bit strange:-)
martina - was re-reading some threads and forgot you had your hormone results for the lump - so you won't need the tamoxifen etc then? I'm still waiting on mine....mary x
two qoutes that i believe in:
In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.
My illness has taught me something about the nature of humanity, love, brotherhood and relationships that I never understood, and probably never would have. So, from that standpoint, there is some truth and good in everything.
just got a phone call from my clinic, i have to go in monday for some blood test and then tues for first dose of chemo. still in a bit of a "Huh" state. seems my phone call did speed things up as i was just to see the oncologist on tue 17th for discussions and now it seems that they are just going to go ahead with treatment instead. they gave me two weeks to decide but it only took me 2 days so i rang to let them know, at the time the lady said that the appointment still stood but i told her to make sure and tell the oncologist anyway, seems the oncologist thought different and things are about to move on.
catch you all later when it has sunk in.
well it been a few days now. i now have impetigo on my nose of all places, look like im practicing for red nose day :-). my wound is healing up well but breast still sore and swollen but im getting there. whats really bugging me is my memory, is wasnt good anyway but now its even worse cant seem to hold a thought for more than 3 seconds bit like a goldfish. maybe its Homer Simpson Syndrome where all the new info im getting is replacing all my previous info. haha.
i lost my debit card yesterday, i think i left it in the machine in my eagerness to read the bad news in my mini statement. so i have had to cancel it and now have to wait up to 10 days for a new one. ah well maybe its a good thing as i cant spend money i shouldnt be spending anyway. so thats about it for now. hope you are all keeping up the good fight.
so this is where i'm at. sat my children down today and explained about the cancer, they took it well seemed more annoyed about having extra chores than me!!!!. only kidding. my eldest daughter came home so she would be there when i told them. she had 12 doses of chemo 3 years ago for hodgkins disease and now is fitting fit, so they could see that there is life beyond cancer and i think that helped them alot. anyway after some discussions with family have decided to have chemo. as we irish say "to be sure to be sure". gonna have my wound drained again on friday and tell bc nurse that i have decided to go ahead, might as well get started.
well thats about it from me. i will keep posting as and when.
everyone take care
Posted to you on the Storm Rider thread. Just to add, my Onc said the rad does increase your survival rate again, so if you do both, you're on a winner in the % stakes! 🙂
thankyou for you post. yes i will have rads either way but they didnt tell me if it would increase my % but it probably would. this is one personal choice i could have done without. i watched my daughter go through chemo for 9 months and although she was really positive it was hard to watch her go through it and i feel terrible that i would have to put my children through it but then again im sure they would want me to have a better chance of beating this. thank you for your opinion thats what i came on here to get. even though all my other results were good they all just faded into the background when i was told about the decision i had to make. i have two weeks to decide but i could ring them tomorrow if i had decided, they say the chemo would start quite soon. im in northern ireland so the waiting lists aren't as big. so i suppose thats a plus.
anyway thanks again. i will let you know what i decide
Those are great results Martina. Are they offering just rads instead if you don't go for chemo? That will also give you some %'s.
My 10 year survival odds without further treatment were 75% and chemo gives me another 10% so the decision was clear cut for me.
This is purely my own opinion, but even if I had been in your situation where it was left to me to decide I would have gone for the chemo. My view is that I only want to do this once, thank you very much, so throw everything you've got at it and let's have done. 18 weeks is a fairly short cycle and might be over before you know it.
I can understand your dilemma, but I'm so pleased to hear that your prognosis is so excellent. Must be a huge weight off your mind.
There's no huge rush to start is there? I'm 6 weeks post surgery now and have another 3 weeks to go before I start chemo because my wound hasn't healed too well. I asked the oncologist if this compromised my chances and she said that since my cancer hadn't spread a few extra weeks wouldn't be an issue.
so heres the deal with my results
its quite complicated so i hope you can understand it. seen consultant today. heres what he told me,
lump was small -lymph nodes not infected - hasnt got into blood vessels - ER negative. no results for HER.
then seen oncologist. so right now i have 89% of being alive in 10 years. if i have chemo that increases by 3%. if the chemo offered 5% they would say have the chemo - if the chemo offered 2% they would say dont bother but cos its offering me 3% they say the decision is mine. just to complicate things even more. if the HER comes back positive i would need to have chemo before i could take that drug that all the fuss was about. so they say i need to decide in the next two weeks and not to wait on the HER results. the chemo would take 18 weeks give or take and they are not pushing me one way or another but they do want to get started as soon as possible if i want to. i am just lost, have no idea what to do. please anyone tell me what you think. it would be great to hear the opinion of someone who actually understands what this is like.
thankyou in advance
cornelia and lisa
nice to meet you wish it was under different circumstances.
after my biopsy the consultant was able to tell me i had invasive ductal carcinoma. that means the cancer was in one of my ducts as opposed to lobular cancer. if you look for a picture of the breast you can see the difference. it can also be in situ which means it is just in the lump or invasive which means it can spread. when they removed my lump they also took lymph nodes to see if the cancer has travelled into your lymph node system which means it can then travel around the other lymph nodes in your body. i have been lucky as my lymph nodes are clear but it doesnt always follow that if it in the lymph nodes it will have gone anywhere else. around 10 days after you have your surgery they give you the results and then you see an oncologis who discusses what treatment you will need. i found that the best way to deal with it was just to concentrate on each step and appointment and not to look to far ahead.
