Hi Sue c , ive got one early next week i think with rad nurse. I was okay today not as breathless i had a nice african male nurse, put a smile on my face made me forget about my breathing lol.... anything that gets you through they say....hope your treatment is going well..big hugs xxxxx
If fire alarm had gone off for me, suspect I’d have been left on the couch as I prob wouldn’t have heard ! 😖, I was so concentrating on the noises of the machine ! Sorry to hear of your breathlessness problem, that does sound like stress..and who can blame us?
Have you tried apps out there for relaxation and anxiety - daughter suggested I try Headspace, she uses it (has post natal depression) and finds it really helpful, in dealing with stressful thoughts etc. I tried it in the early days and it definitely helped me too, going to get back in to it now as I just get waves of dread oftentimes...like I’m sure others do.
Hope you get through tomorrow without headache or anything, fire alarms and broken machines included !
Sue, thanks for the tip re Medi honey, I’ve seen it mentioned elsewhere on the forum, but not in relation to radiotherapy soreness, I think I’ll send for some in anticipation, - feel pretty sure the nipple area is going to definitely suffer..that is the worst area, where all the scars are..
Keep strong, Lucaboo, that bell will be sounding before you know it xx
If you start to get sore skin, I would recommend Medi honey. This was given to me by the nurses at the time, but you can also buy it on Amazon. My skin held up pretty well, but towards the same end, the nipple area was quite sore, and this cream was very good.
Third session today, yay, only 12 to go !!
So far it’s trouble free for me - fingers crossed and everything, except I’ve been a bit worryingly pink in the affected boob since my TM - the (female so far!) radiologists keep making concerned noises about ‘am I moisturising ?’ ...Yes, so far I’ve used Aveeno but today (at my daughter’s suggestion and with the radiologists’ blessing) I am trying a baby moisturiser that’s recently been in the news as being a bit of a wonder cream, and have to say it seems really nice, and even seemed to reduce the Lily the Pink effect I’ve lived with for weeks...🤞 - all nice natural ingredients and here’s hoping !!
Lucaboo, so pleased to hear you are getting along well too - albeit with headaches and males (!) but good on you... we are getting through this..
Lilacmoon, thank you for the info regarding the machine ‘workings’ - would really have appreciated that induction course you had as I find it still totally mystifying, watching this thing whir round and about...think there were three directional zappings from the noises and movements happening today, (I struggle to hear the noises though, with my deafness, but am fairly sure... 🤔)
We have no bell up here 🙁 - tempted to stick a ringtone on phone for the end of treatments day !
Roll on ringing that bell for those of you that can, and those of us that will do it mentally.
Good luck all, and thanks for the support !
So glad you had a better day! Now you know what it's all about, you will be much more relaxed, and you'll be surprised at how quickly it goes.
Good evening lovely ladies...well hurrah!!! I actually got one rad session in today, on time, and a nice you man to unzip my gown..oh the joys!!!. I was as you all know very apprehensive. It was a bit scary but got through it, and im sure tmrws will be easier as i know the proceedure.
It gave me rotten headache and sore ache under arm but ive done as you ladies have advised drank plenty and moisturized twice ill do another tonite.
I was very tempted to ring the bell on my way past to celebrate id got one down!!.
Hope all you ladies are getting through your smoothly and thanks for your support. No doubt i will keep you update with the next curve ball to come my way lol...love and hugs xxxxx
Just seen your post, - feel really gutted for you, that’s awful ! As Appletree says, it’s our under-resourced NHS behind problems like this.. Not impressed with the embarrassment of the male staff, either, but I have to say my post-op nurse was male, and he was lovely, - admittedly I was full of drugs that night and couldn’t have cared less about modesty then anyway, but hey ho.
Like you, I was up at the crack of dawn, after bad night’s sleep...shower, breakfast was water, a banana, (no appetite..) and painkiller in anticipation of the upraised arm and as shoulder is still recovering from the 40 minute planning session, it’s a bit creaky and sore. Arrived early - 8.30, (appointment was at 9) to be told session was to take place in main hospital building for some reason - panic to find it in the vast bowels of the place but got there eventually...
Turns out the machine I have been scheduled to use for the duration was having it’s service that day...😏- so it was a long wait for the one in the main hospital, but once in there it went ok - and even though I am a left-sider, no breath hold was required, glad of that ! Shoulder was wincingly painful until they shuffled me down the bed and that released the pressure a bit, lots of realignment and x-rays later, the session began and was over virtually in a couple of minutes ! Weird how the machine bit was out of sight during the actual session but was in my face during the x-ray alignment....
