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Feeling overwhelmed

14 REPLIES 14
Angie7
Member

Re: Feeling overwhelmed

Hi Claire,

Sorry to hear about covid, I hope its not too bad. Really frustrating to be so close to your surgery, I am sure your team will take the safest option for you. I see my consultant tomorrow, I an anxious to get something done but would like to have Christmas first as the children have all planned to come home. But we will go with whatever advice. Take care and get well x

Claire45
Member

Re: Feeling overwhelmed

@Angie7 

Unfortunately Covid has decided to put a spanner in the works as far as the plan goes. I was scheduled to have mascetomy on 23 Dec. But I've just tested positive for Covid and I think the recommendation is not to have anesthetic until 7 weeks post Covid infection due to possible complications. Will call my team on Monday. If they feel its okay to wait a few more weeks then I'd be okay with that. 

 

Goodluck for Monday. 

Angie7
Member

Re: Feeling overwhelmed

Hi Claire45

 

I am glad you have a plan and are moving forward. I had my ultrasound on Thursday,  they said my lymph nodes were clear, which was a massive relief  and surprise as I had convinced myself otherwise. I am still not sure as my armpit feels uncomfortable. Anyway, I am seeing the consultant on Monday which no doubt will be traumatic. I just want to know how bad things are and what can be done. As I have lesions in both breasts I am anticipating a bi lateral mastectomy. I just want it all removed, but perhaps would like to get Christmas with my family before it all starts. 

Keep strong and take care. Hugs, thoughts and love to you 

Claire45
Member

Re: Feeling overwhelmed

Hi Angie

 

Waiting for the results is absolutely the worst. I have a real sense of relief now I have them and a plan for treatment. I had convinced myself it had spread to my liver - had the most terrible constant stomach pains. They gave me a CT scan and all clear. I think my stomach pain was likely down to anxiety. Hoping you get good results. I feel much stronger today but prior to results I'd convinced myself that was it and did not feel strong at all. 

Claire45
Member

Re: Feeling overwhelmed

  • Hi Jules, I am glad your operation went well. Having dense breasts is certainly a hindrance. If I had only had a mammogram my cancer would have been missed completely. I met with the consultant today and one of the two subsequent biopsies came back as DCIS. It is close to the the original IDC lump and i was told it has the potential to become invasive. I was given a number of options but have decided mascetomy without recon. I don't want them going in, not getting clear margins and having to go in again. I think I can live with one boob. Will also have the lymph node thing removed.  Looking like I will be able to avoid radiation therapy and will be put on Tamoxifen. I feel strangely relieved that I now know what I am facing (although mindful that things can still change) and there is a plan to get rid! I have been told surgery should be within next 30 days. ... just in time for Christmas ...joyous.  sending you healing thoughts and I hope you get good results. 
jules_n
Member

Re: Feeling overwhelmed

Hi Claire, thank you so much for thinking about me. I’m ok, I came home the day after my surgery, and just have to go to the hospital daily to have my drain emptied. Everyone was really kind and helpful. Now I wait around 3 weeks for all the results and a decision on further treatment. I did have a discussion with the surgeon about the diagnostic pathway and why the end result was so different from how it started. She explained a bit about the limitations of imaging, particularly for dense breasts. She said the surgery was the most important thing now, and that even the biopsy results could be different once they have the whole lesion to work on. Please let us know when you get your next results, I hope it helps that there is so much good advice available on this forum. I only told my close family and a couple of friends, until last week when we had to start isolating pre-op. I couldn’t face people asking a lot of questions. I haven’t told my children the whole story, but they have both come home this week to help us which is great. Best wishes XX

Angie7
Member

Re: Feeling overwhelmed

Hi, 

I am having ultrasound today which I am really anxious about. My armpit feels sore which I am certain means the lymph nodes have cancer. Just wonder how far and where else in my body this has spread. I have my results meeting on Monday. More anxiety.

Have you seen your consultant yet, how are things.

Everyone seems so strong and positive on this forum, I don't know how they do it, I just worry ceaselessly and sleep is really hard.

