scared and lonely

Hi, my name is Maura
I found out a few years ago I am a carrier of BRAC2 cancer gene, there is family history, I had a MRI in December, then a mammogram and biopsy on Tuesday (3 days ago) confirmed that yes I have breast cancer. Due to the history and risk I have to have a double masectomy then reconstruction with implants.
I am not sure what grade, type, size etc and have no idea what questions to ask. I am scared of the future and dont want to die. I am a single mum with 2 small boys - 3 and 1 1/2 and I dont want to leave them.
I hope this forum will give me safe space to say what im feeling without worrying about family and friends or being embarrassed
Maura

Hi Maura and welcome to the BCC forums

I am sure your fellow users will be along soon with support and shared experiences and in addition our helpliners are on hand weekdays 9-5 and Saturdays 10-2 on 0808 800 6000 with a listening ear and further support

You may also find the BCC ‘Younger women’s’ information page helpful, you will see some links to publications, information and other services we can offer you such as the ‘Younger women’s forums’ where you can meet other women with similar issues to you, you can access it here:

Take care

Lucy

Hello Maura
Everyone is going to do everything that they can to make sure that you aren’t going to die and leave your little boys. I remember the nurse who walked me down to theatre when I had the biopsies done - she turned to me and said in a very calm voice “we will get you through this”. I was stage 3 at dx - and I am going no where.
You are in a very safe space here - you can say what you want, ask what you want. Nothing is a silly question. We all understand and are all here to support you and hold your hand.
Big gentle hug from me x

Hi Maura x I’m so sorry you are here but one thing is we all know what you are going through & understand your fears ,I was dx 11th Dec & all I can say is the not knowing is definately the worst part , I knew after my surgery I had cancer & had spread to my lymph nodes but that was all & it was only when I got my results on Tuesday have I found some comfort .
I have a 6yr old daughter & cannot tell you what has gone through my mind over these last few weeks but hang on in there ! this site is fab for reading threads & realising your not the only one in this nightmare but also be able to discuss openly without burdening well meaning friends or in my case elderly loving parents , my hardest part was telling the people I loved & who loved me & seeing them upset .
Everything you said struck a chord with me cos I felt the same ,Keep busy with your children & this site is wonderful because your not alone
Karen x

Hi Maura,
It is so scary when you’re first diagnosed. I was diagnosed with a grade 3 (very aggressive), 4cm tumour in mid-Dec; plus it’s in my lymph nodes (great!). I’m having a mastectomy and lymph removal next week. The waiting has been such a stressful time, but the first couple of weeks were the worse; it’s a lot to take in and to get your head round. I used to get waves of sheer panic and dread, but this did pass after a couple of weeks. I felt better when I told my family and friends (they were wonderful) and now I just can’t wait to get my boob off and start chemo.
I take it you’re young as you have small children. There is an excellent facebook group called ‘Younger Breast cancer network’: there is an initial facebook page and then if you send a message explaining who you are and your situation, they will add you to the ‘private secret group’ to chat freely. There are over 200 young women on this site (women under 45 years I think) all at various stages of their treatment. The facebook has been a massive daily support to me.
Big hugs xx

Hi Maura, you have come to the right place. I’m nearly a year on from diagnosis. Had a mammogram on the 20th jan 2012 and have had a mastectomy, chemo, rads and now on hormone treatment. I’m due to have a recon op hopefully in March. It will seem like a being on a roller coaster in the next few weeks and months to come, but you will find lots of support on here. I don’t have children and admire those of you who have to go through this looking after a family. But they will also give you something to focus on. It’s not a walk in the park, but you will do it. I joined the forum when I started chemo, I joined a thread about starting chemo in April. We were really supportive of each other as we all knew what each other was going through.
You said you were a single mum so I hope you have got other people, friends and family who can help you out. And please let them. But you can also come on here when you want to rant, let out your feelings when others don’t quite understand.
Take care, you will get through it as you have so much to get through for.
Gaynor xxx

facebook page is:
Younger Breast Cancer Network (UK) Secret Group
very safe and you will speak to people like yourself x

Thanks for these supportive comments, i will check out the facebook page thank you. I split from my ex husband last year but thankfully he is going to look after the children more at weekends and i have lots of family and close friends wanting to help. I am emotional this weekend, meeting plastic surgeon on Tuesday and surgery scheduled for 14th Feb!!