Having to cope on your own

[Suzy Q]

Hi ,I'm home from surgery and all went well .No pain yet but I did have nerve blocker so I'll see when that wears off. As others have said on this brilliant forum it was much better than I imagined .Now for the two week wait for results and next step in treatment .Wishing you all the best for next week ,I won't say "you'll be fine " as i got heartily sick of hearing that from people who have no idea what we're going through .Hope I don't sound too ungrateful.Sue

[Appletree]

Thanks Fuffs, another useful tip. I've had a brief look at the exercise sheet, and will have a think as to how I can incorporate the exercises into daily life. Much as I hate housework (I do have a cleaning lady I have trained not to attempt to discuss cancer or treatments), some light dusting duties involving stretching in one direction or another could be useful. My architraves will become super clean, no doubt.

I pruned two of my apple trees yesterday, but still have a small one I could probably manage in a week or two. I prune them to my height plus my arm's length, and use long-handled pruners for some parts. There is a nice young man who sometimes does gardning jobs for me, so I'll get him round to do the heavier bits that would be a strain.

Let's hope the weather continues to be cheerful as that does make a difference.

[Fuffs123]

Well another forum member told me about the cushion and boy did it come in useful. OH decided to take the quickest route home but hadn’t considered that it was littered with speed humps! That was interesting to say the least, lol. Do your post op exercises religiously but gently to start with. One tip I got was to reach up and touch the frame of the door every time you go through one. Looks a bit bonkers to others but is a good stretch for the underarm snb area too. X Francine

[Appletree]

Thank you very much Fuffs 123

That's most helpful. I would never have thought of a cushion, but that will be really useful.

Hope you remain clear of cancer yourself. Hugs back again.

[Fuffs123]

Hi ladies. I don’t post on this forum very often now but just wanted the pre op ladies all the best. I was diagnosed in Jan 15 and had 3 lumpectomies and snb, followed by rads. None of the ops were a bad experience and I needed virtually no pain relief, only took the odd paracetamol. I can remember how nervous I was before the first op, which happened to be on my birthday! No sleep at all the night before and thick fog on the early morning drive to the hospital made me a wreck by the time I got there. One thing I would say is to make sure the person picking you up by car brings a cushion for you, so the seatbelt isn’t right on your chest. Sending you virtual hugs, Francine.

[Suzy Q]

Hi ,you’re not far behind me then .Im just home from having guide wire and injection neither any problem.I have to be at the hospital at 7 also not too bad as I’m only 10 minutes away and will probably be awake most of the night anyway .Thank you for your good wishes .

[Appletree]

Thanks Suzy, my surgery is on this coming Tue 24th. I'm having the isotope injection the same morning before the op.

I've done most of the shopping I need to do in advance; it's the waiting that's so difficult. I have to be at the hospital by 7.00 am which is quite a challenge, but one has to do these things! I've already been told the isotope injection is at 11.00 am.

In fact, I think I'll call the Cancer Nurse team number and see if they can talk me through the admissions process. (I had my pre-op assessment on 5 April.) I signed the consent form when I saw the surgeon last Thur.

All the very best for tomorrow.

[Suzy Q]

Hi Appletree,I’ve been very fortunate to have had no side effects at all from letrazole and often get a different brand from my chemist but luckily no difference .I to was dreading a return to menopausal symptoms . Is your surgery soon may I ask? 

I’m off to the Breast clinic this afternoon for guide wire and radioactive dye another step closer thank goodness.I just took a call from Breast nurse and I thought she had rung to cancel op but no just checking I’d had pre assessment so panic over.

[Appletree]

Dear Suzy

All the very best for tomorrow. You've had a long wait which must have been very difficult; I'm exhausted just keeping a level head since diagnosis on 28 Mar. 

Do you mind my asking, have you had side effects from the Letrozole? My tumour is oestrogen +ve, 8/8, so apparently I shall have to have hormone treatment. I know we are all different and could well have different reactions, but it's recurrence of menopausal symptoms that seem to be common and I had a very diffiuclt menopause. If I have to put up with it, I have to put up with it.

There are some very helpful, understanding posts in this forum. Particularly, we are allowed to feel whatever we feel! Perhaps those of us who are alone and cannot sleep can cheer each other up in the small hours, by just being here. (My cats are getting used to middle of the night computer sessions.)

Please do let us know how you get on tomorrow.

[Suzy Q]

Hi Appletree,I know excactly how you feel .I too am facing this alone having lost my husband to cancer 5years ago .Friends and family are very supportive but you do miss having that one person in your corner.Im having surgery tomorrow ,lumpectomy and snb.Not much sleep for me this week .Ive waited since October as tumour was against the chest wall and ive taken letrazole to successfully shrink it away to hopefully get clear margins.

Really been wishing this week away feeling apprehensive but want it over with and onto the next part of this sometimes very lonely journey..

[cazzy50]

I don't have a partner, though my son,22, does live at home. He tends to inhabit his bedroom and comes out for food occaisionally bless. But ,like you, I have a good circle of friends. Still waiting for a game plan and seeing the surgeon on Friday. I am lucky in that I work , that keeps my mind occupied for most of the day. I have a dog whom I take for walks, that fills up some of the evening. Then comes the quiet time, before bed, and I really do want to sleep. I find coming onto this site and reading all the latest posts, sometimes replying , sometimes posting helps, it settles my fears. I find it a comfort to know that there are others out there who have the same emotions, fears and ,often, hope. I read, play scrabble on line, and I have gone back to jigsaw puzzles. I do the 500 pieces as they are quick to do. Hope you find something to distract, even for a while. This is is excellent, Hugs XXX  

[Bellas Mum]

Sounds like you have a good circle of friends. It is daunting and I have a partner. This forum is fantastic for support and also advice from the ladies on it. I know not everyone likes attending groups but can your breast care nurse put you in touch with a group in your area?

I wish you well and dont want to offer platitudes. Talk to the people who are helping you. I know it doesnt replace the 4am waking but there may be one who will tell you to call them. Good luck Appletree x

[Appletree]

It is very good that there are so many ladies out there with caring partners who can help them through breast cancer and all that entails, but how are single women managing? Those with no partner, who live on their own and do not have family available?

Fortunately I have some very helpful friends and neighbours who pop in to see me and help with shopping; one is very kindly taking me to the hospital for surgery next Tuesday and another is bringing me home the following evening, but inevitably I shall have to manage on my own for most of the time. I have a list of really caring people who have offered to take me to chemo sessions if they are necessary (that will not be established until after surgery), but it's the early mornings, around 4.00am, when I wake up feeling totally isolated that are terribly daunting. Getting up and doing something at the computer helps, but I am having to persuade my cats it is not breakfast time and they need to sit politely and wait quietly (which they are now doing).

How are other people coping on their own?