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Diagnosed yesterday 😒

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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Hi Magsta, sorry to hear you have found yourself here, I was diagnosed about4 weeks ago, so far been told it's Grade 1 ductal 33mm with some other  small spots in same breast, ultrasound showed no lymph involvement.  I was only given the option of a mastectomy but then had to decide whether to reconstruct or not.  It's a tough decision to make and one that only you can make.  I found my BCN helpful, she showed me photos of ladies who had all types of surgery, prothesis, bras etc and I was also lucky to know ladies who are both living with one breast flat and one who had double recon from with expander implants.  Both are equally happy, one 2 years post diagnosis and the other 10 years.  I am not reconstructing, it still will be an option in the future tho.  I think you will know what your choice will be deep down, you must do what feels right for you, ask lots of questions.  My surgery I on 16th may so I'll pop back and let you know how I get on.  I'm totally scared and don't know what treatment awaits me, still haven't had Her2 result but it is er+.  We have a thread May surgery and quite a few ladies already had ops and reconstructions and all doing well, perhaps have a read?  Now going to kick my morning gremlins into touch, I hate mornings but find a quick visit on here perks me up and stops me feeling alone.  Sending hugs Kip

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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Thank you Anniej
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Hi Magsda,  I had a Dexa scan to get a base reading before I started taking Letrozole. Letrozole thins bones. The scan was very easy and painless. Just lay flat and the machine passes over. As I had lymph node involvement the decision was taken to also irradiate the lymph nodes on the sub clavicle. This meant the radiotherapy sessions were slightly longer. First the breast was irradiated, then the machine was repositioned for the sub clavicle. As the skin is quite delicate there was some redness caused. The unit provided a range of skin care products which worked wonderfully. Please let the rads team know of any problems immediately so it can be nipped in the bud. I welcomed the rads as it meant my treatment was nearly over and the bell was in sight. Much easier than chemo. Good luck to everyone still on their journey. XY

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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Ann-m.. this is part of my confusion.. I'm to have the masectomy next month. Any treatment will be after! They want a desision by Monday regarding staying flat for now or doing the long recon using tummy. Implant is not in the mix any more really as he said rads may damage ect 😲
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Hi Magsta,
Well, that’s great news about the ct results, so that’s one main thing out of the way.
Pending results of investigations, treatment plans can change & so they should, to make sure you’re getting the best plan for you. It doesn’t help the anxiety though!
Try to take it a stage at a time & not to leap ahead into the β€˜what ifs,’ your team will explain what’s needed. If rads is needed, then my understanding is recon is usually delayed until afterwards, so there’s plenty of time to decide what you’d want to do about it.
The most important thing is, you’re now well on the way to getting it sorted out.
Sending hugs
ann x
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

It wasn't too bad really. I'm just finding everything nerve racking at the moment. Ct results came back good. Apart from the lymph nodes area. Which we knew anyway. But was told yesterday that I will very likely need chemo or/And rads. I wasn't told this last week at diagnosis. It was hormone treatment and masectomy. So this upset me so so much. And one had rads after surgery ..In particular with an implant ? The doc advised against implant because if this. I'm so confused and worried about recon using tummy ect. 😒
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Yeah that's right but looks like Magsta was talking about the bone scan that you have for staging.
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Told just over a week ago I have her 2postive. Totally scared, trying to be very positive . On letrozole, staring herceptin within two weeks. Trying to get through the fear every day .going on bike rides to challenge my strength.
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Told just over a week ago I have her 2postive. Totally scared, trying to be very positive . On letrozole, staring herceptin within two weeks. Trying to get through the fear every day .going on bike rides to challenge my strength. 

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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Hi Magsta,

Just to jump in here, at the second appointment after you've he radioactive stuff put in the scan takes about 30/45 minutes. If you can relax and keep your eyes shut it's easier.
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Gill

 

I think the bone scan to tthat which Magsta is having, you are right he one you had for bone density which is a Dexa scan to check bone desity as you say because we are on hormone tablets. This should be repeated every 2 years.  My oncologist is booking me in for another in July this year so that he can check against the first one how I am doing.

