OK so I’m two years in and feel fairly friendly towards my prosthesis. If it gets a bit uncomforatble late on in the day I simply take it out and put it somewhere flat…everyone says they are quite used to it popping up in strange places, and occasionally we have a frantic search for it in the morning, or when someone comes to the door!
Anyway, having once seen my friend Jackie and 10 mates all get theirs out together , in a pub, and put them on their heads, I’ve been thinking there must be other uses…
and then inspiration struck…
I was outside a certain political party’s spring conference giving out leaflets about the NHS. Excellently friendly policing, but no cameras. One policeman’s wife had had BC, we got chatting, and then the Deputy PM’s car started approaching…
what better missile I thought , when on an NHS rally, than a prosthesis! But without the cameras for youtube posterity, and with the cost of the thing TO the NHS I decided to keep hold of it…much to the relief of the lovely policeman who said he’d never have lived down the arrest of a BC patient for prosthesis throwing!!
I have been spared yet another thing to lose along with marbles and keys so haven’t had any personal experiences. But always one for a bit of a mental challenge, how about these ideas?
They look a bit like those gel wristrests some computer users have, so if you lose your wristrest, whip out the boob and use that.
If you’re snoozing on a bus, by a window seat of course, I’m sure it’d make a very comfy headrest.
On an aeroplane, whip it out, pop it on the floor, and use it to exercise your feet by squishing it stylishly with your tootsies.
I’m sure those who are more experienced will come up with other useful suggestions.
Did you hear about Mrs Robin, she was a fashion designer who managed to get hold of a different coloured prosthesis to match whatever coloured outfit she was wearing.
Well one day, her favourite red prosthesis vanished.
After many enquiries, the police eventually arrested a lady called Mrs Sparrow and charged her for Robin red breast.
dear choice muffin and truddles -
NICE! love the ideas/humour, especially as the robin in my garden is on top form today.
Off to the allotment without my prosthesis - it just gets in the way…my allotment neighbour looked at me one day and said " mind even though you look a little dodgy from the front with only one breast you’ve still got a lovely arse"!!!
Glad I found these when browsing. I totally loathe my falsie, it hurts after an hour, is often difficult to take out when you’re swaddled for winter so you’re stuck wriggling and jiggling. I thought there must be something better, so I took myself off for a day trip to one of the main suppliers. The one I was given at the hospital being the best of a bad bunch. It was a hoot. I had told them my size, booked two weeks ahead, but got there, waited 15 minutes after a two hour drive, then was put in a freezing cubicle. The girl then went off and brought back one boob. It didn’t fit at all. So, off she went- about ten minutes, came back with one more. It was freezing, so I asked her if they kept them in the fridge. She said she’d HAD TO go all the way to the warehouse! Another ‘not-fit’ by miles, so off she trundled again, same thing- another ten mins at least, another useless boob. I definitely got the opinion she really should have been a brain-surgeon and some quirk of fate had reduced her to finding false bosoms. By now, my half-hour alloted was up.
Maybe, I realise now, after reading your e-mails, I’m just not going to find a nice boob. I go without one whenever I can- without a bra for my remaining boob. The falsies remind me of day-old chicks, so ha ha to the robin story. And yes, it is totally ridiculous to be hunting in the airing-cupboard for your boob of a morning. How could any of us imagine doing that before IT happened. Has anybody got a contact for a good supplier in the Bristol area. Not another joke- I’d forgotten about ‘bristols’. I’m going to go away and think of uses.
Moorcow, I wish you had thrown it and filmed it! Brilliant idea!I have got several spares (8 years worth)so remind me to take them next time the Deputy PM (or better still Mr C himself) is in town. If they aren’t around I will settle for Mr Landsley or even my own MP! Other uses - if you’ve got enough of them could make a flexible draught excluder, or a door-stop, or what about a plunger for unblocking drains (yuk) or could use them as boules when playing on the beach. (not the sticky ones though).
You can really freak out the guys at airport security.
It’s almost worth getting a cheap flight to Manchester or somewhere, just for the hell of it. Oh, and if you have a spare, see if you can get it through as hand luggage… (maybe try this with an old one you can cope with them confiscating). Then challenge them with a very loud: “And exactly *how* do you consider this to be a dangerous article??”
My Granny always loved telling the story of when my Aunt went to stay with her, my Aunt had a bath, looked round for the bath cleaning sponge… and yes you’ve guessed it!
ha ha ha!!
nicola, oh what a missed opportunity! i’d have paid to see that
i go commando & just show off my not-quite-flat chest (lymphoedema, gets everywhere) but when i’d first had my mx’s i went to my step-daughter’s wedding & opted for the falsies
i was still healing so they’d given me the foam ones, & they were so pointy they looked like a 50’s cross your heart playtex advert
not exactly the same as the droopy ones i’d just had cut off!
so i got the scissors out & cut the points off the foam ones - felt like a very strange thing to do!
the bcc didn’t want them back so i chopped them up & they’ve helped stuff a cushion now - wouldn’t a cushion full of the proper squidgy ones be fun??
having just gone back to slimming world, i almost wish i was using prostheses - while everyone else is taking their shoes & jumpers off before getting weighed, i could whip out the falsies!
