It all happened so fast

[Iamstillme]

I think I've had pretty much all the tests they can give and I found the mammogram the second most painful one - local anaesthetic in armpit was much worse! I have a major needle phobia - I don't usually feel them but if I see a needle, panic mode sets in and I can't breathe or focus and I start crying hysterically. Thankfully, the staff at my hospital are very, very understanding and hide the needles as much as they can or distract me until it's done. Needless to say, I'm having a PICC line put in for the 8 rounds of chemo.
I hope Monday brings you some good news and wish you all the best with your treatment plan.
Sam xx

[Hansa]

Aww I’m glad you got some good news , I am a wimp and was hoping they could check the clip with ultrasound and not mammogram but as I say I haven’t been told much yet except that it’s going in. Btw, I was diagnosed on the 14th June but had some other issues so they did a ct . Waiting for results with oncologist on Monday and praying that there is no more anywhere. ! Then onto the plan . Thinking of you all x

[Iamstillme]

Hi Hansa,
I'm glad that Allypops was able to tell you the procedure. I wasn't really paying that much attention as I was joking around with the nurse - at the senior ultrasound specialist's expense (I probably should add that he did see the funny side and joined in after the procedure) - I had the clips put in at the same time as the biopsies so it was all checked by ultrasound.
Update: I misread the report - in my defense it was terrible writing and upside down - it's triple negative.
But, bone scan & ct came back clear - finally some good news!

[Hansa]

Thank you sounds gruesome but must be necessary I suppose .

[Allypops]

Hi Hansa, I had 2 clips inserted on 3/7/18. It was very similar to the core biopsy but without the “click”. So, done under local anaesthetic using ultrasound. Cut a small nick in skin, insert needle and push through the clip. I then had a mammogram to check they were in the right place. Then home. I tend to bleed and bruise a lot but have had less for this than the biopsies. It wasn’t too bad at all. The mammogram was the worst bit but I still have swelling from biopsies and some pmt tenderness too.

[Hansa]

Hi , i have been told that I am going to have a breast clip as well, if you don’t mind , wud you tell me what they do to insert them ?

[Iamstillme]

Thank you Ann. Yes, they are being very thorough, which is great as I know I'll get the best treatment for me. And, although only been 43 days since I found the lump, I've learnt that patience is not one of my strengths especially as these past few days have dragged.
Tomorrow is going to be a long day at the hospital - 9:30am injection, 12:30 bone scan & 4pm ct scan - so I guess I should try to get some sleep.
Sam x

[ann-m]

Hi Iamstillme,
Sending loads of best wishes for Thursday, at least you’ll soon have the full picture & treatment will start soon to get it dealt with.
ann x

[Iamstillme]

Update: results of 2nd set of biopsies are: small lump is 'offspring' of larger original tumour; lymph node is showing cancer markers and is possible that it's spread. Bone & CT scans booked for tomorrow with results on Thursday.
ER/PR negative & HER2 positive
Neo-adjuvant chemo still going ahead as planned - likely to start within 2 weeks.
Plus side - heart is functioning as it should.

[Mai7]

Hi Maxine, welcome to our lovely forum but sorry you find yourself here.  It is a very daunting time but it will get easier once your treatment starts.  The good news is that you can have surgery first and chemo after which means your tumour is operable. Mine was inoperable so I had to have the chemo first.  Thankfully I responded  enough for surgery.  It is important that you keep away from people whilst on chemo.  If you need financial support McMillan offer help so it may be worth popping into their information centre at your hospital to discuss.  You can also submit a PIP claim on hmrc https://www.gov.uk/pip/how-to-claim and should be successful if you get it in now as they usually cover you for chemo but they don't pay out retrospectively.   In case you didn't see the link below, here's my blog which I hope you find helpful:  http://lifeafterlola.blogspot.com  It's completely normal for your emotions to be all over the place for a while and you are under no obligation to make sense to anyone. Just give yourself time and if you need a meltdown just have one.  Hugs and best wishes. Xx

[Iamstillme]

It's not a pretty sight, Helena, but I shall wear them with pride.
Sam xx

[Iamstillme]

Hi Maxine,
I've only just started this journey myself but if there's one thing I can assure you it's this: you will not be traveling alone. As Jobey68 & ladybowler said, the lovely ladies here are with you every step of the way whether you need support, advice, to vent or even just a shoulder to cry on.
Mai7 has posted her blog link 3 posts down from yours, which may help?
Huge hugs, Sam xx

[ladybowler]

Sam

He he, you have just made me laugh out loud with the image of you wearing them on the outside of your clothes 🙂 🙂 xxx

You call away there will always be someone who will be able to help you with whatever it is you need to know.

Helena xxx

[ladybowler]

Maxine

Just wanted to echo Jo's post.

One thing with regard to the financial side of things, I know that there have been ladies on here who have enlisted the help and advise of their local McMillan Centre who appear to be very good at helping with that side of it, so I do not know if you have a centre near you but it might be worth giving them a call.

We are all here with you and sending you a pair of our touch pants that have very deep pockets for us all to get in to support you.

Sending you hugs

Helena xxx

[Jobey68]

Good Morning Maxine and a warm welcome to the forum, we are of course sorry you've had the need to Join us but we will help in anyway we can. 

It's all pretty surreal in the beginning and everything feels out of your control, you go along from appointment to appointment thinking how can this be happening!? It does get easier I promise 😊

You do have to be very wary of picking up bugs while having chemo and you most likely wouldn't feel up to looking after little ones either, we have lots of teachers across the forum who have to take a break from work during treatment for the same reason. 

Once you know exactly what's going to happen it really does help to unscramble your brain, knowledge is the answer to coping, our brains need facts not what ifs. 

