Dear Michelle21
The best thing at the moment is not to think too hard about what might or might not happen, but to accept that there will be difficulties ahead. Identify the friends who really care about you and who will support you along the way, whatever that brings, and talk to them. Be pleasantly firm with any who say the wrong things and be frank about your own needs; your emotions come first.
I don't know whether this is any help, but I was diagnosed three weeks ago with a 23mm grade 3 invasive ductal cancer with benign lymph node core biopsy.
Surgery is on 24 April. The surgeon, whom I saw this Thur 12 May, is performing a lumpectomy: a simple wide local excision. Before surgery, I am receiving an isotope injection and, whilst anaesthetised, will be injected with blue dye. This is to show up whether and which lymph nodes have been affected by the cancer. The lymph node assessment will be carried out whilst I am under anaesthetic. They will take out the sentinel node and any others affected, which could mean some or all of the nodes, but this will be done in the one operation.
The surgeon said that whether or not I will require chemo would depend on whether lymph nodes have been affected. If all are clear, I should not require chemo; just radiotherapy, and also hormone therapy as the tumour is strongly oestrogen positive, 8/8. (The surgeon did say this is common.)
Before any treaments are given, there will be a four week wait after surgery to allow recovery.
There is a risk that if a clear margin has not been removed along with the tumour, I will need further surgery and that would be a mastectomy, but this in only a small risk.
Everyone is different. The best thing is to talk through your own case with your surgeon and ask him/her what they recommend. Accepting what we cannot change is perhaps part way to dealing with what will change us.
Bery best wishes
