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Diagnosed 5 days ago and so scared

12 REPLIES 12
LBow82
Member

Re: Diagnosed 5 days ago and so scared

Thanks. My mum and sisters are coming to visit. They live 3 hours away so will be good to see them. 

Will let you know. 

Enjoy your weekend too. 

L x 

Nicky453
Member

Re: Diagnosed 5 days ago and so scared

Try and enjoy your weekend and your appointment will soon be here. Let us know how you get on. Take care nicky xxx

LBow82
Member

Re: Diagnosed 5 days ago and so scared

Hi Nicky. Thank you for your message. The waiting and not knowing is awful, every day feels like a year - only 6 more to go! When I have time to think my mind goes in to overdrive and I imagine all sorts of scenarios, which I’m sure isn’t helping! 

I think we are going to wait until we know what my treatment plan will be and then decide how much to tell our 4 year old. As she is so young I’m not sure how much she will understand. 

L x 

Nicky453
Member

Re: Diagnosed 5 days ago and so scared

Hi lbow82 thought I would just pop in and say hi. You’re at the really difficult time now with the waiting around and not knowing your treatment plan but honestly it gets easier when you know what your facing . With regards to the kids, I have 2 aged 14 and 8 so older than yours but I didn’t tell them anything until I’d had my lumpectomy and then only told my 14 yr old daughter that I had a lump and had it taken out and was waiting on wether I would need chemo or not. My 8 yr is still none the wiser , I chose not to tell him as I was up and about the next day and he didn’t notice anything. I had made the decision that if I needed chemo I would have to tell him something but luckily just radiotherapy and tamoxifen. I knew he wouldn’t understand as I didn’t look or act Ill . Everybody is different in their approach and you know your kids better than anybody so it has to be a personal choice. Happy to answer any questions if I can help. Stay strong you’ve got this xxnicky xx

LBow82
Member

Re: Diagnosed 5 days ago and so scared

Thank you for your reply and advise. I will look into the Mummy’s Lump booklet. 

I am 37 so haven’t considered myself ‘young’ for a few years but from what I have read I am young for this horrible disease. I will look for the thread. 

Thanks

 

L x 

Joemic
Member

Re: Diagnosed 5 days ago and so scared

Hi L

 

Very sorry that you find yourself here and understand just how scary, shocking and unreal a diagnosis of breast cancer is but you will find lots of support on here.

I'm not sure how old you are but there is a specific thread on the forum for younger women which you may find of benefit.

 

Regarding your children, I don't think there are any set rules on how to tell them. There is a booklet called 'Mummys Lump' (BCC164) available from the main breastcancernow site, look under publications. You can order a copy or download it for free, this might give you some ideas on how to broach the subject with your children.

 

Joemic x

LBow82
Member

Re: Diagnosed 5 days ago and so scared

Thank you for your reply. I still can’t believe this is happening to us. 

Do you mind if I ask how you told your 6 year old? Our eldest is almost 5, we haven’t told her anything yet. We are waiting to find out my treatment plan. I’m not sure how much to tell her and how much she will understand at such a young age. I don’t want to scare her but I also want to prepare her for what’s to come. 

I hope you are having a better day. 

L x 

reziah1283
Member

Re: Diagnosed 5 days ago and so scared

Ah hun really feel for you. I got diagnosed on the 16th Sept and had my first chemo last Monday. I have a 6 year old and a 10 year old and I have been and felt strong so far but its easy to say be strong.  Not easy to feel. Please talk to whoever you can around you.  I find it easier to talk to anyone but family. Yesterday was a killer as it was the first time I broke down because of my pain but please also talk to the drs and nurses. They are great. Here for any questions you have xxx

LBow82
Member

Re: Diagnosed 5 days ago and so scared

Thank you for your reply. Yes, I think this is going to be the longest week of my life! 

I wasn’t sure if I could contact the breast care nurse until results have been given but may give her a call as she was lovely when we met her at our diagnosis appointment. I will probably just end up crying down the phone to her!! But I suppose they are used to that. 

I have avoided google as I know it will scare me even more! 

L x 

LBow82
Member

Re: Diagnosed 5 days ago and so scared

Thank you for your lovely reply and sharing your experiences.

My partner has been amazing and he was the one listening at our diagnosis appointment. I think I said “no, I don’t want it”! Like I had a choice!
I am holding it together through the day but once the girls are in bed I do have a good cry. 
We have told close family but we live 3 hours away from them. They have been as supportive as they can over the phone. My mum and sister are coming down next week when we have our results appointment to look after the girls. 

G has a similar attitude to you - wait until we have all the facts because that’s all we can do. We can’t change what’s happening but we can do everything possible to fight it. 

 

I have avoided google because I know that it will just scare me more. I have stuck to this website and ventured on to the Macmillan site last night. 

 

Good luck with your annual check. 

L x 

Jaybro
Member

Re: Diagnosed 5 days ago and so scared

Hi Lbow

 

First, I’m so sorry that you’re in this position, particularly with a young family. You aren’t even free to express your true emotions. However, those emotions can be pretty powerful and pretty destructive to your wellbeing so don’t keep it to yourself. Involve trusted loved ones - don't worry about upsetting them - YOU matter right now.

 

I can’t say don’t worry - you’d have to be superhuman. I’d say it’s early days. There are many forms of breast cancer, each with their own treatments. My mother had it first in her early 40s - she had partial mastectomies and no further treatment. I have a friend who opted for a full mastectomy and only needed hormone therapy. I needed the full works. So it all depends. Wait till you know what your consultant knows before worrying. 

 

As for prognoses, my preferred attitude is why worry about something you can’t change. I’ve accepted all the recommended treatments and I am currently cancer-free. Statistics can say what they like but they can’t say whether I’ll be in, rough example, the 75% who remain cancer-free or the 25% who don’t. Who knows? I say ‘preferred’ because I have the occasional blip and then shrug it off again. Right now I’m having a blip as I face my first annual check. Once that’s over and I get the all-clear (how could anything survive those treatments!!!) I’ll go back to shrugging. But please, don’t consult Google - it’s almost guaranteed disaster. Ask the nurses here (phone number above), ask your team at the hospital, ask your GP, even ask us - but not a search engine that can’t personalise the information.

 

One piece of advice, from my experience - do take someone with you to your appointment. It’s hard to take everything in and to ask the questions you want to ask. My friend sat and took notes (she’s ultra-organised) and asked practical questions she thought I might have asked. All I said was ‘F***’ and then sat in a haze, much to my amusement when I think back. Yes, you can think back and find funny things. It’s not a great experience and there are interminable waits but we’ve all got through.

 

Good luck with your results. Keep us updated,

 

Jan x

 

Sandpiper
Member

Re: Diagnosed 5 days ago and so scared

Hi LBow82,

Very sorry to hear about your diagnosis. This waiting to find out what treatment you need is a very difficult time. We have all been through it and we have all imagined the very worst. The days seem to go by very slowly. Once you have a treatment plan you will be able to focus on that and that may help you. In the meantime try to look after yourself as well as you can and get support from people around you that you trust. You could ring the breast nurse specialist at your unit or the nurse helpline on this site for support as well. Everyone says keep away from Dr Google - just keep to sites like this one and Macmillan.

Sandpiper

x

LBow82
Member

Diagnosed 5 days ago and so scared

Hi. I was diagnosed with breast cancer 5 days ago. I have had a mammogram and MRI scan but have to wait another 9 days for the results and to find out what treatments I will need. I am 37 and have two beautiful daughters who are 4 years and 7 months. I am terrified that I won’t see them grown up.