Hello all,
I was told I had BC after my mammogram and ultrasound about 10 days ago following referral from my GP.
Tomorrow I have my first meeting at the hospital, scheduled with a breast surgeon, the biopsy results should be in. So I’m expecting to be advised on the grade of cancer and what the treatment plan is with what we know now, although am aware further tests may be needed to be certain of the stage. Trying to get my head together to make the most of it tomorrow, plus a couple of side queries:
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It’s scheduled with a breast surgeon - does this mean it’ll probably be surgery first then follow up treatment?
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Are GPs good at signing sick notes for BC? I went in to work for a couple of days after diagnosis but then just lost the plot and signed off self certifying. I can’t get a GP appointment for ages but the receptionist has submitted a request for a sick note on the day I need it from. I’m panicking somewhat as the letter work sent me said I must submit a certificate within 24 hours of my self cert expiring or sick pay would be withheld. (And more to the point I like my job and don’t want to lose it by not conforming to some pedantic HR rule).
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Most important question! What are you glad you asked at that initial appointment or kicked yourself afterwards for not asking or clarifying? (Yes I’m a list person…)
Many thanks to anyone reading,
Pye
Hi Pye. Sorry you find yourself here but it is a good place for support and to ask questions. I think the main thing is not to make assumptions and wait and see what your surgeon says tomorrow. No point second guessing what your treatment plan might be at this stage. My tip would be to take someone with you if you can for support and also it’s useful having a second pair of ears. It can also be useful to write things down. It’s surprising sometimes how you can be given lots of information at these appointments but it doesn’t always sink in. I would also make sure you have the contact number for your breast care nurse and check that you can ring them if you have any questions after your appointment. It’s quite common for you to have additional questions afterwards or perhaps something the surgeon said isn’t clear and you might want to double check things. I am also a list person and like to have all the information about everything. If they discuss surgery or other types of treatment there are often information booklets they can give you so I would ask for those as you can then read them later if you want and for me that helped me feel more prepared.
Re work and a GP note. I had a similar issue a few months back. Most GPS are normally pretty good at signing notes but you do sometimes have to wait a while to receive them as they’re so busy - especially at the moment with covid-19 and everything going on. Can you ring work and explain that you have requested it and are just waiting for your GP to action it. It strikes me as quite unreasonable for your employer to place such strict deadlines on something that is outside your control. At the end of the day it’s not like you’re off ill with a cold so I’m sure if you speak to someone and explain the situation they will be OK. Those HR letters are normally just a standard template that they send out to everyone and can sound quite scary / formal. Hopefully if you speak to your boss or someone in HR they will be more accommodating. The Macmillan website has a lot of useful information about cancer and your rights at work - when you are diagnosed with cancer you are covered by the Disability Discrimination Act and so that basically means that your employer has to be a bit more flexible in how they deal with you.
Hope tomorrow goes well x
Hi Pye
First, I’m sorry you’re in this position (me, September 2018) but very impressed with the head on your shoulders. Personally, I’d advise anyone to take someone they trust with them to this appointment and subsequent ones. Nothing can describe the impact of hearing those definitive words ‘breast cancer.’ No matter how prepared you are, your head reels and meantime the conversation is going on. I wasn’t expecting cancer, nor was my breast surgeon, so I went alone to my first two appointments. All I remember is apologising because I said ‘f***.’ After that, a friend came with me and took notes which proved so useful as everything was a blur - and you feel awkward asking the surgeon to slow down so you can write things down. You need to be engaging with her/him as much as possible.
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Going by my experience, yes, it sounds like surgery first. If it were a large tumour, they might do treatment first but you’d be seeing an oncologist. I think it depends on the type of cancer you have.
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I don’t know as I am retired. However, your employer must now register you as disabled under the Equality Act 2010. This site has a good informative section for you: breastcancernow.org/information-support/facing-breast-cancer/living-beyond-breast-cancer/life-after-breast-cancer-treatment/breast-cancer-employment
You won’t feel disabled at this stage but it can be a progressive condition and, depending on what treatment is required and how you react to it, it can be a protracted period of absence or phased-return employment and you want HR on your side. Accept disabled as a means of protecting your rights when you may not be up to battling with idiots.
- We’re all different. All I cared about was ‘what can you do to make sure I’m not sick?’ (I have a lifelong phobia) but there is simply no predicting most of the answers. My diagnosis changed four times over as many weeks! The surgeon will have decided from your results what kind of surgery is required and will talk you through all the options. They may want additional tests like a sentinel node biopsy before moving on to surgery. Don’t be rushed into your decision if you have a choice of surgery options.
You can get general answers to things like how long will I be in hospital? Or Can I be discharged the same day? But anything could happen and 3 days might become 7 or 3 days might become 1. I went in at 8 and was home by 8 the same day, after a full mastectomy and axillary clearance! I didn’t find either of the hospitals I was treated by (went from private to NHS) was concerned with what I’d call the minutiae so a site like this is probably better for advising you what to take with you and what to expect/how to prepare for the days/weeks after surgery.
It’s probably too early to go armed with cancer questions this time. The appointment after surgery will be the decisive one. You need to decide what sort of person you are and take it from there. Either you’re like me, better off not knowing anything, handing yourself over and letting them get on with it. Or you are someone who needs to know all the precise details, can reel off all your abbreviations and needs to know all the pros and cons of each treatment before deciding. Obviously I can’t help you with questions there as I asked as few as possible (apart from the sickness questions lol) and I think I got through it more easily than everyone expected as a result. There will be others who can help with that BUT
DO NOT GOOGLE. It’s disastrous. It doesn’t know your precise circumstances and can’t respond to your emotional state. It can be out-dated, unreliable or pitched way above our pay-grade. The result generally is we get scared witless unnecessarily. Trust me - I broke the rule once and did I regret it. “What’s read can’t be unread,” as my breast-care nurse wrote in response to my desperate email.
I hope your appointment goes well and you get the best outcomes. Whatever happens, there’s support here - and we all seem to have got through or are getting through in our own fumbling ways.
Jan x