post chemo positive lymph nodes,

[Clessa]

Hi I was dx 2.5 years ago and modes clear and had delayed reconstruct 6 m ago. But had scan last Monday showing suspicious nodes after feeling lump under arm. They took biopsy. Get results on wed but so scared. Have CT booked too for next Mondsy. I am 49, nearly 50. Yes I've got the songs and music done too!

[46juliey]

Hi all

I have been reading posts on the forum for a few months but have never posted before.  I had surgery in May 14 to remove the lump Grade 3 and 16 lymph nodes (13 of which were cancerous). When I first discovered the lump they were amazed I found it as it was so small.  I then started 6 rounds of FECT Chemotherapy on 10th July 14 and 15 sessions of radiotherapy which finished on 12th December and started Tamoxifenon 13th December 14.

I managed to stay positive most of the time throughout treatment but then about two weeks after I finished felt very anxious about the cancer returning,  My family find it hard to understand as they say the treatment is over and I've beat it.  I tried to explain to my Son that my life will never quite be the same again as if I get a pain I will always be scared the cancer is returning as my Oncologist said it can return in any part of your body, but my Son just thinks I'm giving up and I've lost my fight - if only they knew what a fight we've all been through! I don't think anybody can ever understand unless they've been through it. I decided I don't want to live my life in fear so I asked my GP to refer me to a Counsellor to talk it through and to see how I can manage and cope with the anxiety. I had my first assessment and it did help to talk to someone outside the family.

It is very reassuring to come on here and see other people feel the same and have the same anxieties and it is not just me.  Even though you have family support sometimes you can feel isolated having cancer but I think it shows just how strong we all are xxx

[Catweasel]

Hi Balli-Boo
I don't know if your question was aimed at me but my original surgery was a mastectomy.
A friend was going through all this the same time last year. She had a mastectomy, followed by chemotherapy because the cancer was quite aggressive & chemo shrinks it, then she had lymph node clearance followed by four weeks radiotherapy & is now on tamoxifen for four years.
My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer over ten years ago now and her treatment was completely different to mine. It all depends on how aggressive the cancer is etc as to how your own treatment is worked out and treatment is tailored to the individual so in case nobody has mentioned this to you before, whilst you go for all your treatments you are on a kind of roller coaster going from one sort of hospital appointment to another. Then once treatment stops your mind has to catch up with all that your body has been through and that for me has been the hardest part (and still is). At present I am waiting to be referred to a counsellor as I am finding things a bit difficult to cope with and am supposed to return to work shortly though on a phased return (I think my sleepless nights are because of this and the fact I should like to finish work altogether).
That's where I am at present, body healed and not too bad, mind in a completely different place!
Love and best wishes xxx

[Balli-Boo]

Hi.

What was your original surgery ? 

Mine

WLE / SNB back in Nov 2014.

I am on FEC T chemo, got 2nd one on Friday. I started on the T part first for some reason.

1 out of 1 SN was slightly positive hence chemo. Oestrogen positive. HER2 negative.

Axillary clearance to follow.

The radio after that and Tamoxifen. 

I havent come across many, just one other, that had T first.

I dont understand why I need axillary clearance other then to be100% certain but I thought the chemo

would have seen to that. You seem to have had chemo then axillary clearance. 

I too am 53.

I dont log on that often as have joined a FB group just for Jan chemo starters. 

Hope you find the support that you need.

All the best.

[Catweasel]

Hi farawaytree. My experience was very similar except I only had 1 positive node & they were all removed prior to chemo. I am 54 and finished all hospital treatment in November & most of my friends think I should be back to 'normal' but things are not that easy. For the best part of a year you go through the mill with different hospital appointments, which then just stop. Then your head has to process what your body has been through and each day is different, one day up, the next down. I am going a walk as often as I can, have just been for my first yoga experience ( wish I had found it sooner). I am shortly going on both the 'Movong Forward' and a course run by my local hospital to assist with exercises and coming to terms with everything that has happened (similar type of thing but as me head is all over the place am quite prepared to try anything and everything on offer). My best friend does not appreciate what I have been through so as I can't talk to her (which I would normally), I have been referred to a counsellor. This is really because I am due to return to work on a phased return but thinking about it too much so can't sleep & don't want to take anti depressants as am taking too many already, Letrozole, Alendronic acid & Vit D3 for the osteopenia.
On the plus side my hair is growing and though not going without a hat outside, I am tempted to go without a wig tonight when I go out.
I didn't like the prosthesis much because it is very heavy but last week went for a proper mastectomy bra to be fitted and straight away it felt a lot better.
I have had a mixture of up and down days and try to stay positive and whilst some friends have been there all the time, some have drifted away probably thinking that now treatment has finished I will be ok.
I do try to get out as much as possible and whilst it may be the last thing on your mind, sometimes a short walk can help.
The road to recovery can be a long one apparently but with time, patience and their forum I'm sure we will get there.
Wishing you all the best.xxx

[Lucy_BCC]

Hi farawaytree and welcome to the BCC forums

I am sure you will find shared experiences and support here from others who understand how you are feeling, our helpliners are also on hand 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Saturdays on 0808 800 6000 so please feel free to call to talk your concerns through with one of our team

You may find our 'Moving forward' information and further support ideas helpful, here's the link:

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/moving-forward

Take care
Lucy BCC

[Farawaytree]

Hi all, Im new to this forum so pleased to meet you all, I have completed all my treatment surgery, 6 chemo, then axillary clearance, 15 radiotherapy.

Now on Letrozole, have been told that post chemo I had 13 positive lymph nodes, I had a Ki of 60%. HER2 pos.

Im 53 going through lots of anguish  I'm swinging between get on with it and wait and see and then choosing songs for my own funeral.

Im not depressed i just tend to work my way through it but i dont really have anyone to talk through these worries as I know my oncologist cannot be any more definite than ''high risk'',

Is there anyone else out there with a similair medical scenario who can offer some info.

Thanks.