Not purposely but accidently I have ended up reading something on here which has put the fear of god into me.
I wanted to read up about how long I would be out of action after my surgery for my lump so went to read up on the benign thread, but then read accidently about how sometimes core biopsies can be wrong and how it can be cancer after all. I am quite honestly panicking like mad now. I was really handling this ok today.
(My daughter is really not good today which has also made me worry like hell)
But now I am petrafied that the “abnormal cells” are going to be cancer, and have a whole month to my surgery, I don’t think I can handle much more of this waiting. Everytime I go I think this will be it, but oh no I have to have this or that done, and I actually thought when I went to my doctors in the first place I would be told it was nothing and it would be nothing. I felt I was invincible, now I feel I am not and my luck is due to run out.
I am sorry ladies but I am really really worried tonight and don’t know what to do.
I can’t help much but I knew that I had a tumor in each breast and that both were cancerous. they assured me that taking a few weeks before surgery wouldn’t do any harm and I had mastectomies 5 weeks after dx and all was well, ie no involvment of lymph nodes or other tissue detected.
I can only assume even if your biopsiy was wrong there’s still plenty of time but do call your BC nurse if you’re worried. I was but after the event I now think I was worrying more than I should have and I did have cancer in both breasts.
I was the person whose core biopsies came out benign even though i had cancer. I am still alive almost five years later, plus I had my lump for five months before surgery, I found out that delays don’t make that much difference if any to outcome
Mole
I am not worried so much about any difference in outcome, I am terrified that after being told my lump is not cancer, but has abnormal cells, is CANCER and after that and with my daughter and my mum I am at breaking point. I have woken up and feel like I am under a black cloud. I posted alot and everyone on here has kept me sane through my worries but today I must admit I feel like I am slipping under.
Hey Jules.
I don’t really know what to say other than hopefully you are worrying about nothing and in the unlikely event that if it turns out be you’ll be treated and move on with your life.
Lots of love.
Angie
Jules
I am sure that your lump is not cancerous. I realise mistakes are sometimes made, but not that often. You have been told its abnormal, not pre-cancerous. There is a world of difference as abnormal means simply that you have cells that are not true breast cells. Cancer on the other hand is a different thing altogether. However, if you do have cancer, you will get through it just like many of us have done. I think with your other family problems you are letting this really get to you which doesnt help on a bank holiday when you cant just ring up your BC nurse and get her advice. All the best
Cathy
I have just rang up the breast cancer care nurse and she was really kind, first time I have actually broken down and cried. She said that I have so much going on and its not surprising that I have ended up in this state, but she also said that nothing is 100 percent but that a majority of tests are accurate. I think everything has just got to me today.
I am having the worse day possible, such a difference from last Sunday when Hubby and I spent a perfect day at Greenwich Park. Today I am in my dressing gown and not dressed. Feel so down and depressed. One paricular lady has been writing to me and giving me encouragement, which has been really kind. I have had depression before and am petrafied that this is going to bring it all back to the surface.
it’s a lovely day today and I was in Greenwich myself, I went in the market and bought a handbag. My bath taps have sprung a leak so i will need a plumber but it really was a sunny day today. please don’t worry yourself silly, as someone here says mistakes are rare.
Mole
Oh well have finally got dressed and hubby is taking me for a run out in the car. Really have such a black mood.
Hi Jules,
I had breast cancer in my right breast. Also I had another lump, when I had a biopsy they said it showed abnormal cells like yours, not cancerous and when I had it removed at the same time as cancerous lump it was a fibroadenoma. My daughter had a couple of these benign lumps when she was about 19, she had them removed and has had no further probs in last 6 years. Try not to worry I sure yours will something similar.
Try not to let your mind run away with you. ( I know it easier said than done)
Take Care
Dawn
Thanks Dawn, I am trying to be positive about it all. But my mind keeps running away. Trouble is I went expecting to be told my lump was not even a lump because of my gps shoddy behaviour, to three weeks later having a surgery date. It all happened to quickly and I guess I didnt have time to get my head round it.
I had a cancer scare last year, was coughing up blood clots all last summer, had a brontcoscopy, ct scan, throat biopsies etc done very quickly, it was quite traumatic and when I got the whole clear I felt so relieved. Then my mum was dx in March and what with my daughter being ill, everything has snowballed.
Hi Jules
I completely understand what you are going through in terms of being affected by the thread.
I have always been terrified of Taxatore - and am waiting to have my first one (keeps being postponed due to low blood count). Then I talked myself round to it being OK. THEN last week I read about a woman who was disabled by it (but getting better slowly). It threw me off course completely. I was a mess. In the space of a few seconds of reading it my world was all upside down again.
Now, a week later, everything is back in order again and I am not over-focussing on that.
I think you will find that if you can do you best to think of other things that you will feel a lot more relaxed about your situation in a short while.
I hope you feel better in yourself soon - I am sure you will
Good luck with it all
love FizBix xxxxxxxxxxx
Thank you Fiz
You are absolutely correct in what you have said, I was plodding along nicely the odd low and I would come on here talk it out and be fine, but within the space of seconds I read something, not on purpose but while looking for something else and my world as been completely turned upside down.
I am sorry to hear you had a similiar experience but hope your feeling more on track now.
Love J xxxxxxx
hi jules
its yr daft pal maria here. sorry your not feeling too good. you have so much going on at the moment. if u feel your depression is coming back please get help. i no from experience how hard it is to get out of the blackness once you are in there. sorry i have not been here for u lately, but im back now and just shout if u need someone.
hope u and yrs r all ok
maria
xxxx
Thanks Maria, I know you understand about depression, I am glad you are back as I have missed you lots. xxxxxxxxx
Hey Maria
Glad you a feeling better hun.
Yvonne xx
hi
has yr daughter ever been on effexor/venlifaxin. i took 60 mgs prozac, no difference for 2 years,seroxat for six months no difference. then doc put me on effexor 150mg/ but got increased to 300mg just there and chlopromoxine 4 x daily and i feel a lot better. i got a rash with seroxat and really bad thoughts. hows yr mum, did the tumour shrink. are u okay about going in for op.
mariaxxxx
Hi there she is being weened of seroxat because it gave her suicidal thoughts and she was self harming, which was a worry. The prozac gave her a bad rash so she needs to be put on something new.
My mum will go back to the Marsden on weds to find out how much her tumour has shrunk and whether they will be able to do her surgery yet.
My cat also has a lump now, god it never rains eh!
And I am ok about the actual operation that does not faze me, what does is what if the biopsy was wrong and they say its cancer. I read on here about women that got a negative dx and then were told it was cancer, i am petrafied that will happen to me, even though I believe that is rare.
xxxx
Hi Jules
I was one of the ladies who had a clear core biopsy but had a cancerous lump … BUT the consultant knew before the core biospy was taken that my lump was cancer… this was by taking all the other eveidence (clinical examination, mammo and ultrasound results etc) into account.
I did not come onto this sit until after my surgery and my 2nd visit to the oncologist so I knew what my tumour was in terms of size, grade her2 and hormone stautus etc but I had a few times where I read something and scared myself witless. I mentioned in another thread that a friend of mine (who’s daughter had had leukemia) advised me not to apply the details of everyone’s horror story to my own case and just take it a day at a time… it really was the best advice anyone has given me. I do read other ppls posts and can sympathise with their issues, but I decided at the start that I was only going to worry about a symptom or complication as and when it actually happened and since I’ve had a much fewer stressful days.
Please try to look at the positive side of things and not get yourself into a state… difficult I know.