My finger nails were actually in better condition whilst i was having chemo than they are now. They were strong and nice and white and grew quick, now they are breaking spliting and back to their old weak rubbish self, only time in my life prior to chemo that i had nice nails was during my two pregnancies, although on both occasions my nails all broke off one week prior to giving birth, yes i am weird lol .
I'm really glad you are both able to laugh about your hair because I'm sure sometimes you'd rather cry. You are amazingly positive. I suffered the cold cap and managed to keep a thin covering throughout my chemo although I was hairless everywhere else. A driving force was my daughter, aged 9, who had a birthday inJune and had said to me that I wasn't allowed to her party if I was wearing a wig! I've now got a double hair do (very weird) with one inch of short curly hair underneath and longer bobbed wispy strands over the top! My finger and toes nails are shocking too but I can see those beginning to grow out so that's good news.
My rads were bearable today -one week down and 2 to go. I'll get there.
Thanks for the support everyone.
mine is actually straight although i wad told it would come back all grey and curly lol, its actually quite dark with lots of grey mixed in, i usually dye it with the henna dyes ftom Lush, they make your hair so soft thick and just so healthy looking, but the henna has a weird smell and when you get warm its really notiaceable, hense the reason why im waiting till aftet rads is finished. the smell does go after a couple of weeks , ive got a lot more grey in it now than prior to chemo 😞 so thats got to go lol, i finished chemo the begining of september my rads finish on 11th december so a bit more growing to do before then and i might look somewhere near decent for christmas day 😉 . . Take care
Deelush x x
sorry to hear that is all getting a bit too much for you and i can totally understand what your saying my last rads session will be exactly 10 months from when i had my first breast clinic apointment, i cant believe the year has gone already, but its nearly over now and we can look forward to a prod pock and examine free few months before we go back for check ups, so we'll have to make the most of that free time. Its not a very nice thing to have to go through and my male nurse was in rads again last night but i just keep telling myself if its no big deal to him (and he is quite young) then its no big deal to me, and i get over it that way, it helps that hes very polite and careing too, i will be building myself and my dog back up to the three mile a day walk that we had just acomplished just prior to diagnosis, once all this treatment is over (we've missed out a lot due to surgery, and chemo etc) and i am really looking forward to that, just wish the hair would grow faster dont want to go out sweating like a pig in my wig, i welcome to cold weather i looovvveee going out walking in the cold weather as i have a tendancy to walk rather quickly and soon warm up. I think the walk to the hospital will do you the power of good and put you in control of your feelings and treatment get some fesh air into your lungs and take each stride with positive force. I am also setting my self a challenge to lose 3 to 3 1/2 stone once i start back out on my walks ( something else that went out the window with diagnosis) so maybe you could set yourself up a little challenge or treat or some kind of goal that you'll promise yourself once rads is over, something to focus on and look forward to.
please take care you can get through this your probably stronger than you think
deelush x x
p.s. forgot to mention my first goal is to dye my hair once my rads is finished as its about an inch long now (still not long enough to go without wig as my hair was shoulder length before) but with far too many grey hairs mixed in the with the darkish mousey brown, so thats getting covered a nice autumn chestnut brown. X
I've been having really up and down days recently and felt especially low last Fri after lots of alcohol at Kylie! I talked to my bcn who is great and puts everything into perspective and says its totally understandable to feel angry or anxious about the cancer and also cheesed off with treatments going on for 10 months. I felt ready to pack in the rads this weekend as I found them impersonal, undignified and tough because you see no positive outcome its all just wait and see if it does't reoccur. So I've decided to attack them each day by marching to them at top speed to get fresh air and fitness too. The hos
pital is 3km on a steady downhill and its really helping with my emotions. I feel that I can do the appts without crying afterwards!
I'm in my forties so wasn't sure where to seek support as I felt a bit past the young cancer groups but I found a book brilliant as its written by a 39 year old with a young child so I clicked with her on bc. Its called Silver
Linings by Hollye Jacobs and although some of her treatments are specifically American, her advice has been great.
Hope you are having some better days this week.