 

xxx

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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Jumping in here sorry. Being nosey. Is this for bone density? If so I had mine today but no injection and took 10 mins. It could be a different bone scan we are talking about as mine was done because of rads and hormone tabs and long term effects. Not sure if it’s rads or tabs that it’s done for as read that many leaflets over the last 24 hours I’m getting a bit lost. But hope I have helped in some way.
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Well first appt is 9.40. Injection for bone scan. Return 3 hrs later for scan. My Maggies appt is 1.30.... I hope i have enough time. Anyone know how long the scan takes?
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

I will be taking a friend. She will be very good at listening where I may wander off in thought.
Thank you all for your support. ❀
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Just to add, Magsta, it’s the uncertainty of not knowing when waiting for results that is the worst part, as the mind goes into overdrive in trying to fill in the gaps. It does get better when we know where we are with it all.
You will cope, we all do & before you know it, you’ll be quite likely supporting others coming after you.
ann x
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

It is was a big mistake looking around and I don't know why I do it to myself.. the fear is immense.
Went to gp yesterday, who was very nice but I didn't leave there feeling any calmer. There was no reassurance. She said I can go back every 2 weeks to see her if I want Or can.
Maggie's centre is not far from me. I do have an appt there on Friday for surgery seminar. Also my bone scan is booked for that day. Had ct last night. Very scared of results. I feel if I feel like this now how would I ever cope I'd there was more bad news to come. It is so overwhelming
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Magsta it is frightening to read the reacurrance stories but there are many more ladies who come through the forum then move on never to return once they are treated , the success stories are out there it's just they don't post about them. I was equally terrified in the early days but the more knowledge you gain the less frightening things seem honestly.

 

Im in touch on Facebook with a group of a dozen ladies who were diagnosed around the same time as me, we all used this forum but now it's only 2 of us that do but the others are doing great 3 years on they just don't feel the need to be on here anymore. 

 

I lost my mum to breast cancer but I don't live in fear of going the same way, I know she didn't give hereself a chance as she didn't get help soon enough and by that I mean about 5 years too late sadly, I didn't understand the implications at the time but I do now and had she sought help in the beginning she would likely still be with us. Treatment is good and for the most part successful. 

 

The risk of reacurrance after a mastectomy is quite low as pretty much all the breast tissue has been removed but it can happen.We can't tell you for certain that it won't but it's less likely. 

 

Try and stay stay away from the secondary threads as they will only increase your anxiety , there are so many success stories amongst the forum but it's all too easy to focus on the negatives, there were times I had to log off as it used to fuel my worries but you get stronger and your confidence returns. 

 

XxJo 

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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Hi Magsta, just to reinforce what everyone else has been saying, that these whirling emotions are quite normal. Your mind is trying to a process life changing disease. When you cannot see the future it is understandably confusing and frightening. I found journaling a way of getting rid of some of my anxieties in the early days while I was waiting for appointments etc. I had a small notebook in which I could rant and rave and note my worst nightmares. Also jot down questions to ask the medical lot. I didn't find my GP service either accessible or helpful. I did find my way to the local Maggies centre who have been invaluable on my journey. I was also very fortunate in that I could relate to all my specialists on this journey. Each and every one being supportive and respectful of my wishes and needs. I hope your team is as wonderful. Good luck on this journey. Use those big girl knickers. Helen does launder them between use! X

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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Hi Magsta, it's very normal to feel like this, putting yourself in a bubble to cope.  Just allow yourself time to work through the emotions. The anxiety can make you feel quite ill early on.  Once your treatment plan is in place it gets a bit easier. We've all been right where you are now and got through it and so can you.  Sending hugs. Xx

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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Sorry I am very down at the moment. The panic takes over as soon as I wake. Out comes the negative thoughts. It takes me hrs to calm to some kind of pretend normal.
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

I feel i will be on high alert for the rest of my life 😒😒 soo many stories on here on BC returning after yrs or less. Is it possible to return to a recon breast?
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Magsta we all completely understand what you are going through right now, it's brutal but believe us when we say it does get easier, your body is on high alert at the moment with anxiety coursing through you, I had never felt so ill in my life as I did in those first few weeks of diagnosis and could not see any end to it.

