Ive just received my appointments for rads and they seem a mismash of times, some quite early awkward as i use public transport and althugh i live in a city many will coniside with rush hour and hospital is on the city outskirts. One friend i rang was most unsympathetic, told me im lucky not to have chemo, well i know that, it seems to me that since people have discovered i dont have to have that, and i seem to be well, they seem to have little sympathy left. I dont have any family, no kids or partner. Sometimes i think should i bother to have it at all, its 3 months since my lumpdectomy, im on tamoxifen. Is it worth it, my life isnt the greatest,when i was first diagnosed people rallied around now, im just told to get on with it. I sometimes feel do i really care if it comes back, im, lonely most my friends in couples and single ones do have families., im rerired wnich i hate, didnt want to be, my comapany didnt want the older ones so told to do voluntary work, jojn things, but im not a joiner, and going to groups alone is hard, ive tried them but never had much success. Dare i refuse rads, as said do i c are, 20 more years of my life like this, can i face it,
Hi Catchpole Give the BC nurse a call & explain that as you use public transport, the appointment times you’ve been given are not convenient I’m sure they will be able to change the times for you Have you asked about hospital transport? My appointment times are a mish mash too, but I can drive & have access to a car. Hope you are sorted soon.
Don’t say no to the radio xxxx Are there any charities around you that provide transport? My hosp is more than 60 mile round trip, the firefly charity provides free transport, so I only have to drive 10 miles to meet the bus . It’s takingat least 5 1/2 hours out of my day, but worth not having the stress of driving and parking.ring them up and see if some of your pots can be changed. The charity were able to sort some of mine to fit in with them. I also am lucky not to have chemo, but other people have no idea the toll this journey takes on your mind and body. Hang on in there. Sounds like you need some new friends xxxx
Catchpole, I’m sorry to hear you’re having a tough time. I can’t help with suggestions for transport as I’m fortunately able to drive myself to appointments which will start on Monday.
I just wanted to say that when I had chemo last year loads of people (especially at work) kept asking me how I was. I even got a big cheer in the office when I went in after recovering from the last cycle. I got texts and phone calls from friends every week checking up on me.
I’ve since had two operations and with rads imminent I can see that support and sympathy has definitely dwindled and to most people at work it’s as if there’s nothing wrong with me any more.
People seem to get really hung up on chemo (because yes it can be horrible) but also for some people there’s nothing they like more than to be able to say they’ve helped a friend through cancer. Not saying your friend is like this but it can give people a sense of heroism for helping out.
But from what I’ve learned there’s nothing easy about cancer, particularly the mental trials we go through and unfortunately unless you’ve been through it, it’s hard for someone else to understand
I hope you are able to see it through rads, after all you’ve got this far. Good luck
Carchpole, so sorry you’re having a difficult time. I do know exactly how you feel. I moved to my present area, Leicestershire, last year and have no friends or family who live nearby and those that don’t seem to have forgotten me now anyway. When I was first diagnosed, I got flowers, cards etc but nothing now, although I still have another WLE and rads togo thro. I’m very fortunate to have a supportive OH but he’s not been well either and at 67 and 62 (me) we could do with some emotional support. This forum has been my lifeline, as I feel very isolated with my own thoughts.I’m not a ‘joiner’ either and have always found these groups very cliquey. Don’t
suppose you live anywhere near me? I do also understand how you feel about the rads as I feel the same sometimes and also about the hormone tabs, neither of which I’ve started yet. Is it worth going thro all that to prolong a life which is c*** anyway? However, I recognise that this is a symptom of depression on top of the normal emotional stuff that BC sufferers have to go through. You might find some treatment for this will help your mood, even if you feel that there!s no point to it all. I’m always here for a chat, DM me if you want. Sending you hugs. Xx Francine
Catchpole, forgot to mention the transport thing. As others have said, there will be some sort of transport available to you for rads, you just need to connect with it. I’ll be using it for mine and although I understand it’s not ideal, can be time consuming, it’s a good option. The rads dept should be able to schedule your appts around it. Ask your BCN to help you get this underway, take all the help you can get at the moment. Xx