Hi wemblo, yeah any benefit is a benefit worth having no matter how small, i was originally told 15 sessions of rads by a bcn, but when i saw dr she said yes 15 sessions and 8 boosters, i was qute shocked as i wasnt expecting it, and had just got my head around to the idea of travelling back and forth every day for three weeks so the idea of five weeks was a bit daunting, i questioned it and she said we'll do eight boosters because we dont want a reacurrance do we, i said no we dont so i'll take them thank you very much. My general gp who i saw when i was first diagnosed said his wife was 18 years out of breast cancer and doing just fine, and she was treated at the same breast cancer centre as i am under, and his wise words to me were
"Listen to and be quided by them and take everything they offer you"
something i kept close when treatment was being disgussed and offered, his words would pop into my head each time my treatment plan moved on to the next stage so i did as he suggested and accepted all treatments. i did as he advised and i am glad i did because i know that i have been given the best treatment and hope for a good outcome. ive had so far wle, snb, chemo, started on tamoxifen and now doing rads,
I'm kicking the pants out of my cancer . .
Deelush x x
Mel51 i totally get what your saying and its something that i am sure we will all worry about all the time, but we can only hope that it never happens again and that the worry becomes less , its not easy but we have to try and be reassured by what we are told and just prey for the best. noone can truely understand the thoughts than run amuck in our minds except those of us that are in the same boat so its good to come on here and voice your feelings because we do truely understand how your feeling and why your feeling like that.
I hope you feel a little better now youve vented how youve been feeling. Please take care.
deelush x x
Hi ladies thanks for all the replies,
the nurse had a feel of the lump and said she thinks its just lumpy breast tissue, and said that the radiotheraphy has a way of exaggerating all sorts of things like tissue and nerves and pains that we wouldn't probably notice as it does change the tissue of the breast inside. She said to see how it goes tonight and tomorrow and if its still painful tomorrow to phone her up and she'll have a word with the dr and see if she wants me to pop in tomorrow as she will be in clinic tomorrow but if i feel ok she said to wait till friday but its my call, unfortunately the dr wasnt there tonight. So i'll see how it goes in the morning. Thanks for listening and take care everyone.
Deelush x x
Sorry to hear of your worry when you found the lump this morning I do hope you manage to see the dr at the hospital tonight.
My son son was caught with ciggerettes in his bag at school and said they were not his and that he was looking after them for someone else. To my horror it turned out that he was smoking but it was around the time my husband had a brain tumour and so I think it was probably stress. ( the tumour was sucessfully removed and turned out to be benign. A very stressful time as my husband was not aware anything was wrong but that 's another story) None of us smoke and eventually he did give up. I agree though there is nothing worse than being in close proximity to someone who has been smoking and their clothes smell and their breath. Like you say the hospital needs to be more strict. I always remember when I was training being told not to wear certain perfumes as they made patients feel sick but no mention of cigerettes so may be it should be mentioned when nurses and other medical staff are training.
Good luck with your appointment today. SML xx
Her explanation was, they have been in there for months someone asked me to put them in my bag for them last time i went out and theyve been in there since, i must admit i have never smelt smoke on her or her clothes and as no one in this house smokes im prerty sure it woild be noticable, i have given her the benefit of doubt on this occassion.
i think i would have to say something if the person treating me stank of smoke, its not very nice and quite insensitive, if people want to smoke thats their choice, but they should be a bit more strict about it when it comes to dealing in close contact with cancer patients. Im afraid i would have made a very polite complaint.
deelush x x
You are taking positive action about your pain straightaway so that should make you feel better about yourself. I hope the hospital are able to give you direct and helpful answers to your queries. Also hope your daughter doesn't disappoint you with her explanation. She might be having them as a stress buster over what you are going through.
I was treated and drawn on today by a male radiographer reeking of smoke and I was thinking " Why hasn't it put him off when he sees all these patients with cancers etc?"
Hope todays appts went well.
Thanks ladies ,
my hubby is finishing early today so he's going to come with me and we are going a little earlier, i know the dr has evening surgeries on a monday and tuesday because thats when she sees patients for the first time to do consent forms etc so i beleive she will be there until half six, i dont mind waiting if she can fit me in, unless the treating nursese can offer any reassurance before hand.
and my day went from bad to worse as ive found cigarettes in my daughters work bag, to say im devastated is an under statement, i was looking for her name badge for work because she couldnt find it this morning thinking id do a good deed and take it in for her (its a big deal if they dont wear them) and thats when i found the cigarettes now obviuosly i am going to give her the benefit of doubt first and i am totally shocked but i cant beleive after all ive been going through these last nine months that ive discovered them in her bag, please let there be an acceptable excuse. . . . 😞
Hope the day begins to go a bit better for you. I am off in a moment for my treatment.
