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Don't know how i will cope

12 REPLIES 12
JaneBelinda
Member

Re: Don't know how i will cope

Excellent advice Sue C. Lemondrizzle you will be just fine xxx

JaneBelinda
Member

Re: Don't know how i will cope

Hey...Lemondrizzle2...that's not so far removed from my diagnosis. You WILL get throught this...Mine was 30mm. I had my op on Thursday 28 June, off friday to recover...then the weekend...and I drove to work on the Monday. OK, I had to take the odd time out to grab 10 minutes rest but otherwise fingers crossed its been fine. I am waiting for rads dates now.

 

I know we Betty Boobs are all different but please try not to worry too much. As everyone says on here, once treatment starts it is nowhere near as scary or bad xoxox

 

Work? You need to slap them around a bit girl!!! I am self employed but Ive had to kick my fellow directors arses for sure! DON'T let them walk over you!! xxx

Lemondrizzle2
Member

Re: Don't know how i will cope

Hi Lilacmoon 

 

Unfortunately I have no savings or an overdraft so nothing to fall back on. 

It's the unknown that is scaring me but I will message my landlord and try and get in touch with Macmillan. X

Lilacmoon14
Member

Re: Don't know how i will cope

Oh, as for work, I just told them what I was going to do as again, the law is on our side and they have to make adjustments for us.
In the end I was so stressed out I rang them one day and said I'd be back after radiotherapy and the hospital and my doctor backed me all the way.
Sod work. They will just have to cope. The most important person to care about is you.
Xxxx
Lilacmoon14
Member

Re: Don't know how i will cope

Hi there xx
I can understand your worry all too well.
I was diagnosed my first week in my new job so not only the stress of my news but also fully thrown in to a big work mess at my new place and so overwhelmed on all sides.
I'd gone from an organisation where i would have been eligible for 6 months full pay to a place where all i get is SSP. Like you, I live on my own and pay my own mortgage and bills. If only I'd been diagnosed 2 months earlier I wouldn't have handed in my notice 🤣🤣🤣 but you can never plan for these things can you??
I had a meeting with my BC nurse shortly after diagnoses and she referred me to the MacMillan finance team. It took a fair few weeks to get my appointment but they were really helpful and had lots of practical advice. I also got a grant to cover travel costs for my radiotherapy as this was a 2 hour round trip. There are a few other grants available and at the mo im trying to get a reduction on my council tax. I've managed for the last 2 months by using some of my overdraft, but at the end of this month I'll have to figure out how to make my wages up, either by using more of my over draft or dipping in to my savings.
Please don't worry, I know thats easy to say, but there are grants available. Also talk to your landlord/managing agent, and you may find that if you offer to pay a percentage of your rent its better then not paying anything at all. Just get in touch with any creditors you are worried about and talk to them. We have the law on ourside.
There is also a great calculator on the Government website where you can workout how much SSP you will be paid. At least that way you can see what you'd get paid if you take time off for your treatment.

https://www.gov.uk/calculate-statutory-sick-pay

I had 3 weeks off for recovery from surgery and in the end took 6 weeks off to cover my radiotherapy and recovery weeks. It was the emotional side that got me rather then the physical side.
At the start I really worried about money but now I'm happy I just listened to my body and took the time off. The fact I have a good overdraft and savings has helped.
But just follow up when the CAB can see you and in the meantime also check the MacMillan website for further support.
We all have enought to worry about with this exclusive club we find ourselves in so please take heart that there is help out there.
Good luck xxxxx
Lemondrizzle2
Member

Re: Don't know how i will cope

Hi Sally,

Thank you for the reply. I have to say, that work haven't been very forthcoming with what they will pay me let alone what hours I will do. I have tried talking to them but but can't seem to get anyone to sit down and discuss what is expected or how understanding they will be. It's all adding to the stress.

I'm starting to think that I need to look after number 1 and not both with work. 😟 

SallyG63
Member

Re: Don't know how i will cope

Hi lemondrizzle (you got me craving cake).

