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Diagnosed with Recurrence of same cancer I had 19 years ago 2 new tumours

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Seagulls
Member

Re: Diagnosed with Recurrence of same cancer I had 19 years ago 2 new tumours

I went to a fabulous AlAnon convention in Birmingham on Friday to today which was held in the Hilton Metropole Hotel where I swam in the hotel pool and got fantastic support from the lovely people there mainly women because they can be so badly affected by an alcoholic relationship. I am afraid I looked at the NHS site on breast cancer saying don’t drink and don’t be overweight, but they say they don’t know whether there is any relationship between these things and breast cancer. So why say it except to make people feel guilty? I am not overweight and I don’t drink but I didn’t take tamoxifen for five years, I didn’t go for any follow up (now discouraged by NICE guidance on treatment for primary breast cancer), had no 3 yearly mammograms (Cochrane Review said they are on balance detrimental in overdiagnosing less serious cancers, leading to unnecessary treatment, plus not diagnosing fast growing cancers appearing between 3 year intervals…so there you are. Breast cancer and a mastectomy that will take 6 weeks to recover from leaving me with a numb chest and body image problems. If I was a man it would be equivalent of losing my penis. Maybe I am exaggerating! My husband recently asked if I was a lesbian. That is an honour. Al-Anon is mainly a group of women, some of whom are gay and we support everyone whatever sexuality people feel comfortable with, and all communities. We recognise we need to do more to encourage Black, Asian, people who are of diverse racial mix, I don’t want to use the term mixed race, disabled people, yes we want to make everyone welcome and keep an open mind. that’s what I should do when it comes to surgery, but I think my previous experience has influenced my feelings now, together with the pressure to make snap decisions to meet Government Targets. I have tickets for an early music festival in York at a hotel called the Bar Convent, with prebooked train tickets there and back on 10 to 12 July in a couple of weeks. Mastectomy takes 6 weeks to recover from, you have drains to carry round with you. It’s all rather draining for a Seagull who likes to fly free…

Seagulls
Member

 
suzan
Member

Re: Diagnosed with Recurrence of same cancer I had 19 years ago 2 new tumours

Hi seagulls well you have certainly been through the mill  > and looking after your mum must be very hard for you .   I admire your tenacity   .And I know how hard it is being able to look after yourself. And its very hard not being able to trust your other half with looking after you .  Must admit I have much the same problems.  I feel I am the only person I can rely on  .You are very brave supporting him financially and 6 years sober is quite an accomplishment on his part, but the fear must always be that he can relapse at any time. I dont know how you coped with the abuse, somehow we manage to get through whatever life throws at us but its very hard,  As to the cancerMine was a recurrence or new cancer they couldent tell   They also said that radiotherapy can cause cancer after a long time   , but that the treatment will be the same   . I suppose now its a case of waiting to see what the treatment may be.  Somehow you must take time to look after yourself even if its only for the odd hour  best wishes suzan

Seagulls
Member

Re: Diagnosed with Recurrence of same cancer I had 19 years ago 2 new tumours

All I have been told is that it is a recurrence of the rare cancer I had diagnosed in 2003 6 months after I found a lump which they told me was a fibroadenoma. When I had it removed after 5 months, a month later I was told it was glycogen rich clear cell carcinoma of the breast and I had to have another operation to clear the margins, followed by radiotherapy followed by 5 years of tamoxifen. I did most of this but stopped taking tamoxifen after about two years as it was expensive and I didn’t like the side effects. I had radiotherapy that stopped about mid May. I was back at work and had read mammograms didn’t work, I was told my mammograms were clear. The oncologist kept questioning me when I said I was premenopausal and seemed to treat women as idiots. I was 48 when I finished treatment and I was 54 when I reached the menopause. By the time I was 52 or so I had paid off my mortgage as I was worried about losing my house when I got ill. Then I got married at 58 as I thought I should get on and make a life with my husband. I haven’t talked about breast cancer for about 15 years or thought about it. 

Then over the last year my operated on breast started looking a better shape, which was great, but it was a bit tender especially when I put a bra on = which I hardly ever did. I met some women at a bereavement group who had recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and I started to wonder if there was anything wrong. I finally found time to check. Normally I look after everyone else including my 95 year old mother’s care and financial affairs (she has Alzheimer’s) so I never seemed to have any time for my own care. 

My husband is an alcoholic and I support him financially and he is quite self centred, although today he celebrated 6 years sober. We have been married 9 years and together 12 years so I have had periods when he was actively drinking and behaving abusively so I don’t trust him to look after me and my health. As I now have 2 tumours each 2 cm I have a combined 4 cm tumour and I feel this could shorten my life, but there’s nothing I can do about it. The hospital pathologists are doing further tests maybe to establish if it is oestrogen positive but I don’t know how they will find out if it has spread to my lymph nodes as I had a lot of them removed when I had my first diagnosis. they were negative then but how do they test my lymph nodes now? I am going on far too much but I am nearly 66 now, I was 47 when I found the first lump I had, and somehow I have unknowingly lived with the same cancer for 19 more years unknowingly assuming they are correct that I have a recurrence of the same rare cancer. Cheers seagulls

suzan
Member

Re: Diagnosed with Recurrence of same cancer I had 19 years ago 2 new tumours

Hi seagulls have you finally got a diagnosis   I went 18 years   couldent get my head around the fact that it was such a long time ago.  How are you and whats the treatment      best wishes  suzan

Seagulls
Member

Re: Diagnosed with Recurrence of same cancer I had 19 years ago 2 new tumours

Thank you Jill

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Diagnosed with Recurrence of same cancer I had 19 years ago 2 new tumours

Sorry you have had bad news but I understand the feeling of relief after lots of anxious waiting you at least now know what you are dealing with . I hope you get a clear plan forward soon xx 

Seagulls
Member

Diagnosed with Recurrence of same cancer I had 19 years ago 2 new tumours

I must say it’s a relief to know what it is. I don’t like mysteries. Onward and upward