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Dont want oncologist to tell me anything?


Re: Dont want oncologist to tell me anything?

Hi Chelles


Thanks for posting.


Being told you have secondary breast cancer can be overwhelming.   However difficult it may seem, you can have some control over how you manage your illness and deal with the emotional and practical issues it brings.


Feeling comfortable with your specialist team can make a positive difference to how you feel about your treatment and care.  It helps your specialist team to care for you effectively if they know what your concerns are and what information you would or would not like to know.  You may find it helpful to speak to a breast care nurse before your consultation to discuss your concerns.


You mention that you found the lump 3 months ago, and you are concerned that this time lapse could have made a difference.  It’s understandable to feel anxious whilst you awaited further tests and investigations.  However, it is important for your specialist team to have all the information about your breast cancer to be able to recommend the most appropriate treatment.


At Breast Cancer Care we provide a number of different services for people living with secondary breast cancer.

We have a secondary breast cancer online discussion forum for sharing information and support.  There is also a weekly Live chat session which runs on Tuesdays at 8.30-9.30pm. 


Our Living with Secondary Breast Cancer monthly sessions give you the chance to meet and share experiences with other people who understand what you’re going through because they’re going through it too. Held in various locations around the country, and facilitated by a counsellor, you’ll also be able to ask questions and hear from expert speakers about a range of topics such as pain management, side-effects, fatigue, clinical trials and benefits. There’s always a chance to find out about other available support and services too.


You can search for current locations dates and planned programmes on the above link or you can call 0845 077 1893 for more information.


Do call our free, confidential Helpline if you would like to talk this through or have any further questions. The number is 0808 800 6000.


Our opening hours are Monday to Friday 9am - 4pm and 9am -1pm on Saturday. Out of hours you can leave a message and we will call you back when we next open.  


We are currently reviewing our Forum service and wonder if you would have five to 10 minutes to complete a short survey. The survey will help us gather information about this service and understand more about any improvements we can make.


Best wishes




Breast Cancer Care Nurse


Please read the Ask Our Nurses disclaimer. This thread will now be closed from further replies. If you have any additional questions or would like to provide feedback, please start a new thread.

Community Champion

Re: Dont want oncologist to tell me anything?

Hope it goes as well as possible - post in the secondary forum - you will get lots of advice and support - lots of ladies there doing well on treatment .

Re: Dont want oncologist to tell me anything?

Thank you! So scared... spread few places
Community Champion

Re: Dont want oncologist to tell me anything?

Hi Chelles ,the Nurses won't be able to reply til tomorrow now .I just wanted to say if you tell the Oncologist how you feel I'm sure they will respect your wishes .If you go to the Secondary Threads on the forum there are lots of ladies on tablet chemo there and you can get some good advice and support .

Dont want oncologist to tell me anything?



Im seing oncologist for first time tomoro. Been told prob oral chemo.. which Im dreading- as live alone.. 


Was due to have surgery- had pre-op .. but Ct scan showed up worse news.. surgeon was shocked. I have stage 4 now. Originally, told they can take lump away, and biopsy didnt show up anything in 1st 2 lymph nodes. Its invasive grade 2 er pos,,,, still waiting her2 last week but should know now.


3 months since found lump!!! waiting awful all over xmas- would that have made a difference?? 


I know enough.


So when I go tomoro can I just ask him about treatment- dont want to know anythig else- is that ok, but does he have to tell you 

Thanks x