The first time I had cancer years ago I had a lumpectomy on a Friday and to be honest I was back to normal by Monday. Even this time round I wax back to work two weeks after a mastectomy.

Depending on how much radiotherapy you have its very doable. I had 3 weeks worth first time round and it was just a bit of a nuisance having to travel up to St Thomas' hospital in London every day. The actual treatment took no time at all and the skin just went a bit tough and with a touch of sunburn. Slathering a ton of Acqueuos cream on it sorted that out. Depending on how far from work the hospital is and how long the travel time is you may well be able to work through radiotherapy if you need to.

This time I also had the invasive lobular but mine was 11cms so pretty large and with the same amount in quite a lot of my lymph nodes so mastectomy and chemo. Can't do radiotherapy as can't have it twice. I've been lucky in that because I work in an occupational health setting I've not had to worry and have been on full pay all the way through (including the 7 weeks I had after the second op I need which didn't heal properly). With a diagnosis of cancer you are covered by the Equlailies Act so your workplace should put in adjustments for you if required. I'm working through my chemo but not always doing my full hours. I can go in late and leave early to avoid travelling at peak times.

Hopefully your workplace will be just as understanding.
Lemondrizzle2
Member

Re: Don't know how i will cope

Thank you Sue i will see what i can do with the appointments. x

Sue C
Community Champion

Re: Don't know how i will cope

Hi

After the operation, you will be signed off for 2 weeks. You will be amazed at how quick you will recover. So hopefully you may be able to go back to work afterwards. As others have said, Macmillan will be able to help.

In regards to radiotherapy,  I suggest you book the appointments at the end of the day. I too have cfs and found that I was quite sleepy after the treatment. However I was fine the next day. Just make sure you drink plenty of water and this really helps.

Best wishes

Sue xx

Lemondrizzle2
Member

Re: Don't know how i will cope

Thank you Ann for the reply, i will be chasing up Macmillan if i haven't heard anything by the middle of next week.
SimoneePim
Member

Re: Don't know how i will cope

 
ann-m
Member

Re: Don't know how i will cope

Hi Lemondrizzle,
First of all, welcome to the forum although you’d rather not be here, of course.
There are certainly others here in a similar position & you’re not alone with this.
As chemo is not on the cards, it is certainly possible to work through radiotherapy & many ladies here do. Appointment slots can be agreed that work better for you, so do be clear about what you need.
Others here have found Macmillan helpful with this, hopefully they will be in touch soon, otherwise do get in touch yourself.
So that you are aware, with a cancer diagnosis, we do come under the equalities act which means employers cannot discriminate because of it & that reasonable adjustments can be requested to accommodate your needs during treatment for work.
Do look at the work & finance thread here:
https://forum.breastcancercare.org.uk/t5/Work-finance-and-travel/bd-p/4444
& hopefully, others will be along to share experiences shortly.
ann x
Lemondrizzle2
Member

Don't know how i will cope

Hi everyone, 

Well it's coming up to 7 weeks since I had my 3 yearly breast screening and I still feel that this is all a bad dream. I have grade 2 invasive lobular carcinoma.  

I have just had the results of the MRI and the mass is 30mm and not the 15mm they first thought. I'm booked in for a lumpectomy on the 30th and then radiation therapy. 

My main worry is that I live on my own so I don't know how I will pay all my bills. I live in a 2 bed, private rented house so I don't know what help I can get. 

Also how long will i be off of work for? I know that I can't do anything for the first 2 weeks but I don't know how the radiation therapy and drugs will affect me as I also suffer with mild chronic fatigue. I have been told that at the moment I won't need chemo so I should count that as a blessing. Work haven't been very forthcoming with what they will pay me so im pretty stressed. The nurse has asked the Macmillan CAB to get in touch but I've not heard any thing yet.

Has anyone got any advice or been in the same situation?