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"Diagnosed in February"

Fuffs123
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Welcome new ladies to the 'snivel' club! Club rules are as follows;| the words 'stay positive are banned unless you have dispensation from the committee. Nor do we wish to hear about ladies who spring clean the entire house the day after their mastectomy or who dig the foundations for a house during their chemo cycles. Acceptable behaviour is feeling like you want to go to bed and stay there. having a good bawl and feeling very sorry for yourself. Mandatory rule is eat as much chocolate or cake as you want, unless you are feeling too queasy to do so. Oh I forgot. Anyone who says 'there are much better treatments for BC these days than when my mother/ aunt/ friend had it' Yes, is if you consider that having your boobs chopped about, being irradiated and then poisoned is 'better than before'. Ha ha! Any other rules we can think of? Xx Francine
Restless
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Definitely count me in. Nothing like a good snivel. Feeling all strong and positive today, but I know it won't last. We are entitled to the odd breakdown ladies. Single or double mastectomy on 11th March, will know which this week, at least if it's both they will match!!
Wendyy
Volunteer

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Count me in!!! I'm further down the line than most of you and mostly feel ok, but turned the calendar today....March MRI results I'm sure cake and cocktails would take my mind off pending appt xx
Chez666
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

I'm in too please 🏆🏆🏆 x x
Welshgirl-1
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

This forum is a life saver. I know it's not nice but it's reassuring to hear from people in the same boat (if that makes sense)! Had bone scan last week, ct scan on tue and oncologist on wed. Dreading that, but at least then I'll know for deffo what's happening, they said chemo first but wondering if it'll change by then. That's why I'm holding off on shaving my hair off!! Still can't believe it's happening, and I feel fine so makes it worse I suppose, apart from head in the shed all the time!! Just popping on to say thanks for all your stories, here's to getting rid of the unwanted visitor!! Virtual hugs Heidi xxx

P.s. I deffo want to join that club 😊👍
13gerbera
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Sainsbury's is obviously a dangerous place Francine as one of our other ladies was saying she had a meltdown there when someone took the last packet of chocolate biscuits that she had wanted for herself! Smiley Very Happy

 

Supermarkets I can do - just have a meltdown every time I get anywhere near a surgeon as I can't rid myself of the notion that they are intelligent sadists who would otherwise be doing unspeakable things to people in dark alleyways; I can't see any other reason for someone to want to spend their life chopping people up! Pretty sure the consultant surgeons in my hospital now draw straws to see who has to put up with me at my visits as I turn into a whingy, sulky teenager-ey brat who questions their every word (one of the consultants very patiently reminded me that he was the cavalry and not the enemy but I'm still not convinced!)

xx

Sharon

newey47
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

yes please Francine, Im in Val x

Fuffs123
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Welcome Cocolily and Gerbera13 to the club! Great idea, award for the most embarrassing meltdown. I should like to nominate mine in Sainsburys, when they ran out of apple sauce for my Sunday roast! End of the world it was and I sobbed in front of a shopful, lol. Interestingly enough, people either moved away from me very quickly, in case I was deranged, or gave me tissue! One even gave me a hug, ah. Do I win?!
13gerbera
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Yup, I'm in too! Can we also have an Oscar-style award ceremony for most embarrassing public meltdown?  

xx

Sharon

Cocolily
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Count me in x
Fuffs123
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Right ladiesI'm about to inaugurate the IDAFPLMSS CLUB! Stands for ' I don't always feel positive. let me snivel' Club. Who wants to join? Must like cocktails and cakes and a good snivel1 xx Francine xx
newey47
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Alison, yes of course it is normal.  We have all been there and done that.  Then have very positive moments too.  I am sure we will continue to feel up and down like this for some time to come. Val x

giugi
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Just popping on to send hugs....love to all Gules xx

