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well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

ethlydsyl
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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

saw an aquaintance who i last saw in the waiting room at the breast clinic whilst both waiting for results-she said"i was so relieved when i got a negative result that day-i was petrified"-i knew she knew i was positive so said"you know i was diagnosed positive" she said "yeah-but you're dead lucky they caught it in time-i mean i couldn't have coped but you can !"wierd x

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Hi All,

The funny things people say! My Mum had a cataract removal In November and got an infection. Cleared just before I was diagnosed. We were recently chatting and she was saying how nasty her eye problem had been and how painful and difficult " Oh well" I said, sounding like a wise old person,. " it could be worse", .."oh yes " she said in an understanding knowing way, " I might have had to put up with it all through Christmas"!

I was too staggered to react at all!!

Chin up girls!

Sassy x

Crabbit
Member

Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Well that's me thoroughly up to date with this thread now, honestly from cat fountains to 'looking like you have cancer'. Breathtaking!

Went to see my mum in law a couple of weeks after I finished RADS. She hasn't been to see me through any of my treatment yet I am greeted with ' I haven't seen YOU for ages' as if I'd been neglecting her.

Ho hum! Hubby working away, 4 year old and being back to work I didn't even tell her I'd had to drag my hubby there to visit lol!

Carolyn x

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Jules your story made me spit my tea out too!
With laughter of course!!!

I'm sure it made you feel very insignificant at the time but it read so much like a comic turn...

Take it easy.

keepthefaith
Member

Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

I am still unclear as to what a cat fountain is, perhaps you could elucidate, Twinky?

I hate other people's cancer stories! Last week was told by a good friend about a lady in the village whose Mum and daughter both had breast cancer, and she did too, but apparently her daughter has got secondaries now and the outlook is not good. She's telling me all this, and then realised what she'd said and then said "oh of course that's not going to happen to you, YOU will be fine" what can you say?! I really didn't know what to say in response! I know she was well meaning but...

bgboo - that is shocking! Yes don't rush back to that friend's house! I never wear my wig - it's bald or a hat for me!

xx

ChoccieMuffin
Member

Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Twinky, that really made me smile. There IS justice in the world! And I hope you'll be out when they pop round for a cup of tea and a whinge about the journey they've had all because of the cat...

bgboo
Member

Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

CM
I was at my friends house, been in the wig all day so went off to the loo to take it off and returned with my hat on. Needless to say I haven't been back to visit her.

Jules68
Member

Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

hiya Ladies

Cat fountain????

Had 2 lovely comments over the last couple of weeks

Sent a pic to a "friend" of my new wig and was told - you can't wear that it will make you look really old!!!

Mother came to see me with stories of friends with cancer..her friend who is around 112 has to have her ear removed and rebuilt and she sat there and said "see it could be worse but on the plus side for her she wears glasses and can get laser eye treatment".....

i nearly spat my drink all over her

this thread really makes me giggle x x

DJ007
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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Brilliant!

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Just had to share this with you before I head for the bathroom for a good scrubbing. The cat fountain pump doesn't work so it needs to be returned (which is a 100 mile round trip). There is some justice on the world (runs off to the bathroom sniggering).

Twinky x

ChoccieMuffin
Member

Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

bgboo, that's outrageous! Who on earth told you that!?! (And more to the point, how long did their bruises take to fade?)

RevCat
Member

Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

bgboo... reminds me of someone who said to me when I was out at a restaurant in my scarf, 'don't you have a wig...? I always wore my wig in public'. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

We are all so different aren't we.

bgboo
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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

I was told "please wear your wig as you look like a cancer patient in your hat". well helloooooo I am a cancer patient!

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Just catching up with this thread, thanks Choccie Muffin for bumping it up, I am still recovering from cat fountain and then reading about the hairdresser and the lung ca comment, oh and then the "only 2 more chemos to go"God and flippin eck I used to hate people saying that along with oh you'r half way there and being bald suits u, why oh why I just cant fathom it"!!! love to u all xx

DJ007
Member

Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

I was intrigued and so have just Googled cat fountains.

Twinky - don't get upset about derranged people, they can't help it!

Dx

PS Most of them look like a cross between a foot spa and a bidet!

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

A CHAMPAGNE fountain ....thats what I'd buy

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Sensible people buy chocolate fountains. If I ever win the lottery...

