Hi Lizand sarah
i think you have done the right thing. Mine seems to have got the message now. I will contact her if I want something but I just feel it’s that other person in the room. We don’t have a lot of control over ourselves with this disease and I honestly find it empowering
if I was you I would email and say you don’t want them there or contact your patient welfare service at the hospital and they sort it out for you
I've now seen yet another different one!
I've told them their system isn't working for me and I am not able to develop any kind of therapeutic relationship due to the number of people I see. I also get the same repetitive 'tips' each time about my coplications, despite these being contradicted by other healthcare professionals (and they have been told this)
If anything it is now being detrimental for my emotional wellbeing.
I know how a specialist nurse role works and how it can provide a much more positive experience as I have been one!
I've now said I don't need any of them at my appointments, I am quite capable of listening, questioning, understanding and reading for myself.
The response: let's discuss it at your next appointment!
Thanks to all of you. I thought It was me. It still may be my “independent” attitude as the first BCN described me. Now they all avoid me and I get a nursing aide, all of whom treat me like a human being.
Where I live there is a team of nurses, you don't get allocated one as per NICE guidance.
I've met four of them now and one of them has made me feel like I'm being a nuisance, when I needed reassurance over some post op issues. I also don't get straight answers and conflicting information, and if I hear the words "support group or helpline' again I will scream as this isn't an arena I'm ready for yet. The others have been lovely and I would gladly see any of them again.
The friend who came to my appointment where we met her for the first time didn't warm to her either, which made me feel a lot better.
I will certainly be asking not to have her in the room at my next appointment, as I don't feel she really understands why I am struggling to accept this awful disease.
Thank you for your comments - everyone on this site has been so helpful . So glad it is not just me. All the other professionals have been great. I really liked my breast surgical nurse she just seemed so nice and normal.
I am due to get my results back in a week or so. I know she will be there despite me asking for her not to be. Does anyone know if I will be forced to liaise with the BCN against my wishes for the rest of my treatment? I just don’t want her prying into my life/ trying to tell me what I feel etc./ trying to make me cry telling me that I need to open up not hide my feelings etc ... ( I do open up to close friends and I did bucket loads of crying before my diagnosis.) I just want results, facts and to get on with it.
Ideally I want to just get on with radiology /chemo etc and just deal with the oncologist and consultant.
I thought I must be the only one who did not gel with the BCN (my husband was not keen either and found her unapproachable so not just me )
we were given final results after nearly 3 months of endless tests and procedures and given a booklet and dvd on reconstruction and had to meet with her a few days later where she talked and when we asked questions were told to wait until the end Very hard to when your mind is in turmoil and by the end could not remember what we wanted to ask .She told me what bra to purchase and what size do we went to our local shop where we were given different advice as I am having mastectomy and a reduction.On emailing her she totally backtracked and have been now told to wait !!
Like you we feel that we do not want her lack of advice ,have had so much support from the wonderful people at the end of this phone on this sight which have been so supportive every time I have spoken and asked for advice.
Hi Bookishgurl, I had a concern with one of the BCN’s at my hospital. My own BCN is fabulous but this lady is abrupt and actually managed to offend me with her reaction to my reconstruction.
I asked to see one of the others and just said that whilst I understood she probably didn’t intend to upset me I felt I would deal with my condition much better without her support so I would prefer not to have any future dealings with her. I did ask them to deliver my feedback to her as whilst I was strong enough to ignore her reaction others might have been devastated.
I don’t know if they told her but I’ve not seen her since. Not an easy situation but you need to make sure everything is done to support you xx Melanie
I was diagnosed in December and had WLE and sentinel lymph removal last week.
Im doing ok my issue is I dread going to appointments with my consultant as my BCN always tries to be present even when I ask for her not to be. She is pushy and condescending and I just don’t want her present at any of my meetings. Part of my reason for disliking her is after my initial diagnosis she pretty much held me in a room for 50 mins . Insisted on going through the BC folder page by page and bombarded with with questions about my children, my family, my friends etc. I felt like I was in with a social worker. It was all just too much . I know everyone is different but I don’t want the counselling or to keep talking about All I really wanted at that time was 10 minutes to think about it and take it in without someone making notes on me.
At the second meeting with my consultant she was also present and I asked the consultant for her not to be. The next appointment she wasn’t there and then my last appointment despite me saying I didn’t want to speak to her she still came in and said she wanted to talk through the operation with me. I declined as politely as I could.
I do my research and I don’t need anyone to dumb things down or keep going over it. Does anyone have any idea what I can do it is really making me really anxious about my appointments.