Hi JoJo and all
Another link for some short relaxation or meditation exercises
Even if you may not feel in the right space for this now, it's worth a go at some point. Just a few minutes, 5minutes, 10 minutes.
Your post brought memories back for me as well. Most of the time I can talk about it fine but sometimes when I verbalise it I can still get a little tearful. And I get anxious when I go in for checkups. As ministerel says, take someone with you if you can. You will get through it.
Go with your gut feeling - if you don't want to know, that's fine. If, however you need information so that you know what you are dealing with, then say so. Do take someone with you whatever you decide! Two pairs of ears are always better than one.
Remember that there are many of us who have trodden your road and come through it. You can too. This period of uncertainty really is the worst part of the whole journey.
When you are worrying, write it down. If it is a question, post it here. We will try and help. Do something you enjoy doing today and then tell us aout it! Above all, be kind to yourself.
Many virtual hugs from France.
Just wanted to say "Hi". I so remember that feeling and it took me back a year. I had to take diazepam whilst waiting for scan and I sobbed all the way through it. I made the Onco promise not to tell me the results as I couldn't cope with it. I really know how you are feeling but I am 1 year down the road and waiting for my reconstruction. It really is doable and although scarey, horrible and frightening you will get through it. Just remember how many woman tread your path and are ok. That's all you need to focus on. Take care and don't google!!!
Sorry to hear you had a meltdown, but you did the right thing by going and seeking help from Macmillan straight away, I hope you're feeling a bit more yourself now.
I have put for you below the link to BCC's publication regarding getting one to one support from one of our volunteers, you are matched as near as we can to someone who is travelling the same path as yourself. Support can be either by phone or email, it's up to you. Have a look at the link and see what you think, I hope you find it helpful. Please also don't forget you are most welcome to give our helpline team a call if you need to talk. Calls are free 0808 800 6000 lines open weekdays 9-5 and Saturdays 10-2.
Sending you lots of virtual hugs Madamjoj! Melt-down as you describe it is a terrible experience. I was there when I was told I had my recurrence- after fourteen years!
Take note of this: You are allowed to cry - it is a normal reaction to this roller-coaster into the unknown. Once you know what you are dealing with it should be easier. You did the right thing going to the Macmillan centre - talking it out is helpful. See if there is a support group you can make contact with - check on the Macmillan website, or ask at the centre.
The other thing worth considering is working with a psychologist - this is not an admission of defeat or a statement that you are 'loony'. It is a way of being helped to address and deal with the fears. Another great strategy is to write it all down,just get the fears out of your system. Manyyears ago my psychologist gave me a three day strategy like this:
Choose a time of day that is convenient
Day one - write down whatever it is that is worrying you
Day two - read what you have written - is there anything you can do about it - if so do so
Day three - Re-read what you have written,then tear it up slowly and deliberately and throw it away
The wait for your results may be tough, so engage yourself in activities you enjoy doing, you are also allowed to have fun!
Hope you have a good day today.
More hugs, Minsterel.
Youtube has a wealth of resources to try. Try the ones by Jason Stephenson.
www.youtube.com/watch?v= jD3VxSGM-k&feature=youtu.be (hope I've copied that correctly!)
Here are some of the other ones I have used
www.omvana.com you can get access to 25 free tracks
If you've not done this before, I suggest you look at the second and third links first.
Hope that helps,
Ask here for the things you want to know as and when you need to know them. It is too easy to be overwhelmed with information. Concentrate on one step at a time. A freind of mine talks about my 'monkey mind' by this she means that it delights in chattering without stop about all the details and the fears. Her suggestion is to have a book to write in, and when 'monkey-mind' starts gabbling, write it down to evacuate it! The unknown is always the worst part of this journey. Once you know what the score is, then we can help you take it on a day by day basis.
Thinking of you,
Jo the title of your post is SO how I feel at the moment...getting the results of my MRI later today. Best case scenario is lumpectomy and radiotherapy and worst case....well, I daren't even let my mind go down that route.
Agree, must stop googling until I know for definite, although it seems that nothing is absolutely definite until after surgery. I have been researching everything from what to take into hospital to wigs, bras, chemo treatments....etc etc
If anyone had told me three weeks ago that I would be grateful to be told I needed an operation and radiotherapy I would have thought them mad. Now it would be a cause for celebration.
Hope all your results are good ones ladies.
I wish you strength in your new and journey. My own original diagnosis was fourteen years ago. It was a very scary time. The support of friends around you, and wise words on a forum can make all the difference. I found keeping a journal very helpful. In it I recorded my feelings, the things I did, the things that worked, the things that were good such as getting movement back in my arm after the mastectomy as well as all the negative stuff. This was not only carthartic, but it gave me things to look back to on the down days. I could see what I had done that helped.
Find ways to relax and enjoy yourself; explore meditation as a tool to help you relax; cultivate a positive outlook - Life goes on or in every way better and better. Remember too that it is ok to cry and be angry, it is normal and it passes. If you need specific information, don't google it in a general way, go to sites you can trust such as this one, or Macmillan. Better still find a support association near you that can help you find reliable information. Take positve steps to learn about your illness as this can help you take back some control.
Good luck, keep in touch.