Cackles
Member

Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Twinky I don't mean to be Catty but if they buy cat fountains you are better off without them!!!' when you find out what it is let us all know!!!!
Hold on in there
Hugs
Cackles

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Oh Hymil....thank you for making me laugh out loud x

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Can you drown an adult in a cat-fountain? Can you make it look like an accident?

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

I think it's some sort of drinking water thing....and I'm still seething! Had an op last year to have a cyst removed from my left ovary, polyp from my uterus & a bit of a scrape of the old womb lining so was home for a couple of weeks unable to drive. Was on my own for a fair bit of that time as hubby works away during the week....did they ring or even visit....NO....so shouldn't really be surprised at their lack of concern now. What makes it worse is that Father-in-law had a bowel op before Xmas with a large polyp removed and was told a couple of weeks ago that there were signs of early cancer in the tissue. I drove straight up to see them when I got the news, with flowers for mum-in-law & cakes & biscuits to have with tea & to give him a big hug. Ended up sitting on their doorstep for 2 hours because they'd gone out & had to leave the goodies round the side of the house & push a note through the door as I had to drive back to the hospital for my pre-op assessment. No they didn't call to thank me. I rang them later £ they said they'd enjoyed the biscuits & cake......is it just me? Deep breath again...1..2..3....

Twinky

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Hi Twinky

You said don't ask but............what the heck is a cat fountain?
I feel my moggie is missing out now if he hasn't got a fountain!!

Lemoncake
x

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Not heard from the in-laws since they visited me in hospital the day after my MX ;which was on the 19th). My hubby rang them today & they assumed I'd be back at work soon....so here I am, still with my drain, taking a deep breath and counting to ten. They could have visited earlier in the week when they were out for a trip to buy their cat a fountain (don't ask) but didn't bother. Great....I rank lower than the cat....

Twinky

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

my sister in law = " its all over with now your hair is starting to grow back" OH gave her a unrepeatable answer bless him ,,

ChoccieMuffin
Member

Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Can't believe nobody's had any silly comments recently, so bumping this thread up so it doesn't drop off.

Any new posters might want to take a look and either laugh or have their jaws drop at the astoundingly insensitive things people have said.

A friend of mine has recently had an op for an ovarian cyst that turned out to be cancerous, but it was (relatively) good news in being caught very early. So she posted something to that effect on her facebook status. Someone responded that she'd known someone who had it, and they died. REALLY insensitive, but completely typical of the person who posted. So me and my friend had a bloomin' good laugh about it - it's the only thing to do, really.

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

If 1 more person says "only two more Chemo to go" i'm going to stick a very sharp object into them and poision them and see how they like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sorry about rant, just had sister-in-law quiz me

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Hi all - a little calmer today!! I really think she meant it in a 'light hearted' joking way - but was just sooooooooo wrong! I think im looking for a new hair dresser though as i dont think i can be responsible for my actions if the advice is repeated. She also added that she is sure the Drs can cure me and i must stay positive blah blah blah!!

But that was all yesterday.....today no ones got it so wrong.......yet!!!

Hugs to all!

Sadie Xx Xx

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Sadie, i hope you don't smoke, there are lots of highly flammable materials in hairdressers' salons.... oh, to be a dragon for a day.

So, if my dad had had enough hair to need a trim, and gone to her and not an oncologist, he'd still be alive today?? i think not. Sheesh, who is she kidding? Wait, is she a smoker herself by any chance?

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Unbelievable!! I would definitely NOT be returning to that hairdresser Sadie. Just cannot believe how ignorant people can be in this day and age - even if it were smoking related lung cancer, merely 'giving up smoking' wouldn't fix it!! Think you deserve a medal for keeping as calm as you did

Lesley xx

ChoccieMuffin
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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

I think she would have got a crash course in the progress of BC if it'd been me!

But then, sounds like she'd need an awful lot of educating...

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

God Sadie I would have planted her!! maybe time to find a new hairdresser !

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

My GP when she started at the practice, meeting me 5 weeks after my mastectomy for 7.5cm of Intermediate DCIS said and I quote " but thats not really cancer is it"!!!!!!!!

GIJaneH
Member

Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

good GREEEEEEF!! How Higorant can some people be?!!? As if smoking is the only cause of lung ca, and as if quitting once you have it is going to make everything OK... AND.. as if she had the RIGHT!!!!!

Good to be able to let the storm out after the calm, isn't it?!