So really, it was absolutely nothing to be worried about, and you will breeze through it, I do hope tomorrow will bring no delay to you or your poor lift ! (Mine (husband) had to go back into work as he had important meeting, and the delay was stretching out, so thank goodness my daughter had popped out of her work to come and lend moral support - went home with her...)
Had to laugh though, as during the x-ray realignment, I wasn’t aware that that was what they were doing, I was convinced I was having the treatment itself and I could feel every supposed laser beam and twinge as it got me..but it wasn’t and hadn’t even started...
My imagination is too much sometimes, unfortunately drama documentary/Bond-type scenarios had left me, except probably the Bond scene with the laser machine ! 😂😂
Keep positive and tomorrow will pass...sorry that I am one ahead of you now, though. I really wish we were local and able to help you with your lifts, (as you are the same weeks as me), - you’ve enough to contend with without the worry of getting there..I know I’m very lucky as a non-driver to have my ‘escorts’.
Sorry for going on a bit !!
Best wishes for tomorrow xx
Thanks Chris, i hope your session went ok another one down!! Dear god im praying i get one in tmrw lol...big hugs xxx
Thankyou to all the lovely ladies who have taken time out to support me it so keeps me going. Ill try again tmrw and maybe i will be back on here saying one down! Love and hugs xxx
Oh you poor thing - so sorry to hear this, especially as you had been so anxious beforehand. Sod's law.......
I take it you are a non-driver and having lifts out of necessity? (But if by chance you do drive but are worried about driving during rads, it is very doable when you have rads - don't be afraid to drive yourself if you are a driver.) Even though obviously it is nice to have company, it's less stressful to sort it yourself if you can. (And completely ignore the above if you are a non-driver!)
Best of luck for tomorrow and everything crossed. x
Oh dear Lucaboo, that's dreadful, especially as it was your first session.
It sounds as though the hospital where you're being treated is a fairly small one. There are 7 machines in the radiology department I had to go to. On one session, one of the machines gave up and remained out of use for about a week, so a whole lot of us ended up being well over an hour late on more than one occasion as people had to be switched around. That hospital serves a very wide geographical area extending across four counties, so 7 machines are kept pretty busy normally.
I put it down to lack of maintenance thanks to an under-funded NHS, understaffing ditto, and the weather.
All the very best for tomorrow
Morning all, thought i would let you all know how i went on this morning on my first rads.
I was up at crack of dawn to get lift organized etcetc got to centre at 8.15 my appointment was 8.45 first on the bed i was told. So far so good. Sat there till 9.30 by this time my stress levels were rising a bit, only 4 people there. Then at 9.40 hay ho a nurse appears gives me gown mmmm, tub of cream and quick chat. Told me to go get changed and they take me through to machine room.
There were 3 men omg and a 2 female. Got all lined up on bed half starkers as you do, nurse said we will talk to you through intercom because breathing box usually on machine has gone missing?????. So im lay there ...no ones talking, after about 5mins i'm panicking, next thing intercom comes on machines broken down ffs!!!. Young male nurse hurries in to tell me to cover up cos 3 burly computer men are coming in room to try fix it. Omg i burst into tears the whole bloody senario and the build up to it. They sat me back in changing room and shut the door.
So after asking nurse how long did she expect to take them to fix it she said they had 3 machines 2 were down and a waiting room full of people who should of been on other machines, so it could be well into afternoon. My poor lift sat outside thinking he would be back in work by at least 12 as my app was 8.45am. So nurse said come back tomorrow and we will start again. Omg omg...i cant tell you the stress!!.
So trip for nothing, huge effort and expense to get there lift wise and emotionally bloody wrecked.
Ive just had coffee and biscuits to chill out a bit but my god what a day!!!!xxx
Thankyou Appletree for the reassurances, i know its fear of the unknown and ill probably be back on here tmrw wondering why i was in such a panic. I know you all have been or goingvthrough same journey of emotions and tribulations, so i thankyou for taking time out to help me, this forum has been godsend to me as i have no support. I hope your healing well mentally and physically too...love and hugs xxxx
I had been going to suggest imagining we are in a James Bond movie, ready to be rescued and scooped up from the couch and carried off to ..... well, somewhere luxurious, but are we at out best when stripped to the waist? I'm certainly not, what with ....... well, I won't spoil your nighttime cocoa.