Cocolily
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Thank you very much for your kind words xx
Molliana
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Best wishes for yours too. I am sure however you are imagining it to be it won't be anywhere near as bad x
I am having a reconstruction at the same time. Nervous. Trying just to focus on the op at the moment and not look further ahead to all the treatment after. It's hard x
Cocolily
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

They have found in mine but hopefully not in too many .. Will know 2 weeks after op .. Hope your op goes well too .. Xxx
Molliana
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Oh ok. I only had snb when I had my lumpectomy. they took two lymph nodes and a micro bit was found in one. I am not having all my lymph nodes out until my mastectomy on 17th march 😞
Cocolily
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

That's good to hear .. I am having all my L nodes out as well so hopefully all goes well x
Molliana
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Cocolily. I know you said you aren't concerned about getting through the op but just wanted to say I have had two WLE now and the first one I had got myself into a complete state. But afterwards I felt a bit silly. There really wasn't much to it. I went to theatre at 2 and was home eating dinner at 5.30.
Molliana
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Someone actually said to me if I don't stay strong and positive then I won't get through it! cheers then!
Cocolily
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Yes Fuffs123, a great idea .. I completely agree .. Xx
13gerbera
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

I'd like to join that club Fuffs, can we get badges made and have regular meetings over cocktails? Woman LOL I'm sick and tired of being told to 'stay strong', 'be positive' 'be glad that you're alive'. I am all of those things of course but feel I should be allowed to be grumpy and miserable occasionally about some of the less than wonderful stuff without feeling I'm letting the side down.  I've yet to hear a convincing reason for feeling 'glad' to have a mangled boob, desiccated skin from radiotherapy and the possibility of yet more surgery that may or may not correct my lop-sidedness.  

 

Sorry, rant over *slinks away feeling guilty for being so shallow*

xx

Sharon

Fuffs123
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Yep, sometimes, I think if I hear 'stay positive' one more time I'm going to scream! Of course, I know that it's important to do that but personally I do wonder if us ladies just shouldn't allow ourselves to feel like c*** when we do! After all, we're going thro a horrible thing and some of us have young children to deal with as well (not me fortunately but I'm due for genetic testing, so still worry about my 30 yr old daughter) Shall we start the 'i don't feel positive and I'm proud club' ?!!!😃
Cocolily
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Hi Mollina .. Knowing that there are others with the same worries helps .. I too worry about my bad back might be related.
Hopefully we are all here to support each other x
Molliana
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

I feel the same. I am worried about all the aches and pains, my four year old, how I just cannot get through it. Everytime I wait for results I imagine the worst. Then I think that everyone says it's all about being positive and when I realise I am not being I think I have blown it.
In reality I am sure that not how it works but you are definitely not alone x
Cocolily
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Thank you Fuffs123, I am trying to be positive but when I get upset I feel I am letting everyone down including myself thinking I won't get through it if I am not positive - hope that makes sense. Yes I do get to sleep but am always awake now by 5am which is when I read all the posts on this great forum. Feel like I can say what I need to without upsetting the other half .. Thank you for your message and knowing others feel like this really helps me x
Fuffs123
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Hi Alison
Morning! Sleeping problems?! We all know that one! I'm now well acquainted with the workings of my overactive brain at 3am and 4am and 5am come to that! How you're feeling now, most of us have gone through so take heart,you're not alone. A BC Is a big shock and I found the initial rather numb, surreal feeling kept me quite calm initially. However, once it sunk in, i was s mess! Kept having 'meltdowns' and could cry for England! Husband was scared of saying anything in case it set me off, poor chap! But take strength from us in this unwelcome club but one that is full of lovely people. It will mot be as bad as you think, the fear of it is often worse than the reality and you will get through it. The waiting is the worse thing I think nut once you are 'on the road' you just deal with it somehow. You are stronger than you think, believe me. Keep posting. It helps so much talking to others who have gone through the same thing. Sending you virtual hugs. Xx
Cocolily
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