i get all my results tomorrow and i also see the oncologist. i have four children the two older ones know the full story but the younger ones just know i have had a lump removed. when i get the full story tomorrow i will have to sit them down and explain it to them. my daughter had cancer a couple of years ago and she is fine now so they know that peoople do get better and hopefully they wont be too frightened.
i dont have all the answers, i am just giving my own experience, but if you want to ask me anything else please feel free cos i know when i first came on here i was lost but talking to others really helped.
I have put for you below the link to BCC's publications regarding talking to your children about breast cancer. I hope this helps.
Hi there I feel exactly the same. I am 39 and was diagnosed just before xmas. I have had a mastectomy and now have to have chemo and radio therapy. I have 2 children 8 and 5 and although they know I have had an operation I can't mention the cancer word. My sons Grandma died of cancer and he was so upset. He will think the same is hapeening to me. I'm not sure what to tell them yet. Just take it as it comes.
Wishing you lots of positive vibes for good results
You are more than welcome to give the helpline a ring and have a chat with one of the nurses here, they'll be able to talk to you about what to expect when you go into hospital, no question is too trivial, just ask away BCC are here to support you. Calls to the helpline are free, 0808 800 6000, open Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm and Sat 9am - 2pm.
Hope this helps. Kind regards,
I was also diagnosed on thursday I am 31 married with 3 girls, 12,10,6 I am due to go for an operation on the 9th of feb. I havn't been told what type of cancer I have as my doctor dosn't know. I had a biopsy last week. I have had an on going problem for four years. I was told it was a blocked breast duct. My nipple bleeds and forms a crust. The doctor did a biopsy thinking it was a skin condition. SO If any one has an idea what type of cancer this could be I would love to know. I feel in limbo at the moment as I have no idea how bad this is.
well today i done a bit of driving, just a small trip to my mums grave. it was ok but i wouldnt want to drive much further for a while. i now have 2 appointments on wed. one with the consultant for the rest of my results and the other with the oncologist to discuss my treatment. only problem is one is in craigavon at 2.30 and one is in newry that is an hours journey away at 3.30. which means i am not going to be able to make both. i am gonna talk to my bc nurse to try and rearrange one of them for a different time cos i really want to make both of them and if i cancel one it means another wait. i am feeling good, i really think im gonna beat this.
i know i seem to be talking to myself here but i dont really mind. its like i'm keeping a diary and when i read back when i started this i can see how far i have come and how i was feeling at different times. i do post on other forums and i have a few great friends that i send private messages too. i hope that we are giving each other support and encouragement. well thats all for today.
well today i stayed in bed until 4 o clock. it was great, kids at school, hubby at work and a nice warm comfy bed. i have to take my daughter to an open day at the school she will be attending next sept. still not driving yet, i will ask my bc nurse on monday about it. its not that i have anywhere particular to go its just that when you know that you cant drive you always think youre missing out on places you should be going. daft i know but anyhow.
i hope everyone is doing ok and im thinking of you all,
starflower thanks for the post. i think everyone has their own ideas about the children. when i have all my results (next tuesday) and i know what treatment i will be getting i will sit them down and talk to them. they know i have had a lump removed and when i know more so will they. i do have a bit of an advantage as my daughter had cancer when she was 23, she had surgery and chemo and is right as rain now so they know that cancer is not always a death sentence. i will be able to explain the cancer and then the treatment so that they understand the whole journey i will be going through and know there is an end date so to speak. take care
hi kittenkat im sore too, i have an infection in my wound and im on antibiotics. its not too bad but i jus cant bear any clothes round that part of my arm and breast. hopefully the antibiotics will start working soon. on a lighter note the breast cancer nurse asked me to come in today so she could have a look at it. she then went to ring the consultant about my results, when she came back she said all the results weren't in but what they did know was that all my lymph nodes that were removed were clear. i am so delighted, i dont care what treatment i have to have the fact that it hasn't spread is the best news i could have got. i see my consultant for the rest of the results on tuesday and then i will have to see the oncologist. i do feel so lucky and believe i have been a reprieve especially when i read some of the troubles that other people on here have.
do you know when you will get your results. i hope you feel better soon. its nice to put a face to your name, by the way in my pic i'm the one in the white tshirt :-D. talk to you soon
ardmhuire, sorry to hear about your dx, it's such a shock I know, and good luck with your surgery. For what it's worth, my daughter who was 9 when I was dx in June 08 has told me the worst thing for her has been what she calls "people who water down the truth", she likes to use the word cancer and ask the difficult questions, I have been quite matter of fact with her and told her the truth about everything. I know all children are different but she said to me, "if you tell me one lie I'll never believe anything you say in the future" and I promised her I wouldn't lie o her. Good luck wit your treatment xx