Hope everyone has a good day.
Sorry to hear you are having a rubbish morning. The wait for your appt and the chance to ask some advice will feel a long one too with a 5pm appt. I'd go in a bit earlier to see if they can give advice or perhaps ring the dept and ask if you could see the Dr. I have some stinging in the breast being treated now, I asked about it and was told that it was normal and to take paracetamol for pain. Its not that bad yet......
Hope all appts go on time today.
Not having a very good start to the day so far....
Woke up with pain in my chest this morning. 😞
Its the side i am having treatment on but not in the area where my tumour was , its the opposite side near to the middle towards the bottom of my boob, top of my ribs so to speak, and i can feel a lump, not sure whats going on there but i dont like it. My appointment today is at 5.05 pm, so there might be a chance that the dr will still be there so going to ask the staff about it and maybe they will get the dr to come round and check it, or at least be able to explain to me whats going on. Not a happy bunny this morning, took my daughter to work and had a run in with a lorry driver because apparently i shouldnt have gone across the lights on green, lol long story but i told him ever so nicely (not) where to go, and then nearly had the fromt of my car took off by some bloke who was in the lane to go straight across the island but decided to turn left across the front of me i was in the other lane to go straight across, he wanted to turn left, what an idiot, needless to say i woke everyone up wih my car horn and sign language if you catch my drift, anyways I'm home again now having a nice cup of tea. rant over and breath . . . .
Hope your all doing ok
deelush x x
hope you all had a good weekend, and managed to recharge your batteries
Ive got evening appoitments again this week earliest one is friday at three, then apparently straight round to see the dr after that one so she can check see how im doing,
hope that isnt going to be a long wait especially on a friday, traffic will be crazy.hope your all doing ok
take care deelush x x
Thanks for the baby wipe advice - I got some over the weekend to remove the felt tip scribble straight after each rads treatment. I hope to feel less like a whiteboard today on leaving the hospital!
Take care everyone.
Hi Positive Thinker
My appointment is at 12.40. I have found out by chatting to others who are waiting that the appointments in the middle of the day are given to those who have to travel a bit further so they dont get caught up in early morning traffic or the going home rush hour. I am a little tired and had to leave an evening function early on Friday as I was so tired but it might have been that I was up at 5.30am and the room in the evening was very, very hot.
I sterted taking letrozole in July and was bombarded with hot flushes but I'm please to say it has settled down!
Isn't it lovely to have a couple of days off all the travelling and being zapped. I've just finished week 1 of 3.
We have all got to the radiotherapy treatment via different routes - I'm lucky I've avoided the chemo but my friends do seem to think that because I've avoided it the radiotherapy will be easy. Well it's not is it!!!! Hours of travelling for ten minutes' zapping. And the knowledge that whatever you have planned for the day you still have to add the extra travelling time to get to your appointment. Then there's the tiredness that is starting to creep in. I purposely booked my zapping for the end of the day so I could come home and put on my PJ's and flop and that's what I'm finding I need to do. The left boob is getting a bit prickly and my armpit feels a bit tighter and I do find myself looking to see if there's any physical difference - so far none.
I hope you all have a safe week and are gentle on yourselves.
Hot flush coming so must sign off quick
Hope you all enjoy your weekends away from hospital! I'm so glad I'm not there for a couple of days as I 'm finding the treatment psychologically tough. I get different male and female staff everyday and the treatment room changes too. I also want my body to be free of intervention.
I am trying to take my mind off it all by heading to the gym and focussing on getting back my fitness and losing all the extra kilos piled on with chemo. I have to remember that swimming is not allowed though.
Hope everyone's skin stays calm into next week.
Take care everyone.
Hi deelush, forties and everyone.