I've been really calm about it since being diagnosed (think I over worried and sent myself mad whilst waiting for results) but yesterday didn't stop crying ! Op this Friday .. Keep on thinking I won't make it through .. Not the op but the whole treatment etc .. Is this normal ? Alison x
newey47
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

yes I wonder why too - but they must know what they are doing? good luck to everyone x

Cocolily
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

I do trust them and feel safe with them. When you read everyone's messages and we are all so different in our treatments I just wonder ehy sometimes. Anyone else have their op this week ? X
newey47
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Hi Cocolily Well I am sure your team know what they are doing, so put your trust in them.... they have a lot of experience between them - much more than us anyway. It will all turn out fine I am sure of that. Take Care Val x
Cocolily
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Hi Val. No choice I'm afraid. I was told they are very thorough in their tests and they decide what I am having .. I think by having a mastectomy it won't come back so I am worried mine will .. Op next week Friday lump and sll L nodes .. Just want it over with as soon as possible xxxx
newey47
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Hi Rita welcome to this awful bur very supportive forum.  You are in a similar state to me except 2 lumps so mastectomy, and lymph node clearance (the bit I am dreading).  You are being operated on quick thats good.  I was diagnosed 9th Feb not operating until 10th March - however I did have CT and bone scan first- which is I suppose how my hospital does it - they were all clear thank god.  Apart from a small amount of back deterioration - I am 56 - and have had problems with it on occasion but nothing major - and they said nothing to worry about - no big C anyway anywhere else.

Your op is now only a coupl of days away - lucky you - would like to get mine out of the way tbh.

Still using time to get sorted for afterwards.  Even got a wig appointment for when I have chemo - I dont want to wait till afterwards when I might be feeling low or unwell.  While I am fit and healthy (lol) I am getting organised.

I havent had any mention of Radiotherapy at all, just op, chemo and hormone as I am ER+.  Rest of results after surgery (2 weeks) so maybe know more then I suppose.

Take care, good luck for Tuesday and keep in touch - we need all the friends, support, help and advice we can get at a time like this.

Val x

Rita11
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Thank you. I have the pack as my wonderful Macmillan nurse gave this to me and link to this forum. Took til now for me to want to look. Now glad I did. Been tough week as my mother also had surgery this week.
Sam_BCC
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Hi Rita11

 

Firstly, welcome to the forums, I am sure you will find it a great source of information and support. I'm sorry to read of your diagnosis, the first few days and weeks are always difficult when coming to terms with things and getting to grips with your treatment plans, etc.

 

As well as the support you will receive on the forums you might find it helpful to order the BCC resources pack. It has been specifically designed for those newly diagnosed and contains information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available. If you would like to order a copy just follow the link bellow:-

 

http://www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/diagnosed-breast-cancer/resource-pack-primary-early...

 

Also, do give the helpline a ring if you need any further support or information. They're on 0808 800 6000. Open 9-5 Monday to Friday and 10-2 Saturday.

 

Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator

 

Rita11
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Hi new to forum. Never joint one before. Diagnosed Friday the 13th of Feb! Stage 2 and spread to lymph nodes. Mastectomy and axillary clearance surgery on the 3rd of March. Need chemo, radio and her herceptin afterwards. CT scan Monday and worried about no not knowing results until after surgery but surgeon said made no difference as even if spread further would operate. Glad to be joining a forum where others understand.
newey47
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Hi Francine

Oh dear - yes well at the time I am sure it seemed a good idea to fund your business with your house and with hindsight we would have all maybe acted differently.  I certainly wouldnt have given up work!!! We were going to do another room this year (we have two) which would have brought in more income that I was earning so it seemed like a good idea.  Now that room (my bedroom) will be put aside, as Iwill need my sanctuary to retire to at times and I cant expect the OH to do that much on his own.So we will be limited to the income of 2rooms - hopefully it will be a busy year - .

Sorry to hear about your husband too, but he is on the mend now at least.

