panicking and tearful!!!

Just got home after 3 days in hospital following lumpectomy and senital node biopsy, still have drain in and very sore. 2 of 4 nodes tested were infected so 70% were removed and got to go back for results on 2nd April. Now absolutely terrified as didn’t think it would get this far!! Just want some positive thoughts as I keep crying, help please!! love Debs xxx

Hi Debs
Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time, sending a (very gentle as you are so sore) (((((hug)))),
Take care
Love
Lizzy

Hi Debs - welcome to the world of panicking, paranoid, raging hypersensitivity! In some ways, the fear seems worse than the disease (OK, it isn’t really, it just feels like that at times.)

In the past six weeks I’ve been through “OMG it’s spread to my liver I’m gonna die” (apparently I have a small gall stone found on the CAT - mostly symptom free) “OMG it’s Grade 3 I’m gonna die” (actually that means it’s likely to be more susceptible to chemo!) “OMG it’s turned to IBC I’m gonna die” (four weeks post op, swelling and a bit of soreness are to be expected, it’s a different hystology anyway, and even if it was the odds are still reasonably good with treatment.)

Here’s the place to let it all out - we all understand!

Hi Debs,welcome to the mad club,no rules and anything goes. I had lumpectomy and sentinal node biopsy,and though had no spread and clear margins am waiting to see oncologist next tue as told I might still be recommended chemo …hey ho.

I still feel like Im dreaming all this and will wake up one day,still all very surreal…I mean whare did all these flowers come from in my house ! You will have good days and not so good days but for me coming on here is great,so much info and support and comfort and we are all in the same boat in varying degrees,don’t know how people coped before the internet !

So whatever you are feeling it’s ok,there is no right or wrong wat of getting through this but have always found someone to relate to,just remember you are not alone,big hugs for you,though don’t squeeze me too much as my boob exploded post op and still a bit drippy ! lol Keep chatting.

Sandra x

thanks lizzy for your hug!

Sandra, I know what you mean about living in a dream, but my god when I wake up all sorts of things hit me! Just keep imagining that the cancer is everywhere, every ache and pain! Totally irrational I know but …

Suzanna its good to know I’m not the only one panicking. Been very down since I got home from hospital going through the why me stage!

Thanks for all support it does help to talk to those who do know what its like! lots of love to you all Debs xxxx

Hi Debs! Just go with the flow and take each day as it comes. I had a mastectomy and 5 nodes removed (all 5 cancerous - whoopeedoo!) in November, so am now just over halfway through chemo., and then have to have full node removal when that’s finished, then radiotherapy after that.

I just keep thinking, well, scan’s were all clear before any treatment, and - hopefully - they still are. I feel like tying a tournequet under my left armpit to make sure nothing strays from that place! Mind over matter ‘stuff’. Easy to say, but I do feel that’s it’s better to let the ‘heavy’ stuff wash over you and enjoy the moment. Too much information depresses me! xx Jacq xx

Hi there, I have just discovered this forum, what a relief to discover I can talk to you ladies who are going through the same ordeal as me. I had lumpectamy and SNB last Thursday. Spent all day yesterday crying and panicking as well. Woke up in this morning and my breast is black and blue and I am experiencing what sounds like fluid sloshing around when I move. Has anyone else had this?
Thought I would feel better once the lump had been removed but now I am worrying about getting the results. I seem to go from one panic to another. Its like being on a roller coaster ( and I’ve never liked them) I have wonderful family and a fantastic best friend but I feel so alone. I will stop now as I could go on and on just pouring out my feelings but I am sure you ladies have enough of your own to deal with

Hi Mandy and welcome to the BCC forums,

You may find BCC’s resource pack helpful, it has been designed for those newly diagnosed. If you would like a copy just follow the link below to order a copy:

breastcancercare.org.uk/server/show/nav.681/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/82

You may also find this general information useful to read about possible effects including swelling following breast surgery, just follow this link:

breastcancercare.org.uk/server/show/nav.387

In addition to the support you will receive here, if you feel it would help to talk to someone in confidence about the concerns you have, then please give the helpline a call, the staff here are all either breast care nurses or people who have personal experience of breast care issues. They can offer you a listening ear, support and information about other services we can offer you to help you through this difficult time. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 the lines open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm and Saturdays 9am - 2pm.

