I’m in a lucky group – was diagnosed with BC in the Spring of 2003, yes, 20 years ago - and MBC to the bones Spring of 2016 - 7 years -have had as normal of a life as anyone would hope, given the diagnosis. Currently, almost Spring 2023, I’m experiencing excruciating back pain, similar to 7 years ago. Soon I will be having xrays, mri and bones scan. I’m emotionally struggling with this more than ever before. I should be grateful (and I am) for surviving so many years, I’m extremely anxious thinking my time is up with so much to still do. I’m in my 60s, very active with a loving family. I can’t imagine telling them what I’m going thru as it will create too much heartbreak to my mother, husband, daughter and son. As important, I need to be ok with the process of dying and don’t know where to start with that.
adrimol sorry you find yourself here please to ring bcn if you can and speak to a nurse they will be able to listen and support you others will be on this thread too from the forum 
do keep posting on here as much or as little as you need too. 
Shi xx
Hello adrimol
Thank you for your post.
It sounds like a very difficult time for you both physically and emotionally.
Living with secondary breast cancer can mean adjusting to difficult changes in your life. Sometimes it can be hard to know what to think, where to turn to for support, and even harder to find anyone who really understands what it feels like to be where you are just now.
It’s understandable you feel worried about talking with your family about your diagnosis of secondary breast cancer and possible progression, as you don’t want to upset them and worry about how they will react. As difficult as it is, being open about your cancer and how you are feeling about what might be happening can help you cope and also make it easier for people to support you.
It can also often help to speak with others in a similar situation. OurLiving with Secondary Breast Cancer services and virtual meetings enable you to access specialist information and share experiences, understanding and support with people who are also dealing with the uncertainty and challenges that secondary breast cancer brings. You can find more information about this and our other support services on our website.
As you are experiencing excruciating back pain it’s important to get some help with this until you’ve had the scans you mention and know for certain its cause. It would be a good idea to speak with your breast care nurse, treatment team or GP. They will be able to assess your symptoms and discuss how best to help relieve the pain as well as support you emotionally at this time.
We often find we can help people more by speaking to them, so please do call our helpline if you would like to talk this through more. The helpline team have time to listen to your concerns, talk things through and signpost you to more support and information. Your call will be confidential, and the number is free from UK landlines and all mobile networks. The number is 0808 800 6000, (Relay UK -prefix 18001).
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Best wishes
Stephanie
Breast Care Nurse
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