Hi Maryah, I totally understand how you feel. I was afraid to show how scared I was as I didn’t want to upset my loved ones. I think we become a bit numb as a coping mechanism. I felt like I was crying inside like it was down a deep well but I couldn’t externalise it. I didn’t cry properly until I finished treatment and then I cried for a whole year. I still get the odd trigger but less and less. Well done for writing as it helps you to understand what the heck is going on inside your head! Can you allow yourself a private meltdown to release the tension? What’s the worst which could happen if you get upset in front of your loved ones? Whatever emotions you have are all normal in this situation. I’m glad you have your operation date now and you can get yourself prepared. Sending hugs. X
It’s a very distressing time when you are initially diagnosed. I was in a cloud when I started treatments in June 18, however as time went on, I settled into the routine of treatments and appointments.
You will settle into the coming months, no doubt you will explode, I did.
10 months on all my treatments are over and cancer free, time will fly, I remember the BCN telling me time will fly, she was right.
Take one day at a time, cry, scream, shout get it all out, don’t bottle it up.
Wr are here for you.
Take care of yourself.
I received a call from one of the breastcare nurses, who advised my lumpectomy operation is to be on April 2nd.I still can’t believe this is all happening, so far I have put on this brave face, acting as though I’m fine, I think really I’m bottling all my emotions up and soon they will explode out, I haven’t cried because I don’t want to upset those close to me, but I want too cry, is that weird ?
It helps just to write this down, even if no one reads it, thank you.......
Hi Maryah, It really is like waking up in a nightmare that is your actual life but it does get easier over time and especially once your treatment plan is in place. The anxiety is very hard to cope with at first and you find yourself building lots of scenarios in your mind that you really don't like very much. As others have said lots of us have been through this and are getting on with life again. Here's my story which you may find some comfort from as well as a few useful coping tips: http://lifeafterlola.com/
Best wishes and keep coming on here as we understand what you are going through.
Things are moving on now, I saw consultant on Friday, he confirmed the diagnosis, and has ordered further mammogram, MRI, and blood tests.
Bloods were done same day, and MRI is this afternoon 😮
It’s quite normal to feel as you do at the mo, as getting diagnosed is a shock.
This stage is difficult, but honestly, it does settle down when your treatment plan is confirmed.
When I was first diagnosed, I found it helped to take things a stage and an appointment at a time & try not to let the mind race ahead.
Most importantly, it can now be dealt with & treatment outcomes are some of the best around, with recovery the normal outcome.
Do come & chat whenever you want to.
Biopsy results day!
I have lobular breast cancer at the moment I’m told it’s 14mm, stage 2, but will need an MRI to confirm size and grade.
I have an appointment to see a consultant tomorrow so will get more information regarding surgery timescales etc.
At the moment I feel as though I’m in nightmare waiting to wake up. I suppose it takes time ti sink in.
I don’t really come on here very often as I’m now living my life positively but this forum was a godsend when I was in your position. That could have been me writing your post over 2 years ago - same thing, mammogram, called back, left breast lump, ultrasound, biopsy then confirmed as invasive ductal carcinoma - I had a mastectomy but I’m living life to the full now and just had my 2nd annual mammogram all clear - keep your chin up because as difficult as it is now it WILL get easier xxx
I was diagnosed just before Christmas 2018. I have now had WLE lumpectomy and SLN Removal in Jan so from diagnosis to removal in a month . I can honestly say up to now the worst part for me has been waiting for the biopsy results and the initial official diagnosis . I had almost a two week wait and my head was all over the place ... would it be my last Xmas etc? . Weirdly once I got my diagnosis it was as if a huge weight had been lifted. I just went into practical mode. Consultant gives you a plan of what they are going to do, sometimes orders mri and introduces you to your breast cancer nurse ( they seem to be a mixed bag some are angels others not so much - I avoid mine ). By joining this group there are loads of women who have been in the same situation as you. I have found it really helpful . Even just reading - you don’t have to comment.
I always feel like I am waiting ... for appointments/results etc especially as everything has to go via a multi disciplinary team meeting once a week before you get to hear anything. Get used to being the last to know lol In reality things are moving pretty quickly.
We've all been there!
As ever it"s the uncertainty of not knowing that's so hard to handle, as the mind goes into overdrive in filling in the gaps. However, it always feels better when everthings confirmed & you know where you're going with it.
This stage does pass.
Its crazy isn’t it, there were times I would give anything for time to veg out and watch tv but I can’t concentrate on anything.
I have never been a patient person, even as a child.
Hope all goes well for you.
The waiting is the worst part, sadly we have all been there. I am honestly going mad! Being used to working full time and a really busy life - never enough time in the day..... Now I just don't know what to do with myself.
I am also still waiting for appointments etc, feels like its going on forever, I just want options. I could honestly scream somedays. Hope it all comes together for you soon. x
How on earth do people cope with the waiting, I am literally counting down days until my biopsy results are in. The waiting is driving me crazy. Any advice?
Sorry you have found yourself here, but the help and advice from all the ladies will really support you.
Reading your story so far is like reading mine from a year ago! I had my first ever mammogram end Jan was recalled 12th Feb for mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy. Then the dreaded wait for 10 days. The waiting is the worst, once you know the results you will be able to cope much better.
My lump was cancer, luckily they had a slot on the following Tuesday (diagnosed on the Thursday 22Feb ) for a WLE and sentinel node biopsy. Luckily for me no node involvement, just followed by a course of radiotherapy.
Now a year on, have had my first mammogram since treatment and all is tickety boo!
Do keep us updated and know this is a safe place to let your emotions out. We have all experienced that fear and panic.
Lots of love
Hello Mary -welcome! Most of us have been where you are right now and it's horrible - the anxious waiting is awful - strangely it gets better once you know what you are dealing with and can get on with some treatment .Like Ann has said the vast majority of us with breast cancer have good outcomes.Try not to Google but come and talk here to others who understand or if you have specific questions go to Ask the Nurses section or phone the helpline and talk to someone directly .Fingers crossed for you .Jill .
Sorry to see you here, but there’s loads of support & between us all, we’ve been through everything that bc can throw at us.
There’s no getting round it, but the next couple of weeks will feel difficult, simply because you don’t have all the info yet & what is to be done about it. Therefore, the mind goes into overdrive in filling in the gaps. However, this stage will pass & you’ll feel better when your treatment plan is in place.
The important thing is, it can now be dealt with & outcomes are excellent now.
It’s best to avoid general googling at this stage as you don’t have the info, it wont reassure & makes any anxiety a whole lot worse. If you need info the use reputable sites like this one & come & chat whenever you need to.
Had a mammogram 28 January 2019 and received letter a week ago asking me to come in for further tests. What a long week that was! Anyway went to screening centre this morning and had mammogram, I waited a short while then called in to be shown results, a lump on my left breast.
The doctor then did a ultra sound and an examination and confirmed that it is almost certainly breast cancer. I then had a biopsy which I now have to wait an agonising two weeks for results.
I already have appointment to see a consultant straight after receiveing biopsy results.
I am so scared, I want to be brave for my husband and children but inside I’m screaming.