I hope this is of some help to you.

Best wishes
Lucy

Hi Mandy,you pour out all your feelings,better out than in as my granny used to say…and it helps others to know that they are not alone in how they are feeling when they come on here. What’s the expression," a trouble shared is a trouble halved" oooh or something like that.

Re your sloshing, it’s very common,just a build up of fluid usually once you have had your drains out,called a seroma,lots of people here have had this,would suggest you phone your breast care nurse as they usually call you in to drain it off,not a major thing to worry about just a bit of a nuisance as sometimes you have to have it drained a couple of times. I was sore and bruised post op,had the same as you ,just take it easy,don’t do too much and keep doing the exercises for your arm.Ooooh and the waiting is the worst part without a doubt,am waiting to see the oncologist next week to find out what is in store for me… Keep chatting though,it does help, big hugs.

Sandra x

Mandy sounds like you and me are at the same stage, scary isn’t it! Still have my drain so not had sloshing around yet, but boob still blue from dye. Wish the results came quicker!! lets moan together! love Debs xxx

Hi Debs and Mandy

Like the others say, try and just take it easy and let it happen. No point in holding it in though, or denying your worries, you’ll just end up more stressed. I’m almost half way through chemo now having had the lumpectomy on 24 Dec. The 2 weeks waiting for results were very, very long, and I had all the same thoughts you’re expressing. In the end though, like Jacq says, let the big “what ifs” wash over you and live each day at a time, remembering there are still a lot of roses out there to smell. Results will come soon enough, and hopefully you’re going to get excellent news! :slight_smile:

I didn’t have any drains at all. I got that sloshing for 2-3 days post op then it drained away itself. Keep an eye on it though. If you have drains that should be ok, but with or without drains if you feel sore and it’s not getting better, check with your BC nurse, particularly if you don’t have drains. It might be a minor infection that needs a wee bit of attention, or more fluid than the drains can handle. It’s not a problem, just something to check.

You’ll do fine. Just think happy shiny thoughts as often as possible. We’re all here to help every step of the way too.

Oh, and the blue dye - it might take quite a while to disappear. Mine is 3 months old now. Fading gradually and now very light blue, but I’m thinking summertime here. :smiley:
Carole

Just wondering how long people have found the swelling lasts after a lumpectomy? I’m now 4 weeks post-op, and still quite swollen - maybe because I’ve had very little pain in my breast I’m being a bit premature in expecting the swelling to have gone down?

Im 4 weeks post op and have had 2 major boob explosions and cant work out if am still swollen or has my consultant not really taken a huge lump out …,my incision half way round my areola scoop out and neatly stiched back up,still have hard area all around the incision but it has def decreased in size,whole nipple area feels numb but sore,so still a bit tender,however,underarm scar is fantastic and given me no bother and arm movement as good as was before op. Think it all depends on where your lump was and how deep they had to go and everyone is different in how they bruise/heal etc.

Glad to hear you are doing well, I am hopefully having drain out today, had op last Friday, still sore especially in the armpit area but doing my exercises! Debs xxx

Hi Debs et all

Glad to things are okay after your op.You sound as if you’re doing really well and should hopefully be even better once the drains are out today.

I think you’re a little further down the line than me so reading your experiences are a help to me. It gives me a realistic insight as to what to expect.

It’s funny how our emotions can go up and down so easily isn’t it?For some mad reason, I’m feeling better today as I am getting my results later. I know they may not be good but hopefully it will be better once I know what treatment is planned etc.

Keep doing those exercises,

Love

Freddie xxxxxxxxxx

hi there Debs and Mandy…You’ve come to the right place. Let all your fears and thoughts oout here…there will always be someone to listen and respond to you. It’s a supportive and informative site. Take it one step at a time and things won’t feel quite as overpowering! The waiting is the worst thing ever…it gives you time to think about different scenarios. So while you are waiting, try and keep busy…as far as you are able. I had two ops recently, and am waiting for my next set of results…WAITING is the worst!!
Here’s some good vibes coming your way>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.

{{{{{hugs}}}}}
helenxx

thanks, read a book today! went to tescos husband did all the lifting and came back exhausted! Emotions come and go in waves, up and down at the drop of a hat! But hopefully will get there in the end! Keep going girls and thanx for replies Debs xxxx