Good for you there is no lymph node involvement as I believe that is the worst part of the surgery - will soon find that out.

I do try to lay off the reading - but find I always go back to it - even to the point of how long am I going to live lol - stupid.

Trying now to just read about the stage I am at now - its all too much to take in at once.  Thats why the forum is so good, we are all in the same boat in different ways - but it is good to share our experiences.

keep in touch and take care - Val

rosie_ree
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

I'm slightly further behind than all of you at the moment, diagnosed last Wednesday and tests for spread on Thursday so now I'm just waiting to be told. Newey I am the same size as you so I'm expecting a mastectomy and was also thinking about the whole pert and saggy situation.
For me this hasn't yet affected my life, I'm having to arrange my appointments to suit me as I have a one year old and my husband is military so not always here. We are miles from family so if he isn't here then I can't go to appointments but I'm OK with this (the hospital not so much with my constant rearranging) but life goes on.
Your all such strong ladies, stay positive x
Fuffs123
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Hi Val
It's a b**** isn't it! We sold our house in 2011 to fund my business, at the age of nearly 60! Mad or what?! I gave up my job and now I think 'why did I do that and at least I could have been receiving sick pay and recovering at my own pace at home. Not been a good year for us as my husband had a heart attack and had to have surgery and now this - we know how to do in style here!
Got my results yesterday and may need chemo and more surgery but at least no lymph node involvement. Waiting to see oncologist and counsellor re genetic testing due to family history. At least I don't have face to face contact with my customers like you. Must be sooo hard putting on a brave front when you feel like s good weep! I'm feeling a bit more in to the business than I did when I just had the op. My husband is doing a great job keeping it going but needs my input for the trickier stuff. We test water systems care homes etc and if results are not good you need to know about how to advise them. Over 3000 people visited our website last month and the shame is that the business is really growing at a time when I can't put my energies in to it. That's life! As you say, all you can do is carry on and take each step at a time. I'm reading lots too and using Dr Google (not such a good thing sometimes). I have a huge wadge of booklets from the hospital which have now replaced my usual bedtime reading. So much more enjoyable (not) reading about the effects of chemotherapy and what to expect after a mastectomy than Catherine Cookson novels, lol. Keep in touch. Francine xx
newey47
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Hi Cocolily

 

surely you can request a mastectomy if you would prefer? awful to have a delay but at least just one day. I am trying to keep away from infections so I can have min on 10th march - havent seen grandsons (5) cos they have scarlet fever at mo. Take carex Val x

newey47
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Hi Karen

We all felt exactly the same as you dont worry.  It is all the not knowing that is SO hard.  It drags on, people ask you whats happening...... I had my op booked so told people, but then wasnt sure if they would do that first or chemo so couldnt say anything for deffo.  This was very hard on me (us) but also everyone else.  Once you know exactly whats happening you will feel much better.  I havent cried again since I  was told it hadnt spread to any organs. This was such a relief.  So although its breast, mastctomy and lymph node clearance, it could be so much worse.

I can now concentrate on whats going to happen, when and deal with it.  It is now doable, the what ifs have mostly gone.  It is curable and I can deal with it.  You will feel much the same when you get your final results.  It is just a list of practical steps to go through and get done.

Good luck for Monday - keep us up to date 

val x

newey47
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

hi restless

your op is the day after mine.  I am having left mastectomy and lymph node clearance, which apparently is worse than the boob op.  Toyed with the idea of a flap reconstruction, but would be in a hospital nearly 100 miles away and much moremajor surgery.  So opted for simple reconstruction.  Which will probably leave me lop sided, one pert boob and one droopy one lol.  Still can do more about that in the future if I so wished.  Cross that bridge when I come to it.  Just want to get rid at the moment and get well.  Lymphnode clearance Can cause all sorts of problems now and in future.  But no choice it has to be done. Told that I will have chemo and probably hormone therapy as min is ER +.

