Sorry to find yourself here. I was only diagnosed last Thursday and felt relieved at first because at least I now know what I am dealing with, but then the emotions started to hit me one minute I was OK and then I felt down about it. The worst bit was the unknown waiting for the results.
I have never been too scared to tell anyone and the ones I have told have all been very supportive. I am pleased that you found the courage to tell your children as you can support each other.
As others have said there is no right or wrong way to feel.
I'm the same age as you..kids grown up and live away from home... well, one lives up the road but I had to ring to let them know the minute I came out of the clinic after my appointment!
When I rang them to tell them about my diagnosis back in August 2018 I actually lost the ability to speak...it was such a huge shock being told I had cancer! I was screaming inside my head!
At this moment in time you just need to let it all sink in...there's no right or wrong way to feel... you have to think of yourself and come to terms with your diagnosis...
I did find that once I'd been given more info about my treatment I started to slowly accept things!
Thinking about you...hope all goes well with your treatment x 🎀💗
Thank you for your encouragement, it is so helpful to me and I shed a few tears but like you say, that's ok. I'm glad to hear everything's going well for you. Well, I told my children yesterday and there were a few more tears. The hardest thing I've ever done but glad I have. I'm 56 so they're grown up and living away from home now so two I had to tell over the phone. I fully understand how hard it must have been to tell your children at uni. Thank you again x
Hi Clarabelle, sorry you find yourself here. Everything you are feeling is very normal at this stage. I found it hard to tell people but once it’s out everyone can support you. I felt a huge sense of guilt at giving people news which would make them feel sad. My kids were away at University at the time. My diagnosis was March 2017 and I was stage 3 locally advanced. After chemo, surgery and radiotherapy, I’m still here and doing very well. You don’t have to be strong and positive all of the time, it’s ok to work through the full myriad of emotions. I promise you will laugh again but there’s a lot to take on board for now. Sending hugs back at ya. X
Thanks so much for your reply Naid. It's really helpful to hear your advice and what you focussed on when telling family as I will be doing this very soon. I'm so glad to hear that everything is going well for you. Many thanks for replying x
Hi Clarabelle, so sorry you find yourself in this situation. There is nothing that can prepare us for the impact of a cancer diagnosis. I was diagnosed back in February and I walked around in shock for a few days, feeling disconnected from the world. I also found telling my children (14 & 20 years) tough, but I tried to focus on the fact that the cancer had been detected, so now it could be treated and not left to get worse and I told them how great breast cancer treatments and outcomes are these days.
I think you're doing the right thing by reaching out to people. Since my diagnosis I've communicated with a lot of women online and in person (through a monthly breast cancer support group) and it's helped me a lot. I also recommend phoning the Breast Cancer Care helpline or the Macmillan helpline if you need more support (both services are amazing!) It's also worth checking if there are any support groups in your area.
What I've found the most reassuring is how many women I've met who have come through this. When we are first diagnosed, it's easy for our brains to jump to worst case scenarios but breast cancer treatments are highly effective. Like I said, I was diagnosed in February and right now 4 months on I am cancer free and healing nicely (both emotionally and physically)
While I waited for results (which is hellish!) I focused on looking after myself: trying to relax (although I found this one nigh on impossible!), eating good food, plenty of water, walking in the local park etc. Things to help prepare my body for the surgery and recovery
Big hugs, Naid xx
I went to the breast clinic yesterday, expecting another cyst but was told it's cancer and I'm looking at some kind of operation plus follow up depending on the results. Such a shock and I don't know how to feel or be. My husband knows and I've told two friends but the difficult one will be telling my children and parents. The thought makes me tearful but I need to be positive for them. Then there's the wait for biopsy results so I don't really know what I'm dealing with yet. I feel sick to my stomach but trying to do normal things. Sending a hug to anyone else in the same boat.