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

So, discussing treatment etc with hair dresser (yes - a very exciting minor hair trim!!!) and she says 'well - if its in your lungs - just give up smoking and it will fix it'. If she was not armed with scissors - i would have had a go - but she was, so i calmly explained it was breast cancer in my lungs and ive never ever ever ever smoked at all!!!

Phew - feel better for mad type!!!!!

Sadie Xx Xx

RevCat
Member

Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Jane... here, borrow my big, black KJV, kept for just such moments... apply to said person's head... in love, of course! Either that or just tell her to look up Genesis 9:7....

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Looking good Cat 🐵 x

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

OMG Jane - how did you stop yourself from decking her! My colleagues are still at the 'looking at me with well meaning pity' stage - not sure which is worse!
kaj
xxxx

GIJaneH
Member

Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Brand new colleague having a go at me for something.... at some point I said that my brain didn't always work as quickly as it used to. Quote AS A FRIEND perhaps you shouldn't be working then unquote....
friend? really? The second word is 'off', I think.. pick your own first word..... Jane

RevCat
Member

Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Thanks LL, before it was cut it was starting to resemble a Kevin Keagan perm! (for those of enough maturity to recall that).. it still defiantly curls up every night.

I guess the most annoying thing I say, by dint of repetition, is 'I guess'.

Lavenderlassie
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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Revcat, I love your wee curly hairdo! I too will miss the chemo curls when they have gone, which has surprised me. Must get a wee update pic.
(I am a Scot living in the deep south and realise how assimilated I have become when I go home and say "little" instead of "wee"!)

ChoccieMuffin
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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Hymil, "swap?" works wonders in those situations!

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Alex, what can you do with people like that. Offer to swap? Offer she can have your desk by the window when you're dead? Ask if she has got her will up-to-date too because you know she could get hit by a bus tomorrow... Remind her that you get your holidays AND all that time off as well... wasting your breath.

Silverjill, I love it, that's a great lad 🙂

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

I wouldn't have 'bitten my tongue' Alex, I would have said 'I'd rather stay the way i am, thanks' and glared at her. (I'm good at glaring!)

alexc23
Member

Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

As I'm now waiting to get a date for diep reconstruction, have had to let work know that I'm going to be off. From one of my lovely collegues who knows thats what I'll be off for I got "arent you lucky, you'll get a tummy tuck and pert boobs out of it out of it, so it makes up for the cancer doesnt it?" arrrgh!!

Personally I'd rather keep my jelly belly, not have been poisoined and burnt on a regular basis in the last two years, been slammed into an early menopause from the chemo and tamoxifen and still have my(to me anyway) lovely matched breasts.

Spent the rest of the day with a lisp due to biting my tongue so hard

xx

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

My sister came up to visit me and my son being used to me having no hair said to my sister when she was just ready to go out
Do you want me to brush your hair! My sister replied no why do you think I need to brush it?
My son replied well yes it looks like you just got out of bed!!
I was in kinks. X

RevCat
Member

Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Have to confess I prefer 'wee' everything to 'like' everything. 'Dead' everything is also widespread in NW England, so I am guilty of that one, along with 'I guess'.

In the (east) Midlands everyone (male and female) is "m'duck" and around Manchester a lot of "chick" compared with Glasgow's "hen" (women only).

M'duck used to annoy me, espeically if said by a teenager in a paper shop! Sorry Leics/Notts/Northants ladies

Lulu34
Member

Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

I 'wee' at everything too.... It's def a Scottish thing.... You don't even notice saying it but when I speak to my English friends they all comment on my weeing! Although they also laugh at my other Scottishisms like clapping a dog, looking after the weans lol

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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Rev Cat, your hair looks great! Don't get too much cut off! I'm Scots and I hold my hand up to saying "wee" before everything. And the other annoying thing I do is start every sentence with "see" as in, "see my head, it's dead sore", "see these shoes, they're dead comfy", "see those shops, they were dead busy". There's a lot of "deads" in there too!!! I'm married to an Englishman and he takes off the Glasgow accent brilliantly now.
Mxx

RevCat
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Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

Annie - in a wee while! For today only I've changed my piccy to show my chemo curls... one year's worth of growth. In a perverse way I'll miss then when they've gone!

ethlydsyl
Member

Re: well meaning (but annoying!) things people say!!

and now i'm off for a wee x