Hello - Had MRI & CT Scan over the week-end, was very anxious.
Had a read on here before I went & when I got back to help me cope with how I felt.
I’ve been thinking its spread all over, I’ve had a pain in my thigh for ages, now I think it’s connected as it hasn’t gone away. It doesn’t bother me sometimes but it’s still there.
Also I’ve got what I’ve always thought was a Lipoma now I’m convinced it’s connected too.
My mind has gone haywire again…Even though I’ve been feeling relatively OK.
I thought I was dealing with things positively !
Got appt Thursday when I find out result of node biopsy, MRI & CT - Dreading it as don’t want to hear any more bad news…
Still not told a soul about this yet so being on here is vital to my mental health & sanity.
This group has helped me so much I think I would of cracked if I hadn’t found it.
Thank you ALL so much for your help, kindness & for putting up with me. ?
Hi MoDo,
I was wondering how you were, so it’s good to see you posting here. It’s what the forum’s for!
Again, what you’re feeling is quite usual in the early days. I also got very anxious around the mri scan, it does go with the territory & we do tend to have positive days & meltdown days.
Feeling aches & pains & worrying about other symptoms is quite usual too, but fortunately, bc tends to get picked up earlier, so it is unusual for it to have spread anywhere else when first diagnosed. It’s just the anxiety of it all.
Once the results are back & your treatment plan is confirmed, then it feels a lot better. It’s the uncertainty which is so horrible at this stage.
ann x
It is torture with the waiting and wondering. I remember it vividly especially after MRI, CT wondering what would be found. There was no evidence to suggest any spread, even to lymph nodes, prior to these tests but it didn’t stop me thinking of worse case scenarios and planning accordingly.
I think it’s quite normal in the circumstances for the mind to go haywire - whose wouldn’t?
As Ann says “it’s the uncertainty which is so horrible at this stage” - she is so spot on.
Just a couple more days and you will have your results and know where you stand. Sincere best wishes to you MoDo, X ?
It varies Modo, If you had chemo there is a chance of a hospital stay because your immunity is low so your more likely to pick up bugs, but it’s certainly not going to be for weeks. Some ladies have mild side effects and work though out and others are hit a little harder.
Radiotheraphy is painless and has very few side effects and you certainly won’t end up in hospital.
I know how hard it is but try to stop going around in circles, it’s only making you more anxious. Things will be ok have a little faith Xx
As Jo says, Modo.
The vast majority of us are not hospitalised for treatment. Depending on the surgery you have, most of us have it done as a day case, obviously, more complex surgery may require a short hospital stay.
Chemo & radiotherapy are done on an outpatient basis. Occasionally, some ladies here are hospitalised for a short time if issues arise with chemo.
As Jo says, have faith, you’ll get through it.
ann x
That’s good about waking up this morning without the “horrible dread feeling”. I am sorry to hear that your results were delayed and added to your anxiety. It’s difficult to deal with plan changes and going through waiting again. On the plus side it is good that we have access to such thorough testing.
I know you don’t want to discuss things with family members at the moment. I can understand that. I did not tell most of my family until the day before surgery, months after diagnosis as I had chemo first. It helped that they were a long distance away! I also chose to attend all appointments on my own.
However, I did share things with one family member and a close friend at the time of diagnosis. I also had an Oncology nurse and an Oncologist who were very approachable and I could vent and swear ? to, as well as using the helpline here and other telephone support.
I know you can share things through the forum but is there anyone you feel that you could share your situation with more directly and who could support you more directly? It doesn’t have to be family or friends if you don’t want to say anything yet but your BCN or a support worker at a Cancer Support Centre if you have one nearby.
You know what is best for you and to do things when you are ready and when you have the information you need. One step at a time - so easy to be overwhelmed. Yes the forum is a wonderful place for mutual support.
Sending positive hugs in advance of your appointment next week ?
Hello Modo - just to let you know that the helpline is only open til 1 today if you feel you need to talk to someone .There is always someone around on the forum pretty much any time of the day or night - insomnia comes with territory !!!
MoDo you really shouldn’t go on your own, even if just to have someone for a second pair of ears with you, this really isn’t a road you need to be travelling alone. We will all be routing for you to get the best news you can and will be here for you as always whatever happens Xx Jo
Just wanted to wish you all the best for your appointment today. If it helps, ask them to write the main things down for you in your notebook if you are taking one.
I know you say you are going on your own, however I think there will be a crowd of BCC Forum users in the consultation room with you in spirit!!
? ???
That’s wonderful, MoDo & so pleased to hear your news.
Not madness at all, honestly! We’ve all felt similarly when going through this.
Onwards & upwards
Sending hugs
ann x
Well done you for managing your appointment positively. I found waiting for CT and MRI scan results one of the worse times too. So very glad that your scan results were clear. Now you can get on with the treatment.
Maybe you can stop giving yourself a hard time - just for a little bit - and do something nice tomorrow that you find relaxing and enjoyable.
Great news MoDo, we are pretty wise old owls here but only because we have been in that anxiety spiral ourselves so could tell you with certainty that things get better once you know what’s going on.
So pleased that you have the best outcome you could have hoped for and now you can relax a bit and move on to the next step, surgery is fine and nothing to worry about but we will leave that until nearer the time, for now give yourself a well earned pat on the back for getting through yesterday!
Well, I can certainly relate to that, Sunflower ?!!!
I think there’s shades of that for all of us. Looking back, I did have a bizarre sense of guilt, god knows why!
ann x
Read your posts with such a sense of dejavu - the wait after MRI/CT scan is horrendous, every ache and pain is a sign…So pleased to read you got through it, and on your own, too!
Crikey, you have to have been strong for that, bravery is not for superheroes really, just anxiety-ridden folks like us…
Hope your next steps, surgery etc will be easier for you, I’m sure they will, - as everyone on here points out, it gets easier because you know it’s all getting dealt with by the experts now.
Good for you, anyway, you’ve been through the mill and came out, probably feeling a bit battered, but unbowed !
Remember to be kind to yourself, I had to keep reminding myself, too…still going through radiotherapy but getting there slowly.
Transvaginal involves inserting very small probe ( size of a thin tampon ) and taking a scan internally.I had a letter that stated I may have to have this but the radiographer said she could see what she needed to on conventional ultrasound so that was all that was needed .Same thing happened to a friend recently .
You may not need it - I think it is just that they can sometimes see more clearly on a transvaginal scan than on a standard one - gives them another option .Think they are pretty standard these days - I wouldn’t read too much into it .
Wondered how you were doing. I hope you have managed to chill a bit.
I have had two transvaginal scans in the past (unrelated to BC). It can give a clearer picture of any changes in the womb, ovaries or surrounding structures than an external one.
Like Jill says it’s a small probe inserted into the vagina and moved around. If you have one, you may feel some discomfort from the pressure when it is moved about but I found it no problem. It was certainly less discomfort than a post menapausal smear test!!! They can put lots of lubrication on the probe if that is a concern. The only thing I found a bit of a worry was having to have the scan on a full bladder!
Anyway, hopefully you won’t have to have one and if you do then I think you will be fine.