I’ve just decided I’m weird…I love my prosthesis. It’s a gel type one from Amoena in a flesh colour. It’s extremely comfortable & the weight gives it some natural movement so you really can’t tell I’m wearing one. I dreaded how I would feel post MX but have to say the prosthesis makes me look fine so not worried anymore. Not thought yet about swimwear but as I have no holiday planned & rarely swim in this country I don’t have to deal with that yet. I will eventually have a reconstruction but not until next years so I won’t be throwing my bra buddy at anyone in the near future! I do however whip it out to show people as a party trick…lol!
i have justed been fitted for a prosthesis this week after 6 weeks after mx. still sore and and bruised etc, but getting there. your amoena prosthesis, do you know which particular one it is at all?? i tried so many other day i was getting in a tizz. i am going back a week on monday and may try some more out. i did try a amoena one which was in my top 3 to pick from. it was natura light 2S i think or something?
Yes mine is a Natura Light 2S but my MX site is pain free & has healed very well. It’s quite a heavy prosthesis ( but I take an E cup so I’m not small breasted) but I wear ‘robust’ type bras which hold me well & help the prosthesis look more natural. The BCN said I was wearing the right sort of bra to make the prosthesis work for me. Zero in the attractive underwear stakes but if I look good & feel good dressed then it doesn’t matter does it.
Hiya, mine’s an Amoena Natura Comfort Plus in size 4, and it’s fabulous. Like you Twinky, I really love my prosthesis - but I have no plans for reconstruction. Can certainly recommend this prosthesis to anyone.
It’s a replacement for my first one, which only lasted eighteen months, before it started getting bubbles inside it. The bcn said it was faulty, so it got sent back to Truelife, but I much prefer this Amoena one.
The Amoena prosthesis is a much paler flesh colour, and as prostheses go, it’s actually quite pretty I think. I didnt have a name for my first one, but this one is called Josephine. I apologise to any Josephine’s out there, and also for my somewhat wicked black humour. It’s just there was an advert (or similar)about twenty or thirty years ago, and the catch line was someone saying to a glamorous woman “not tonight Josephine”. So, as my new prosthesis is also rather glamorous, it’s Josephine.
Fun things to do with it? I love to see it bobbing up and down in the bath, and the 50plus child inside me rather likes chucking it about in the bath water. Lol!
Both my first prosthesis and its present day replacement were chosen at the hospital, and they showed me loads and loads of different ones, before I made my choice each time.
Also, they would have let me return my chosen prosthesis within two weeks, if I couldn’t get along with it, and I would have been able to have another one instead.
Think if I’d changed my mind after two weeks, I would have had to keep the prosthesis - but I thought it was great of the hospital to allow you to exchange within two weeks.
they have said i could exchange it if i get home and not happy with it, cant remember if they said a time limit though to exchange it - will have to check that out - thanks a lot.
how long have you been wearing prosthesis if you dont mind me asking. does it get heavy or annoy you after a fews hours or anything. or did you have to build up wearing time to start with until you got used to it or anything??
lOVE THIS THREAD! I didn’t get a choice - just given an Ameona one, and i stuck it in and have been happy as a sandboy ever since. Some things need a softer look, and i go back to my softie, but my Betty and I are great friends! Not thought of putting her on my head… love it! Jane
I was really lucky, as I could wear mine for most of the day right from when I got it, which was six weeks post surgery. I can wear it from when I get up until I go to bed with no problems, although to be honest, if I’m not going out in the evening, I always take it out mid-evening.
When I take it out/take my bra off, I’m always a bit itchy on my mx site, and always give it a gentle scratch. It’s not that I’m allergic to the prosthesis or that it irritates me - seems just to be a little itchy when I take my bra off. Think it must be just the air getting to it or something. Probably others may feel like that too.
It never feels heavy, but just sometimes it can be slightly uncomfy, if I havent got it slotted into the bra quite right - that’s when it might sit on my most prominent rib which can be just a bit painful. A quick nudge of “Josephine the prosthesis” within my bra, n its instantly comfortable again.
I have a high cavity, but thought my scar and cavity were quite flat, until I got fitted for my replacement prosthesis recently. The bcn said that I’d never be able to have a stick on prosthesis, as my cavity isnt flat and also I have a bit of eczema there. But, I’m really happy now with the appearance of my cavity and scar - am only size 34B, which gives a size 4 asymmetrical shape prosthesis.
I really hope you have as good an experience from yours when you get it - feel free to pm me or comment here, if you want any more info.
With much love - please let us all know how you get on with yr prosthesis when you get it TTM.