Thank you Thank you to you all for replying...... it helps to know that people are thinking the same as you as when i talk to the onc, nurses etc they seem to give an answer but don't understand the impact it has on your life.
I know you are all probably the same, my friends and family all keep saying that i've done so well and should be really happy that my treatment will be finished after my rads and that the hardest bits are over.
For me the hardest bits aren't over - logic seems to take control from the dx and through treatment and this strength came from somewhere to stay strong and positive as much as for the people around as for myself.
But now i am coming to the end i actually feel like i am just beginning as the realisation of how my life and plans have been turned upside down sinks in and that i am going to live the rest of my live wondering whether it will come back and if does whether there was something i should have done differently - there are all these statistics out there but they don't make sense to me - does anyone ever have cancer that never comes back or is it inevitable that one day it will return? Then i think do i want to know the answer to that?
I just feel i don't know who i am anymore and can't wait for the day when some normality will return.
Thanks again and take care everyone
raeding your post sounds just like me I am also on Tamoxifen and am 26 years of age, my surgeon told me that is it ok for me to be on it for 2 years and then try for a child but I would need to go back on it once I had had a child for the remaining 3 years. When i told this to my oncologist she said I really do need to be on it for the whole 5 years and she would not consider taking me off it sooner. I have also always wanted to be a young/younger mum ever sonce I was a child I have always wanted to be a mother. I now get so sad when I think that I will be in my late 30's when I have a child. My mum had me at 33 and now she is in her 60's I worry all the time that by the time I have children she will not have much time with them before she passes away. I know that sounds wired to think like that but my mum is the best mum in the world I could never have asked for a better mum in any way and I want her to be the best grandmother to my children I want her to have years and years of happiness with them.
My oncologist also said to me that it may be selfish to have children as what happens if I have a reacurrance then they will be left with out a mum. My partenr lost his mother when he was 16 and I know how hard it has been for him I wouldnt want that to happen to my children and I wouldnt want my partner to have to parent on his own. There are so many things we have to think about at such a young age at times I dont think people realise how much comes with having bc.
My only advice to you is do what you think is right you have 2 years on Tamoxifen to seek your own infomation and advice.
Take care Kaylou thinking of you
Love Clairemm x x
At having just turned 27, fertilty was a real issue for me too. I finished my chemo in Febuary and am 8 weeks into taking Tamoxifen. Though my concerns, I was refered to a fertility expert and we both came to a decision that harvesting eggs was not an option (I'm strongly hormone receptive). At the fertitly workshop on the Young womens forum, the guest speaking oncologist there, showed me a statistical graph that showed the risk of infertility at 30 ( the graph didn't go any younger in age than that!) was about 15%. However she also showed a graph on the statistical risk of reoccurance when Tamoxifen is used compared to no usage, in hormone receptive women, it was the first two years that showed the most signifcant benefit, but year 3 and 4 also showed really strong evidence in reduceing the risks, slightly less again in year 5. From seeing this graph, I most definelty will be taking Tamoxifen for at least 4 years to get reduce my risk of re-occurance. It will mean i'll be 3132, which is a bit longer than I had antcisapated, but I have close family members who have had children as late as late thirties and early fourties. Although children are a priority, I'd rather concentrate on the here and now, and doing everything in my power not to let it come back.
All the best with whatever desicion you make, Lisa x
I was diagnosed last year age 30 whilst actively trying to get pregnant! You can see my diagnosis and treatment in my profile. My Onc has put me on Tamoxifen and Zoladex combined for 2 years as he believes this is more beneficial to younger women in order to preserve some fertility. He also told me that the most benefit from Tamoxifen is seen in the first 2 years anyway.
You are not irresponsible at all and I do totally understand how you are feeling. I am just trying not to think about pregnancy and babies just now but it is hard when something that most women take for granted has been snatched from you.
Good luck, Carla x
tamoxifen & children Hi,
I've just had my WLE and recon surgery and am looking to start 5-6 weeks of radiotherapy soon.
When i was orginally dx i was concerned about fertility and so was referred to an onc at another hospital who is more specialised re: chemo treatments etc and he said that normally tamoxifen is prescribed for 5 years but it is not always appropriate for everyone and so i could just take it for 2 years. I am now back with my orginally onc who has now put me on tamoxifen and advised that i should stay on it for five years.
Has anyone else been is a similar situation and stopped taking it earlier in order to have a baby.
My onc just says to me 'you have a very serious illness and my priority is you and that you will still be here for the next 40 + years' yes i am his priority but i also want to be able to have a life i can live and enjoy which to me includes children. I am nearly 26 so will be 31 when i finish the tamoxfin and then it needs to get out of my system before trying for a baby which is pushing me towards 35 and my partner will be 43 i know many couples have children at this age but having young parents myself - i have never wanted to leave it this long, but i am being made to feel i am being totally irresponsible in my thoughts.
Does anyone understand??????????