Good news. My bcn got it slightly wrong or as she said she didn't express it very well in her text. I never did have cancer in the nodes in my clavicle area just the nodes under my arm which were all removed. The oncologist just wanted to give me the best chance by giving me radiotherapy in my clavicle area as a preventive. I feel so much better about it all now. Thank you everyone for your support.
glad you both had a good time last night with the lovely Kylie. Glad your zaps are going well. And yes Forties i get a new set of bright purple ink marks on me every day, i have a packet of wipes in my hand bag and as soon as i get back into the changing room i wipe it off , well as much as i can manage, stubborn stuff, it does come off in the shower though with the simple soap. off for my fourth zap at 16.15 today then we all get the weekend off for good behaviour.
oh and Boa i had a young male nurse in for my session yestersay, he was very pleasent , i just lay down and let them do their stuff not worth getting flustered or embarrassed about, bet he has seen plenty over the day and i was the last one in last night so didnt let it bother me, thats not to say that i wouldnt rather have just ladies because beleive me i would, but i reckon there are more men that have seen my boobs over the last 9 months than in my entire life lol .
deelush x x
Its great to hear from more rads patients and hear everyones experiences and be able to support each other. I'm finding that although friends and family were very sympathetic with chemo and its side effects and they could understand surgery and the recovery time, I think they too have become tired of it all. They also have the perception that rads is a breeze but they forget its coming at the end of a very long time as a patient and that being in hospital environments all this time is tough. I'm feeling happier today after the brilliant Kylie concert last night. I forgot all about my cancer for the evening and just had fun.
Ready for my 3rd rads today and another round of felt tip pens! Anyone else get redrawn on each day?
Take care everyone.
Hi Wemblo, welcome to the november rads club.
sorry to hear your suffering but hopefully youll get that sorted soon. Dont apologise its what we are all here for. Good to hear that your skin is holding up well at least thars one massive plus, but If things do get you down too much maybe you could phone the number on this site and have a chat with them, it may help.
deelush x x
oops about the missed zap, but altleast they are putting it right. I actually find the waiting area in the hospital that hot, that I'm glad to get into the actually treatment room to cool dowm, i wouldn't say it was cold in there though just cooler,. I was advised no deodorant at all under that arm during treatment and for three weeks after and then to use none perfumed after that for a while, and although i can see what you mean about being a bit whiffy i have actually found that iI'm not really sweaty under my arm as i thought i would be, i did tell my family that they wouldnt want to be my friend for the for coming weeks lol but all seems well, could be the simple soap im using ? ? Who knows. As each hospital seems to have their own guidelines though i think you should ask your treating staff about this. I tend to use a lot of simple products anyway as i am allergic to most fragrances and so it was no biggy for me to do so.
deelush x x
Firstly thank you for welcoming me into the November Rads Group.
I think the common nuisance for all of us (apart from the obvious) is the travel and waiting time for a relatively short period of time to be zapped. My team at Guildford Royal Surrey Hospital are lovely and all the radiographers are incredibly kind and helpful. That said, they omitted to give me the booster zap on Monday so I had to meet with the Dr on Tuesday to have that explained. This meant a long appointment time, but they are back on track and will have to give me a single booster on 1st December. I'm on a trial for both doses to be administered at the same time, so they have to refer back to those in charge of the trial to see what to do.
The treatment room is cold so I do take a small fleecy blanket with me and this has proved to be a very good idea - thanks to whoever suggested it. I can be covered up almost to under by breasts and it just keeps me warm and I have something familiar with me - literally my "comfort blanket".
The whole process of lying there on the bed and being measured and lined up then having the machines whirring round and doing their stuff does bring it home that I have to have this treatment to get rid of the chance of recurrence so I take this as a positive.
Does anyone have a good aluminium free deodorant to recommend as I hate the idea of smelly armpits!!
Keep positive ladies - and keep in touch
Gentle hugs, Diane xx
You must live somewhere near me as I'm going to see Kylie tonight too! When I booked the tickets back in April I thought I'd be all finished with treatments and celebrating the end with friends but delays post surgery have happened along the way to change this! However I probably feel more energetic now than I will in 3 weeks time anyhow so I'm digging out the sparkle, wearing a bra for tonight only and having a few drinks!
I hope our rads today go smoothly so we can enjoy the concert. Apart from a sore arm and shoulder I've had no effects from my first treatment.