Hi, I was diagnosed 6th May, lumpectomy and lympectomy 6th June. Start radio in four days time. It’s been a complete whirlwind and I just feel … well I don’t really know what I feel! I’ve had the ‘usual’ range of emotions, but at present I seem to be in a weird emotional vacuum and can’t shake myself out of it. Had Prozac from GP to help me cope but can’t continue taking because of Tamoxifen. Is it normal to go numb like this? Well-meaner has suggested I’ve got PTSD,as the diagnosis hit me very hard. To me life is put on hold whilst they get the cancer contained. Be great to ‘chat’ if anyone is about.
Hi Wonky,
I think most of is have felt similar at some stage & it can hit at different times. Apart from the early days of diagnosis, my worst time was after treatment was completed & it took me a while to shake it off.
Getting diagnosed, then being hauled through the treatment pathway is a shock & takes a while to process emotionally.
I’m now 3 years down the line & all’s well.
Is there any other support you can access? Others here have found counselling helpful, your bcn should have details.
If there is one in your area, a ‘moving forward’ course could also help.
This will move on
ann x
Hi Wonky, totally normal response and often as Ann says once treatment is over and we are expected to just get on with life we find ourselves trying to come to terms with what the hell has just happened to us!
I’m 4 years on now and cancer is pretty much something that is in my past but it takes a while to get to that mind set, I made the decision quite early on to focus on what I had to look forward to, I’ve experienced so many major events since my diagnosis, both my sons marrying, buying their first homes and giving us grandchildren, one here and one on the way, the absolute joy of our lives!
I never take for granted what I could have missed out on of course but I’m here and I’m enjoying every second of the life I am lucky enough to have so I don’t dwell I just embrace it all!
My point is you never forget but you can move on and have a new found appreciation of everything Xx Jo
Hi Wonky,
I’m a bit behind you in this as I haven’t had surgery yet - due next week around the day you start your rads. I think you’ll find your way out of this strange numbness you are in the middle of. I don’t think there’s a right way to feel or not feel and you can’t force yourself to feel anything different just now.
For me it all still seems a bit unreal and has done from the start, in spite of all the appointments and tests. I think it’s because I’m still carrying on doing all the things I normally do and have been very busy. I might feel differently after surgery next week when I have to stop and rest for a while.
I hope your rads go smoothly.
Sandpiper
Hi Wonky
Sometimes numb is protective and can be very useful. I’m at the end of my treatment now (diagnosis September, surgery October, Chemo from Christmas Eve, radiotherapy May). Being phobic, all of my fear continued to be focused there so I looked on the cancer diagnosis, which got worse by the week, completely dispassionately. I have got through things I would never have dreamt I could manage because of this emotional detachment. I didn’t even ask questions because I didn’t want to know. For me, numb was good, the perfect coping mechanism for me personally.
I have continued with my SSRI (agomelatine - very few side effects) so, if you feel the need, go back to your GP to discuss alternatives. It’s only fluoxetine and a couple of others that interfere with hormone therapy - there are plenty more SSRIs to explore IF that’s what you need. You may not need them now. You may prefer numb - we each choose how we’ll deal with it and no one else can know what’s best for us (though you probably find a few try to put you right).
Good luck with the rest of your treatment regime. By now, you’ll have found out that radiotherapy is nowhere near as scary as it sounds, I hope.
Jan x
Hello are you still here to talk ?