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so frightened that I can't speak.

26 REPLIES 26
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Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Overjoyed for you Lilly50,
lots of love
Andrea x

Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

It will always be great to hear from you Christine, but hopefully you can just "pop in" as you say! Hope all goes well for the future for you, and that the diabetes is not too troublesome. Sarah x

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Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

thanks girls,its over 24hrs since i got the all clear and its only now sinking in that for this moment in time,i get my previous life and plans back,in the furture,who knows.I don't feel like jumping for joy,just relieved that i've escaped this time.I know how lucky i am but i'm very aware that things could've turned out so different.

for now,i'll go back to having 'just' diabetes,a condition that i live with every day and uptil the last few days,thought was hard to deal with,i now know theres other conditions that makes diabetes pale into insignifigance in the big picture of things.I'm a mod on a low carb diabetes board but for the past few days,i couldn't even log on there,let alone mention what i was feeling,thank you all for your support and kind words and my very best wishes to all of you brave and caring people,i'm humbled to have met you.I hope you all don't mind if i check in here every now and again to see how you all are doing.

thank you,

Christine xxx

Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Hi Lilly

Really really thrilled for you, its brilliant news - I want to celebrate with you - off to make a cup of tea with a huge smile on my face.

Magsi x

Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Hi Lilly - Yes, what wonderful news, and a huge relief. As the others have said, it will take a while to come down from this again, so be gentle with yourself! Hope you don't need us again, but someone will always be here! Sarah x

Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Hi Lilly

Fab news so pleased for you, make sure you spoil yourself and give yourself time to get over the past couple of days of stress.

Best wishes for the future

Karen

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Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Hi Lilly,
great that you've had such good news, it will indeed take a while for you to get back to normal after such a worrying & stressful time, don't be too hard on yourself and allow some time to recover.
Best wishes rivergirl x

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Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

If I were you I'd have it removed - I was told my lump was benign and it was cancer. I had all the tests too

Mole

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Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

i think the last 2 days have been the longest and worst days of my life.
When i got to the hospital,everyone was so nice,it took 5 x-rays for them to find my lump and then i had to see the doctor.

She told me her name but i was so paralysed with fear that i couldn't even remember my name,let alone hers.Anyway,she showed me my mamo and the area they were looking at,it was at the back of the breast,near the top and it looked like a see-though blob.She couldn't decide what it was so did an ultrsound where it looked like a black hole.

at this point,she thought it was b-9 but to be sure,she did a fine needle aspiration and i had an hour and a half to wait for the results...that was the worst part as i went from confident to despair every minute.

when i was finally called in,she gave the thumbs up,it was a b-9 fibroadenoma and nothing to worry about.Shes writing to my doc so it doesn't get flagged on my next mamo in 3 years.

i thought i'd be jumping for joy at this point and yet i'm not.I'm pleased these 2 days are over and that all is well and i've nothing to worry about but the whole experience has left me humbled and in awe of those that have to cope with a different dx.

i will never take my health for granted again,i've learned so much about BC from you all,i've learned that even with a positive dx,its not the end of the world and with the support of the people that are here,the journey back to health wouldn't need to be done alone.

i can't thank you all enough for your time and concern for me in my hours of need and if theres ever anything i can do to help,i'll be here.
For now,my tears are happy ones but in the future,who knows...my very best wishes to you all.

Christine xxxx

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Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Good luck lilly will be thinking of you.

Keep holding the one you love and feel his strength

Sending you a big hug too xx

Duffy x

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Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Good luck Lilly

GILL X

Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Hi Lilly
yes praying too that I will be nothing to worry about.
with love

Pauline

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Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Good Luck Lilly xx

Yvonne x

Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Lilly Good luck. I prey it will be nothing, fingers crossed, but if it is something, everyone on here will give you lots of support. Thats one thing I can guarantee!

Hugs Jxxx

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Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

thank you so much for your responses and best wishes,i had to go into work this morning and now i have my 2 grandaughters to look after until its time to go for my appointment.I seem to be on autopilot and can laugh and show no signs of worry while i'm busy with the kids...but every minute alone with my thoughts are agony,i'll let you know what happens either way.

thank you all for being here as i really didn't know where to turn.

