Breastcarenurse

[monicamini]

Thanks again for your reply. We are obviously very different in our needs and wants for support. 

[delly]

Hi again, monicamini

It isn't unusual for BC consultants to hand over any "emotional" support to their BCN, when delivering such news, and to then leave them to then further advise you.

Yes, I understand you saying "I only wanted to deal with my own emotions". But my response was based on what you said in your initial post, where you basically answered your own question with, "or am I displacing my emotion onto some poor woman, who was only trying to do her job?". Yes, she was only trying to do her job.

And Yes, the BCN's ""My" ladies" could have been reworded to a much longer winded "the other ladies I'm currently taking care of, looking after, and supporting". But...., in the bigger, more serious picture of things, it all amounts to the same thing really. Don't you think? It shows she obviously takes a serious "personal" caring interest in her/"my ladies" that she's caring for, however it's worded. Doesn't it??

Seriously, Monicamini, I would not waste your energy dwelling on such things. You need ALL the help you can get, sweetheart, to fight and get through this bleepin disease, as much as you would wish not to have to, and would wish to be able to control it. You're better preserving such energy for battling faaar more important things.

But if you reeeally cannot stand your BCN's choice of words, then yes, ask to change to another. If there IS another. 

I truly hope all goes well with and for you. Delly xXx

[monicamini]

Thanks for your reply. I will certainly ask any questions that I have. 

[monicamini]

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate the fact that everyone is different  and we all need different levels if support. I was alone to get my results bevause I only wanted to deal with my own emotions . I had been told at my initial appointment that it almost certainly was malignant so it didnt come as a big surprise. Tad oversensitive? Perhaps so 

[delly]

Hi monicamin

Personally, had I been on my own when receiving my 1st BC results, I'd have reeeally appreciated having the BCN with me to lean on, prop me up from the shock. And then be able to explain the results in more detail, once I'd calmed. Though, as it was, it was such a shock, even with someone with me, I didn't take an awful lot in, so saw her again for another result explaining appointment a couple of days later. They are probably much more used to, and geared up to people being extremely upset by their results, hence offering their support at the time of. 

I was alone the 2nd time, so I was very glad to have the BCN there. Both times, throughout my treatment, I could not fault either of my BCN's in their caring, sympathetic manner and support. We developed a good "friendly" relationship with a mutual respect, at the same time as them always being professional. So neither would I have been bothered by the "my ladies" remark. I would have considered it "friendly" and a "personal touch". Don't know what I'd have done without them, in fact. They helped support me and made it that much easier to deal with it all.

I think you're being a tad oversensitive.

Hope all goes well with your treatment(s) and All Good Wishes to you for a Speedy Healing and Recovery.   Delly 

[Evie-S]

@monicamini - welcome to the forum, but I’m very sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I want to start by sending you big gentle hugs and I hope you will find lots of support and help from this forum as you go through treatment. If you have any questions about the forum please ask, and I don’t know if you have discovered the lovely nurses on here who can help if you have medical questions, or if you just need someone to talk to. They can be contacted by phone (number at the top of this page) or via the nurses’ board.

Going back to your question - it’s very important that you feel comfortable and supported by your team, and especially when you have just been diagnosed. Unfortunately sometimes you come across someone whose bedside manner is lacking, or who you just don’t feel you click with. At my hospital there is a team of BC nurses, and I’m sure that’s the case everywhere, so perhaps you could ask if you could have a different one - perhaps just have a discreet word with the head of the team?

If I, or others on here, can help with any questions at all please don’t hesitate to ask. Or anytime you just want to offload just go ahead, everyone on here understands and “gets it” without you having to explain. Evie xx

[monicamini]

Hi all

am new to this forum . I was given the confirmed diagnosis last week by a doc then left with a Macmillan Breast Care nurse to advise me what was going to happen next. Unfortunately I didn’t have a good experience with her. I felt she was patronising  and  questioning my choice to be alone when receiving my results. It was almost like she wanted me to cry😩Has anyone else experienced this and is it acceptable to ask for a different key worker? Or am I displacing my emotion on

to some poor woman who was only trying to do her job. She referred to other women she had dealings with as ‘my ladies’

Thoughts please anyone