I have 3 radiotherapy treatments left and I’ve hit rock bottom after my husband quipped “frying tonight” before I went in for my last treatment on a machine that had malfunctioned with the previous patient. He apologised later but I cant seem to pick myself up again as his comment comes on the back of long term marital difficulties.
Oh I am sorry to hear that Oak. I completely understand how you feel, as do most women at some time or another I am guessing - but some men really are much worse than others. Now if it were them with the condition or illness, oh my, that’s a completely different scenario . . . .
It is not my place to come here and criticise, as that would be far too easy, and I don’t know him. You gotta show him that you are a bigger and better person than he is, and that his stupidity will only make you despise him, and probably not share details with him if that is the sort of idiocy he’s going to come out with.
I hope you feel a bit brighter tomorrow - make A Plan to do something nice for yourself when this is over.
You deserve it. Hugs aplenty xx
Hi Oak
I had a similar experience last night when my husband asked a “funny” question about whether I would be wearing my prostheses to go out with a group of friends (I am a few weeks post bilateral Mx). I was so upset I nearly didn’t go! I guess it’s just that few people are able to walk in our shoes. I do think my husband meant no harm, and hope yours didn’t either, but they can’t begin to imagine the complexities of our experiences and emotions around BC.
Don’t forget there are many many people that have been in our shoes, and there is always support to be found here. Hope you feel better soon x
Oak and Loolarch
I sincerely hope that both your husbands are having a good long think about what they have said and how it impacts on you both, we struggle enough with what we are going through without throwaway comments like that.
Loolarch well done you for still going out with yoru friends, no one should make you feel that way regardless of who they are
Oak yay 3 more left and then you can celebrate being at the end of your active treatment, hopefully you have got something really nice planned to mark it.
Sending you both hugs
Helena xx
Dear Oak, that is particularly callous of your husband.
Have you tried telling him how hurtful his remark has been and how low you feel, or wouldn’t that help? Obviously I don’t know your husband so I might be way off beam, but perhaps you will feel stronger if you can take the initiative to explain to him, firmly and quietly, that you are going through very unpleasant treatment which has a strong emotional effect on you, and you would like consideration and support rather than ignorant, superficial observations.
Good luck with the remaining three sessions.
Oh dear Oak I’m sorry you are so upset by your husbands comments, I have to say going for a zapping/ frying was used in our house throughout my treatment but humour was how we go through it and I wasn’t upset at all by this.
That’s not to say your husband wasn’t out of order especially if things are rocky anyway but try not to let it drag you down, you’ve got this! rise above and see out your last few zaps with your head up! Xx Jo
Thank you so much everyone for your kind messages, they’ve really lifted my mood. I can go for my treatment tomorrow in a more positive frame of mind instead of washed out and weary! Xx
Thank you ladybowler, I shall think of you when I’m clanging that bell! Xxx
Oooooo Helena… Love this!! Xx