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Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Just again to echo what everyone else has said - this is by far the worst part - the waiting, when you don't know what it is, if anything, that you are dealing with. We will all be thinking of you this afternoon and wish you all the best.

take care

Margaret x

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Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Hi Lilly
Sorry you are facing all this anxiety, not all re calls are dx with bc. Two friends and I had re calls I was dx will bc but the other 2 were given the all clear after a biopsy. I will be thinking of you and wish you all the best.
Good luck, I hope all goes well.
Caz x

Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Dear Lilly

As everyone has said the waiting is the hardest part, gives you too much time to think. Everyone on here has been were you are and knows what you are going through so please feel free to ask questions or just come on here for rant - they really do make you feel better.

Wishing you well for today sending love and hugs

karen

Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Dear Lily
I am so sorry you are facing this dreaded worry. It is true what people say...the waiting is so hard. Our minds jump from imagining the very worst scenario to keeping that thread of hope that it will all turn out to be nothing serious.

As Sarsh so rightly said, when we don't know what we are facing and our thought are in turmoil the words just don't come.
Whatever the outcome, you will be able to deal with it and this is a wonderful site for information and support.

Please let us know how you get on

My thoughts and best wishes go to you today
Trish

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Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Hi lilly,
Best wishes for your results and remember it may only be a harmless cyst. So try and keep calm if you can.
Everyone is lovely on here and very supportive so please keep us posted.
Love Andrea x

Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Hi Lily

Like others have said, your life will most definitely not be over. It will be different and your priorities will change overnight, but most certainly not over. Chances are it will be nothing and if you can't feel anything and its only shown up on the mammogram, then if it is something, it is likely tol be small and early and easy to treat.

Cathy
xx

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Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Dear Lilly,

Just another echo, but always remember whatever happens things are never as bad as they seem.

I truly hope your news is good news,

The very best of luck,

Take care,
Love ,
Janx

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Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Dear Lilly,

Just to echo what the others have already said really.

This is truly the scariest time right now, waiting is so hard.
I will be thinking of you this afternoon, and hoping for good news. Please let us know how you get on.

love
Jackie x

Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Dear Lilly

Oh how my heart goes out to you and your husband. I don't know if you will look at this site again before you go back to the hospital, but you can be sure that I and the other users here will be thinking of you. We know just how you feel, and please be sure that you are not alone in your dreadful fear and anxiety and just not knowing what to do with yourself. The trouble when you don't know what you are facing is that you just don't know what to think, so your mind just jumbles and the words won't come! You think of the worst scenario, and also that it may all be something benign. All I can promise you Lilly is that even if the worst happens and you DO get told you are facing breast cancer is that you WILL get through it, your life is definitely NOT over, and you will find wonderful support here and elsewhere. If you keep posting on this site you will never need to feel alone, we KNOW what it's like. More words now probably won't help, but you are in shock and what you are feeling it entirely normal. Just go hour by hour, it is all you can do just now. Please do let us know how you get on. The very best of luck. Sarah

Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Hi Lilly,
Please try not to worry - easy to say I know, I've wandered round the house with tears running down my face trying to keep busy and whilst all the time thinking 'What if....'
So many of us have been there and whilst it doesn't make it any easier for you, at least you know that others understand, they care about what you are facing and will be there for you as much as they can.
You are definitely not alone in this.
I am really pleased that you have a husband along side, and at these times hugging and holding on to one another for support is all we can do. It is not easy to express how we are feeling especially for the partner of the person facing the problem.
Keep in touch
So many of us will be thinking about you this afternoon
love
Magsi x

Re: so frightened that I can't speak.

Dear Lilly

Welcome to the forums, where I am sure that you will receive lots of support and information from your fellow forum members. You may also find our publication helpful to read, it's called 'Referral to a breast clinic', this can be downloaded from the website via the following link:

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/docs/referral_07_0.pdf

Please also feel free to call our helpline on 0808 800 6000 if you feel it would help to talk things through with someone in confidence. The line is open Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm.

Best wishes
Lucy

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so frightened that I can't speak.

hi all you brave people here.I've been reading this forum since tuesday when i got a letter for a recall about my mamogram that i had on march 19th.It says theres an area that they need to check and my appointemt is today,in 5 hour's time.

it was a routine mamo because i reached the age of 50.
Since the letter came,i've hardly been able to function,i cry most of the time,can't sleep,can't eat and am terrified out of my mind.I can't feel any lumps,bumps etc but from reading here and elsewhere,i see that means nothing.
i want to run away or crawl in a hole,hubby and i can't seem to say anything,all we are doing is holding each other and dreading this afternoon...I keep thinking my life is over and feel so alone.