 

Claire45
Member

Re: Feeling overwhelmed

  • Hi Jules, just wondering how your surgery went? Hope you are recovering well. Claire 
Claire45
Member

Re: Feeling overwhelmed

Thank you Angie for your reply. I too have told very few people and it's so hard when everyone around you is oblivious to what you are going through. I know my oldest son will be devastated and I want to protect him for as long as I can. My youngest is going to struggle to understand. I have  a few more days until my appt with the consultant but the waiting is awful. Thinking of you and hoping you get an appt for the results soon. xx

Claire45
Member

Re: Feeling overwhelmed

Hi Jules, I think I will feel better when I know what they are going to do. It's been 2 months since I first went to the GP and it feels horrible knowing i have an invasive cancer but not the extent or what is going to happen next. My mind is in overdrive. I really hope your mascetomy goes well. Sending you hugs and positive thoughts xx

jules_n
Member

Re: Feeling overwhelmed

Hi Claire, I’ve had a similar story to you.... also found a lump in September but not conclusive on mammography, and they were unconvinced at that time, only getting a lot more concerned after the biopsies confirmed IDC. Not only that, the tumour is 7.8cm, and I’m going in for mastectomy tomorrow. I completely understand why you’re feeling as you do. Nothing can prepare you for this journey. I’m 62, so don’t have the responsibilities you do. I hope you’ll feel better once you know what the plan is. XX

Angie7
Member

Re: Feeling overwhelmed

I am in a similar situation to you. I have recently been diagnosed following finding a lump in one breast. Mammograms have shown a lesion in the other breast. It is all overwhelming, I have had biopsies, a cancelled axillary scan but now they want one! I feel things are just getting worse. No date for results and I am becoming more and more anxious as the days go by. I am 64, and my children are older, they have been supportive. I don't  want to tell too many people until I know what I am dealing with. It must be hard with younger children, it may be best to talk to them when you have all the info and a plan then you will be able to answer their questions. Everyone says stay strong and positive but I find this very hard when all I want to do is rage and cry. 

Continue to voice your concerns on this forum, its helpful to know there is this space where there are people who understand and empathise. My thoughts are with you x

Claire45
Member

Re: Feeling overwhelmed

  • Thanks Charlie I very much appreciate your reply and I'm sorry to hear you are in the same predicament re. diagnosis and the not knowing. It's quite hard as I live alone with my two children 9 and 15. I haven't told them yet. My oldest is 15 and about to sit his mock GCSEs, he is already very stressed. I want to know exactly what I am facing so that I can answer their questions. Everything feels so uncertain and changeable at the moment. I have told my mum and a few of my friends who have been supportive. I have taken time off work as it was impossible to focus; work has been hugely stressful over the last 12 months and I don't need that right now. I'm hoping I will find out more on Thursday. Good luck with your MRI and CT scan. Claire 
Charliegirl78
Member

Re: Feeling overwhelmed

Hi Claire

Sorry to hear this, i found out i have BC last thursday - awaiting an MRI and CT scan for further information.  The waiting is the worst as so much goes through your head.  I have 2 young children and the thought of not being here for them makes me feel sick. I woke up friday feeling positive and thinking all i can do is take each day as it comes, but then yesterday had a wobble.  I am incredible lucky to have a cousin who has been through this journey - she has been an incredible support, do you have people you can talk to about things?

Sending positive thoughts your way 

 

Charlie xx

Claire45
Member

Feeling overwhelmed

Back in Sept I went to the GP with discharge from my right nipple I had a mammogram a  month later which did not show anything (I have very dense breasts). They also did an US on my right breast and found a tiny lump. I remember the guy saying he'd be really surprised if it was cancer. Unfortunately two weeks later I  was told it was cancer ( grade 2 IDC HER2 negative). I've since had an MRI and they have found two more suspicious areas on the right breast - one close by (small) but one further away and much larger.  They have biopsied both.  I am now waiting for the biopsy results. I am 45 and a single parent of 2 children. I feel like everything has gone from 0 to 100  -  'I'd be surprised if it was cancer' to 'its cancer but the lump is tiny' to 'we've found some more areas of concern'. I have another appt on 25th to discuss the results and hopefully a treatment plan. I can't help but fear there will be even worse news. How have you all coped with the initial uncertainty and diagnosis keep changing? I haven't really got my head round this at all.