Despair

Ok, so I’m new to this forum and identify with so many posters. Doesn’t seem to make it any any easier though. I’m 3 1/5 weeks post surgery (WLE +sentinel lymph node removal) and due for RT mark up session on monday. I am dreading it- being uncomfortable, being exposed, feeling vulnerable, the inevitable side effects.  All that plus the uncontrollable emotions which have plagued me since diagnosis in Feb. I’m still waiting for counselling. I used to be fairly resilliant but have been reduced to an emotional wreck and fed up of being told this is normal. It really doesn’t help. This post might sit better in a different thread - depression, anxiety, will life ever be the same, insomnia etc etc, so apologies if this is a bit garbled, but radiotherapy seemed a good place to start as it’s looming large in my mind.  So any advice how to get through this next ordeal gratefully received.

Hi

Big hugs to you xx

Feeling emotional, anxious & depressed are all normal feelings I’m sure all women will n this site have gone through & may continue to do so. 

I had same op as you, on 12/3.  My planning app 1/5 with Radiotherapy starting around 23/5.  I feel as if it’s taking over my life & I can’t plan things. I want the radiotherapy asap, then I can try move on with my life.  The thing that messes with my head is the positive lymph node they found (1 out of 5)- I have been told I had a small slow growing cancer - and only need Radiotherapy & Tamoxifen.  It’s at the back of my mind a lot- that it had spread, but we have to trust that our breast surgeon and Oncologist plan for our best outcomes. 

I was so scared of of the thought of chemo, but feel lucky it’s just Radiotherapy (never thought I could say just- but it’s so much easier than the alternative).  Reading on this site a lot of women seem to sail through Radiotherapy, saying it’s the trips to & from the hospital for several weeks that is the hardest, not the treatment itself.  I have bought some Aveeno moisturising cream and Aloe Vera gel in preparation, as some of the ladies on here have said it helps.

It sounds like we will be both having Radiotherapy at the same time, message me any time if you want to chat xx

 

Hello - even the strongest of us have ‘moments’ - so everyone here is in your corner.

 

From personal experience, I found the radiotherapy an easy procedure, because we are invariably looked after by professionals who do this all day every day, and they just happen to be dealing with a part of us that we usually see as our own personal territory - but they are very good at putting people at ease and getting on with the job in hand, because accuracy is what they are about? Hence the concentration on their faces which we might interpret with our own discomfort at being stared at, closely?  I had 15 + 5 boosters last summer, and the most difficult part ( which wasn’t difficult at all for me, because I live in London with good transport connections and I am older, with no small children or work ) is the daily travel.  In general, I think we spend more time getting semi-undressed and dressed again, than we do under the treatment beam?  The first time, I thought they were still lining me up, and when they came back in the room, I’d been treated !!  And in the radiotherapy department waiting areas you get to meet others, and strike up conversations if you so choose - if it is possible to detach yourself from the feeling of embarrassment or feeling under scrutiny, and see that this is treatment by experts whose purpose is to get it 100% right with location, you might feel ‘thank goodness for that’ . . . .

 

In the side effects, there will be many ladies who will come here and advise on what products helped them - my skin reactions came after the 5 boosters with some redness, soreness, dryness - but it was manageable - I always use products that are free of all alcohols, parabens etc, and gentle on the skin, and the oil that I used after each treatment was given to me by my daughter, and I found it light and easily absorbed - Dr Hauschka Rose Oil - but many ladies swear by the Aveeno products.

 

I truly wish you well, and I wish you some peace of mind on this journey. All the best x Paulus