 

The first time I felt any sort of peace was the day I got the results after my lumpectomy, my husband had literally dragged me through the hospital corridors to my appointment with me raging at him for making me go as I had wanted to stay in bed and pretend it wasn't happening! That moment being told what they had found and what they were now going to do was a real turning point, that was it no more nasty surprise I knew exactly what was happening from then on, we can cope with facts it's the uncertainty that does us in.

 

This is the very worst time, it will get easier and you will cope Xx Jo 

 

 

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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

It is very stressful already. Can't imagine it could get worse. The fear is overwhelming. 😒 it is very hard to take one step at a time, when your mind is racing
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

It’s just about being thorough Magsta & ensuring they have all the info to get the right treatment plan for you, so it is usual for it to vary between us.
Having scans is so stressful, I had to have an mri scan & remember this as being the most stressful part of it for me.
Afterwards, I was glad it had been done as I found it reassuring that everything was done to get the diagnosis & treatment right.
When you’re through this awful stage of uncertainty & your plan is in place, it does feel a lot better.
Easier said than done, but I found it helpful to take it one appointment at a time & not to think to far ahead or get caught up in the β€˜what ifs.’
ann x
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Ann.m why do some have scans and some dont? It scares me they think it's already spread or something. 😒😒
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

The scans are fine, Magstar, I’ve not heard about anyone having to hold their breath & a ct scan doesn’t take too long. MRI scans can be a bit more involved as you have to be still for a longer period, but the team will help you.
As ever, the prospect is always worse than the reality. L
ann x
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Thank you for your reassurance ladies. X
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Sunflower.. I couldn't get an appt at the docs. They have changed the system and I have to call in the morning to get on the call list or wait till next week!!
On the plus but scary side. I now have a ct scan appt tomorrow now and bone scan on Friday.
I can't wait till these are over with and I know the results. I'm petrified of it. Just when you think you've heard the worst..another one could hit you in the face after these. 😒😒
Anyone know how bad these scans are.. Do you have to hold your breath ?
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Hi sunflower. Yes your are right had my date bought forward. Had same surgery as yourself and have been in the April surgery thread most days. At my results appointment I was offered the oncotype test where the tumour is sent of to California It is these results I get tomorrow. If the score is low then no chemo on the fence my choice high they recommend chemo followed by rads and hr tabs. Hoping and praying the score is low as the thought of chemo terrifies me. Anxiety just starting to build but I’m doing ok. It’s one of those things I cannot control but I can control how I feel so really swearing st these gremlins at the moment. Will let everybody know tomorrow but app is t till late afternoon.
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Sunflower I meant a 2 and 4 week wait for results, yes they do 2 pictures both sides infact I had an extra one as she got my fingers in one of them as i was holding my other boob back whilst leaning forward! Xx 

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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Hi Magsta, sending you a massive hug. I know how you feel about waiting for results it is the worst thing ever. I’m still waiting for my HER2 results, my others were E- P- Got my CT and MRI Scans next week. My lymph biopsy was also inconclusive. It is such a scary time, but there are lots of lovely ladies on here who have been through it before and ladies like me who are newly diagnosed. We are all here to hold your hand and get you through it. Take care chick
Hugs Mrs S xxxxx😘
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Thanks Sunflower 😊 Results within 2 weeks although I mentioned they took 4 last year so she put on my notes to make sure that didn't happen again!! 