Hi Thistledown, omg made me laugh that 64 yrs old woman. Haha now i think of it when i saw mine its funny but at the time i was like what the...lol...ill be sending you positive vibes at 9.00 pity you were not at my centre we could high five on way in and out haha. Good luck for tmrw ill be thinking of you let me know how you go on...love and hugs xxxxx
Thankyou Sunflower made me smile that about the rug! So true...and thanks for birthday wishes alrhough its been a quiet one this year. Im hoping ill have more birthday cheer after ive got these rads over with. I hope your healing well and are able to move forward with things. Its a tough journey for sure, but helped along by lovely friends on here who are always around to pop on and support you in times of need...im thankful for sure for this forum..love and hugs to all xxx
We are going to be fine!! Your appointment is at 8.45 so you’ve got 15mins on me, mine is 9am, let’s send each other positive vibes....
Know what you mean about the ‘anonymous thing’ , I got referred to as ‘this 64 year old lady...” - made me feel ancient as well as an impersonal sort of statistic... cheered myself up by thinking ‘lady? Nah - more retired rock chick!’ 😂
Well - we can at least use our imaginations, if nowt else - 👍
(Appletree, a drama documentary, that is certainly one great way to deal with it - hopefully my over active imagination will not turn it into an episode of a particularly difficult case for ‘House’ ...)
All the best for tomorrow - let’s rock on and kick it..
Very best of luck for tomorrow. I'm sure you'll find it all much easier than you fear. Admittedly, the couch is not designed for an afternoon nap, although I was told by one radiographer that someone managed to do just that! Imagine you are the star of a drama documentary and tell us all about it tomorrow.
There is another thing; the waiting area and treatment room will be lovely and cool as they have to be. The machines switch themselves off if they get too hot.
Thankyou Lilacmoon, its just awful isnt it when letters come like that, i had just settled myself mentally put everything in order on my head and wham, everything seemed to get all messed up again.
I thankgod for this forum though or think i would of gone mad lol.... i know what you mean about your saftey blanket taking the stuff with you to appointments, i didnt take letters but more good luck things photos of my lost mum and dad etc as my saftey blanket, really its what gives you comfort.
Ive made some lovely caring friends on here that have helped me alot even though they themselves are going through the same rough journey mentally and physically.
Im like you though i think im just a stresspot, and you would think i was leaving the country if you looked in my handbag ready for rads tmrw lol...im first on the rad bed apparently at such an early appointment each day so ill probably be the only one there. After tmrw, when i seen how it all runs im sure ill be less anxious.
i hope you are healing mentally and physically too Lilacmoon having gone through all this, and thankyou for taking the timeout to support me.
I shall be back on tomorrow to let you all know if i coped or went off to orbit the moon!...wellwishes and love xxxx
Hi Sue C, thanks for your support. Im just the same google everything. I think the reason it took me by suprize today was i had already sent in my form to say i did not want copy letters after i had my appointments. So when i got them all today i was a bit taken back. None the less it was nothing i didnt know already but it just makes everything, certainly for me a reality.
Ive put them away now and thats where they will stay lol... i hope your well on your way to top health now..hugs and wellwishes xxxx
Mcnullcc Chris....aww thanks Chris for the reassurances, im up and down about these rads by the min. It didnt help a friend saying your very brave i wouldnt have them...what a stupid thing to say...esp when i start mon!
It set me off on a right wobble, coupled with the onco letters that just reffered to me as a 59 year old woman...err hello i have got a name omg it made me mad, its daft i know but you jyst try and hang on to everything thats normal, i felt just like a number. A nobody.
Anyway ive had a rant and a wobble today, so im going to have chocolate tonight as it my birthday as a treat, bugger it all i say.
So sorry wont get to meet up at rads but thanks for all ur support it really has kept me sane...love and hugs xxxxx
Hello Thiseldown, thanks for the support keeps me going. Its a tough time for all us ladies on here, but like you say everyone jollies each other along, some days you can cope some days you cant.
I hope you rads go smoothly its just getting over first few and getting into routine really isnt it. Im always having a wobble about them, because truth be known i dont want them and i struggle with shall i, or not. But all the lovelies on here have reassured me so ill take my chances. Sending bug hugs and let me know how you go on.....you will know how i have cos ill probably be on having a meltdown at some point...much love and well wishes xxx
Just want to add my birthday wishes and sympathise with your little rant, so understandable too, I feel both ways, part of me wants the info and the other part wants to ignore it totally !
I too too am starting rads on Monday, been fretting about creams and SEs, - but happily I’ve been reassured by people on here and have got the recommended creams on standby...let’s remember we are going through this together, loads of others too..👍
Anyway, birthday Leo, remember you have ‘a natural optimism and a love of being spoilt, or at least being indulged a little,’ ( - according to my friend who knows her Zodiac, when I pointed out that we all like a little treat, she said Leos LOVE them..!!) - .so enjoy a treat today, you deserve it, have a great day.