So many ladies here who who are either about to start treatment or who are out the other side so not much we can't help you with between us. I'm over 3 years on from diagnosis now and can assure you life does get back to normal Xx Jo 

[MaxineParry]

Hi everyone, I'm Maxine I was 50 in Feb this year, was diagnosed with grade 3 primary breast cancer on monday this week, told I have to have an operation but until next Thursday 5th July I won't know what type as I had a lymph node biopsy but been told will need approx 2/3 weeks recovery after that, and then will have to have chemo for approx 6 months every 3 weeks, I have been a reg childminder for over 20 years but was told under no circumstances will i be able to childmind, as my immune system won't be able to take any infection, so have had to give notice to 5 families this week, horrible 😞 worried about being self employed and the financial situation, but everything just seems to have happened so quickly, my head is spinning, o e minute I think come on ur strong u can get through this, then I suddenly out of the blue have a complete meltdown 😞 have only read my booklet today and seen this forum, hoping that if I can talk to other ladies in same position it may help to I don't even know just help ????

[Iamstillme]

Thank you Mai and way to go! I'm so glad that you're at the other side. I can't wait to be where you are now.
I will head over to your blog in the morning.
Sam xx

[Iamstillme]

Helena,
I'm sure I'll be calling on everyone's expertise & advice once my treatment starts going.
Of course I'll be wearing them on the outside, I want to show the cancer that I'm not alone to kick it to the kerb!
Sam xxx

[Mai7]

Hello Iamstillme, yes, you are still you though your mind has probably gone on a strange vacation for a while.  I just wanted to send hugs as I know what a difficult time it is between diagnosis and treatment.  Here's my blog which I hope you find some comfort from and there are useful tips which I gathered with other ladies whilst going through chemo.  http://lifeafterlola.blogspot.com/

 I was diagnosed back in March  2017 with a large invasive tumour, also in the lymph nodes and I went through chemo, surgery and radiotherapy and now I'm on Tamoxifen and doing really well.  In fact I did a 5k race for life last weekend!  Stay strong, enjoy happy days when you can and cry when you need to.  Hugs and best wishes. Xx

[ladybowler]

Sam

The one thing we do become along the road is expert in understanding the terminology which only a few weeks previously we knew nothing at all about.

The thing is that they are making sure that they have all the information they need so that they can make a treatment plan which is specifically for you and whilst it is frustrating and scary waiting it is for the best.

Dare you to wear them on the outside 🙂 :).  They come with lots of love and support from all of us

Helena xxxx

[Iamstillme]

Thank you Helena, that did make me giggle - much needed after the knockback.
Just got a call from a genetics specialist at another hospital & have an appointment for tests on Friday morning. Apparently there's a difference between genealogy and genetics but I sucked in science at school (a million years ago or thereabouts) so I'll just go with it.
I know the worst is yet to come but the waiting is mind-numbingly frustrating!
But I shall wear my freshly laundered tough pants each hospital visit and feel lucky and grateful for all the support they carry. I think I kinda rock these bloomers 😉
Much love, Sam xx

[ladybowler]

lamstillme

Oh mate I am sorry about that however it is good that they are being thorough and you will have a specific treatment plan put in place soon, it is just the waiting.

The emotionless bit is quite natural and is a defence mechanism, just keep coming on here whenever you need to and we will get you through this.  Any questions there is bound to be someone on here who will be able to answer them.

Sending you a pair of our virtual tough pants that we let ladies have as they have very big pockets so that we can all get in there to be beside you.  Hopefully it will make you laugh as well as they are rather big and baggy, however as you can tell they are freshly laundered

Sending you hugs

Helena xxxx

[Iamstillme]

Unfortunately treatment plan is delayed as 2 more tumours have appeared - 1 near original one and 1 in aux node. Had more biopsies today and they put in 3 marking clips at same time. Results next Monday.
Also have heart checks on Saturday.

[Iamstillme]

Thank you Helena.

Yes, limbo feels very lonely so I am really looking forward to getting my plan tomorrow. Only concern is it will be delayed cos something else has appeared on mri or chest x-ray but I'm trying to stay positive.

I've had a bit of a wander around, popping my head into several threads and getting a feel for the place. I have quite a small support group around me and they've been great but it's good to know that I have support from those who actually know what I'm going through.

I'm feeling quite emotionless at the moment and I know that will change so you'll probably see a lot of me when it does!

Sam xx

[ladybowler]

lamstillme

Hello and welcome to the forum, yep not a place any of would willingly choose however it is a place where you will get help and support from the wonderful ladies on here.

This is the worst time where you are in between results and a treatment plan, it feels like you are on a runaway train with no way to stop it, but once you have your treatment plan it will get easier because you will know what is going to happen and when.  We can all relate to that on here.

Keep coming on here whenever you want to rant, rave, cry, ask any questions and there will always be someone who be able to help you

Sending you hugs

Helena xxx

[Iamstillme]

Hi everyone,

I found a large hard lump 35 days ago - I examine myself every day so this was a huge shock - went to docs 2 days later, who referred me to the Breast Clinic. 1st appointment was June 4th where I had exam, mammo, scan and biopsy. Also another appointment was made for June 18th for the results. Needless to say, it wasn't good news - invasive breast cancer was the verdict, preliminary 6 mths chemo and op was suggested but they needed to make sure. Another exam told them that the lump had almost doubled in size. They sent me for a gene test and a chest x-ray the same day. 2 days later I had an mri.

Results for those are tomorrow (except gene test as they said it could take 4-5 wks) when I go back to the onco. I should also be told what stage/grade it is and the treatment plan.

I feel like I've been caught in a tornado but I'm scared that when it stops this will all hit me like a freight train.

I know everyone's different but has anyone else felt like this?