We shall see πŸ€” Xx 

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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Hi magsta. Morning are not good for me either but they do get easier just tell them gremlins to do one and think of something nice and just drift. I am often giving myself a good talking to maybe not so often now but a couple of weeks ago I was just the same as you and I remember jobey telling me it would get easier and you know what. She was right and it will get easier and you will see you are stronger than you think. Once your plan is in place and you know what is happening and when the weight on those shoulders lift and you can then focus on what you need to. One day at a time don’t look ahead and don’t think of the what ifs. You also have Helena’s pants which have lots of pockets. We are sharing them st them at the moment as I need them for tomorrow. Will make sure their washed before I send back. You will get there and it will get easier. Take care and just tell those anxiety gremlins to sod off.
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Thank you all ladies. It really does comfort during my bad periods. 😘
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

It will get better Magsta, I was exactly the same and couldn't see how I would ever find the strength to cope but you do, I've just this minute come out of the breast clinic after having my 3rd year mammogram and it doesn't evoke the heart stopping fear to be there any more, accept that this is all part of the process and don't try to fight it , you will feel better it just takes a bit of time to accept what's happening Xx Jo 

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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Why are the mornings so hard!?! It hits me like a ton of bricks. Been awake for hrs n hrs. Pacing the floor. Shaking. Pains all over. Which make things worse.
That feeling when your stomach drops but it stays there. When will this feeling stop. It makes me feel emotionally and physically weak. And not at all able for what's ahead. 😒
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Hi Magsta74, sorry you find yourself here but you are in good hands with lots of lovely ladies who have had the same misfortune.  I'm also hormone positive so I'm on Tamoxifen now after having chemo, surgery and radiotherapy.  I get a bit of stiffness and aches from it but I can tolerate it.  It's over a year since my diagnosis and life is feeling good again.  Your emotions are normal, all of them so don't feel that you are abnormal or overreacting in any way.  Don't feel guilty about your BC. It's normal to feel guilty, I felt guilty about the emotional  burden I was putting on everyone but once everyone has got over the initial shock they all swing into action and help you.  Here's my story which I hope helps you: http://lifeafterlola.blogspot.co.uk/ I was locally advanced with lymph node involvement and have come through the other side.  Sendng hugs. Xxx

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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Hi Magsta, Hormone blockers don't necessarily cause menopausal symptoms, I had a few flushes but my periods remained regular as clock work unfortunately, try not to worry about them as we all cope differently and although there is a huge list of possible side effects you are not going to get them all. 

 

My lump was found by an eagle eyed radiographer while I was having another one checked out, the one I went about turned out to be harmless but the one I couldn't feel and had no idea was there turned out to be cancer, it did give me shivers for a while to think it could have been missed but that soon turned in to a huge relief that it was picked up and could be treated. 

 

Its natural to over think everything at this stage but try to deal with one step at a time, it's easier on our poor brains that way! Xx Jo 

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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

I found mine by pure accident... I was putting my hair up whilst facing a mirror, both arms up, saw on my right breast, right under like where the bra wire sits, a weird shape to it. Like a bit was missing. Had a feel around. Nothing. Lay down to have a more easier feel and felt a hardening. Bit of a strange shape. Not a round lump as such, just a hardening. Even thought it was my rib for a min. I h i was getting in a shower. 😒 makes me so scared I could have missed it. And worried how long it was there. As I said it wasn't something you would have felt whilst checking in the shower ect whilst standing up.
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

That is the only thing I'm holding on to. I just want the scans done. Results in. And I may be calmer and ready to go with surgery.
I have heard the hormone blocking treatment will throw me into menopause! Was thinking what can be then taken to reduce symptoms.. because surely HRT won't be possible under the circumstances. Does anyone know?
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Magsta

 

Well the way to look on it that they are being very thorough and you will have a treatment plan specifically for you once the scan results come back.  Oestrogen positive means you will be on a hormone blocking tablet for 5 years or perhaps longer, it depends what your oncologist says.

 

I know it is easy to let your mind run away, every ache and pain makes you think it has spread, that is totally natural and we have all been there,  One of the big things to hold on to is that they have said it is small and slow growing, that is really good.

 

At my hospital they do not talk about staging, mine was tubular, grade 1, caught early and slow growing, oestrogen positive, no lymph node involvement.