Appletree....thankyou for birthday wishes. Its daft i know but some can take it and some cant and once ive been told info to keep me from going into anxious state, i just process it and put it in another room in my head!. i decided if i need copy for anything ill request it.
I know rads will be ok its just the stress of whole bloody thing, truth is its a battle for me as to wether to have rads or not, my mind is screaming no, but the reality is ive no choice if i want the best outcome. Anyway ill try and sing my best birthday songs today and keep cheery...hugs and well wishes to all xxxxx
Oppitmissy64 ..thankyou so much. Im trying to carry on and keep my birthday face on lol...but omg. And thanks for reassuring words on rads, i know its just fear of unknown and tbh the getting lifts there and back has caused me most stress. I know i can use hopi transport if needs be but i dont want to be hanging around for hours so if i can ill stick to lifts. Ill probably be working for NASA monday morn when im going for my rads lol i certainly will be in orbit haha. Have a good weekend yourself ....sending hugs to all xxxxx
Very sorry, Lucaboo, to read of your distress, especially as today is your birthday. I really don't know what to say, except that I do hope the day gets better for you as the minutes pass. Many virtual hugs to you.
I'm one of those people who does like to keep written records, so I put letters in a ring folder and refer to them if I need to. Even so, I do understand why you don't want reminders of what you already know; anything in writing does tend to hurt much more as it jumps off the page to us and won't go away.
As for your anxiety about rads, it is very understandable, but I'm sure you'll find that once treatment has started, it is nothing like as bad as it seems at the moment. After my first three sessions, in which I was getting used to things, the time passed very quickly and I was able to pretend I was the star of a sitcom. The screen in the goggles in front of my eyes was quite interesting, and having to concentrate on the radiographer's instructions to breath in and keep the green bar within the blue box for 20 - 25 secs whilst the machine worked, took my mind off everything else.
It's now a little over two weeks since my last rads session, my breast is still rather pink and the nipple also, but otherwise the only side effect has been fatigue, which I was advised is very common. So, I've bought myself a couple of nice, linen shifts to wear over linen trousers on hot days. Aveeeno cream rubbed into the breast, armpit and left arm twice a day has helped tremendously, as has drinking plenty of water. Sainsbury's do some delicious Juicy Water with lemons, limes and spring water, and oranges, lemons and spring water.
Treat yourself to what you fancy.
All the best for today, tomorrow, Monday and beyond.
So sorry to hear that happened lucaboo - even in simple everyday situations I get mad if people don't listen to a simple request, so if that had happened to me I would certainly be in orbit. (I'm someone who likes ALL the letters, as having the info makes me feel in control, but that's not the point, the point is that you DIDN'T want them.) So I'm sorry it tried to spoil your birthday - I really understand your fury. Try to enjloy the rest of the day a bit.
Could I offer a bit of reassurance about the rads - although there is always fear of the unknown, once you've had your first session you will wonder what you were worried about - it really is fine and the worst part for me was the sheer tedium of going to the hospital daily. I didn't burn, nor feel fatigued - drink lots of water and do whatever your unit tell you about creams. Have the best day you can under the circumstances. X
Good Morning lovelies, we i hope you all dont mind but i have to vent this morning before i fly off into orbit!. Before my last oncology appointment to discuss rads and treatment, i got a letter from breast unit to ask if i wanted every copy letter sent to gp etc after appointment with the various drs i'd already seen along the way.
Now some people may like this information, but to me once id been told it, it put me in a high anxiety state and i wanted to try keep ontop off that not read it all again and start googling various bits of info consultant had ad libbed.
Anyway i ticked the 'i do not want to recieve any copy letters from appoints or gp copies' for my own sanity. This was 3 weeks ago. I handed it in at desk at breast unit.
Today, i sat here this morn trying to calm myself ready for the start of my Rads at aintree first thing monday, im having major anxiety about them, when suddenly postman comes up the path. Its my birthday today so i try to jolly myself along keeping cancer thoughts out my head at least for 1 day. The postman pushes thro a ton of birthday card, omg i thought people must be trying to cheer me up at this time how kind.
But as i slow opened them all 4 of them it was copy letters from oncologist to gp to surgeon to bc nurse etc etc etc...i was right back to square one mentally sat in tears at the reality of it all. Why oh why dont they listen.
I know all the info in the letters i know, but to read it all again from day one omg . So thats my rant ladies im sorry, but i tried so hard today to have a day where i didnt cry.
So im off to make cup of tea now and try calm myself down. Thanks for reading...and stay well lovely ladies xxxxx