times of appointments

[catchpole]

Update got my new times which they had refused to tell me saying hadnt got time, they are afternoons, i told them not afternoons as i sit my friends dog and cant she hasnt got anyone else to do it shes on courses at work and cant take time off,  I was told initially i could choose times and discuss them, seems like it, The early onesi couldnt do as using public transport that time in morning would be impossible , and in Norfolk seems hospital transport is for infirm only, im far too fit to use it and also you cant use it one way and get bus back.  Be gratefful ladies you dont live in Norfolk, june

[catchpole]

Thank you all, i rang yestedsy re chan ging appoitnments, they were not over helpful but did agree, Asked about transport and said id only need it one way anyway, they said not possible you have to use it there and back !! and nornally its only people who are infirm and not very sprightly and who find using public transpor  difficult, who they consider eligble   As i am a pretty nippy 67 year old, i obviously wouldnt qualify, and i ive no desire to sit around waiting for transport when i could be outside the hospital and back home or round my friends sitting the  dog in half an hour,  Does any other part of the Uk have these same silly arrangments or is it jiust Norfolk,  Probably is, no other city builds a hospital way out on outskirts,city hospitals in city centres, like ours used to be,  Now luxury flats people cant afford to live in. june

[Fuffs123]

Catchpole, forgot to mention the transport thing. As others have said, there will be some sort of transport available to you for rads, you just need to connect with it. I'll be using it for mine and although I understand it's not ideal, can be time consuming, it's a good option. The rads dept should be able to schedule your appts around it. Ask your BCN to help you get this underway, take all the help you can get at the moment. Xx

[Fuffs123]

Carchpole, so sorry you're having a difficult time. I do know exactly how you feel. I moved to my present area, Leicestershire, last year and have no friends or family who live nearby and those that don't seem to have forgotten me now anyway. When I was first diagnosed, I got flowers, cards etc but nothing now, although I still have another WLE and rads togo thro. I'm very fortunate to have a supportive OH but he's not been well either and at 67 and 62 (me) we could do with some emotional support. This forum has been my lifeline, as I feel very isolated with my own thoughts.I'm not a 'joiner' either and have always found these groups very cliquey. Don't
suppose you live anywhere near me? I do also understand how you feel about the rads as I feel the same sometimes and also about the hormone tabs, neither of which I've started yet. Is it worth going thro all that to prolong a life which is c*** anyway? However, I recognise that this is a symptom of depression on top of the normal emotional stuff that BC sufferers have to go through. You might find some treatment for this will help your mood, even if you feel that there!s no point to it all. I'm always here for a chat, DM me if you want. Sending you hugs. Xx Francine

[Nenya]

So sorry June, it's rubbish, people can be so thoughtless at times. Maybe if you can tweak your appts to a less busy time. I'm sure you aren't moaning at all, just stating facts and we are here for you when you have no one else xxxx

[nebsminty]

Catchpole, I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time. I can't help with suggestions for transport as I'm fortunately able to drive myself to appointments which will start on Monday.

I just wanted to say that when I had chemo last year loads of people (especially at work) kept asking me how I was. I even got a big cheer in the office when I went in after recovering from the last cycle. I got texts and phone calls from friends every week checking up on me.

I've since had two operations and with rads imminent I can see that support and sympathy has definitely dwindled and to most people at work it's as if there's nothing wrong with me any more.

People seem to get really hung up on chemo (because yes it can be horrible) but also for some people there's nothing they like more than to be able to say they've helped a friend through cancer. Not saying your friend is like this but it can give people a sense of heroism for helping out.

But from what I've learned there's nothing easy about cancer, particularly the mental trials we go through and unfortunately unless you've been through it, it's hard for someone else to understand

I hope you are able to see it through rads, after all you've got this far. Good luck

[lavendersblue]

June I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling so low and that your friend is less than supportive . I don't know why folks think rads are less traumatic than chemo ....they are just as difficult to cope with , just in a different way . I have done both , so know ...

Do tell the hospital that you NEED to come on the hospital transport system ...it is quite within your rights as a cancer patient to use it .
I told the hospital that I needed hospital transport as I was not able to cope with driving , and they just put my name down for it . Some days it was a volunteer ...some days it was a patient ambulance . It did take a long time some days , but I always treated myself to a coffee and a bun whilst I waited in the hospital cafe .
The best thing was that the rads department just treated you when you got there...so no probs if you were late due to the journey etc . They always said ...we know you are coming .

Our cancer journey is hard enough, whilst we are going through it , and life is hard enough without our friends turning on us too .

I am always here if you need an ear to moan in ... you can always message me ...see the top of the page .
Hugs ,
Jill x

[catchpole]

ank Nenya, but i dont think there is anything like that here; They mentioned hospital transport but sort of more or less said bus would be better, as people who use it are often infirm and take ages getting in and out, whereas im able bodied and nimble and would have to travel around the city to pick people up. Help with costs isnt available to me i,e reimbursement of bus fares as pensioners passses dont start till 9 30 here and as im not on pension credit because i receive a small company pension as well as state  i couldnt get it. I will ring monday and see what can be done.

As for the friends, i have had people with me on every appointment, this particular friend has been one and was very sympathetic , but since she discovered no chemo,  and i seem well she seems to think im perfectly ok in every way. If i say im lonely and hate being alone, i get told not to keep ,moaning and to join things and do voluntary work  or if i want a paid job which i do, be prepared to do anything, When i was having op and waiting for news she was all over me,  Sometimes i think was it cause i care for her dog when shes at work and she was worried more about that, i dont know.  Havent discussed with other friends yet may get a more sympathetic ear. Cancer is an even harder journey on your own without a family or partner believe me.june

[Nenya]

Don't say no to the radio xxxx Are there any charities around you that provide transport? My hosp is more than 60 mile round trip, the firefly charity provides free transport, so I only have to drive 10 miles to meet the bus . It's takingat least 5 1/2 hours out of my day, but worth not having the stress of driving and parking.ring them up and see if some of your pots can be changed. The charity were able to sort some of mine to fit in with them. I also am lucky not to have chemo, but other people have no idea the toll this journey takes on your mind and body. Hang on in there. Sounds like you need some new friends xxxx

[Sunflower57]

Hi Catchpole Give the BC nurse a call & explain that as you use public transport, the appointment times you've been given are not convenient I'm sure they will be able to change the times for you Have you asked about hospital transport? My appointment times are a mish mash too, but I can drive & have access to a car. Hope you are sorted soon.

[catchpole]

Ive just received my appointments for rads and they seem a mismash of times, some quite early awkward as i use public transport and althugh i live in a city many will coniside with rush hour and hospital is on the city outskirts. One friend i rang was most unsympathetic, told me im  lucky not to have chemo, well i know that, it  seems to me that since people have discovered i dont have to have that, and i seem to be well, they seem to have little sympathy left.  I dont have any family, no kids or partner. Sometimes i think should i bother to have it at all, its 3 months since my lumpdectomy, im on tamoxifen. Is it worth it, my life isnt the greatest,when i was first diagnosed people rallied around now, im just told to get on with it. I sometimes feel do i really care if it comes back, im,  lonely most my friends in couples and single ones do have families., im rerired wnich i hate, didnt want to be, my comapany didnt want the older ones so told to do voluntary work, jojn things, but im not a joiner, and going to groups alone is hard, ive tried them but never had much success. Dare i refuse rads, as said do i c are, 20 more years of my life like this, can i face it,