 

 

Mine was found as a result of a 3 yearly routine mammogram, I did not have a clue, there was no lump nothing.  It did take two sets of biopsies for them to diagnose it as the first set were inconclusive and they did not want to send me away for another 3 years not being sure that it was cancer or not

 

Helena xx

 

 

 

 

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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Oh and thank you for the "tough pants"
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Invasive ductal. 2, small. Slow growing- grade 1. Oestrogen positive. Masectomy is a defo.
Lymph nodes possibly involved too. Still awaiting results of that biopsy too, as first was un diagnostic. I think that is what she said. This is why scans are now happening...this is why I feel like I'm not out of the woods just yet. I'm imagining all sorts like bones spreads ect. Still have to stage it yet. And that's another hurdle.
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Magsta

 

That is totally understandable but you will get through this honestly.

 

You dont say what your diagnosis is, are you happy to share that with us, it might then allow ladies with a similar diagnosis to give you the support and comfort.

 

When i was diagnosed I called my tumour Mr Blobby and told everyone he was soon going to be out of my body, it helped me in the early days of diagnosis to focus on that.

 

One thing I would say is to try not to think too far ahead, set yourself small milestones as they are achievable, I did mine as op, results, radiotherapy, it is amazing how when you do this it helps with the anxiety, after all what you dont know about you can not do anything about, better focus your energy on what you do know and can deal with.

 

Sending you a pair of the tough pants we "virtually" give ladies who are struggling, hope that they might make you laugh, the pockets are deep so that we can all climb in and support you.

 

Sending you hugs

 

tough pants.jpg

 

Helena xxx

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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Thank you ladies. It is helpful to be on here, when my mind is racing and playing tricks. The waiting is awful. Like a living nightmare. I am going gp tomorrow. Shamefuly I have been on Google. Can't help it even tho I know it will upset me. I'm 43 with 5 children and I'm mentally floored, feeling and sobbing like a baby...Waiting for the moment I get my boxing gloves on and fix up!
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Magsta

 

Hello and welcome to the forum, not a place you want to be however you are in a lovely safe place with loads of ladies who will give you loads of help and support.

 

This is the worst time as you are trying to take in what they have told you and waiting for further investigations, but it will get better once you have your treatment plan in place, you will know what is going to happen and when.

 

You are absolutely not a coward, simply a very scared lady who is trying to deal with being told they have bc. The way you are feeling the dread is normal.  Have you thought about speaking with your GP to see if there is something they can do to help you through this.

 

I remember that feeling very well when I was diagnosed in September 2016.  It is 16 months since I finished active treatment and life is back to normal, I will be celebrating my 60th birthday very shortly, something which I was scared I would not see when I was first diagnosed.

 

Just keep coming on here, there will always be someone on here who will be able to help you.

 

Sending you hugs

 

Helena xxx

 

 

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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

I was diagnosed on Friday. Awaiting ct and bone scan. Out of my mind. I keep having panic attacks and a constant feeling of dread I'm going to die. Is this normal? I feel like I'm loosing my mind as well as my body. I can't eat. Or think of anything else but the worse. The anxiety is taking over me. I feel like a coward. I have children and I can't even put a brave face on for them. I can't cope
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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Hi MrsS, you sound as though you are managing, but as Helena says, we are here when you want to rant and rave if or when the calm before the storm ends. I was diagnosed as grade 3 , stage 2 , Er+ With LN involvement in January last year. In fact one year ago next week I started chemo, and here I still am! πŸ€—. Not an easy journey, but doable . As my tumour was oestrogen driven I am now on an aromatise inhibitor for the forseeable future. My Onco is fabulous and assures me he has a full bag of tricks , and that I should treat this as a chronic illness. Once you are on, or in, the NHS conveyor belt you will feel much better. Action is positive and means you are on your journey. We are all here to help you over the finishing line. Good luck. X

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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Hi Mrs S, sorry you find yourself here but you will get excellent support from the lovely ladies here.  As Ladybowler says, the waiting is the worst bit and your mind can run away with you at times.  I had the book thrown at me treatment-wise and here I am a year on and glad to be able to help you get through the same.  Here is my story which I hope helps a bit. http://lifeafterlola.blogspot.co.uk/

I think it helps when we realise our feelings are universal when we feel so isolated and we find it hard to relate to those around us.  Best wishes to you. Xxx

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Re: Diagnosed yesterday 😒

Thank you ladies I don’t know where I’d be without all the brilliant advise on here πŸ’–