Keep strong and occasional wobbles is fine.  Instead of all the what ifs, and has it spreadm I am now just trying to deal with the practicalities of it all.  Got wig appointment next weds - they dont tell you about that till after the op but I might not be up to it then.  I want everything ready and in place before the op.  List of purchases to make too, eye drops, creams, etc etc

Ever practical and organised me.

Val x

newey47
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Hi Fluffs

I know where youa are coming from.  I too run a small b and b business with my fiance.  Gave up other paid work just before xmas, should have stayed then I would have been on full pay through this......

You have to keep going to pay the bills, and we have to be happy in front of guests to keep them happy.  Was hard before I had the full picture i.e. has it spread.  But now we know the extent, 2 lumps and lymph nodes I can deal with it better.  Not crying all the time now.  Just need to be practical and get all theis out of the way, step by step.  Trying to keep myself informed, I have never read so much, just so I am aware of all eventualities.

and YES we are stronger than we think - well we dont really have a choice.

Val

Restless
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Oh Fuffs, I feel for you. We have all had and will have days like that. BC does change life doesn't it? Sometimes it feels like you can't plan anything because you don't know what will be happening. My thoughts are with you x
newey47
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Hi judith, sorry you have had to join us all.  I wasnt given a choice, two lumps and "petite" boobs apparently no good for lumpectomy lol, never realised 38b was petite lol.  So full Mastectomy and reconstruction on left on 10th March.  I have been much more positive since I have been given nearly the whole story.  Its just practicalities now, I am not going to die......... Operation, healing, chemo and Hormone therapy. Not sure if anything else yet. Very anxious to get it all happening now.  Take Care Val

Fuffs123
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

Morning lovely ladies. Well where's the other box of tissues, i need it! After being quite calm and positive yesterday when I got my results, this morning I made the mistake of watching some video of a family wedding that I couldn't go to yesterday, because I had to go to the hospital. I missed seeing all my family, including my sister and nephews, who live a long way from me and we don't get the chance for us all to be together very often. Feels like the BC has already started to take things away from me, irrational I know. It's only been a month since I was first diagnosed, had lumpectomy etc and now have results, which were not quite as good as I hoped. Whilst such prompt and amazing treatment on the NHS is a blessing, It hasn't given me much time to process it all. And I'm trying to keep my business going at the same time. Now more waiting to see onc and talk about genetic screening, due to family history. . Just a wobble day I think, need large cup of tea and hug from husband! ! I cannot imagine trying to go through this without support so I send big hugs to anyone who is and to everyone else of course. Xx
Restless
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

You are right Alison, all the uncertainty and waiting is the worst. Although I still need to wait to see if double mastectomy or single I have now got my head around it and I will cope whatever. Will be nervous about results after op though as grade can change. Still, we will face whatever comes won't we? None of us are alone x
Cocolily
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

I'm glad you know know what is happening. I think the unknown is the worst part. My operation delayed from Thursday next week to Friday, only 1 day so I am fine with that but just want the op over and done with. Wish I was having a mastectomy but they have said a lumpectomy with l nodes out. Xx
Restless
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

That should read boob job, autocorrect has messed up a few times there, but you will get the gist!
Restless
Member

Re: "Diagnosed in February"

It's funny how one day you can feel so down and the next much more positive. I had 8biopsues done from the left breast yesterday. Felling totally battered and bruised. But in the upside I now have a date for my op. On 11th March I am booked for mastectomy, sentinel node biopsy and reconstruction (with an implant as apparently I haven't got enough fat for anything else!!). Just need to wait to see now whether it will be one boob or both that go. Results on Friday. Will be getting a free book job for my birthday! Karen-Tamoxifen will be given if you are ER and PR+, like me, if you were HER2 positive you would need herceptin. Sure they would tell you. I still don't know about chemotherapy but surgeon says is likely. Will know for sure after op. Much calmer now I know the date for the op, although still occasional wobbles.