Debbie, I'm glad your chemo has been going good so far! This will also help you adjust, bc feeling l I just sure won't! There's no magic answer to this. I think for me it was time and just every day life that keeps moving. I did try to put it in some perspective by reminding myself, YOU'RE not the first or last, OTHER'S have made it through worse things, IT'S not my child, LOOK at people who are born with health issues and have never had a normal life, ARE you going to waste the time you have left, YOU better get up and pay the electric bill, etc. I also found keeping busy helps. Hugs!
We all felt the same way as you do when first diagnosed it's just that some of us have had much longer to adjust which is why we might seem to be coping better. Believe me that's not always the case! Take time to adjust, it's like being hit with a sledgehammer and that's even before you start any harsh treatments! Check out other threads which are very active to see how much support there is and also some humour, which we have to allow ourselves otherwise we'd all go completely mad.
Take care and hope that the SEs keep to the minimum.
Hi Debbie and Abney, jst wanted to say hello and welcome and echo everything the others have said. This is a very scary process and only people that have walked the path know how you really feel so feel free to rant, rave cry etc whenever you want. We rte all here for you.xx
Hi Debbie, so sorry you have had to join us. It is hard , raw and scary . I remember at the beginning thinking will there ever be a day when SBC won't be my first thought. The truth is therre are days that are still tricky , but less of them , SBC is NOT my first thought of the day. Of course I wished this has never happened , however I have found a new me and so will you. There is fantastic support here . Don't be too hard on yourself , cry if you need and be gentle with yourself. It does get better, honest . Marie xxx
Hi Debbie and welcome to this part of the forum - a place none of us want to be in! I see you have already had some lovely responses and I hope this has helped you. I think the fact that the time between having your primary to developing mets is so long it would indicate your type of BC is slow growing. I would hope that this means you will react well to the chemo and get good periods of stability and shrinkage. I have had mets for over 8 years now, bone 1st then liver added 3 years ago. I have luckily responded very well to the chemo's I've had and it's only at the moment I've had the first slight progression in over 3 years. I am due to start my new chemo regime in a week or so. It is always a shock to hear you have mets but my advice is not to search the Internet, It's a very scary place! Don't listen to statistics - even from your onc - they are way out of date. And allow yourself time to adjust. We all, over time, get to grips with this diagnosis, some of us need counselling, others manage to adjust on their own. Read the Xeloda/Capecitabine thread, there's lots of useful tips and info on there plus other ladies who are on it. The Bone mets thread is also very active and most SBC ladies post on there at least some of the time.
Take care and come back whenever you want advice, support or just a good old rant - we completely understand!
How did the chemo session go, Debbie?
at least a start has been made towards bashing the cancer, hopefully you will begin to feel more settled.
do come back and chat to us, let us know how things are.
love and hugs,
Wow thanks ladies for your reply I sat and cried this morning reading your messages it's great to know that you know how I feel and there's hope out there lots of love and hugs back Debbie xxxxxx
Hi Debbie and Abney,
Debbie, as Abney says, you have come to the right place..we are all here for you. So sorry you have had to join this' club' and like most of us, it sounds as if youve had a big shock.
im not as much of a veteran as you, my primary was diagnosed 16 years ago....the mets were found about three...to liver and bones. iwish you the very best for your chemo and a very good response.xx
Welcome Debbie and Abney. Hang in there girls! "Cap" is usually a fairly easy chemo for most. Just to throw in some hope, I've had lung mets for 11 years and its in most of the lymph nodes in my chest. One presses on the main artery to my heart. I have one bone met in my spine. I wish you the best. FF
Hi my name is Debbie and I've just been diagnosed with mets to my lungs and bone I start the oral chemo tomorrow and I'm really struggling to come to terms with the diagnosis and to accept it. I want so much to get a positive head on and come to terms with it perhaps that's when you start living everyday. I just want to tell you about my history I was diagnosed with breast cancer 21years ago I had a lumpectomy 5 years ago it returned as a new cancer to the same breast I had a mastectomy and have just been diagnosed with secondary . Thanks for reading it would be lovely to hear from anyone