Thanks so much for the update. I’m just sorry it was a positive diagnosis. I can see you’re using all the right jargon already (I just had to google IDC and I even had it!! Mind you, I also had ILC in the same breast - just being greedy). Same rule applies throughout. If you do need chemo, you are allowed to google What to take for first chemo or, in your case, if you are worried, what happens in an MRI, but nothing about cancer. Nothing about genes and triple negatives. Those are questions you or your partner can ask your oncologist (if you are sure you want the answers) at your next appointment.
There is no competition but you can’t be more scared than I was about having chemo (I have a lifelong phobia for vomiting). I didn’t care about the cancer - only that I might be sick. I just made sure they knew I was seriously afraid and the team did the rest - no nausea, never saw any vomiting, all a tragic waste of my energy and resources which were way too low by the time I started. As you say, it’s different for everyone; we all react differently; we all carry our own baggage. The important thing to remember is that you don’t have to be passive throughout. I chose not to ask about my cancer but I made sure they made provisions for my phobia, no embarrassment, no shame. Meantime, do what you can to maintain or build up your physical strength and practise meditation/mindfulness which is going to come in handy in the coming months. I’m a great fan of the Youtube videos by Progressive Hypnosis and Michael Sealey - they got me through some tough times and still do.
Best of luck. We’ll be rooting for you x
thank you for your detailed reply, it gave me alot of comfort. I took both your advices; staying clear of Dr Google and taking my partner with me to the consultation. Oncologist confirmed I have IDC stage 1 grade 2 and told me to remember this is treatable and curable. ultrasound didn't show any signs it spread but won't know for sure till after surgery and he checks one or two nodes. lumpsectomy surgery will happen right after my MRI scan (in the next 10 days or so) and i'm still waitind for the full biopsy to determine the treatment plan depending on my ER, Her etc analysis. i occilate from total calm to panic, but i'm feeling positive and will beat this.
whilst some treatment options appear to be a smoother ride than others, despite some positive news it all still feels very grim. its a scary journey with all the unknowns but i will try take it one day at a time. i'm just praying i don't need to do chemo, that scares me the most. i'm also scared i have the BRAC gene / end up tripple negative but trying not to think about it all.
I’m sorry you’re in this position. It’s sh** isn’t it? It’s a shock and a surprise to almost everyone and, sadly, there are no clear rules about who gets it. 35 feels very young. It’s good you are getting your results tomorrow as that may mean an end to your anxiety. Most breast lumps turn out to be benign. Remember that. No one except the oncologist can reassure you as every diagnosis is different but I can tell you that my mother had a mystery case in the 1970s that went on to be used in training breast cancer specialists after that. Hers was so early that all she had was two unnoticeable partial mastectomies. No treatments. Of course, nowadays we have drugs to help prevent recurrence so you might have a treatment, if yours is a similar case. You won’t know till tomorrow.
Here comes the firm ‘lecture.’ What I wanted to advise you is to steer clear of Dr Google from now on. It’s a case of locking the stable door too late but Google is not your friend In this situation. It can’t know your specific circumstances, nor can it take into account your emotions. What it is great at is terrifying us because either it presents us with oversimplifications (as happened with me) or it presents us with information we simply don’t have the expertise to process accurately. It is far too soon to be thinking about recurrence and life expectancies when you don’t know your diagnosis.
I made a rule from the start (for personal reasons) to ask no questions, just get on with it, let them do what needed to be done. It served me well. Then, after the full whack of treatments, I decided I was in a good enough place to start asking questions. There was one question I forgot to ask, so I googled it at 2am the next morning. How I wish I hadn’t. A human being conveying the information I saw so baldly on a table would have made such a difference - as indeed it did when I confessed to my breast care nurse. What is read cannot be unread! She eased my mind by putting what I saw in a table into the context of my personal diagnosis and my anxieties settled. But that was a few days I really regretted, thinking just one look wouldn’t hurt.
You ask how can the oncologist know. It’s his job. He’s a specialist. I’d rather trust someone who treats breast cancer patients every day than something I read on Google. Discuss the likelihood of recurrence tomorrow but remember all those statistics you’ve seen include those who don’t recover, people with metastases (spreading elsewhere), people like me with heavily infected nodes and the whole range down to those with the simplest diagnosis. That’s a huge range to fit into and Google can’t fit you accurately. If your oncologist agrees there’s a risk, your thinking may be wise - I go back next month and one of my questions is whether I’d be safer with my second breast removed. I suspect I’ll be told it would make no difference.
Good luck tomorrow. I hope you’re taking someone with you in case it is bad news - it’s hard to ask your questions when you are reeling so they can ask for you - but it’s great to have someone for an instant celebration if it’s good news. And please report back here as I shall be wondering 🙂
first time poster, in fact i never thought i would ever find myself in this situation having no breast cancer in the the family, i also don’t match the usual risk factors but i guess that goes to show just how little we know about the reasons for getting breast cancer.
i found a firm lump about 2 weeks ago, GP referred to to a one-stop clinic and yesterday i had ultrasound, biopsy and mammogram. My breast consultant said i was a ‘mystery’ case, he said this because my initial biopsy have indeed suggested cancerous cells but the mammogram and ultrasound didn’t pick up anything. Is this a good sign? I’m getting an MRI done, he said if it is 100% cancerous it’s definitely early stage, but how can he know that if i haven’t don’t the MRI yet? I’m so worried and scared. Initially when he said this and told me its treatable i was relived and thought ‘cool, i’ll be fine’ but i’ve Since seen the statistics around reoccurrence, the stats that most survive more than 5 or 10 years, i’m only 35 years old... that’s not long 😞 i know this there are average statistics but i’d love to hear from others experiences, i don’t know anyone who has gone through this so it’s all so scary.
I’m seeing my consultant tomorrow for the full biopsy report, the lump size is 1.6cm on my left breast. He didn’t say mastectomy when he talk about treatments (said likely lumpectomy) but i want to reduce any chances of it coming back, so i’m seriously now considering it?
Thanks for listening..