Even though I’m 12 years down the line from my first BC & 7 years on from a local recurrence I can’t seem to move away from the fear that cancer will eventually get me! Every time I have the slightest ailment I’m on the internet & inevitably I find that my symptoms are those of cancer. I have been worried sick for the past couple of weeks about a vaginal discharge & have convinced myself that it’s ovarian/cervical cancer. I know I should go to the doctors but I’m just too scared. I don’t think anyone who hasn’t had cancer would understand the absolute fear. My husband thinks I’m just paranoid! In my logical moments I know it’s more likely to be something more common but all that goes out of the window when I wake up in the middle of the night absolutely terrified. All this sounds so silly but it’s ruining my life at the moment. Even as I type that it sounds ridiculous. Sorry
It’s really horrible how you imagine everything is a worst case scenario, I think because you get such a fright on diagnosis nothing is really the same again, it’s very difficult not to think about bc.
Maybe you can also have a referral from your docs or is there a Maggies nearby? Phone the helpline on here they will help point you in the right direction I’m sure. Take care xx
As katytc has mentioned please do give the BCC helpline a call and talk things through with one of our trained members of staff. Here you can share your feelings and concerns with someone who will offer you emotional support and practical infromation. The number is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open today until 2pm and then Monday to Friday 9 to 5pm.
Oh Lbx157, I’m sure many, many of us can sympathise with your feelings. As katytc says, being diagnosed with BC is so shocking, often as it can come out of the blue (I was 32 and felt perfectly well) that you just can’t help doing what psychologists call “awfulizing” (i.e. imagining the worst case scenario and projecting the most terrible outcome even if it hasn’t happened yet) After all, getting the BC diagnosis proved that sometimes the worst case scenario is unfortunately true. It is completely and utterly natural and understandable that you will be terrified of being in a similar situation again.
Congratulations on being brave enough to go to the doctors, I hope very very much that it is nothing and she/he can put your mind at rest. Please continue to post on here, your husband may not be able to understand (you are right, it is hard for people who have not been there to understand the terror) but we on here certainly do, and you will always find a sympathetic ear.
Best wishes to you and good luck for your appointment. Much love xxx
Well I’ve now seen the doctor and he wants me to have a smear and a swab done but they can’t do it till next Tuesday! Why do they have to drag these things out, I would have liked it done today. I could kick myself for leaving it so long now, it’s just dragging things out for me.
Thank you everybody for all your support, you are a great bunch of people.
hi lbx57 at least you had the courage to go dr in the end it hard tho you pluck up the courage to go and you want it sorted there and then in my mind id be thinking im here now just do it lol ive got my fingers crossed for you be thinking of you tue big hugs and try not to worrie i no easier said than done xxxx
