I wouldn't say "new" perspective-just keeping it all in perspective. 🙂
Marla, good to know you are human too! When I said "opened new eyes for you" I was relating to you seeing a new perspective, I guess. Now I have a vision of a brain surgeon performing their own surgery in front of a mirror. Disturbing! I hope all goes well with your treatment. It's comforting there is confidence of a total cure for you. xxx
Hi Mai-I'm not sure I understand the Q re-"opened new eyes for you"? I think that when you're the patient...all expertise goes out the window-we're all human. It would be akin to a brain surgeon performing brain surgery on themselves-they can't really do that, can they? :). Having said that, certainly for my biopsy and MRI I drew strength from my anxiety management skills that I gained from my training and skills as a therapist but I honestly don't think that being a psychotherapist (or even a medical doctor) necessarily helps someone cope with their diagnosis. Nobody wants to be told they have cancer-I'm just doing my best to keep it all in perspective:). And each of us has a different prognosis, depending on grade.
I was told at my consultation post-biopsy that my cancer is treatable and that he (the consultant) is going for a "total cure". This was reassuring. I certainly hope that the MRI hasn't changed his outlook/game plan-I shall find out on Friday. I do know that if my prognosis was bleaker, I don't think I would be coping any better than anyone else. :).
Marla, as a phychotherapist do you think your expertise has helped you to cope with your diagnosis or has it opened new eyes for you? Just interested in your new perspective. xxx
Very relieved to hear that Ann:). Thanks for your well wishes for Friday-will no doubt update you here on the week-end, if not before.
Not taken offence by anything you've written at all Marla. Hope all goes well for you at your appointment. Ann X X
Not at all-I don't think your reply was taken out of context, and my apologies if (through my own messages) it came across that way. It was very clear from your original message that you don't advocate taping without consent and I (perhaps out of turn) referrenced "naughty" only because you had, in your message.
I hope I hadn't offended you by referring to you as a naughty girl! It was really said with affection! (though that doesn't always come across via the written word).
I'm very sorry if my reply was taken out of context. I do not advocate following my example by not seeking permission before recording consultations. Rather I was trying to communicate how much comfort they gave me through treatment and beyond. Also, after talking this over with my daughter, she assured me that she DID talk to consultants etc prior to recording. My mind really wasn't on such matters at a very distressing and stressful time. Hope this clears things up.
Hi Weeannie! Thanks for your reply; it's reassuring to know that I'm not the first to think about audiotaping! (though unlike you, you naughty girl:)...I am planning on asking his consent).
I work as a psychotherapist and in therapy patients are welcome to audiotape their sessions, which is partly why this seems so normal for me. I agree with what you said re-focusing on the negatives. For me, it's more that I tend to feel anxious at the appts (largely anxious that I will forget what's being communicated)! and I *know* that I'm not processing all the information. My family are thousands of miles away (across an ocean:) and so I am taking on all roles-for myself. My parents are in their 70's and they still need me and I want to be sure I'm processing all that is said in the consults.
Thanks very much for your well wishes. I, too, hope it's as positive an appointment it can be.
Hi Mai-thanks for your reply. I think at this stage it would be fair to say that it's *all* worrying me:) but that's separate from my desire to retain what's discussed in the consultation. I did take my clipboard to my 1st appointment but my writing is not fast (he was speaking faster than I could write) and I don't want to take up his time but saying "please slow down" so it made sense to me to consider audio taping the next consultation.
I am planning to ask if he is OK with me recording it; I wouldn't do it without his consent.
I recorded all of my consultations with oncologists, radiologists and surgeons when I was diagnosed back in 2013. I actually didn't think to ask whether they minded or not. Perhaps very naughty of me. It was my daughter who came up with the idea after I could hardly remember a thing that was said to me on diagnosis. The thing is, that when I listened to the recordings later, I realised that I had focused on the negatives and that there were quite a few positives that I hadn't heard. Made me feel so much better when I listened to the replays. Would def do the same again and would highly recommend it to new patients. Hope you hear loads of positives at your appointment. Ann X X
Hi Marla, if you ask your consultant how they feel about it then I see nothing wrong in having an audio record rather than written. I just took a notepad with me and jotted down my questions in advance and left a space between each question for the answer. I understand your perfectionist nature as I can be a bit that way sometimes but its a time when you need to let go of the control a little bit. Is there anything in particular worrying you? xxx
I plan on going to my MRI results appointment on my own this Friday and read on another breastcancer forum that it is perfectly reasonable for women who do go to their appts. alone, to ask if they can audio tape the consultation-just so I can take it all in when I get home later. Im interested in your thoughts on this? I don't want the consultant to think I will use the recording in court! or anything sinnister like that-but as we all know, when in a heightened state of anxiety-it's difficult to remember everything said, and though I plan on taking notes, and I realise the nurse will too, I am confident neither one of us will get everything down on paper. I'm a bit of a perfectionist and don't want to miss anything as a result of my emotional state.
On another note-but somewhat related....I honestly cannot believe how many decisions BC patients have to make-it's one decision after another. For this reason, I want to be fully informed (and not miss anything from the consult) before I make any decisions.
With that, do you think it's a reasonable request or will I compromise my relationship with him/will it undermine the BC nurse?